American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[Straight8]

19 hours ago, Adumbration said:

Sigh....some guy with a fake account on Reddit posts some fictional click bait story and gets a pathetic 300 replies and now we are expected to chime in on this thread.

 

How utterly depressing the content on this forum has become.

And yet here you are?  ????

[Deli]

20 hours ago, snoop1130 said:

 

An American man asked netizens for advice on what to do after his Thai girlfriend’s family demanded a million baht dowry, known as sinsod in Thailand. He said he loved her very much but was not a foolish farang.

 

The American shared his story on the social media platform Reddit yesterday, September 12. The man began by explaining that he was dating a Thai university student from a province in the Isaan region of Thailand. He expected that his girlfriend did not make much money from her career after graduation but her parents are middle class and own a shipping company.

 

The parents asked the foreign man to give them 1 million baht as a dowry, half of which would go to his fiancée after the wedding ceremony and the other half would be kept by the parents for safekeeping.

 

The American added that the amount was not negotiable whereas his girlfriend believed that the amount was reasonable because they had to show the dowry during the wedding ceremony.

 

The foreign man concluded his post by stating that he would be departing Thailand in two weeks and might not return, leading him to decide to end the relationship.

 

The post garnered over 300 comments from Reddit users. Some individuals online suggested that the dowry served as a form of security for the woman, as her parents might have been concerned that a foreigner would eventually abandon her. Others believed that the parents simply wanted to ensure that the man could provide for their daughter.

 

Some advised the man to end the relationship, as he might end up having to provide even more for the woman and her family in the future. However, the majority of netizens recommended that he should approach his girlfriend and her parents honestly, informing them that he would not pay the dowry, rather than leaving without any explanation.

 

By Petch Petpailin

Captioon: Photo by Ben Stephenson via Flickr

 

Full Story: https://thethaiger.com/news/national/american-man-faces-dilemma-as-thai-girlfriends-parents-demand-1-million-baht-dowry

 

-- The Thaiger 2023-09-13

 

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Run Forrest, run !

[bignok]

21 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

RIP Thai Visa.....

When was it good?

[transam]

1 hour ago, FruitPudding said:

There are so many points in this that are a lot of rubbish.

 

Firstly, if it's only paid for virgins, a dowry would be rarer than a lightning strike.

Also, the virgin part of the tradition makes it sound like prostitution, no? 

 

Why the sexual element to the tradition?

 

Sounds a bit like what I was saying. You are proving my point for me, Tranny. ???? Cheers.

 

The rest of it just sounds like hell and also a lot of excuses to use their daughter to extract money out of a bloke.

 

Typical.

 

No, not about virgins, it is about getting married for the first time, but being deemed a virgin, I would have thought, was being polite, perhaps you can't understand that...

 

It is OK if you don't understand the Sin Sod tradition, many thicko's dan't. ????

 

There are many blokes who will not get married, or tie the knot, either they haven't got the "balls" or they need mum at arms length.

 

Others are just skint yobbo's, who can't get a leg over where they come from, you know, the ones who come on here moaning about paying a few quid to the brides parents.

 

As for your moaning, let us know what category you are in, perhaps one not mentioned, perhaps just "tight"...????

 

[transam]

1 hour ago, JoseThailand said:

Because traditionally, a sinsot was payed for virgins.

Really, how did they prove that..............????

[FruitPudding]

13 minutes ago, transam said:

No, not about virgins, it is about getting married for the first time, but being deemed a virgin, I would have thought, was being polite, perhaps you can't understand that...

Did you read the details in the link you posted? Cos I didn't know it was about that until you posted that information.

 

13 minutes ago, transam said:

 

It is OK if you don't understand the Sin Sod tradition, many thicko's dan't. ????

 

There are many blokes who will not get married, or tie the knot, either they haven't got the "balls" or they need mum at arms length.

Maybe, they aren't stupid.

 

They can just have a live-in GF without the risk that comes with marriage.

 

13 minutes ago, transam said:

Others are just skint yobbo's, who can't get a leg over where they come from, you know, the ones who come on here moaning about paying a few quid to the brides parents.

It's a million baht, not a few quid.

 

13 minutes ago, transam said:

As for your moaning, let us know what category you are in, perhaps one not mentioned, perhaps just "tight"...

 

Happily single.

 

And not moaning. Just having a laugh at the " sin sod" - even the word sounds nasty. You'd think they could have a nicer sounding word for it, ????

[jacko45k]

Just now, FruitPudding said:

Maybe, they aren't stupid.

