Coming Out - Aged 60

[Neeranam]

1 minute ago, tgw said:

Also, I would be careful with labels, such as gay, straight, etc. sexuality is a continuum, not a handful of hermetic boxes.

Thanks, interesting and helpful.

 

I texted him saying I, and my family are all happy to hear he has found a partner. 

[spidermike007]

I believe it's never too late to accept your true self and be open about it with others. Congratulations to your brother, kudos to him for the courage to live an open life, and may he be happy and well.

 

The best thing for you to do is just give him all the support you possibly can. 

[simon43]

As others have said, your sex life should be your private life.  No-one announces to the world that they are straight.  I don't announce to my family and friends that I like rubber gimp suits and dressing up as a French maid whilst being slapped with a smelly kipper.... and then wait for their questions about when I discovered that I liked this fetish etc etc, blah, blah blah!

 

Maybe I'm old school, but sex of any kind is for the bedroom, not something to announce and plaster all over social media.

Edited April 25 by simon43

[0ffshore360]

2 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Thanks, interesting and helpful.

 

I texted him saying I, and my family are all happy to hear he has found a partner. 

Job done then .

[mfd101]

I didn't 'come out' to the world - as opposed to my closest friends (all 'straight') - until I was 62 and had just fallen in love with my Thai Khmer boy to whom I have now been officially 'partnered' for 10 years. Everyone to whom (in Canberra) I announced the glad tidings behaved as though (yawn) they had 'known' since forever. All fine. But they didn't feel the need to talk about it.

 

When I finally took my boy to Canberra for a few months to meet everyone and to live (we thought permanently), he was overwhelmed by how warm everyone was. And everyone wanted to meet him. Middle-aged beautifully dressed dowagers at evening gatherings would kiss him on both cheeks. If you could have seen through his darkish skin he would have been blushing as well as giggling ...

[saintdomingo]

21 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Thanks, interesting and helpful.

 

I texted him saying I, and my family are all happy to hear he has found a partner. 

Did you ask what team the partner supports.?

[Nick Carter icp]

51 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

I feel sorry for you and your family.

 

   If my family all want to meet up and discuss their sex lives and who they are banging , well go ahead, but just don't invite me along to the meeting .

   Imagine if a son announced that he was gay and the Mother said *That's OK, me and your Father often have anal sex, that may be where you get if from*

   Would you really want to know that information ?

If anyone wants to tell me about their sex life , I will have to disappoint them , as I wont be listening to it 

[Neeranam]

42 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Where's he living. 

If he's living in the west I don't blame him for going queer. 

 

Buy him a airplane ticket to Thailand, after a few weeks here in Thailand he'll go heterosexual again. 

 

Are you serious?

[Farmerslife]

I would think if you just used the expression with him that you used in your original post " I think it's great he's free" then that would be enough. 

 If your brother wants a conversation with you on the subject then allow him to instigate it. 

 Good luck to him, it has clearly taken a lot of courage for him to open up about his true feelings.

[SAFETY FIRST]

3 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Are you serious?

This is a gay people group.

 

So, it's all I'm going to say on this topic because I'm well out numbered. 

 

Yes, I'm BLOODY SERIOUS 

Edited April 25 by SAFETY FIRST

[Neeranam]

1 minute ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

It's a gay people group so, this is all I'm going to say because I'm well out numbered. 

 

Yes, I'm BLOODY SERIOUS 

Well I'll add you to ignore, I don't want any communication with a homophobe. 

I wonder why you are hanging around a Gay forum. 

[Nick Carter icp]

33 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Not spoken directly to me, spoke to my mother who passed it on.

 

32 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

 

 

I texted him saying I, and my family are all happy to hear he has found a partner. 

 

   If he hasn't told you and he just told your Mum, seems like he was telling her confidentially . 

You may have dropped her in it , you shouldn't have mentioned it until he told you .

This would be his big coming out moment and you may have ruined his big announcement .

He wont be getting the attention now 

[SAFETY FIRST]

23 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Well I'll add you to ignore, I don't want any communication with a homophobe. 

I wonder why you are hanging around a Gay forum. 

Who made you the person who allows members to different groups. 

 

The topic title seemed interesting to read, I'm a little bored at the moment, the girlfriend is in the shower. 

 

I'm allowed to make a comment and give an opinion. 

 

I've heard it all now, non gays (straight people) are not welcome to the gay AN forum group. 

 

 

Edited April 25 by SAFETY FIRST

[Goat]

22 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

with my Thai Khmer boy

 

22 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

took my boy to Canberra for a few months

 

23 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

I was 62

How old was this boy?

[mfd101]

Just now, Goat said:

How old was this boy?

22

[onthemoon]

55 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Where's he living. 

If he's living in the west I don't blame him for going queer. 

 

Buy him a airplane ticket to Thailand, after a few weeks here in Thailand he'll go heterosexual again. 

Care to elaborate?

[onthemoon]

49 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I have no interest in other peoples relationships or sex lives.

Just get on doing whatever you want to do and no need to tell me about it .

If you weren't interested, you wouldn't even be in this thread. 

[Andrew Dwyer]

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

  I would be annoyed , because I have no interest in any of my families sexuality or what they get up to .

    Just keep it too yourself and no need to tell everyone as I am not interested at all .

