the wai

[JimTripper]

I just return the wai because I don't feel of higher status. What the other person thinks does not matter🤔.

 

If you don't return the wai you're accepting higher status in the situation or relationship. Sometimes I won't return it if it's clear I'm a customer because it's obvious I'm being served, or if it's the doorman or similar, but in regular interactions it's risky too not wai back and would most likely be seen as lack of respect. Kind of like in the Usa if someone offered a handshake and you just stood there 🤣.

Edited December 15, 2023 by JimTripper

[richard_smith237]

16 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   Ohhhwwww ,  Mr Nice and  polite and respectful Wai ing everyone can be rather unpleasant and rude and abusive on line .

 

No... I don't wai 'everyone'... thats your exaggeration as an attempt to point score in this discussion... as was the suggestion that you might need to go to school to learn how to Wai... 

 

I have responded to your ridiculous response with a ridiculous hyperbolae...  Of course you are not 'incapable' of learning from your surroundings.... in fact there are very few people who are...  Ergo - those who refuse to learn from their surroundings are being deliberately ignorant. 

 

 

Thus - if you want an intelligent discussion on the subject, respond with intelligent remarks then you won't get so butt hurt or offended by a response-in-kind to a comment that is less than sensible. 

 

 

 

 

[roo860]

57 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

 

I trust your pith helmet has a chin strap.

Are you taking the pith, or what? of course it has.

Edited December 15, 2023 by roo860

[Nick Carter icp]

9 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

No... I don't wai 'everyone'... thats your exaggeration as an attempt to point score in this discussion... as was the suggestion that you might need to go to school to learn how to Wai... 

 

I have responded to your ridiculous response with a ridiculous hyperbolae...  Of course you are not 'incapable' of learning from your surroundings.... in fact there are very few people who are...  Ergo - those who refuse to learn from their surroundings are being deliberately ignorant. 

 

 

Thus - if you want an intelligent discussion on the subject, respond with intelligent remarks then you won't get so butt hurt or offended by a response-in-kind to a comment that is less than sensible. 

 

 

 

 

 

   You may think that you are being  clever Waiing and being Thaier than thou and fitting in with the locals , but you just look stupid Waiing . 

   I am a felang and I don't want to be Thai and I don't want to act like a Thai either .

 

[roo860]

It's been quite a long time since we've had this topic, the old I'm more Thai than you boll@x.

[Ben Zioner]

Don't think it is all that important.

 

Sometime I wai only with the left hand, when I am picking my nose. Or only the right hand when I am scratching my anus. 

[Pouatchee]

for most of us here, in los, we shake hands back home. i don't shake everyones hand, it always depends on who they are in relation to me. here, in los, i actually had to take a waiing class as part of the induction at one of the schools i worked at. so, no i do not wai everyone and how high i put my hands together to wai depends on who i am waiing. when i see my elder neighbors i always wai them just like i would shake hands back home. other than that, if someone younger politely wais me first i usually wai back. if i meet my wifes family and they are older i will usually wai first. i dont usually wai people in the service industry rather, as i was taught, i will politely smile back.

 

it really isnt easy to know when to wai and who to wai. had i not had a class on this i also would prolly be confused like my friends who visit here and wai everyone they see including their shadows. for me a nice wai is like an honest handshake. you can tell a lot from a handshake and from a wai

 

[Morch]

I wai and don't think about it much....

 

To older people in Mrs. Morch's family when we meet, to older people in the village if I notice them and my hands are free. I get wai'd all the time - usually wai back as well.

 

As for looking silly/making mistakes, that's the joy of being a foreigner. People don't care that much, it may amuse them and they'll usually correct you in a nice manner (or let it pass). That was more beginner stuff, back when. 

 

The real deal is knowing when not to wai, not to return a wai and when to ignore a wai directed at yourself. Insulting, Thai style, is interesting to master.

Edited December 15, 2023 by Morch

[Andre0720]

I never wai. I never say Khap either.

I believe that these contribute to the total selfishness of this culture.

Never seen people in any country as selfish as the people here.

If it happens, there is a reason.