 

They can just have a live-in GF without the risk that comes with marriage.

Yes I was a bit miffed to told 'I haven't got the balls', or I am a 'skint yobbo', when I simply feel I don't need my living arrangements to be condoned by others and certified by silly religious ceremonies.....  it kept me away from difficult situations/decisions like sinsod too!

[transam]

6 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

Did you read the details in the link you posted? Cos I didn't know it was about that until you posted that information.

 

Maybe, they aren't stupid.

 

They can just have a live-in GF without the risk that comes with marriage.

 

It's a million baht, not a few quid.

 

Happily single.

 

And not moaning. Just having a laugh at the " sin sod" - even the word sounds nasty. You'd think they could have a nicer sounding word for it, ????

Think you are just laughing at others because of your fear of something, perhaps females in general, I/we don't know what your real hang ups are.........????

After all, in our home countries, getting wed costs money, setting up home, costs money, much more than in LOS even with Sin Sod......????

[thailand49]

I have lots of questions to give a proper answer I've read only one page not going to drain my battery reading all 12, but from the story comments and suggestions are all valid. 

As a Chinese American born and raise 1st generation been here over 15 years married to a Thai even longer and live amongst them. 

I'm not a believer in the sin sot but I'm very aware of it and being Chinese my parents and family  old school know first hand about a man marrying their daughter got to take care of business. 

The statistic is what you lucky 50% worldwide IMHO even tougher if you live here and the spouse have very little association with the West form of thinking.

 

I've been to a number of Thai wedding from the celebration I would conclude they were all middle class.  The girl family got 100,000 baht and a nice ceremony. I'm more of in the camp would the family be demanding million baht from a Thai man?  The word demand if that is true comes across like the Supreme Court that foreigners should pay more at hospitals because we can. If this is the parents and daughter position it won't end there.  Only the ops know I myself pay a lot of attention to what is said in daily general conversation if for example he was having a conversation about buying a used car she or they have a negative view. He talks Toyota she talks BMW,  these are all major signs to me. 

 

We all think we are men how much of one are you? I don't doubt you love her if you were in America would you walk too?  

 

Conversation aren't taught here I don't suggest running so stand up and be a man.  First. sit with your GF have the conversation with her somehow I feel this has never happened if you don't have it tell her the truth but reality you got to give something if she and parents feel you the right guy regardless of skin color it can be worked out so no one loves face. 

If GF can't except it then let her make the decision to call it off then. If she loved you she will have the guts to take you along and sit with them and break the truth to them you can get on the plane knowing you man up. 

 

[xtrnuno41]

Is that all? long time ago had contact with Thai lady and she told me I could marry her, if I would buy back the house her father lost, only 3.2 million baht. She was not good in English, but could made that very clear. ♫ Ole, ole ole ole we are the champions, we are the champions♫

[BTB1977]

I would tell the parents you will need at least 10 years to save up that much cash and continue to date her and live  together for the next 10 years. Or I'm sure there are many thai guys that would love to have her for that much money. Good luck and see ya later.  

[Jelli]

I paid 200k. There was no demand and I considered it a gift not sinsod. Everything was returned to me after the wedding which I then gave 200k to my in-laws

 

The family has been gold. Both her parents are hard-working and in their 70s. No one has bothered me for money in nearly 15 yrs

[pedro01]

I paid sin sod - basically enough to cover the price of the wedding - which was a blast in Isaan.

 

We had a mor lam band playing on a stage in a rice field - and the wedding ended in gunfire. Epic.

 

Still married 16 years later...

Edited September 14, 2023 by pedro01

[Jelli]

28 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

GF without the risk that comes with marriage.

Gf is not the same as a wife. You're bound by love and law or it's just fk and forget in slow motion. One of you will leave it's just a matter of time

[DrPhibes]

Paid 210,000 baht sin sot in 2000 for my wife, my offering.  Paid about $400 for a feast (and hangovers) for the village in the depths of Issan, including a cow we all ate.  Best investment I ever made ????

[kimothai]

Thai dowry is nothing more than proof that the marriage is 100% about money and 0% about love.  Seems more like extortion to me.  Walk away, walk away.

[SoilSpoil]

4 hours ago, BenStark said:

Nothing to do with being cool, only some evidence about the kind of desperate idiots that come here to find a wife.

 

Maybe, you're one of them?

An idiot I have been on many occasions, but desperate never. What I have always tried, however, is to be nice and respectful of others. You should try the same, as your post is quite an insult and most likely driven by an enormous sense of self hate. Relax man, life is too beautiful to call other people desperate idiots. .

