Opinion: It is time Thais end the practice of demanding dowries from prospective spouses

[johnbarpic]

8 hours ago, anthobkk said:

Sister of my wife asked 500k baht to her Thai husband at the time of their wedding. The guy also had to pay for the wedding but most of it was recovered from the guests' donations (300 people).

 

When it was my turn to get married, the mom of my wife asked for 1M THB, my wife is more educated than her daughter (bachelor from well-known uni and MBA in UK, mostly paid by her family)

 

After negotiation, I agreed to pay 500K THB and show a total of 1M in cash that would later be given back to me after the wedding. Her mom just wanted to be proud in front of the guests and family to show that the farang husband was able to pay that much.

 

What I didn't know, is that after a year of being married, her mom sent me back the 500K and also gave us a few rais of rubber trees in the south that generate a monthly income of around 30-45K. Of course, it's all in the name of my wife but we used that asset to negotiate a loan with the bank to buy our house in the suburb of Bangkok.  Her mom lives very modestly in her house in the south and I am super happy to take her on holidays with us, inviting her to nice restaurants, trips abroad and I even subscribed for very good health insurance in her name., which I am very happy to pay. 

 

I guess it all depends on the intention of your wife's family. In my case, her mom wanted to make sure I would be able to make her daughter safe and happy and she didn't want us to struggle in life if we had to pay back a dowry. 

 

Regarding her sister's husband, her mom bought them a house in a nice muu baan (after 3 years)

Has mum got any more daughters ????????

[johnbarpic]

7 hours ago, Doctor Tom said:

Then to advance your blinkered view, don't marry a Thai, stick to your own pasty faced, over weight, beer drinking,  women.  I'm pretty sure that the Thai ladies will get over their disappointment at not having a farang slobbering all over them.

Take a chill pill Doc and find your sense of humour.  Please please not WOKE Doc ????????‍♂️????????‍♂️????????‍♂️OMG 

[johnbarpic]

7 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

Please dont ask me how i know (no its not through sleeping with them and it was many many years ago) but most of the hookers i knew in the UK were if you saw them walking down the street looked like very decent young women ,and where they worked ,they were nice women in a very nice enviroment ,one even went on later to have a job you would never believe me if i told you , On is now married and the hight of respectabilaty ,oh the tales i could tell . 

 

Do do spill the beans they all love gossip on here. Name names Ha! Ha! ????????

[Soikhaonoiken]

Call it what you like, Dowrie,  Sin Sod,  but the truth is your buying your Bride too be...

[androokery]

13 hours ago, Justin Kelly said:

I see nothing but mostly a bunch of cheap Charlie’s on this page.  If you value your wife you don’t judge her for her past. God knows most fellas hear aren’t spending a fortune on big weddings.  Giving a poor family 100k thb not that big a deal - helps them, respects tradition and shows you hold your partner in esteem.

Well.... No. If the amount is "not that big a deal" then how does it show you "hold your partner in esteem"?

[androokery]

11 hours ago, WEBBYB808 said:

You mean its time they stopped the scam.  No self respecting Thai man would ever pay what some of you have paid.  If a ladies had a child, been married before, or worked a bar then there is no dowry even by their standards.  They will tell you it's all about face and proving you can provide.  They will tell you it's just for show and you will be refunded after wedding.  I know plenty who have fallen for this scam.  The dowry is to pay for their purity, and if you arent getting that why would you pay.? You dont have to pay.  If you can provide and take care of the lady that will be enough, but if you're a teacher then ... I had a couple try this on me, and I respectfully  said no way.  Well trust me they know if you're good and will take care, and if they say,"no!" then you know it was nothing more than a business  transaction  in the making.   I and many others did not pay and things worked out, but remember  theirs is a different  culture  you just have to balance.  With that said if shes a virgin never married then of course theres a dowry!

Your whole argument falls apart with that last sentence of yours. 

[PuaSai]

Guess I'm lucky.  I didn''t have to pay one.

[Sydebolle]

Another dinosaur rule, the dowry or สินสอดทองหมั้น! 

In Europe, back in the day, the bridge had to bring along house interiors into a wedding like cutlery, linen, crockery etc. The groom's job was to ensure the bloodline would continue ..... 

A non-Thai should never marry a girl with requires สินสอดทองหมั้น as her in-laws are from a different galaxy and millennium which, over time, will create additional inter cultural problems! 

[jacko45k]

1 hour ago, PuaSai said:

Guess I'm lucky.  I didn''t have to pay one.

Maybe the guy before you did?

[Harveyboy]

On 3/9/2022 at 7:28 AM, jacko45k said:

Or saving  up for the bus fare to get her to Pattaya as soon as she is done with school.

soi 6 education .. can't beat it

[Doctor Tom]

6 hours ago, johnbarpic said:

Take a chill pill Doc and find your sense of humour.  Please please not WOKE Doc ????????‍♂️????????‍♂️????????‍♂️OMG 

My comment was done as much tongue in cheek as yours; maybe. Nobody who knows me would ever attach 'woke' to my name.  Maybe I'm just a person with balanced views, 

[anthobkk]

13 hours ago, NanLaew said:

Your MiL sounds like a winner.

 

Is she available?

Yes she is haha but quite old now !

[RafPinto]

3 minutes ago, anthobkk said:

Yes she is haha but quite old now !

Can you send me a picture and how much land is available, please.
I am like the thai girls. They don't care about how you look or how old you are.

