"Regrets" versus "best thing I ever did".

[swissie]

Mainly adressing folks in the "autumn" of their life. Would you consider your life "satisfactory", looking back overall?

Did you achieve the things that you had in your mind when you were 20 years old?

What was your main "regret"? What was your "best thing I ever did"? Things that YOU influenced, not the God called "coincidence".

Spill your guts, I don't "kiss and tell".

[sidjameson]

Autumn years? You mean 40 to 60?

Winter years 60 to 80?

[swissie]

9 minutes ago, sidjameson said:

Autumn years? You mean 40 to 60?

Winter years 60 to 80?

Rather Winter years.

[mstevens]

More than satisfactory, and exceeded what I thought was possible when I was young.

 

My biggest regrets are some of the things I should have done which, unfortunately, is a little negative. I allowed a few toxic people to remain in my life for too long and I should have told them to fxxx off way earlier than I did. To be clear, we're not talking about romantic partners / wife here, but a couple of family members and some people I once called friends, all of whom it took me way too long to realise having anything to do with them was seriously unhealthy.

 

With this in mind, if I had my time again, the one piece of advice I'd give to my young self would be to steer clear of anyone who is toxic as soon as you see their real character shining through. Being around toxic people has a truly toxic effect on your own life. Not realising this earlier is my #1 regret.

Edited July 31 by mstevens

[still kicking]

Yes I never regret anything I did all of my life I dreamed about migrating to another country and I did in 1973 never looked back including my time in Thailand love where I live 

[AnotherOneHere]

29 minutes ago, still kicking said:

Yes I never regret anything I did all of my life I dreamed about migrating to another country and I did in 1973 never looked back including my time in Thailand love where I live 

 

But the problem is, that you constantly claim in all your posts, that you are from Australia. I could count number of posts on my hand that doesn't contain your proud "we guys from OZ". While you were born and you spent your first 60 years of your life in Iran.  🤨

[bokningar]

31 minutes ago, AnotherOneHere said:

1 hour ago, still kicking said:

Yes I never regret anything I did all of my life I dreamed about migrating to another country and I did in 1973 never looked back including my time in Thailand love where I live 

 

But the problem is, that you constantly claim in all your posts, that you are from Australia. I could count number of posts on my hand that doesn't contain your proud "we guys from OZ". While you were born and you spent your first 60 years of your life in Iran.  🤨

Wow, if he was 60 years old 1973, he must be very old now.

[AnotherOneHere]

20 minutes ago, bokningar said:

Wow, if he was 60 years old 1973, he must be very old now.

Welll ... he is. 😑

[susanlea]

Regret opening this topic

[delgarcon]

I regret ever smoking

[steven100]

Regret's ...   I've had a few 

But then again ..  too few to mention 

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way ....   

[OneMoreFarang]

The best thing I ever did was moving to Thailand when I was still young.

"Back home" is getting worse all the time. And life in Thailand is still enjoyable.

 

One other best thing is that I decided to join the PC industry when everybody still used DOS. Enough work then, enough work now, and no worries about the future. And I can do that anywhere in this world. 

[KhunLA]

10 hours ago, swissie said:

1 Would you consider your life "satisfactory", looking back overall?
2 Did you achieve the things that you had in your mind when you were 20 years old?

3 What was your main "regret"? What was your "best thing I ever did"? 

1. very satisfactory

2. far exceeded my expectations

3. Regret

... legally getting married first 3 times (although, no financial loss)

... probably alcohol & drug use, and not retire at 25, instead of 45

 

Best things

... save 3 youngins from drowning on Phuket

... got adopted by my now adult village orphan (daughter)

... met wife #4

[Prubangboy]

Most regrets are self-flagellation.

 

People regret that they didn't try harder at something, but they forget that they were unsupported in their trying or raised badly. Or they regret outcomes that were really down to luck.

 

Or they regret relationships where they were doing the best they could at the maturity level they were at at the time.

 

The most painful regrets are about character, where people willfully make selfish choices. But to even then, the regret itself is proof that the person has morally improved since the regret-situation.

 

These days, I have worked through all of my regrets as above. My primary regret, then and now, is not loving myself enough.

[ignore it]

I sometimes regret reading some posts.

[newnative]

     I spent my career working in a community college library.  Liked my job and my co-workers, and the mix of students.  If given a do-over, I might choose a career in interior design, instead.  But, I've sort of had a second career doing just that after my retirement in my early 50s and it has been very satisfying.  

     One of the best things I ever did was buying my first condo in my 30s, after too many years of renting.  Certainly, it was the smartest thing I ever did.  I would be in semi-deep kimchi right about now had I rented all my life.

     

[statman78]

Overall I achieved more than I ever expected to achieve.  I’ve made poor decisions along the way (mainly wives 1 & 2) but now I am perfectly content living here in Thailand with my third wife.

