Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[BritManToo]

Just now, bob smith said:

Thats very true.

they have zero respect for the women they ‘bang’ though….

How much respect do you think they have for their wife?

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

How much respect do you think they have for their wife?

About the same as i do for mine? I bang hookers every chance that i get! 

[phetpeter]

Na! Sex is sex, wife is wife. only in western culture are the two woven together. Asia thankfully one is for pleasure and relief, and the other for commitment for life.

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, bignok said:

7/11 girls earn peanuts. Winners?

Winners because they are working an honest job for a living instead of selling their bodies for money. Something no normal woman will do. People choose to marry women who have slept with many, many men. Men they wouldn't look at unless the wallet is opened. That sex is going to get routine eventually, as it always does, and when you have a true friend in a wife, it still has meaning, and continues to bond the two together.                                                                                                                           With a bar girl, when the man gets into that routine thing, that woman isn't going to look as good as before, because she wasn't a partner and friend from the start, but a purchase. He will get bored, and look elsewhere, because what keeps two together, besides trust, is friendship more than anything else. To her, he was just a john, even if she marries him, he will always be in a long list of many. There are women who sleep with a lot of men that aren't hookers, and their mentality is the same, with the exception of money exchanged.                                                                                                                                                                          Sex is supposed to be something that bonds two together, and the amount is usually an indication of how the relationship is going, at least until the man hits 70 or so, where it's not as important as before.When that sex loses it's charm, as it inevitably does, what's left in the relationship? If there isn't a friendship, there isn't a bond. There was only a transaction.

[OneMoreFarang]

I think it's almost funny when many guys here write about problems with wives who worked previously in bars.

Sure, there are problems in some of those relationships. But what about "normal" relationships. Are all educated couples with good jobs happily ever after? I know enough guys who married a good girl and later they divorced.

Problems happen in all relationships, not just when the woman was working in a bar. 

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think it's almost funny when many guys here write about problems with wives who worked previously in bars.

Sure, there are problems in some of those relationships. But what about "normal" relationships. Are all educated couples with good jobs happily ever after? I know enough guys who married a good girl and later they divorced.

Problems happen in all relationships, not just when the woman was working in a bar. 

Why would you marry a woman that used to ride sausage for a living??

 

it baffles me!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

About the same as i do for mine? I bang hookers every chance that i get! 

And then you expect that they do it for free because somehow you pretend you didn't know they were hookers, correct?

You should try to remember what you wrote in this forum. You constantly contradict yourself. 

[fredwiggy]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Interestingly, most middle class Thai men I meet all have a suitable age Thai wife at home, and bang 20yo Thai hookers on the side. 

One, of a few more, real reasons they look to foreigners to marry when they or the man leaves. Their reputation I heard about when I was a few years out of high school.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, bob smith said:

Why would you marry a woman that used to ride sausage for a living??

 

it baffles me!

Maybe she is good at it.

And if you dislike hookers so much, why do you frequent them all the time? 

[Vibora99]

It's not about you getting married or going to live together. It's about the fact that even if they are bar girls they are a thousand times one hundred better than a Westerner (who are much more speculators and sluts), the difference is that Thai women are direct Westerners plan for the long term. Have you ever dated a divorced Westerner? The first month they give you sex, the second month you are paying for the electricity, the telephone, the son's school, the supermarket- the excuse is that her ex-husband does not give her the pension ????). In summary, it is better to pay 10,000 baths here and not 6000 euros in Europe….

[bob smith]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe she is good at it.

And if you dislike hookers so much, why do you frequent them all the time? 

Smashing them and binning them is one thing. Marrying them is quite another.

 

I would expect you, as the expert you seem to be, to know the difference! 

Edited August 7, 2023 by bob smith

[Hummin]

26 minutes ago, bob smith said:

Any girl that ends up working as a bar girl is, in the eyes of Thai society, a loser.

 

all real thai women and men say the same.

It is a saying about people who look down on others, and feel sorry for your wife and what she have to struggle with. 

[fredwiggy]

13 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And that's my point.

It seems many people who can afford a maid and nanny have them. And then the parents go to work and make money and the nanny takes care of the children.

Now, are these nannies who are professionals who are trained to take care of children? Or is it more likely that the rich parents hire someone cheap?

 

Latchkey children, when they are old enough to take care of themselves somewhat, are all over, including the USA. Here, the difference is the amount that are raised by grandmas, from birth until that time. Rich people are much of the time too busy to spend time with their kids, which is one reason they shouldn't have them. Money doesn't make for a stable child into adult being. It just spoils by buying their love. Those kinds think the world revolves around them. What happens here, with absent fathers, which is usually the case, is boys growing up to be hoodlums, looking more at their peers for how they should act, ganging up on others 5 against 1, getting involved in gangs and hard drugs, and robbing others, and girls looking for that absent dad in a spineless, unemployed before mentioned loser, getting pregnant, then giving the child to grandma and leaving to work elsewhere, repeating the same patterns they saw growing up., generation after generation.