If your MIL fits my standard, I will give it a try.

[NanLaew]

9 hours ago, Soikhaonoiken said:

Call it what you like, Dowrie,  Sin Sod,  but the truth is your buying your Bride too be...

Oh no it's not.

 

(I see the pantomime is still going on)

[thwo]

On 3/9/2022 at 7:07 AM, SoilSpoil said:

No way! I have 2 daughters, quite pretty if I may say so, and if they ever decide to marry a Thai guy, his family will pay the jackpot. I cannot own land here, need yearly visa extensions,  cannot get a proper job, was prohibited to enter certain restaurants during the 1st Covid wave and also have to pay a multiple of the local price at National Parks.  

 

Pay up, or I'll send them to University in Italy, Spain or Japan. They will for sure fall in love there. Payback time.

this is even the only smart reason to have kids...

but what a hell for those who got boys, sad for you losers !

 

 

[keithkarmann]

Our dayghter is nearly five years old. If I live long enough to see her get married we will not be asking for a dowry as she is not for sale. Anywhere else this would be considered people trafficking.

I never gave my wife any dowry or gold but in the ten years we have been together she has benifited financially many more times than what she would have got from me if I had paid a dowry and she will benifit greatly financially for the rest of her life after I have passed.

[WEBBYB808]

13 hours ago, androokery said:

Your whole argument falls apart with that last sentence of yours. 

The last sentence  is the only reason one should even consider a Dowry.  You should only br giving a Dowry to a virgin new bride.   Anything else is just wrong.

[RafPinto]

16 hours ago, WEBBYB808 said:

The last sentence  is the only reason one should even consider a Dowry.  You should only br giving a Dowry to a virgin new bride.   Anything else is just wrong.

Guess it's quite difficult to find a virgin.
Maybe some of them tell you that they are still virgin that as much believeable than believing your are a handsome man when you look like quasimodo 555

[Neeranam]

On 3/9/2022 at 7:07 AM, SoilSpoil said:

No way! I have 2 daughters, quite pretty if I may say so, and if they ever decide to marry a Thai guy, his family will pay the jackpot. I cannot own land here, need yearly visa extensions,  cannot get a proper job, was prohibited to enter certain restaurants during the 1st Covid wave and also have to pay a multiple of the local price at National Parks.  

 

Pay up, or I'll send them to University in Italy, Spain or Japan. They will for sure fall in love there. Payback time.

I have 2 daughters and don't want dowry. It is all for show, they give it back after the wedding. 

You pay the standard price at some parks, Thais get a discounted price like most countries' policy.

[scorecard]

20 hours ago, thwo said:

this is even the only smart reason to have kids...

but what a hell for those who got boys, sad for you losers !

 

 

They should have been born in India where the dowry system works the other way around, the brides family give dowry to the boys parents.

 

 

[RafPinto]

Just now, scorecard said:

They should have been born in India where the dowry system works the other way around, the brides family give dowry to the boys parents.

 

 

Any good looking Indian beauty in BKK by any chance.

 

My parents just ask 256 Million Baht. It's a bargain for a stunner like me.

[WEBBYB808]

3 hours ago, RafPinto said:

Guess it's quite difficult to find a virgin.
Maybe some of them tell you that they are still virgin that as much believeable than believing your are a handsome man when you look like quasimodo 555

Exactly!  So why would anyone pay a Dowry where the goods are already tainted?

[PuaSai]

On 3/10/2022 at 4:15 AM, jacko45k said:

Maybe the guy before you did?

No, she wasn't married before me.  

[DaveE13]

On 3/9/2022 at 9:52 AM, Will B Good said:

Have you seen the hookers in the UK????????

You be lucky to find alot have teeth.  Lots are crack heads

[Will B Good]

5 minutes ago, DaveE13 said:

You be lucky to find alot have teeth.  Lots are crack heads

....and those are the classy ones.

[zzaa09]

On 3/9/2022 at 4:09 PM, PuaSai said:

Guess I'm lucky.  I didn''t have to pay one.

Gradually becoming more commonplace among marriage situations. 

I do trust that those that continue to go on about the textbook stereotype of traditional sin sot might conduct some closer observations from a wider exposure and experience - they'll find that every situation is different from the next and an evolved change making it's way. 

[Golden Triangle]

Although not married, been with my Mrs over 10 years, she's never been married, not got any kids, result.

 

We have a lovely life together, do what we want when we want, just me & her, her parents are great, I've given them a few bob over the years, they never ask & neither does the mrs, I just transfer to her & say send that to mum & dad, always goes down well. ???????? 

[TooMuchTime]

No reason to get rid of or consider it a scam.

 

It is more symbolic and the money is just returned.  More of a proof of assets thing.

 

Only people getting scammed are the type who love pattaya and give their life savings to a bar girl.

[jacko45k]

8 hours ago, TooMuchTime said:

No reason to get rid of or consider it a scam.

 

It is more symbolic and the money is just returned.  More of a proof of assets thing.

 

Only people getting scammed are the type who love pattaya and give their life savings to a bar girl.

Blinkered view with a blindfold on.

[overherebc]

On 3/11/2022 at 12:31 PM, RafPinto said:

Guess it's quite difficult to find a virgin.
Maybe some of them tell you that they are still virgin that as much believeable than believing your are a handsome man when you look like quasimodo 555

I've met a few here who became virgins not long before I met them. ????????