Wasnt greener on the "other side"was it !

[georgegeorgia]

Was on Skype last night talking to a aussie friend who retired to Thailand 2 years ago . Im in Australia and he is in Pattaya.

He retired from my same workplace around 2019 ,63yo and still single was going to lead a "fantastic new life" (his words to everyone before retirement)

His plan was to move in with a Thai lady he met years before however that seems to have fallen thru,i did ask but he kept avoiding what happened.

 

Anyway was on Skype with Mick last night ,hadnt seen him for a few months and to be honest he looked way more than his 65years,he has been under lockdown and his once happy go lucky personality seemed to be miserable and depressive,he once used to get on Skype and boast how healthy he was with his tanned skin and boasting his day and how happy he was  about how he wakes up in the morning has breakfast on the beach goes for a massage at 11am then gym and has many ladies etc etc 

well last night skyping with him he was so miserable i decided to end it earllier ,he looked pale and was into the wine to "cope" as he put it,in fact he was drinking a bottle as we were talking.

 

I had no idea he couldnt get back into Australia but he wanted to come back,"its no good here anymore" he said, "im stuck in this studio and im lonely "....i want to go back to Australia and work back with you guys"...i miss work "

he then kept asking about people at work..."hows tim going ? etc etc.....then asking about minute types of things at work eg, "are they watering my pot plants that i had near my desk?

 

Now rewind back to 2019 and all us at his workplace were so jealous of his "fantastic new life in Thailand" ...........in fact i was thinking too of retiring but i didnt have enough money.

For the first few months he was on skype to everyone boasting about his day in the life of a pattaya retired expat.

 

Now the "Poor B" is sitting and wallowing in a studio apartment in Jomtien by himself ,im thinking he might even neck himself.

 

So just think any of you who had comtemplated retirement before covid how lucky you were not to go.

mind you i guess if he stayed with his GF it may have been different rather than being a single old man by yourself .

seems all his expat buddies have gone home too

 

But as the saying goes ...."it aint always greener on the other side "

Edited August 9, 2021 by georgegeorgia

[JayClay]

What's the moral of this story? "Don't take any steps to improve your life because a global pandemic may happen and screw things up"?

 

You sound like you were bitter and admit to being jealous when your "friend" left. And you now seem to be basking in his misery.

Edited August 9, 2021 by JayClay

[Thaiwrath]

That's one person.

I moved here from UK 16 years ago, and have a far better life here than I would do back home.

Apart from a few inconveniences during Covid, not a lot has changed for me, climate, cost of living etc., still the same. I am now happily single, and do not live in Pattaya, or any other tourist town.

I know many people back home, both younger and older than me (61) who would love to swap places with me rather than spend the rest of their life back there ! 

 

Edited August 9, 2021 by Thaiwrath

[georgegeorgia]

2 minutes ago, JayClay said:

What's the moral of this story? "Don't take any steps to improve your life because a global pandemic may happen and screw things up"?

 

You sound like you were bitter and jealous when your "friend" left. And you now seem to be basking in his misery.

yes i am, im so jealous ????

[canthai55]

His choice to wallow in misery.

If he wants to be Happy, then be Happy. It is all up to him.

Pattaya dead, bar girls gone, life in his studio apartment not to his liking ?

Then put on your big boy pants and get out and do something.

Lots to see and do, even there, even now.

Oh Woe is Me - cuts no mustard

[tonray]

2 minutes ago, canthai55 said:

His choice to wallow in misery.

If he wants to be Happy, then be Happy. It is all up to him.

Pattaya dead, bar girls gone, life in his studio apartment not to his liking ?

Then put on your big boy pants and get out and do something.

Lots to see and do, even there, even now.

Oh Woe is Me - cuts no mustard

Exactly ! Where you are does not bring you happiness. Happiness, contentment and satisfaction wih your life comes from within and largely is due to the choices we make and the company we keep.

[ezzra]

Right now, life in Thailand for everyone is no party or something to boast about, neither so in many other countries around the world who are bigger, richer and much more modern than Thailand,

given time, lots of time, things will get better, this is the nature of life and humanity...

[georgegeorgia]

7 minutes ago, tonray said:

Exactly ! Where you are does not bring you happiness. Happiness, contentment and satisfaction wih your life comes from within and largely is due to the choices we make and the company we keep.

I thinking now it depends on what "support" you have,for eg Mick moved there originally to be with his thai GF, that came to a end so the "support network" was then the other expats at the local bars ,that came to a end and so now he has no one ......so unless your a person who is not  "dependant"on others  then your ok ,but if you are a needy type person who cant be alone then obviosly thailand is not the place for you right now.

Edited August 10, 2021 by georgegeorgia

[sanuk711]

28 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Now the "Poor B" is sitting and wallowing in a studio apartment in Jomtien by himself ,im thinking he might even neck himself.

are they watering my pot plants that i had near my desk?

He missis work at the office so much , your thinking he might commit  Suicide..

................are you serious..... ..

 

Then again there are the Pot Plants to consider..........................

