How to deal with a conflict with monkeys?

[organicman]

I know never to have food, give food, or be aggressive to monkeys. Staring at them or being aggressive to a monkey will make it attack you. The general rule with wild animals, it's best to leave them alone and avoid eye contact. 

 

This is the second time I've had a problem with monkeys this year. I've never had a conflict before. My question is, what should you do when they start damaging your property? Do loud noises work?

 

Today, we parked our scooter away from all the monkeys. As soon as we got off our Scooter, a monkey came out of the bush and jumped onto my scooter. I tried to shoo it away to get off my scooter without showing aggression, but it just hissed at me and took my cheap sunglasses on my bike. It then jumped off my scooter and stayed 2 meters away, playing with it. I thought I would move my Scooter away where my Thai girlfriend tried to get my cheap sunglasses back, but the monkey hissed at her too. I told her not to worry about the sunglasses. At the same time, looking around for somewhere else to park away from monkeys. I was standing 1 meter away from my Scooter when the same monkey gave up on the sunglasses jumped back on my bike, and started hissing at me. I didn't want my bike destroyed, so we found a Buddhist monk, and as soon as the Monk was about 20 meters away, the monkey ran. I want this power! If I have an interaction with a monkey or monkeys again, how can I do what this Buddhist monk did? I know with bears you start waving and make a lot of noise. Tigers, I hear, never break eye contact, run or turn your back on them. Back away slowly and make a lot of noise if it tries to attack.

 

Brand new Scooter now has two minor crawl marks. I wanted to hit it with my bag but there was other monkeys around hence I didn't want to take on 10-15 of them. 

Edited 1 hour ago by organicman

[Hummin]

Dogs, and horn signal scarers them away.

 

https://s.lazada.co.th/s.Jg3sE

 

[Hummin]

Forgot, fake snakes works until they figure it out if ever. Just make sure to move them around every now and then.

 

We had monkeys climbing our condo every Buddha day when they put fruit on roof to the ghosts or who ever was up there, so we had a big rubber snake on our balcony. Never had any monkey visit again

[ukrules]

I heard that if they ever see a 'slingshot' they run for their lives because they know what they means.

[mokwit]

How long before someone comes on and explains that if you are nice to them they will be nice to you in return?

[Nick Carter icp]

If you feed them and be nice to them, they will be nice in return 

[metisdead]

Some troll posts have been removed.

[organicman]

A lot of children are on today! 

 

Serious answers, please!

 

I'm going to try some of what people say. I hope you aren't being sarcastic, and I will seriously hurt! I need to deal monkeys every now due to moving to a new location. 

 

My Thai girlfriend was attacked early this year when I was with her. We had about 30 monkeys around us, hissing at us and jumping on us. I grabbed her hand and told her to be calm and walk slowly. Just before, about 200 monkeys were having a huge fight prior. We waited about 30 minutes for things to calm down before we walked back down the stairs, but it didn't stop them from attacking her cause she panicked.  

 

There doesn't seem to be too much information online. I thought this would be an excellent forum to ask a serious question and stay out of danger in the future.

Edited 14 minutes ago by organicman