So I have been looking for what is different from other cultures here. Certainly Buddhism is not the cause of this selfishness.

Then I started pointing a finger at something else that could explain it....

[NoDisplayName]

Wai not.

[JimTripper]

11 minutes ago, Andre0720 said:

I never wai. I never say Khap either.

I believe that these contribute to the total selfishness of this culture.

Never seen people in any country as selfish as the people here.

If it happens, there is a reason.

So I have been looking for what is different from other cultures here. Certainly Buddhism is not the cause of this selfishness.

Then I started pointing a finger at something else that could explain it....

I say Khap all the time, but I can't figure out why they don't bring coffee.

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   You may think that you are being  clever Waiing and being Thaier than thou and fitting in with the locals , but you just look stupid Waiing . 

   I am a felang and I don't want to be Thai and I don't want to act like a Thai either .

 

The ignorant can never accept their ignorance - you have provided a perfect example.  
 

I will never be Thai, I don’t want to be either, but that does not mean I should remain ignorant. 
 

It seems you think being polite means someone thinks they are being clever & attempting to be Thaier thou (no idea what you mean there)…

 

But you are so very wrong… perhaps you have a superiority complex & believe Thai culture is beneath you ? 
 

Have you learnt to speak Thai ?

Do you believe learning to speak Thai implies someone is trying to be Thaier than Thai ???

 

 

[richard_smith237]

59 minutes ago, Andre0720 said:

I never wai. I never say Khap either.

I believe that these contribute to the total selfishness of this culture.

Never seen people in any country as selfish as the people here.

If it happens, there is a reason.

So I have been looking for what is different from other cultures here. Certainly Buddhism is not the cause of this selfishness.

Then I started pointing a finger at something else that could explain it....

Erm…  I’d be looking in the mirror if all I witnessed in Thailand were selfishness…. 
 

Thats completely alien to my experience here of over two decades.

 

To label a whole nation selfish is more suggestive of the flaws of the person making the comment than anything else. 
 

“I never do this, never do that, refuse to do this & that…. “ etc etc…. 

& you never wondered why your experience is negative? 

 

There are some rather unintelligent people commenting on this thread… 

[Andre0720]

32 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Erm…  I’d be looking in the mirror if all I witnessed in Thailand were selfishness…. 
 

Thats completely alien to my experience here of over two decades.

 

To label a whole nation selfish is more suggestive of the flaws of the person making the comment than anything else. 
 

“I never do this, never do that, refuse to do this & that…. “ etc etc…. 

& you never wondered why your experience is negative? 

 

There are some rather unintelligent people commenting on this thread… 

Well open your eyes for a change.

Otherwise I would have again to educate people on the culture here, including yourself so it appears

[Nick Carter icp]

Just had to Wai the Bank assistant twice , both did it half heartedly and not much effort into it and just going through the motions 

[scorecard]

4 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   OK, just for you , I will go and Wai the girl in 7/11 when I go later for some beer 

Strange reaction, doesn't align at all to what was said to you in the previous post. 

[sungod]

3 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   You may think that you are being  clever Waiing and being Thaier than thou and fitting in with the locals , but you just look stupid Waiing . 

   I am a felang and I don't want to be Thai and I don't want to act like a Thai either .

 

 

I dont know mate, you are doing a pretty good job of looking stupid all on your own on this thread. 'Wai ing' seems to be the least of your worries :)

[gargamon]

4 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

..   No Canadaian complains about foreigners / immigrants who move to Canada and don't attempt to adapt to the local culture ?

 

Only in Quebec. 

[stoner]

1 minute ago, gargamon said:

Only in Quebec. 

 

gold jerry ..gold.

[1FinickyOne]

16 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

In any foreign culture, isn't is better to try and be polite

100% - absolutely so. And so easily done. 

 

Knowing when to Wai is not difficult nor is returning a wai, no matter who offers it to you... for me, being older than dust, it is mostly just a matter of returning a wai...

 

What I don't like is shaking someone's germy hand as Westerners often do.. I understand that it is polite to cover your mouth when coughing, but then a few minutes later, shake someones hand?? Not for me. 