[Straight8]

15 hours ago, TConthePC said:

My guess is that it could be the other way round. The parents own a small shipping company and want to make sure that he has the funds to not leech off of them.

If that were the case, then they would have said they would return the full amount to the couple (ie. both of them), but no, instead, half to his girlfriend (maybe future wife) which I would presume would either be kept by the parents for safe keeping or in a Bank account in her name only, and the other half would be held by the parents. Which leave sweet FA for the groom.

 

Yeah fduck that deal.

[Straight8]

12 hours ago, BestB said:

There is another explanation , which is parents don not like him and don not approve of him and hence why asked for large amount and not negotiable 

Doubt they'll let this fish off the hook that easy.

 

Makes no sense to not try and milk the proverbial cow.

 

 

[ThaiFelix]

21 hours ago, transam said:

Why do I get the feeling you're not what you make out to be...........

because hes on here lol!

[impulse]

1 hour ago, Deli said:

Run Forrest, run !

Consensus in the Thai blogosphere is:  Forget about Forrest, run Jenny, run.

 

[ThaiFelix]

Geez.....hiccup!.....I hope that includes the bar fine?

[Umlungu]

The American's parents should ask the woman to cough up 2mb. 

[Umlungu]

1 hour ago, Straight8 said:

Doubt they'll let this fish off the hook that easy.

 

Makes no sense to not try and milk the proverbial cow.

 

 

Negotiable? You always barter at the pig and camel markets

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Straight8 said:

If that were the case, then they would have said they would return the full amount to the couple (ie. both of them), but no, instead, half to his girlfriend (maybe future wife) which I would presume would either be kept by the parents for safe keeping or in a Bank account in her name only, and the other half would be held by the parents. Which leave sweet FA for the groom.

 

Yeah fduck that deal.

You misssed the new top of the line Benz or BM for the MIL.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Jelli said:

I paid 200k. There was no demand and I considered it a gift not sinsod. Everything was returned to me after the wedding which I then gave 200k to my in-laws

 

The family has been gold. Both her parents are hard-working and in their 70s. No one has bothered me for money in nearly 15 yrs

Good News.

 

It can go both ways, older brother of my Thai son's Thai wife asked for 500,000Baht for him to bank ready to pay for my funeral, 5 days of ceremonies, numerous monks, big Chinese style banquet, dancing girls, big fancy big packs of food and drinks for funeral attendees to take home.

 

All with the purpose of making her family look important / rich. Plus he planned to amke a list of all family members to eceive a gift of 100,000Baht cash.

 

My Thai son intervened and personally told all rellies it's a scam to get your full correct name, address, phone no etc.

 

Son got the name list and ripped it up where many could see. 

 

Big brother quickly went into hiding for several months. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by scorecard

[GinBoy2]

22 hours ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

The normal solution for this kind of demand, for Thais and farangs alike, is to negotiate with the parents for the family to put up the sinsod for show at the wedding ceremony, and then take the money back themselves once the ceremony is done. That way, face is satisfied.

 

The fact the Redditor involved is apparently unaware that such arrangements are common here is seemingly a bad sign for his familiarity with Thailand and Thai customs.

 

Of course, the daughter could instead end up with a Thai husband up in Isan, who like too many stories reported in the news here over the years, will repeatedly cheat on her with other women, do drugs and drink to excess, become insanely jealous, and ultimately beat/attack her causing serious bodily harm.

 

But hey, it's their daughter, and the parents can decide.

 

 

Thats exactly what we did.

 

MrsG's parents are long dead, but we still played the game.

 

She went to the bank, pulled out a couple of million in cash.

 

Did all the 'for show' stuff, then next day put it back in the bank.

 

In movie terms; 'no one was hurt in the making of this movie' and everyone came away happy

[Scott Tracy]

Well, I would have been able to 'support' her, but the parents stole 500,000 baht to support their lifestyle.

[Drop the dead donkey]

This post has received 12 pages of replies.

to be honest with you, it is just bait journalism.

Who cares about other people’s lives to this extent. 
I read the first page, and realise that the bait has been taken.

[SOTIRIOS]

...Sadly Making It Too Clear...

...Nothing About Love...

 

...It's Not The Amount...It's The Attitude...

...Foreigners Have Very Little Rights To Begin With... 

...The Parental Imposition Would Definitely 'Seal His Fate'...

 

...What About His Wants...Needs...Future...

...Clearly Irrelevant...

...Yuck...