Coming Out - Aged 60

[onthemoon]

17 hours ago, G_Money said:

I’ve heard that someone is gay only if they’re a pitcher, not a catcher during oral sex.

 

According to a friend.

 

Then they said someone is gay only if they’re a catcher, not a pitcher during anal sex.

 

Is this true?

No, it isn't. Someone is gay when he loves men the way you love women. It has absolutely nothing to do with what you do or prefer in bed, or whether you do anything in bed at all. 

 

What you said actually is something I have heard from Thai people. This guy always had boyfriends, but he thought he wasn't gay because he was the giver, not the taker. Sorry, but that's not the definition of gay. He loved guys.

[NoshowJones]

22 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   I have no interest in other peoples relationships or sex lives.

Just get on doing whatever you want to do and no need to tell me about it .

I agree, as long as they keep their goings on behind close doors.

[onthemoon]

16 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

   What does coming out mean then ?

You have a new best friend who is the same gender as yourself ?

No. It means that when you fall in love, you fall in love with a guy. Unexpected fact: Sometimes, you will never have a relationship with that guy, as he does not fancy you. So, dear Nick, no sex. But still gay.

 

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl and not have had a relationship with her? If so, does it mean that you are not straight?

[onthemoon]

13 hours ago, Nick Carter icp said:

60 years old is way to old to begin doing things like that , he could easily slip a disc bending over with all that exertion going on , especially if his back muscles arent used to all the strain 

60 years is not too old to fall in love, I can assure you.

[onthemoon]

4 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

Is this what is called diversity?

In some countries you can change your gender once a year.

🙏

This is totally unrelated and has nothing to do with the topic of this thread, but please do name one of these countries.

Edited April 26 by onthemoon

[onthemoon]

2 hours ago, parallelman said:

Why apprehensive? Your bother has made a choice that perhaps you wouldn't have but how many other choices has he made in life that perhaps you wouldn't have. No need to change anything between you and your bother just carry on as usual. If you overreact one way or the other the relationship will change, which I assume you don't want. At times during the year you might meet and if your brother had a girlfriend she would get an invite too (I assume) so do the same in this case.

I agree with what you want to say, but being gay is not a choice you make. You find out at some stage in your life that you are attracted to guys. That's it. You don't decide that.

[newbee2022]

5 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

This is totally unrelated and has nothing to do with the topic of this thread, but please do name one of these countries.

Diversity:

noun

1.

the state of being diverse; variety.

"there was considerable diversity in the style of the reports"

2.

the practice or quality of including or involving people from a range of different social and ethnic backgrounds and of different genders, sexual orientations, etc.

"equality and diversity should be supported for their own sake"

 

I think my post is very much related to your story

[onthemoon]

Just now, newbee2022 said:

Diversity:

noun

1.

the state of being diverse; variety.

"there was considerable diversity in the style of the reports"

2.

the practice or quality of including or involving people from a range of different social and ethnic backgrounds and of different genders, sexual orientations, etc.

"equality and diversity should be supported for their own sake"

 

I think my post is very much related to your story

No, this topic is about being gay. It's just one aspect of diversity. Otherwise, we would talking about colour of skin, physical or mental disabilities, fashion, and everything. Let's focus instead.

 

This is the gay forum, not the "everything you want to say about diversity" forum.

[NoshowJones]

22 hours ago, onthemoon said:

If you weren't interested, you wouldn't even be in this thread. 

I am on this thread, I got it in the Newsletter but did not know until now that it was in the other forum.

[newbee2022]

1 minute ago, onthemoon said:

No, this topic is about being gay. It's just one aspect of diversity. Otherwise, we would talking about colour of skin, physical or mental disabilities, fashion, and everything. Let's focus instead.

 

This is the gay forum, not the "everything you want to say about diversity" forum.

Well, being gay is one aspect of diversity. And since when AN is a gay forum? Did I miss something? Tell me.😳

[JimTripper]

I have two family members that became gay and we just never talked about it. There was no 'discussion'. They just showed up with their partner one day and we either 'got it' or we didn't. Being adults, we got the hint.

 

Even decades later it's never discussed. The partner is just treated as another family member. Although there is some underlying 'weirdness' there I don't think a verbal discussion would solve anything.

Edited April 26 by JimTripper

[KhunLA]

2 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

I have two family members that became gay and we just never talked about it. There was no 'discussion'. They just showed up with their partner one day and we either 'got it' or we didn't. Being adults, we got the hint. Even decades later it's never discussed. The partner is just treated as another family member.

Don't think you become gay, just realize you are gay or bisexual at some point.

[JimTripper]

8 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

Don't think you become gay, just realize you are gay or bisexual at some point.

They had straight relationships earlier in life, so it's not fair to say they were always gay. Not "coming out of the closet", but just changing.