 

Even with the mistakes I’ve made I wouldn’t go back to change anything.  Everything I did in the past has at least a little influence on where I am now.  One small change and who knows where I would be now.

[WorriedNoodle]

Regrets?

 

I've had a few.

[Photoguy21]

For me, my life has been fantastic. Travelled the world, which I love doing, worked in a great industry and made money. What more could anyone ask for?

[flexomike]

8 hours ago, steven100 said:

Regret's ...   I've had a few 

But then again ..  too few to mention 

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way ....   

That poped into my mind as soon as I opened this post, Miss you Frank

[khunPer]

"Regrets": That I still haven't won the EuroJackpot...

"Best thing I ever did": Move to Thailand...

[Photoguy21]

24 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

ask a thai...

Everyone has their own ideal life

[Lacessit]

I regret staying in a marriage for far too long, out of a sense of duty and responsibility.

 

Two best things I did was following my father's advice to avoid debt like the plague, and coming to Thailand to retire.

[GinBoy2]

Hmmm, regret is a painful pill to swallow.

 

For me thats all mixed up with my relationship to my Thai wife.

 

I bitterly regret the pain my marriage break up caused to my ex, who I still love dearly and have a close relationship and my daughters

 

My Thai wife was already pregnant with our son when the <deleted> hit the fan. Terrible, lots of shouting, crying wouldn't want to go back there

 

Now 20+ years later things are different and one of the joys of my life is how we've blended these families together.

 

All my kids are adults, my Thai son is married with a son, lives close to my eldest daughter who is a great auntie.

 

My ex and and my current wife love nothing better than getting together to mutually discuss my many faults.

 

So I regret what I did, but the best thing I ever did was somehow put this amazing blended family together

[kenny m]

Biggest regret as a 16 year old - not going to the Bobby Charlton School of Excellence when all I ever wanted to be was a pro-footballer (but hate Man Utd. 555)

Biggest mistake in latter years - staying married to the same Thai lady for nigh on 30 years before realising it was time to get out.

But all good now

Edited August 1 by kenny m

[geisha]

22 hours ago, AnotherOneHere said:

 

But the problem is, that you constantly claim in all your posts, that you are from Australia. I could count number of posts on my hand that doesn't contain your proud "we guys from OZ". While you were born and you spent your first 60 years of your life in Iran.  🤨

Are you an ASEAN spy ?

[Hummin]

7 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Hmmm, regret is a painful pill to swallow.

 

For me thats all mixed up with my relationship to my Thai wife.

 

I bitterly regret the pain my marriage break up caused to my ex, who I still love dearly and have a close relationship and my daughters

 

My Thai wife was already pregnant with our son when the <deleted> hit the fan. Terrible, lots of shouting, crying wouldn't want to go back there

 

Now 20+ years later things are different and one of the joys of my life is how we've blended these families together.

 

All my kids are adults, my Thai son is married with a son, lives close to my eldest daughter who is a great auntie.

 

My ex and and my current wife love nothing better than getting together to mutually discuss my many faults.

 

So I regret what I did, but the best thing I ever did was somehow put this amazing blended family together

Good job and all ended good, nothing to regret anymore. Time heals even the worst mistakes. 

 

Personally I had a great journey and regret nothing. 

 

My best thing is yet to happen, thats the wonderful about living, magic happens all the time

[GinBoy2]

1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Good job and all ended good, nothing to regret anymore. Time heals even the worst mistakes. 

 

Personally I had a great journey and regret nothing. 

 

My best thing is yet to happen, thats the wonderful about living, magic happens all the time

It's sort of weird.

 

Of course I'm happy how everything has worked out, kids are happy, grandkids and all of us are OK in our lives.

 

But you can't help thinking about that trauma that happened back in the day

 

In introspection I have had this conversation with my wife ex wife, and woman generally have a clearer mind than men.

 

Men I 'think' can tend to be bitter when thing go badly

 

Women will in general walk away. 

 

Not making any judgments but thats what I see

[Hummin]

8 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

It's sort of weird.

 

Of course I'm happy how everything has worked out, kids are happy, grandkids and all of us are OK in our lives.

 

But you can't help thinking about that trauma that happened back in the day

 

In introspection I have had this conversation with my wife ex wife, and woman generally have a clearer mind than men.

 

Men I 'think' can tend to be bitter when thing go badly

 

Women will in general walk away. 

 

Not making any judgments but thats what I see

It is part of the experience making you a better human being! There is a time to evaluate and there is a time to grow on your experiences. Seems it ended good, so time to let go of bad feelings involved in your past. 

[Will B Good]

Did you achieve the things that you had in your mind when you were 20 years old?

 

Stupid enough to have nothing in mind beyond 'Sonia Ridley'

What was your main "regret"?

 

Marrying my first wife

 

What was your "best thing I ever did"?

 

Brought up, as a single dad, four of the most beautiful, well balance, intelligent and successful children.....could be some bias in there.