[mfd101]

I retired at 55 in 2004. A senior Canberra bureaucrat on high salary. Now I live here in rural Thailand in a large mansion my b/f & I built, good superannuation though not riches (except by Khmer peasant standards). I have all my books. I love my b/f and all his large extended family. Sometimes they make me want to scream but that's life.

 

The pandemic hasn't made any difference to our daily lives - me in my library all day, b/f at the farm 40 km away. The only difference is no travel for almost 2 years. No sweat. Something to look forward to.

 

Would I ever return to Oz to live? No. Been there done that. I can barely bother to visit. My friends come here and I show them things they've never seen before. Life is not perfect but I'm very happy here and with the choices I've made.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

You had a previous story called 'Should I call'' about whether you should call a possibly sick ex girlfriend but never told us what happened. What happened?

 

I think there are 2 sorts of people in relation to retirement. Those that are happy to take it easy. Those who have their identity through work or just miss work. Maybe he's the latter. He'll get back here in time. Not too shabby with nice weather in a likely nice apartment in Jomtiem near the beach in the meantime. 

I have been in lockdown on and off in Melbourne for about 15 months. Strict lockdown now. Only 5 reasons to leave home and no further than 5 kilometres.  Working from home is good but  it sounds good to be in Thailand with warm weather with empty beaches and cheap hotels. Can support the local economy too. Not right now with  lockdowns there too but could be better than lockdown through a cold Melbourne winter away from the girlfriend.

The hardship faced by the average Thai is terrible compared to the relatively easy life in Australia with government support. But he's retired. Maybe he could help the local people. Give him something to do.

He may forget that there's stricter lockdowns back home.  

[tonray]

5 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I thinking now it depends on what "support" you have,for eg Mick moved there originally to be with his thai GF, that came to a end so the "support network" was then the other expats at the local bars ,that came to a end and so now he has no one ......so unless your a person who is not  "dependant"on others  then your ok ,but if you are a needy type person who cant be alone then obviosly thailand is not the place for you right now.

I agree...I knkow several expats who rely on their wives/GFs for everything...if something happened to their relationships...they would be doing the Swan Dive off the Condo. And the single guys rely on their nightly sexpat binging with their mates....again...it's all they have. I'm glad to be independent....live with GF but that's a nicety not a necessity

[fredscats]

12 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I thinking now it depends on what "support" you have,for eg Mick moved there originally to be with his thai GF, that came to a end so the "support network" was then the other expats at the local bars ,that came to a end and so now he has no one ......so unless your a person who is not  "dependant"on others  then your ok ,but if you are a needy type person who cant be alone then obviosly thailand is not the place for you right now.

About right,Im alone,got my mutts,  but know others who cannot stand lonliness,keep bombarding for come around come for a "cuppa" etc, not so bad if it was not miles out of my way.   Things are bad granted,can still get massages at twice the price etc,my phone starts ringing when in certain sois,just ignore them now,putting prices up is a bad way to get anything

[Maha Sarakham]

Seems like he fell victim to the unsustainable party lifestyle.  Never ends well.  

 

However, it is incredibly foolish to say this is representative of everyone retiring to Thailand.  It all depends on your hobbies and your unique situation.

[2long]

50 minutes ago, JayClay said:

What's the moral of this story? "Don't take any steps to improve your life because a global pandemic may happen and screw things up"?

 

You sound like you were bitter and admit to being jealous when your "friend" left. And you now seem to be basking in his misery.

I tend to agree.

Or could the whole thing be made up?

There are a lot of bored people online nowadays.

[KannikaP]

5 minutes ago, Maha Sarakham said:

Seems like he fell victim to the unsustainable party lifestyle.  Never ends well.  

 

However, it is incredibly foolish to say this is representative of everyone retiring to Thailand.  It all depends on your hobbies and your unique situation.

Agree entirely. Luckily I have a very time consuming hobby ie Music Production on my PC, sometimes to the annoyance of my wife. There are a few weeds growing in our grass after 10 years but nothing I cannot tolerate.

I also enjoy home wine making! Shhhhhhhhhhh. 

I enjoy my own company and that of Messrs Skype, Zoom & Facebook. No worries.

Edited August 10, 2021 by KannikaP

[nikmar]

Ive no regrets at all - life has ups and downs everywhere. 

[OneMoreFarang]

Whatever happens, Mick tried to improve his life. And he moved to Thailand and I am sure he learned a lot.

Maybe in a year he will be happy again with a new girl.

And maybe he will return to Australia.

And even if he returns to Australia with a bad experience in Thailand, he will have learned from it.

Maybe then he will appreciate living in a first world country after he tried Thailand. Maybe he will appreciate more the Australian food, the quality of the roads, the people, whatever.

If he didn't "invest" then maybe he can just go back. It was an experience and he learned from it.

 

Many years ago when I moved to Thailand I had the intention to leave my home country and to live permanently in Thailand. For me it worked out. But that wasn't sure. It could have happened that I liked holiday in Thailand but not permanently living and working in Thailand. And then what? Then I would have move back to "home" and I would know I tried Thailand but it wasn't for me. And maybe I would have tried to move i.e. to Brazil. Maybe that would have worked, or maybe not.

