Any time I have tried to issue warnings to both my ex's, about bad things to happen if we don't take action, I was always met with irritated looks 

Why are Thais so allergic to warnings and general preparedness? 

They only take action after the horse has bolted (ie, too late)

Needless to say, I have noticed this behaviour beyond the walls of my home too 

We live in a flood-prone area and both the authorities and the locals only kick into action during a flood 

..and they know flooding will happen every year in Nov and Dec but no action beforehand.

 

 

 

Reactive not proactive !

Thais generally think about today and sometimes this week, beyond that its the "might never get there " attitude ????

As long as there is rice to eat and a little money to spend, everything is ok! Don't think too mut!

Yeah it's exceedingly frustrating for us with different values, but it is generally how they are. You only have to go on the road to see there is very little thought for outcomes or consequences. Cutting corners and turning blind into a street on the wrong side of the road is common. Doing u turns or pulling out without looking and lets not get started on financial planning! I sometimes think Thais like to live with uncertainty and calamity

 

Think most puts prospects and them selves in the hands of Buddha.

Well, up to them. None of my business.

55 minutes ago, 2009 said:

Well, up to them. None of my business.

My sentiments exactly, provided they are going to be responsible (aka pay) for their mistakes/carelessness/ lack of planning. Not often seen in Isaan.

 

Always seems to be someone else's problem though...and farang money can make all of their problems go away. I have lived in / visited a few Thai peoples homes. They usually have more broken appliances / stuff than things that are working. Just don't seem to take care of or look after anything

6 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Yeah it's exceedingly frustrating for us with different values, but it is generally how they are. You only have to go on the road to see there is very little thought for outcomes or consequences. Cutting corners and turning blind into a street on the wrong side of the road is common. Doing u turns or pulling out without looking and lets not get started on financial planning! I sometimes think Thais like to live with uncertainty and calamity

 

The lack of forward planning adds to the spice of life. 

My wife is the opposite, she plans everything and doesn't react that great to spontaneity. I on the other hand don't mind discussing the plans for the following day but dislike getting into minutiae. Each to their own I guess.

Ain't that right! If anything needs doing it must be done right now.... or never. No planning, no warning even. I have to live in a perpetual state of preparedness to react immediately but to do what I won't know until the always urgent request is made from the minor to the massive.

4 hours ago, 2009 said:

Well, up to them. None of my business.

It is if you're married to one.

You have identified a characteristic which seems to apply to not all, but to most Thais. I think it is because preparation involves doing something, whereas doing nothing requires no effort.

I’ve been married to my Thai wife for over 20 years.  We’ve lived in two countries and visited 15 together.  She is a well-rounded person, always cheerful and optimistic.  Whenever I bring up any notions of taking preventive actions to thwart a potentially negative outcome, such as not talking on the cell phone so much while driving, or suggesting that a relative should shell out money for a certain medical diagnostic procedure, will draw her immediate displeasure. When this happens, it’s as if a switch was thrown in her mood and she morphs into a suddenly different person. I realized long ago that Thais are deeply superstitious and don’t want to bring up any topic that evokes painful or unpleasant “what if” thoughts because they live almost totally for the here and now.  Whenever we discuss the subject at hand in more detail so I can better understand why she always reacts so negatively, she tells me that if we dwell on what bad outcomes might happen, then in her mind there is a greater likelihood that they will.  This superstitious mindset exists deep within in many Thai and oriental psyches.  So it all boils down to a fear of the unknown, a lack of inner personal courage to consider potential dangers and a belief that if they dwell on potential negative outcomes, then surely they will happen.  

Some Farangs have come to like it "when the twain rarely meets". It makes for a laid back lifestyle.

IMO, the only "plan" a Farang has to persue, is to make sure that the monthly pension money arrives on time.    Everything else resembles "the plans of men and mice".

- All in stark contrast to European "Career-Families". Even planning their weekend activities to the minute. (Optimising their life. Young career folks constructing a "life-plan"). Needing to "re-calibrate" their life-plan with the help of some psychiatrists frequently.

Instead I recommend: When all the "life-planning" starts to overwhelm you, spend 3 months in a small Isaan village. Watch live go by in slow motion. Realise, that the water flow or the meanderings of the nearby river can not be "planned".

I always felt quite comfortable among Thais that were not burdened by any "plans". They seemed happier than the "life-optimisers" in the West. May it last, at least in the Thai sticks. 

4 minutes ago, swissie said:

Some Farangs have come to like it "when the twain rarely meets". It makes for a laid back lifestyle.

IMO, the only "plan" a Farang has to persue, is to make sure that the monthly pension money arrives on time.    Everything else resembles "the plans of men and mice".

- All in stark contrast to European "Career-Families". Even planning their weekend activities to the minute. (Optimising their life. Young career folks constructing a "life-plan"). Needing to "re-calibrate" their life-plan with the help of some psychiatrists frequently.

