Separate Bed Rooms

[connda]

18 hours ago, charleskerins said:

Other relationship experts say it is a sign of a failing marriage.    

"Experts" don't know diddly.  "Experts" don't have a clue as to what I like and what I don't like

Things I Don't like about sleeping together:
Hot-body in bed with you when your hot and you can't get cool
Blanket hogs
Smelly-breath
Smelly-farts
Snoring
Wakes you up every time they get up
Someone else tossing and turning and keeping you awake
Your partner wants to watch TV/listen to radio - you want to sleep and vice-versa

Yeah - sleeping together is just a charm.  "Ppppppffftttt ZZzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz



 

[charleskerins]

6 minutes ago, connda said:

"Experts" don't know diddly.  "Experts" don't have a clue as to what I like and what I don't like

Things I Don't like about sleeping together:
Hot-body in bed with you when your hot and you can't get cool
Blanket hogs
Smelly-breath
Smelly-farts
Snoring
Wakes you up every time they get up
Someone else tossing and turning and keeping you awake
Your partner wants to watch TV/listen to radio - you want to sleep and vice-versa

Yeah - sleeping together is just a charm.  "Ppppppffftttt ZZzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz



Looks like they were right in your case. 555

 

[connda]

FYI.  Choosing to sleep separately is about maintaining personal space and personal comfort. 

Those with a social need to be pressed up against a warm body while in bed:
Some people are comfortable sleeping together and prefer it.  Fine and dandy.

Those without a social need to be pressed up against a warm body while in bed:
Some people are comfortable sleeping separately in separate beds and prefer it.  Fine and dandy.
Some people are comfortable sleeping separately in separate rooms and prefer.  Find and dandy.

[Elkski]

Had an American woman tell me early 9n in talks on a dat8ng site.   "I cant sleep in the same bed with anyone "

I politely told her that wont work. Bye. 

Have a buddy who says his rule is she is naked in bed. 

[FruitPudding]

6 hours ago, Thingamabob said:

Separate double beds, or separate rooms. Both work for us after 40 years. Quite ridiculous to judge the state of a relationship on this issue. Some couples will be best suited by sleeping in the same bed, others not. 

 

But in many cases, the elephant in the room is that you are just housemates - yet no doubt the husband foots the bill for everything......and technically he's still in a relationship so can't "cheat" or it'll be divorce. 

 

Weird setup.

[connda]

15 minutes ago, connda said:

"Experts" don't know diddly.  "Experts" don't have a clue as to what I like and what I don't like

Things I Don't like about sleeping together:
Hot-body in bed with you when your hot and you can't get cool
Blanket hogs
Smelly-breath
Smelly-farts
Snoring
Wakes you up every time they get up
Someone else tossing and turning and keeping you awake
Your partner wants to watch TV/listen to radio - you want to sleep and vice-versa

Yeah - sleeping together is just a charm.  "Ppppppffftttt ZZzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz
 

8 minutes ago, charleskerins said:

Looks like they were right in your case. 555

Nah.  Over my entire life I've been married about 35 years total and 15 years with my current wife.  Where I choose to sleep within my own home is a reflection of a health issue (chronic insomnia).  It has nothing to do with our relationship.

[khunPer]

There are some great benefits being a single...

[Chris Daley]

Thai women love to burn chemicals or ''mosquito repellent'', turn off the fan and aircon so the temperature shoots up to 40 degrees and play music all night.

 

Nothing wrong with that.

[Prubangboy]

2 hours ago, Elkski said:

Had an American woman tell me early 9n in talks on a dat8ng site.   "I cant sleep in the same bed with anyone "

I politely told her that wont work. Bye. 

Have a buddy who says his rule is she is naked in bed. 

Why is that a hard no for you?  Sleep disorders are a real thing. Women suffer them at twice the rate of men. Why'd the internet date lady say no to sharing a bed?

 

Screwing with someone's sleep is prob worse than screwing with their diet. Asking people to go with out sleep is like asking them to go without insulin.

 

Is it an intimacy issue for you? I sense it may be for your nude-insisting friend. Making people do what they don't want to is def an intimacy inhibitor.

 

You also have the 100% right to want what you want.

 

 

[Prubangboy]

2 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

 

But in many cases, the elephant in the room is that you are just housemates

I agree -barring a sleep disorder problem. This thread is about those people. But there may be other issues at play.

 

Sleeping apart or a partner withdrawing in other ways may be a sign of disengagement. The relationship is being re-written covertly (and possibly even unconsciously) without the offended partner's consent.

 

Maybe they feel powerless or are non-confrontational and this is their loophole to be at least a little free of you. Possibly, a sleep disorder is used as an excuse to withdraw. 'Def worth looking for other signs of sick-of-you. 

 

If she's checked out, her insomnia's realness is moot. And as Fruity says, if she's continuing to enjoy the benefits of the old relationship while edging into a new version that you don't like, that's unfair.

 

97% of the time, if you think that is what's going on, it is.

Edited December 23, 2023 by Prubangboy

[Spamhead]

Too many people talking about separate bedrooms when the OP has said separate bed rooms. Very different things !

[Lacessit]

I have always viewed separate bedrooms as the last step before total separation.

Separate beds? No way. A king size bed is better if a bit of separation is needed.

My GF and I have different reasons for sharing a bed.

When it is cold, I act as the source of warmth for her.