Summary: We make decisions in our life and we can make other decisions and we can change our minds. We can't always be right. 

 

If Mick returns to Australia then I am sure it won't take long before he tells all his mates how many beautiful girls he shagged and breakfast on the beach and all that. And he will remember the good times and probably at least a few of his friends will think something like: Maybe I should try that. Or maybe they think: I should have tried that years ago, now it's too late.

 

Carpe diem!

 

 

[georgegeorgia]

14 minutes ago, fredscats said:

About right,Im alone,got my mutts,  but know others who cannot stand lonliness,keep bombarding for come around come for a "cuppa" etc, not so bad if it was not miles out of my way.   Things are bad granted,can still get massages at twice the price etc,my phone starts ringing when in certain sois,just ignore them now,putting prices up is a bad way to get anything

yeah i think its really "lonileness" that is coming out out of this lockdown among expats .............those of you who are alone are finding it difficult ...of course you always have your pet dogs to keep you company...i should of suggested that to MICK

[georgegeorgia]

7 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

Agree entirely. Luckily I have a very time consuming hobby ie Music Production on my PC, sometimes to the annoyance of my wife. There are a few weeds growing in our grass after 10 years but nothing I cannot tolerate.

I also enjoy home wine making! Shhhhhhhhhhh. 

I enjoy my own company and that of Messrs Skype, Zoom & Facebook. No worries.

Nothing wrong with growing weed

[hotandsticky]

The secret to longevity, wherever you live, is contentment.

 

 

Not the whirlwind of excitement that greets your arrival in Pattaya (or anywhere else in the world) - that soon settles down. Those expecting to live their life on the basis of previous 2/4 week visits to Sin City, quickly hit the buffers.

 

Particularly in retirement you need to be comfortable with your own company - "lockdown" has reinforced that message. There are usually plenty of things to do (and that becomes your support network) but fundamentally, you are going to spend time on your own. Even with a Thai wife or GF you/they should be getting their own space.

 

I made the permanent move 14 years ago and have always maintained that, in Thailand, there is no reason to be unhappy for more than a few days; the environment/culture is ideal to take corrective action to defeat unhappiness.

 

 

[Gottfrid]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

well last night skyping with him he was so miserable i decided to end it earllier

 

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Now the "Poor B" is sitting and wallowing in a studio apartment in Jomtien by himself ,im thinking he might even neck himself.

Let us all remember that you are talking about a friend. To me it seems like you should consider how much of a friend you really are to him.

[worgeordie]

I think he made  mistake in thinking he could lead a life

of massages and ladies ,sitting in a bar, OK in the short time (pardon the pun),

In the 35 years of living here I have never been to Pattaya ,

but have been all over Thailand , I am one where the grass has been

greener, have a family , property , lead the life I want , and the weather.

 

regards Worgeordie

 

 

 

[CharlieH]

It aint life, cirucunstances or geography thats the problem, its your attitude toward it.

If aint right, fix it, dont rely on others to do it for you.

 

 

[tonray]

2 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

I think he made  mistake in thinking he could lead a life

of massages and ladies ,sitting in a bar, OK in the short time (pardon the pun),

In the 35 years of living here I have never been to Pattaya ,

but have been all over Thailand , I am one where the grass has been

greener, have a family , property , lead the life I want , and the weather.

 

regards Worgeordie

 

 

 

I've got a girlfriend who doesn't mind having my guitars hanging on the living room wall in her house...you just can't get that in America friends. ???? (PS I've never been to Pattaya either...but I want to go mainly because I think a ferry day trip from Hua Hin would be a desireable something to do someday)

[bkk6060]

Hmm really?  There is no lock down in Pattaya.

 

OP is in Australia?  Talk about locked down.  Haha possibly the most draconian restrictions and lock downs possibly in the western world for almost 18 months must truly be a totally depressing place to be.

I for one would much rather be here then there.

Edited August 10, 2021 by bkk6060

[tonray]

2 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Hmm really?  There is no lock down in Pattaya.

 

OP is in Australia?  Talk about locked down.  Haha possibly the most draconian restrictions and lock downs possibly in the western world for almost 18 months must truly be a totally depressing place to be.

I for one would much rather be here then there.

OP throw another 'กุ้ง' on the barbie and yearn for Thailand...we'll be waiting for your return

[EVENKEEL]

Hey OP at least Mick had the stones to go on walk about. We all handle the covid restrictions differently.

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

I thinking now it depends on what "support" you have,for eg Mick moved there originally to be with his thai GF, that came to a end so the "support network" was then the other expats at the local bars ,that came to a end and so now he has no one ......so unless your a person who is not  "dependant"on others  then your ok ,but if you are a needy type person who cant be alone then obviosly thailand is not the place for you right now.

Find your friends in other places than bars.

[tonray]

Just now, FritsSikkink said:

Find your friends in other places than bars.

Blasphemy ! (????????????)