Instead I recommend: When all the "life-planning" starts to overwhelm you, spend 3 months in a small Isaan village. Watch live go by in slow motion. Realise, that the water flow or the meanderings of the nearby river can not be "planned".

I always felt quite comfortable among Thais that were not burdened by any "plans". They seemed happier than the "life-optimisers" in the West. May it last, at least in the Thai sticks. 

Yes, there’s the Yin for every Yang theory.  An acceptable middle point is there, not too obsessive and not too lackadaisical either.  My wife’s beloved father died of colon cancer that later metastasized to his liver. She is so sad today that she didn't take action long before to have him undergo a simple colonoscopy when it would have caught and removed the polyp that eventually killed him.  There’s that ugly Asian superstition rearing it’s ugly head again…don’t dwell on ‘it might happen’ possibilities until it smacks you right in the gut. 

Spontaneity. Living in the moment. 

 

As difficult as it can be for us Westerners, in a crazy sort of way, isn't that part of the charm of being here? 

 

I probably spend too much time worrying about the future. That was my training and I am not sure it is a better philosophy. 

47 minutes ago, Fore Man said:

Yes, there’s the Yin for every Yang theory.  An acceptable middle point is there, not too obsessive and not too lackadaisical either.  My wife’s beloved father died of colon cancer that later metastasized to his liver. 

I think you hit the nail on the head there. In my experience Thais don't seem to have a middle setting. It is either zero or 500%. 

8 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Not often seen in Isaan.

Then get out of issarn and live in Bangkok where at least the half-smart people live.

This thread conjurs up the story of the fisherman lazing under the coconut tree when the farang approached and said...

15 hours ago, VinnieK said:

Why are Thais so allergic to warnings and general preparedness? 

Doing nothing is a lot easier than doing something for people who live in the here and now. Buddhist training manifested into today's world. 

 

I saw this fine example of me me me mai pen rai at local Big C today :

 

1 truck = 3 spaces

 

 

Most people here are like that, if you want a solution, find educated woman, especially western educated. They are "normal".

If you want to live with village girl, prepare for village wisdom.

 

Can't change them.

15 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Reactive not proactive !

Thais generally think about today and sometimes this week, beyond that its the "might never get there " attitude ????

Explains more happiness

Dale Carnegie says live in 24 hour blocks.

 

Westerners always unhappy and worrying

7 minutes ago, Kalorymetr said:

Most people here are like that, if you want a solution, find educated woman, especially western educated. They are "normal".

If you want to live with village girl, prepare for village wisdom.

 

Can't change them.

Normal? Whats normal about westerners?

18 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Normal? Whats normal about westerners?

whatever the OP is used to, clearly not what he found here

29 minutes ago, Kalorymetr said:

Most people here are like that, if you want a solution, find educated woman, especially western educated. They are "normal".

If you want to live with village girl, prepare for village wisdom.

 

Can't change them.

Yeah funny that. They seem to never learn or grow. Never seem to be able to join the dots. Just keep repeating the same usually bad behavior, entitled ness, laziness etc over and over again and wonder why they cant maintain a relationship for very long. And when they do get a decent feller they take the pess.

Reason always ....man no good, get udder lady. When I hear that (over and over again) I always reply...."oh what's wrong with you ?" lol. In their mind of course nothing....they just never lucky lol

1 minute ago, Kenny202 said:

Yeah funny that. They seem to never learn or grow. Never seem to be able to join the dots. Just keep repeating the same usually bad behavior, entitled ness, laziness etc over and over again and wonder why they cant maintain a relationship for very long. And when they do get a decent feller they take the pess.

Reason always ....man no good, get udder lady. When I hear that (over and over again) I always reply...."oh what's wrong with you ?" lol. In their mind of course nothing....they just never lucky lol

Why are you there?

8 minutes ago, Kalorymetr said:

whatever the OP is used to, clearly not what he found here

50% overweight, 80% unhappy

 

 

1 hour ago, Denim said:

Doing nothing is a lot easier than doing something for people who live in the here and now. Buddhist training manifested into today's world. 

 

I saw this fine example of me me me mai pen rai at local Big C today :

 

1 truck = 3 spaces

 

 

As the Thai themselves say “แน่นอนที่สุด”…”Exactly”

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

Yeah funny that. They seem to never learn or grow. Never seem to be able to join the dots. Just keep repeating the same usually bad behavior, entitled ness, laziness etc over and over again and wonder why they cant maintain a relationship for very long. And when they do get a decent feller they take the pess.

Reason always ....man no good, get udder lady. When I hear that (over and over again) I always reply...."oh what's wrong with you ?" lol. In their mind of course nothing....they just never lucky lol

I know Thais married 40 years. Dont know any westerners like that, all dead.

The core of the issue here is face.

 

Preparedness requires planning.  Effective planning requires swot analysis.  But Thais will not call out or identify weakness or fault because doing so would result in loss of face.

 

Continuous improvement is a legislated requirement in many western countries.  But it also falls over here because the starting point is to indentify problems.  Lose of face gets in the way here also.