[nickmondo]

the more i read here, the more i realise that most of you have no idea what your talking about.

You cannot tar all bar girls with the same brush.

Why are they bar girls?

Are they bad because they work in a bar?

Or are they using what assets they have to take care of their families?

The vast majority of them are normal girls, who are doing the work to make as much money as they can before their looks go bad.

Yes, they can appear ruthless, but they do all they need to do to make the money for their family.

Unlike some people on here, I do know the bar girl business inside out, having experienced it from the other side of the bar so to speak

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, Vibora99 said:

It's not about you getting married or going to live together. It's about the fact that even if they are bar girls they are a thousand times one hundred better than a Westerner (who are much more speculators and sluts), the difference is that Thai women are direct Westerners plan for the long term. Have you ever dated a divorced Westerner? The first month they give you sex, the second month you are paying for the electricity, the telephone, the son's school, the supermarket- the excuse is that her ex-husband does not give her the pension ????). In summary, it is better to pay 10,000 baths here and not 6000 euros in Europe….

Actually the difference isn't that you pay more for one or the other. You always pay. It's called providing. With a bar girl, the difference is you're paying for the sex, and not dating. When you get married, it's providing for either. Your mind has to deal with the fact she's been with so many. If you're okay with that, and truly okay, then it doesn't matter. The fact still remains. She will never see you as a special man, but just one of the many. Sex has a way of doing that to a mind. Sex is supposed to be a gift for two to share. Intimacy is supposed to be given for love. When the world cheapened it as a transaction, there went the normal thinking and looking at women as objects to perform instead of to make love to.                                                                               Saying bar girls are thousands of times better than a normal western girl is as ridiculous a statement as I've ever heard. What makes a woman better is moral thinking, a nurturer as a mother who doesn't give her children away to be seen many years later, when someone else raised them. Looking at her man as a partner and not an ATM. As a protector and not her pimp, who doesn't give a <deleted> besides what she earns him. I've had maybe a hundred western woman as dates or lovers, and not one asked me for money. Here it's understood that you give them money. Most of us don't mind, as long as it's not true greed and the family doesn't hold us to it because we are with their daughters. Some appreciate it and say thank you when they receive it, no matter the amount. In the US, you are expected to provide after you're married. If you decide to help them before, that's okay, and should be appreciated and not expected. Dating, you share expenses, as women there are more independent. Women are sluts everywhere. That's the ones a normal man avoids, along with the mentally ill. Only brings heartaches. When I dated western women, the sex was always given, as long as the relationship lasted. That's because they look at you as a man, and not an ATM. Here, it's the opposite in many cases.

[FritsSikkink]

On 8/5/2023 at 2:29 PM, bob smith said:

why take your chance on a poor, uneducated daughter of a peasant farmer when you can have a well educated woman with a good job. 

 

I think thats the point im trying to make anyway..

So why are you picking up girls in a bar and bring them to Koh Changy?

[Headgame]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:46 AM, bob smith said:

mrs smith has never asked me for a single penny. in fact, quite the oposite, she pays 80% of the time we go out..

 

Amazing what you can find when you open your eyes a bit, isnt it? ???? 

You’re hilarious dude. Of course she pays 80% of the time. Anything she has to do to keep her Bob.

[FritsSikkink]

On 8/5/2023 at 6:37 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Good post.

And even if the girls have a half decent education and a job, many of those jobs don't have a good salary.

One of my favorite bar girls was an accountant. Before she worked in a bar she worked in accounting. According to her she had 16k salary. Not enough to pay for a decent school for her son. So she looked for a sponsor and found one in a bar. 

Being an accountant is different as working in accounting. An accountant earns way more than 16K.

[Goat]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Probably a doctor who hires a (cheap) girl from up country to take care of her kids...

And actually lives with the kid.

The Pattaya hooker leaves their kids in the sticks with grandma or an an Aunt, rarely even bothering to call them.

Terrible parents most of them.

[Goat]

11 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Saying bar girls are thousands of times better than a normal western girl is as ridiculous a statement as I've ever heard.

I have said it before these blokes are completly deluded. 

[Goat]

31 minutes ago, nickmondo said:

but they do all they need to do to make the money for their family.

And drugs, and booze, and gambling, and shopping and to give to their giks.

Sending the money to the family/ vet for the sick buffalo. All BS.

[OneMoreFarang]

38 minutes ago, bob smith said:

Smashing them and binning them is one thing. Marrying them is quite another.

 

I would expect you, as the expert you seem to be, to know the difference! 

Thanks for your confidence.

 

In my personal experience with bargirls, they are absolutely not all the same.

