1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Not necessarily true,

mine says I've only hired her for the bedroom, and if I want housekeeping or housework then I should hire a maid.

 

But as the OP is claiming love, you're probably right, love always means much less sex.

photo?

sorry i came late to this one...

 

SURE she had 100's of thousands of baht, and it's funny how the farang always shows up and the money is needed right away!!!  it's not like you dated her and she said, "oh, i don't need your money for years."  never.

 

giving her 1 baht makes you....... well...... ah...   (nice words)

 

in your 30's... you need MILLIONS For retirement.  TENS of millions for yourself.  this investment is NEGATIVE 100% of your money.  555555

 

the sad part is when you are broke they will hate you for being broke. in fact, your brokeness will be bad luck for their family.  your lack of being rich will make them all sad.  you will have let down them all.  

 

OK, plan B.  go home, ask your family to sell their house and give all the money to your gf.  i need Part 2 of this thread... 

3 minutes ago, UbonThani said:

photo?

Could you PM him asking for a photo ?

On 4/25/2020 at 1:57 PM, BritManToo said:

Nah, the ag. supplier will be in on it with her.

Sell to you at double the normal price, then the supply shop slip her 25% at a later date.

 

5k on fertilizer is a massive amount, my misses didn't spend anywhere near that on her 5 rai rice paddy for the entire grow.

Puy sip haa,sip haa, sip haa 5 000 bth! Seller going to ask where is your 2 truck to get it! My wife family have 13,5 rai rubber tree, 8 rai sugarcane, 6 rai rice and 1100 tree dragon fruit i don't know land size off that! Other land over 50 rai what bro and wife sisters haddle! And only land where has papers is my wife's 2 rai! What land  is our home whit house!

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

An extremely violent psychopath.

Like every other LTR I've had in Thailand.

 

 

It's odd, I have a similar experience in terms of psycho behaviour, you hear that a lot from people with SE Asian women.

 

How were you able to embark on an LTR with one who made 40000 on weekend though, presumably she wasn't amenable to your 10K limit?

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Sex, drugs, alcohol, hookers, betrayal .........

I'm living in a James Bond movie, my bird even looks better than Pierce's.

 

Tell you what, I'll put you on ignore.

Ouch, Im hurt, thought we where friends here? ????

 

the first thing you should have done is ask to see her business plan, or help her produce one, if it was realistic and achievable then invest, if not dont.

28 minutes ago, Logosone said:

 

It's odd, I have a similar experience in terms of psycho behaviour, you hear that a lot from people with SE Asian women.

 

How were you able to embark on an LTR with one who made 40000 on weekend though, presumably she wasn't amenable to your 10K limit?

He is similar to James Bond you know , although I must have missed the James Bond movie where hes sat in a backpackers in Cambodia, sipping on 50 cent beets and oggleing the back packer girls in bikinis around the swimming pool 

That's a but like asking how can I have my meal at the restaurant and not pay for it?

Seriously though, perhaps you should take charge of said project and help it on its way.

Mr.Milk;

 

In all seriousness (well, relatively speaking) we need to know a bit more about YOUR situation before we can actually figure out good advice. For example;

a/ what do YOU do for a living and approx. how much do you earn?

b/ your visa status

c/ what does your ladyfriend do and how much does she earn?

 

Then we can see what each of you is contributing in relative terms to the farm. From what I have read here, if you are teaching you probably aren't making much more than 30,000 baht a month, so where is the money coming from to finance the family farm?

 

Even IF all works out and the fantasy farm begins producing, the gross income of 60,000 baht a month is nothing really. Deduct expenses, taxes, upkeep, etc. and then how much is left over? Money doesn't grow on trees, even durian trees.

On 4/25/2020 at 7:55 PM, Puchaiyank said:

Be aware that if you try to leave her...there may be an altercation...kitchen knives may be in play...just saying!

 

If you plan your escape carefully, you may do so without all the drama...