Do whatever you want , but just keep it to yourself .

Yet here you are browsing the Gay People in Thailand forum and from the number of your replies you are enjoying the experience !!

 

To the OP , as you have accepted your brother’s choice then there is no reason to act any differently around him.

Like you i have a brother and we rarely converse, if he decides to announce he is gay i will accept his decision and leave him to decide whether or not he wants to divulge more to me, i wouldn’t push the issue by asking questions but would try to make him aware that this revelation hadn’t changed anything between us.

[Jingthing]

52 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I have no interest in other peoples relationships or sex lives.

Just get on doing whatever you want to do and no need to tell me about it .

I don't believe you.

You would have no issue hearing about a close relationship or marriage of a close  heterosexual relative.

[onthemoon]

44 minutes ago, simon43 said:

As others have said, your sex life should be your private life.  No-one announces to the world that they are straight.  I don't announce to my family and friends that I like rubber gimp suits and dressing up as a French maid whilst being slapped with a smelly kipper.... and then wait for their questions about when I discovered that I liked this fetish etc etc, blah, blah blah!

 

Maybe I'm old school, but sex of any kind is for the bedroom, not something to announce and plaster all over social media.

There is no reason to keep it secret whether you like men or women. If I am invited with a +1, I bring my husband. It's nobody's business to comment on that, and I don't see any reason to hide it. So sorry for you, my husband is as private as your wife. You show everybody that you are heterosexual, don't you?

 

Everybody announces to the world that they are hetero (if they are). Why did you just plaster all over social media that you are hetero, I wonder.

[Jingthing]

3 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

If you weren't interested, you wouldn't even be in this thread. 

He's interested in expressing his low grade homophobia which he doesn't appear to be eveh conscious of. 

[Nick Carter icp]

20 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Yet here you are browsing the Gay People in Thailand forum and from the number of your replies you are enjoying the experience !!

 

   When I press the "Unread content" button, all the latest threads appear , regardless of which forum they are in .

   So, I was looking at the latest content and not browsing  Gay people in Thailand forum 

Edited April 25 by Nick Carter icp

[Nick Carter icp]

2 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

If you weren't interested, you wouldn't even be in this thread. 

 

   A poster was asking for advice and I gave advice as asked .

[onthemoon]

27 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   If my family all want to meet up and discuss their sex lives and who they are banging , well go ahead, but just don't invite me along to the meeting .

   Imagine if a son announced that he was gay and the Mother said *That's OK, me and your Father often have anal sex, that may be where you get if from*

   Would you really want to know that information ?

If anyone wants to tell me about their sex life , I will have to disappoint them , as I wont be listening to it 

I think this thread is about love, not "banging". I certainly doubt that the OPs brother told his mother what he does in bed with the person he loves. If you think sex and love is the same, I feel even more sad for your and your family.

[Nick Carter icp]

2 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

I think this thread is about love, not "banging". I certainly doubt that the OPs brother told his mother what he does in bed with the person he loves. If you think sex and love is the same, I feel even more sad for your and your family.

 

   This thread is about relationships and relationships often involve sexual activity .

If you weren't having sex with your partner, would they still be in a relationship or would they be just good friends ?

   Isn't having sex the difference between being friends and being in a relationship ?

Not really much point in being in a relationship if you are both celibate . You would be just friends then 

[mfd101]

2 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

If you weren't having sex with your partner, would they still be in a relationship or would they be just good friends ?

   Isn't having sex the difference between being friends and being in a relationship ?

Not really much point in being in a relationship if you are both celibate . You would be just friends then 

Lots of middle-aged and elderly couples might have a different view, I think. Sexual activity tends to diminish in most - but not all - people with age, so sexless marriages are quite common. But they're still more than friends, a couple who sleep together and enjoy a cuddle on a cold winter's night ...

[simon43]

15 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

here is no reason to keep it secret whether you like men or women. If I am invited with a +1, I bring my husband. It's nobody's business to comment on that, and I don't see any reason to hide it. So sorry for you, my husband is as private as your wife. You show everybody that you are heterosexual, don't you?

 

Everybody announces to the world that they are hetero (if they are). Why did you just plaster all over social media that you are hetero, I wonder.

Huh? I'm not heterosexual! Whatever my sexual preferences are, there is no reason to shout these details out to everyone.  The only relevant person is my partner (if I have one) or a potential partner.

 

 So zero points for you to assume that I'm announcing all over SM that I'm straight.....

[Baht Simpson]

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I have no interest in other peoples relationships or sex lives.

Yet you're on every LGBT+ thread giving your opinions. 

[roo860]

21 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   When I press the "Unread content" button, all the latest threads appear , regardless of which forum they are in .

   So, I was looking at the latest content and not browsing  Gay people in Thailand forum 

Yeah, course you were!🤫🤫

[onthemoon]

10 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   This thread is about relationships and relationships often involve sexual activity .

If you weren't having sex with your partner, would they still be in a relationship or would they be just good friends ?

   Isn't having sex the difference between being friends and being in a relationship ?

Not really much point in being in a relationship if you are both celibate . You would be just friends then 

The brother did not discuss sex, he mentioned a love relationship. Sex is a physical activity that people have with or without love.

 

It is telling that you first think of sex when people talk about relationships. I feel sorry for you.