Some of them are f$#$ and forget - and they think exactly the same.

Some are nice girls. Some of those nice girls are also fun in bed. And some are girlfriend material.

Some are obviously damaged.

When I meet girls in bars, I keep an open mind. Let them talk and normally it doesn't take too long to get an impression of who they are and what they want. They are definitely not all the same. And obviously they change over time. The new innocent from last week is soon not so innocent anymore.

 

 

[Goat]

41 minutes ago, Vibora99 said:

Have you ever dated a divorced Westerner?

 

Yes a few. They usually get one night per week off and every second weekend and are hanging out for a good seeing too.

41 minutes ago, Vibora99 said:

 

The first month they give you sex, the second month you are paying for the electricity, the telephone, the son's school, the supermarket

Er, nah. 

Only a sucker would do that. The sort of sucker who would believe they were in a "relationship" with a thai whore and not see himself as she seems him. A good customer.

[FritsSikkink]

On 8/6/2023 at 1:53 PM, fredwiggy said:

From what little we read here, if that's indeed true, Bob found a real woman who pays her own way, which means she looks at him as a partner and not an ATM, like much else that men find here. 

You shouldn't believe everything what has been written here. 

[Kwasaki]

On 8/5/2023 at 6:37 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Good post.

And even if the girls have a half decent education and a job, many of those jobs don't have a good salary.

One of my favorite bar girls was an accountant. Before she worked in a bar she worked in accounting. According to her she had 16k salary. Not enough to pay for a decent school for her son. So she looked for a sponsor and found one in a bar. 

Good post too, many here have closed minds and they don't understand some life situations for girls/women in Thailand.

[NextG]

1 hour ago, Vibora99 said:

It's not about you getting married or going to live together. It's about the fact that even if they are bar girls they are a thousand times one hundred better than a Westerner (who are much more speculators and sluts), the difference is that Thai women are direct Westerners plan for the long term. Have you ever dated a divorced Westerner? The first month they give you sex, the second month you are paying for the electricity, the telephone, the son's school, the supermarket- the excuse is that her ex-husband does not give her the pension ????). In summary, it is better to pay 10,000 baths here and not 6000 euros in Europe….

This is what I meant by ‘ugly men’…

[spidermike007]

Well, we all seem to have a very different definition of what girlfriend is, or is not. I hear some men or women talk about being in love with someone after knowing them two weeks. All that is, is anxiety, impatience, and the intense desire to be in love. Some are more in love with the idea of being in love, than with the person they are with. I think for most of us who are emotionally healthy, the idea of taking one's time to really get to know someone, is alot more informative and desirable, than just losing oneself in the moment. 

 

I have seen countless men lose their fortunes, or at least their financial stability here, by moving too fast, assuming she is someone she definitely is not, and projecting too much onto someone they have not bothered to really get to know, and allowing the woman to push the agenda. Always push back against a timeline. Always. It is far better to lose the woman, than to unnecessarily lose your money and feel like a fool.

 

With bar girls, freelancers or pros, the important thing is to know what you are getting into. Many of us think there is a sort of sliding scale of damage. Up to 150 men, no big deal. 150-500 men she is experienced, but will be fine.

 

500-1000 men is approaching the point where there might be some damage.

 

1000-2000 men, and there is likely to be long term bitterness towards men. 2000 men and over is (ATW) what we refer to as around the world. Little chance of being able to engage emotionally in a healthy manner, ever again. There are likely exceptions. But not many.

 

Easily. Yes, over the course of many years? I personally know women who earn a million baht a year. I have known women who have had six boyfriends, who sent them a total of 100,000 baht per month. I also know a gal who worked in Singapore at a brothel. She was stunning. She earned 3 million baht cash, all clear, in 16 months. Took it all home. Build a gorgeous house, started a business, and is totally independent financially. To this day. That was several years ago. All good. Do not know how she relates to men at this point. And I doubt she will ever be capable of a healthy relationship, after 3,000 men or more, in my estimation. But, she did establish herself. I give her credit for that.

 

 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I have seen countless men lose their fortunes, or at least their financial stability here, by moving too fast,

Nothing to do with moving too fast.

All to do with men giving up possession of their assets.

[Goat]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

Smashing them and binning them is one thing. Marrying them is quite another.

And breeding with them is another thing again.

 

Thats who I really feel sorry for the most.

 

Socially challenged foreign father with autism, sociopathy or the like with a damaged mother. What hope do the kids have?

 

Perhaps universally around the world the worst insult you can give to somebody is "Your mother is a whore" 

 

When it is actually true and not just an insult it is a whole new level again.

 

[fredwiggy]

45 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You shouldn't believe everything what has been written here. 

You can tell from what I write that is hardly the case. I mentioned being a big reader of psychology, for 30 years. that doesn't equate to naive.