When we have mosquitoes, they head for her like bears to honey, and leave me alone.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 12/22/2023 at 4:47 PM, BritManToo said:

If it's gone that far I'd prefer to progress directly to separate homes.

I agree. If you ain't sleeping together, what the <deleted> is the point of being married?

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Separate beds? No way. A king size bed is better if a bit of separation is needed.

I refused to have a double bed with my wife. I like to cuddle when going to sleep and a double bed makes it too easy to opt out of that.

When she managed to put as much space between us as possible even in a single bed I knew it was over. The divorce came not long after.

 

Mind you, my wife was not a land whale, so there was room enough for both of us.

[Nick Carter icp]

35 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I refused to have a double bed with my wife. I like to cuddle when going to sleep and a double bed makes it too easy to opt out of that.

When she managed to put as much space between us as possible even in a single bed I knew it was over. The divorce came not long after.

 

Mind you, my wife was not a land whale, so there was room enough for both of us.

 

   You don't seem to care at all about the the woman wants and its all about what you want . 

Seems like you would have the same selfish mentality when banging them and its no wonder very few woman are attracted to you .

   You need to forget about getting a human female partner and get yourself a dog 

Edited December 24, 2023 by Nick Carter icp

[Lacessit]

5 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   You don't seem to care at all about the the woman wants and its all about what you want . 

Seems like you would have the same selfish mentality when banging them and its no wonder very few woman are attracted to you .

   You need to forget about getting a human female partner and get yourself a dog 

Who fed you the nasty pill today?

[Nick Carter icp]

6 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Who fed you the nasty pill today?

 

   He was acting in a selfish way , IMO its rather nasty to force woman to sleep in the same single bed as you if they don't want to  , and its no wonder he's single if that's how he treats females .

   The truth isn't always pleasant 

[Prubangboy]

10 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

 

   You need to forget about getting a human female partner and get yourself a dog 

I think of it more as an intimacy mismatch.

 

But time is the enemy of the would-be cuddlers. As women get older, a lot of them are on the change of life and being held by you feels like being chained to a furnace.

 

If you gotta cuddle, I can see getting one on the side who's still young enough to bear it. Male cuddlers outnumber women cuddlers by about 73 to 1.

[Rhys]

Separate rooms as well both Snore loudly and would keep each other aware..

[Prubangboy]

Men are more likely than women to be truly egregious snorers.

[BritManToo]

21 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   You don't seem to care at all about the the woman wants and its all about what you want . 

Seems like you would have the same selfish mentality when banging them and its no wonder very few woman are attracted to you .

   You need to forget about getting a human female partner and get yourself a dog 

 

Women don't know what they want, so why worry?

[Nick Carter icp]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

 

Women don't know what they want, so why worry?

 

They know that they don't want either you or TBL

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

They know that they don't want either you or TBL

I've got one already, and most of her pals would try to move in if she dropped the ball.

[Lacessit]

44 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

I think of it more as an intimacy mismatch.

 

But time is the enemy of the would-be cuddlers. As women get older, a lot of them are on the change of life and being held by you feels like being chained to a furnace.

 

If you gotta cuddle, I can see getting one on the side who's still young enough to bear it. Male cuddlers outnumber women cuddlers by about 73 to 1.

I'd love to know where you got that statistic from, do you have a link?

[Lacessit]

31 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've got one already, and most of her pals would try to move in if she dropped the ball.

He forgets you are hansum man.

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

You need to forget about getting a human female partner and get yourself a dog 

I suggest he breeds with the same breed of dog as he is as there are enough cross bred mongrels in the world already!

[KannikaP]

On 12/23/2023 at 3:27 PM, Chris Daley said:

Thai women love to burn chemicals or ''mosquito repellent'', turn off the fan and aircon so the temperature shoots up to 40 degrees and play music all night.

 

Nothing wrong with that.

My partner wants/needs the a/c on all night, even when the outside temperature is lower than the one she has set on the a/c .

I do not = separate rooms. 

[Nick Carter icp]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I've got one already, and most of her pals would try to move in if she dropped the ball.

 

   I mean proper partnerships , I don't mean paid for relationships where she pretends to like you .

When they get about 40 years old and their working life is behind them, 10 000 Baht a month for doing very little isn't a bad job offer for them

[charleskerins]

On 12/23/2023 at 3:46 PM, Prubangboy said:

I agree -barring a sleep disorder problem. This thread is about those people. But there may be other issues at play.

 

Sleeping apart or a partner withdrawing in other ways may be a sign of disengagement. The relationship is being re-written covertly (and possibly even unconsciously) without the offended partner's consent.

 

Maybe they feel powerless or are non-confrontational and this is their loophole to be at least a little free of you. Possibly, a sleep disorder is used as an excuse to withdraw. 'Def worth looking for other signs of sick-of-you. 

 

If she's checked out, her insomnia's realness is moot. And as Fruity says, if she's continuing to enjoy the benefits of the old relationship while edging into a new version that you don't like, that's unfair.

 

97% of the time, if you think that is what's going on, it is.

On the money !!!

[Bundooman]

On 12/22/2023 at 10:55 AM, NanLaew said:

The conjugal bed is a must, but his and hers ensuite bathrooms are the imperative in our house. Not so much about toilet seat debates (that's a western construct) but more about having her own space for all her crap.

If her crap is all over the place, then I'm not surprised you have separate rooms. Mine goes straight down the toilet - and in one place!