 

Go see an old friend in another city...wink wink!

That my friend is great advice.If she is convinced that you are leaving you are placing yourself in a very vulnerable position.Yes go visit an old friend and leave selected items behind so as not to raise any suspicion.

Believe me its quite scary staring down a kitchen knife or a pair of scissors. Ask me how I know...

24 minutes ago, jaideedave said:

That my friend is great advice.If she is convinced that you are leaving you are placing yourself in a very vulnerable position.Yes go visit an old friend and leave selected items behind so as not to raise any suspicion.

Believe me its quite scary staring down a kitchen knife or a pair of scissors. Ask me how I know...

OK.............errrmmmm :How do you know ?

On 4/26/2020 at 7:32 AM, Skallywag said:

Then you are not "giving" her the money, you are "loaning" her the money

No - I give her anything she wants. She always gives back. If she says she needs money, I'd never say "I'll lend you some" because she just doesn't work that way and neither do I. There's a basic difference.

On 4/25/2020 at 1:49 PM, MrMilk said:

The land was given to her as a gift from by mom/dad. I think they jumped the gun a bit early and expected us to get married in not long. 

 

She come from a wealthy family which have a lot of land around in the district. Money is not a concern from them.

 

The thing I don`t get, and have a hard time accepting, is that I should be the one paying for this party.

 

If they want to give her land and secure her income then perfect. Nothing better than that. But shouldn't THEY be the one following up on this too then until she begin earning money from it?

After 15 or more quite informative posts and stack of simple, good advice, the poster above is still complaining that he doesn't understand why he is paying. 

More advice to the poster: -

 

WAKE UP! go back and read what people are saying to you. 

If not, stop posting ineffective and weak responses.

You either continue paying and put up with your burden, or you get a grip and do what it takes to improve your life.

Nobody can do it for you.

You asked - you have been told, warned and advised.

Up to you!

 

Me? I'd walk.

But I don't have your problem.

So I happily stay.

 

Sorry to say this but your being taken for a ride this is never going to end unless you have the courage to walk away and I think when the time is right you will have to do it very discreetly when she is out at work and move to a new province, this might sound harsh but it’s the only way otherwise you have to accept what’s happening but you’ll be paying for the rest of your life sadly you like many other foreigners are looked upon as a living ATM machine.

Tell her you can't afford this, and she must budget it as a proper business.

Offer her a monthly amount (example 12,000) to be paid on 1st of the month, and tell her it is down to her to budget all expenses out if this amount 

Easier said than done!  She is just your GF, no kids etc.  just walk!  If she was with a Thai man he would have been gone long ago!

You are the farang status symbol. Pay up to live up to the image. That’s more important than you. Hard cold facts. 
it’s all about appearances, esp in villages.  
We all pay in the end. Be it a bar girl, gf or wife. 
but if it’s ending in nasty fights, CUT YOUR LOSSES AND RUN.

On 4/25/2020 at 1:49 PM, MrMilk said:

The land was given to her as a gift from by mom/dad. I think they jumped the gun a bit early and expected us to get married in not long. 

 

She come from a wealthy family which have a lot of land around in the district. Money is not a concern from them.

 

The thing I don`t get, and have a hard time accepting, is that I should be the one paying for this party.

 

If they want to give her land and secure her income then perfect. Nothing better than that. But shouldn't THEY be the one following up on this too then until she begin earning money from it?

Don't forget, this was all worked out a very long time ago, probably when she should have been out playing with Barbies, or their Thai equivalent. Nothing personal, if it wasn't you, it would have been the guy that'd come after you.

Question... as per the law here... do you have a work permit to help work the land? If not then she should arrange one for you and see if you can receive a salary as one if her employees. Yeah like that would work...5555. But the question posed is still in play.

On 4/25/2020 at 1:24 PM, BritManToo said:

You can't!

Once you've started the donations, there's no going back with the girl.

BritManToo nailed it. Really any additional comment would be superfluous.