[1FinickyOne]

15 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

You Wai other foreigners ???

Yes - - only to avoid shaking hands - - a disgusting custom... 

[rwill]

Do you shake hands in other countries or refuse to do that too?

 

Anyway a wai is more sanitary than a handshake.  Even in handshakes some use it to try to show dominance.  Like squeezing extra hard or not giving you a proper grip.

 

My Thai friends often want hugs too.

[stoner]

6 minutes ago, rwill said:

Do you shake hands in other countries or refuse to do that too?

 

Anyway a wai is more sanitary than a handshake.  Even in handshakes some use it to try to show dominance.  Like squeezing extra hard or not giving you a proper grip.

 

My Thai friends often want hugs too.

 

what about the one handed embrace with a half bro hug ?

[Srikcir]

16 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Its seems there are two distinct groups in this...

 

Those who refuse to wai and think a nod suffices, that foreigners are never expected to wai etc... 

& those who are happy to adapt and learn, and make simple efforts to be respectful....

 

It seems the ignorant and impolite will stretch to numerous reasons as to why they should not wai...  I wonder if these same people complain of immigrants in our home countries not adapting to the mannerisms and polite socail mores or our own countries. 

I do not respect elitism and throw back to class discrimination. It's origin stems from a 1600's absolute monarchy supported by hi-so society class and has no place in a modern democracy where everyone is equal. 

[smokie36]

Her mother gets a wai as a greeting....no one else at all.

[actonion]

17 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I always say please and Thank you when necessary and a bow or a nod of the head when needed 

The Wai is also  used to say sorry  too when the accused has just Murdered someone, or killed them in a road accident, Rape, etc  so for me it has no real meaning, like the Thai guy who rear ended me  at 45 mph while  using his phone,  no insurance, but gave me a Wai,  he was told to pi$$ off 

[Lacessit]

I treat each instance on its merits.

The wai when I am a customer is automatic, I don't feel obligated to return it.

OTOH, if it is someone at a  professional level, or older than me, I do.

I don't initiate a wai, IMO it is not expected of me.

[Guderian]

21 hours ago, stoner said:

i find it strange personally even after 20 years of interaction with thai. the longer i stay here the less i wai.

 

I'm the opposite. When I first came to live here 20 years ago I knew very little about Thai culture and customs, so it would have been silly for me to wai. Over the decades, I've learnt quite a bit about matters Thai, both the language and the ways that they interact, with the occasional elbow in the ribs from the GF as an added explanation, lol. I know the three levels of wai, but as a non-Buddhist farang I try to limit myself to the basic version. I'm quite comfortable returning a wai in the right circumstances, but I seldom initiate one. I find that, if you have a good idea what you're doing, the locals appreciate the gesture.

[NoshowJones]

21 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I always say please and Thank you when necessary and a bow or a nod of the head when needed 

When I was a school teacher, there was myself and three other westerners, a few Thai's, and a Chinese girl in the same staff room. Every morning the Chinese girl would walk in wai ing everybody at every desk she passed, watching her was like watching a duck waddling past.

[siftasam]

I always wai.

 

I didn't like shaking hands with my brothers at home in England. I didn't like to hug them either. It just didn't seem necessary. We were a 'close' family. I think it was a 'business thing', their meeting and greeting clients. I had already purposely rejected the idea of working for a business company.

 

There and wais and wais (as well as wais and wherefores! - hmm, pathetic, I know!). A young lady worked in a mobile phone shop in a Lamphun mall. She was wonderfully pretty and she knew that I was very attracted to her. I don't see any reason why she should have been flattered by this! - but I walked slowly past her shop window one day, hoping to see her, and she presented me with a most beautiful wai, slowly bending her legs in the most exquisite curtsey I've ever seen, shyly averting her eyes and slowly declining her head. She stayed in this most elegant position for several seconds. Perhaps she had learned this at a dance school or at a temple.

 

I was immensely charmed and flattered by such grace. Two weeks later she had left the shop and moved on. I never saw her again.