Edited April 26 by JimTripper

[Yagoda]

On 4/25/2024 at 10:01 AM, Neeranam said:

My brother just came out the closet and I'd appreciate some advice about what to say to him. He never actually said "I'm gay" but told us he has a partners and it's a serious relationship. 

Of course, I suspected this for ages, going to the Eurovision song contest and Shirley Bassey concerts but it's quite a big thing, well maybe not. 

I think it's great that he is free but also a bit sad that he's been hiding it all these years, or maybe he hasn't -  is this possible to turn gay late in life?

Should I just say I am happy and not ask questions like when did you know etc?

 

Where your brother sticks his dick is not an issue to most normal westerners. However, in light of your neonazi antigay avatar, Im sure you will join the rest of your compatriots in throwing him off a rooftop.

 

 

[KhunLA]

14 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

They had straight relationships earlier in life, so it's not fair to say they were always gay. Not "coming out of the closet", but just changing.

Hard to say, as maybe they were always gay, but the social stigma of being so, in their social circles, forced them to accept a straight relationship, only to realize, they weren't.

 

Don't think you wake one day and think to yourself, 'I think I'll change teams' 

Only they know their true thoughts of self, and may not want to share.

[JimTripper]

1 minute ago, KhunLA said:

Hard to say, as maybe they were always gay, but the social stigma of being so, in their social circles, forced them to accept a straight relationship, only to realize, they weren't.

 

Don't think you wake one day and think to yourself, 'I think I'll change teams' 

Only they know their true thoughts of self, and may not want to share.

Or, they could really be straight now and are in a gay closet! 🤣

 

You are playing head games. Accept who you are at the moment no matter what others think and don't try to get into other people's heads.

[onthemoon]

1 hour ago, newbee2022 said:

Well, being gay is one aspect of diversity. And since when AN is a gay forum? Did I miss something? Tell me.😳

This is the Gay Forum of AseanNews. Welcome to our group!

 

[G_Money]

If one was to pitch (oral) once in their life would they be labeled a pitcher for life?

 

A friend wants to know.

[onthemoon]

Just now, G_Money said:

If one was to pitch (oral) once in their life would they be labeled a pitcher for life?

 

A friend wants to know.

No. Many young guys (often in their early 20s) give it a try with a guy and later fall in love with a girl instead. 

 

It's who you fall in love with that makes you gay or straight. Many a gay man has had sex with a woman. That didn't make them straight.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, onthemoon said:

Regardless of the answer to that question, none of the gay Palestinians were killed because they were gay. So, this question is moot.

 

What question? I didn't pose any questions.

 

Could you be replying to the wrong comment?

[newbee2022]

13 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

This is the Gay Forum of AseanNews. Welcome to our group!

 

No, this topic is only one of more than 20 today. 

[G_Money]

9 minutes ago, onthemoon said:

No. Many young guys (often in their early 20s) give it a try with a guy and later fall in love with a girl instead. 

 

It's who you fall in love with that makes you gay or straight. Many a gay man has had sex with a woman. That didn't make them straight.

Thanks.  I’ll pass this information on to my friend.

 

 

[onthemoon]

11 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

 

What question? I didn't pose any questions.

 

Could you be replying to the wrong comment?

May be, cannot find the post I reply to now. Someone asked how many gay Palestinians were killed by which side, that's what my comment referred to. Anyway, that question is moot.

[zhounan]

Very simple, continue to treat him normally, as you have always treated him. There's nothing else needed, there's no need to say anything.

 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

On 4/25/2024 at 10:01 AM, Neeranam said:

Should I just say I am happy and not ask questions like when did you know etc?

I suspect that you will have offered no praise/observations/comments/criticisms to him about his normal, heterosexuality during the previous decades so why do you feel that it is necessary to cheer along his homosexuality now?    

Edited April 26 by Liverpool Lou

[mfd101]

2 hours ago, onthemoon said:

I agree with what you want to say, but being gay is not a choice you make. You find out at some stage in your life that you are attracted to guys. That's it. You don't decide that.

Of course, but this is about the decision to 'come out'.

[mfd101]

1 hour ago, KhunLA said:

Hard to say, as maybe they were always gay, but the social stigma of being so, in their social circles, forced them to accept a straight relationship, only to realize, they weren't.

 

Don't think you wake one day and think to yourself, 'I think I'll change teams' 

Exactly my experience.

[Neeranam]

4 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

Of course, but this is about the decision to 'come out'.

Maybe not. 

One can make a decision to do something and not do anything. Reminds me of the frog story. 

3 frogs sitting on a log and one decides to jump off, how many frogs are on the log?

 

three, as one just decided to jump off

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, onthemoon said:

It's who you fall in love with that makes you gay or straight. Many a gay man has had sex with a woman. That didn't make them straight.

Good point, thanks. 

[onthemoon]

44 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

Of course, but this is about the decision to 'come out'.

Yes, I agree.