Run Forrest run

As they say in Thailand You never lose your girlfriend just your place in line. There is another friend right behind this one. I am a lucky man my wife ask for very little she figures she can make it on her own. There are more just like my wife

...3000 a week....just for 'diesel'......???

...come on buddy....something seriously wrong here.......

On 4/25/2020 at 8:24 AM, BritManToo said:

You can't!

Once you've started the donations, there's no going back with the girl.

What you've listed, I suspect only a fraction of that is really being spent.

It's support or no gf.

 

I'd actually go the no gf route at the moment as there are plenty of prettier, younger and more broke gfs to be had.

Mine wanted me to fund rubber trees a year or two back ..... I told her no chance.

Sadly she didn't leave ..........

I couldn't have said it better myself. 

1 stay and pay ,       2  Run be free         like the thais say up to you 

On 4/25/2020 at 1:20 PM, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

Why would you want to keep the leech? Turn off the money tap and see how much she still 'loves you'.

 

It is her land, her family, her investing in something she can't afford. Nothing at all to do with you. Nothing at all. Move on. Why do you even need to be told this?

I am a little thai farmer to, I enjoy this farmer life, with my thai gf.

 

If you love the girl and she have a good drive and you have good times together, then I think you are wrong. It looks like she have a dream about have a farm life, that is a respectable idea. You sounds very negative, find the positive way in life. 

 

To make a land ready to serious production with fruittrees or what ever will take 4-5 years, thats fact.

Now in the hot time she/you must make a lot watering, but when the rain time is comming the nature take care of the watering. Look at the culture watering way, can you make it a little cheaper, maybe invest in some solar panels instead of using diesel ? Seems she is watering in the hot daytimes, change to watering in the night time, you will only need to watering around 50% in these hot days. Only watering at trees not the hole area etc.  Go into the project, be a part of it, get ideas, a lot of farrangs have seen other things and can see other ways to do things. Take some nights a week at the land to safe some money, you are starting up a farm, that is hard work. Why pay to much money to people to help, when you can do some of the work, are you afraid of working ? 

 

Read and understand about the fertilizers, maybe she got wrong informations about the fertilizers, you are the good reader (I think you have a better school than she had), use your capacity in a positive way.

 

I think you can safe some money in the project, you can get a good relationship with your gf if you go into the project with open mind.

 

We are all different, but I will prefer a country girl, who like the farm/village life and not a hot bar babe.

 

 

1 hour ago, Brickbat said:

You are the farang status symbol. Pay up to live up to the image. That’s more important than you. Hard cold facts. 
it’s all about appearances, esp in villages.  
We all pay in the end. Be it a bar girl, gf or wife. 
but if it’s ending in nasty fights, CUT YOUR LOSSES AND RUN.

Almost the same situation but I'm married and we have a daughter. If you love her and she's being a good girlfriend (soon wife) otherwise, you are expected to take care of her because you're a farang, and we have more. A Thai man would never stay with this, but it's up to you. Pay and stop the fighting, IF you really love her and she's being ok with the relationship otherwise. You can leave and find a woman who won't want you for your money, but in Thailand that's very hard. Even in America, you take care of the family, although a lot will work and be more independent. My wife does her share around the house and will work when we find people who need help,if only to get out of the house. I told her I will save for traveling and some other things and I give her the rest of the money so she has a little control over finances, which they all like here, and I'm ok with it. The physical is the best I've ever had and I've been around , being 63. That has always been great. You have to weigh the positives against the negatives. They all cost money. Millionaires and other well off people pay for much younger brides for status and sex. If you're close in age and looks, you expect more. Make up your mind soon. A Durian farm is, for now, a good investment and it can cost. If you're around for the payoff, that's ok because it's you that's financing it.

I think that this topic doesn't really need to be discussed at all.  if you laugh at a thai beauty, you should inform yourself extensively about the customs of thailand before binding.  I am not at all surprised at what has been described.