Failed expats and the lies they tell others and themselves as to why ...

[puukao]

I would say EVERY human being FAILS........

you can never have enough money, enough happiness, the perfect marriage, every day the best, smartest, kindest, best athlete, do what we want, have the best job.......no, we all FAIL.

and yet we all SUCCEED. We all try, we all laugh, we all cry, we all wonder, we all think, we debate, explore, learn, and, as we get older, we don't care about failing. we go with our heart and we try.....

I'll admit it right now: I failed big time. I failed at kissing my boss's butt and left a few jobs before I reached my "potential". I tried my own thing, failed. cost me a lot of money and time. I tried other things, and failed. but i have been able to mostly laugh it all off, get better at other things, let the failures go. but i haven't met anyone who has done it perfectly, so i don't worry too much about it. of course i've succeeded in many, many things. some people say i am too confident, but you need to be at times....even though buddha says that doesn't help. i know buddha, i know.....give me my refuge into my own mind.

Edited December 30, 2014 by puukao

[anon022]

Failure? I didn't "fail" as an expat in Thailand. I just decided after a 1 year's retirement extension that I preferred the first world amenities in the US. I don't care for bars, bar girls, or an excess of alcohol and Thailand is a craphole compared to "most parts" of the US.

Thailand turned into a nice place to visit about once a year for a max of 180 days but usually more like 90. Then I get on a plane and return to everything that makes a first world country comfortable, and to weather that doesn't melt me with heat and humidity.

I'm not skint. I can do what I want to do so "cost of living" isn't an issue even though living well in Thailand doesn't seem that cheap to me.

Haha, although you have enough cash to live well in both countries, it seams you have totally missed the point of living in a country where, compared to the US, you can still do a lot of things you can only dream of in America, like demonstrating without being arrested, beaten up, peppers prayed, tasered to death or shot by the militarized police, or where your kids can still open a lemonade stand without being arrested, or where your granny can still grow her own vegetables without the food police coming 'round to shut it down. Oh how about opening a little street food stand? Ha, virtually all your freedoms have been taken away, and even the food you eat is so full of crap, the government won't even allow it to be printed on the food labels.

Thats a load of crap............gawd............

Ha, these are facts, whether you like it or not. And btw, you being here proves that you do not prefer to be back where you come from, you prefer to be here. Edited December 30, 2014 by Impossible

[nithisa78]

OP is correct.

So many come here 'giving up all' (they tell the world) for the loveliness of Thailand but just can't hack it - whether it's the third world nature of the place, the apathy of the people or they simply cannot get used to a basic style of living.

Those that 'slither on out', as someone wrote, are afraid to admit failure - and yes, that is what it is. Those that tell the world in the first place they are going to 'give it a try' are not failures, they are the realists.

The disgusting ex-holidaymakers who come here to live because they cannot get a girl (or boy) at home are equal failures - those are the ones who, on here, moan and groan about how the Thai failed them. Utter losers.

“The ignorant work for their own profit, Arjuna; the wise work for the welfare of the world, without thought for themselves. By abstaining from work you will confuse the ignorant, who are engrossed in their actions. Perform all work carefully, guided by compassion.”

- Bhagavad Gita 3:25-26

[mikebike]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, [yeah really? try telling that to Michael Brown and those protesting the fallout of the court decision regarding Ferguson] I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

The environment in Thailand is filthy and reflects its people’s attitude; they are a lethargic group, most sleeping over a bowl of rice at there job with little pride in their surroundings. [stereotype much? I'm guessing you live in one of the Farang Ghettos... Where I live most of the locals are hard working, industrious, and community minded.] With garbage every ware and raw sewage running into beaches were people swim the Thai government remains focused on shaking down tourists and residents with various third world scamming techniques, protecting myself as a full time expat and a clean environment is not even governmental concerns. [Why, oh why, would the Thai government be spending its time and money protecting you - a non-citizen?]

The practice of double pricing (stealing) permitted for farang, having to deflect every type of scam imaginable day in and day out. After 8 years I have begun the process of unwinding out of Thailand I will begin to reduce my time in the Kingdom, begin the process of removing my assets which of course will radically reduce the flow of income I disperse into the community. [Ah, here it comes - "They're gonna miss me (my money) when I'm gone... You find the answer to that is, "Not so much"!!]

By far the primary reason why I am removing myself from Thailand is that I just don’t feel welcome; I do not feel like I have a home in Thailand. Personally I speak, read and write their language and I’ve made substantial investments in the community, my economic footprint is easily 20 times that of a typical Thai yet I feel unwelcome and unsupported in Thailand. ["I've spent a boatload of money - why doesn't anyone like or respect me."] It has been made very clear to me I am a guest being tolerated, a person being allowed temporary accommodation, this is not the type of environment I can call home or where I want to spend the next 25 years of my life.

I will keep a little place in Thailand for a few months a year on the beach but I know now it is not the place where I want to retire. I don’t feel I have failed with Thailand, I thought it was something different than it turned out to be and now I have decided to take a different path.

Hard to tell if this is a troll-post or not. Definitely a classic in the genre of 'Thailand Filtered Through the Lens of my Home Culture'!!

[CaptHaddock]

I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, ...

Let me guess here, you're a white guy, right? Just a shot in the dark.

[Berkshire]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

[Berkshire]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, [yeah really? try telling that to Michael Brown and those protesting the fallout of the court decision regarding Ferguson] I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

The environment in Thailand is filthy and reflects its people’s attitude; they are a lethargic group, most sleeping over a bowl of rice at there job with little pride in their surroundings. [stereotype much? I'm guessing you live in one of the Farang Ghettos... Where I live most of the locals are hard working, industrious, and community minded.] With garbage every ware and raw sewage running into beaches were people swim the Thai government remains focused on shaking down tourists and residents with various third world scamming techniques, protecting myself as a full time expat and a clean environment is not even governmental concerns. [Why, oh why, would the Thai government be spending its time and money protecting you - a non-citizen?]

The practice of double pricing (stealing) permitted for farang, having to deflect every type of scam imaginable day in and day out. After 8 years I have begun the process of unwinding out of Thailand I will begin to reduce my time in the Kingdom, begin the process of removing my assets which of course will radically reduce the flow of income I disperse into the community. [Ah, here it comes - "They're gonna miss me (my money) when I'm gone... You find the answer to that is, "Not so much"!!]

By far the primary reason why I am removing myself from Thailand is that I just don’t feel welcome; I do not feel like I have a home in Thailand. Personally I speak, read and write their language and I’ve made substantial investments in the community, my economic footprint is easily 20 times that of a typical Thai yet I feel unwelcome and unsupported in Thailand. ["I've spent a boatload of money - why doesn't anyone like or respect me."] It has been made very clear to me I am a guest being tolerated, a person being allowed temporary accommodation, this is not the type of environment I can call home or where I want to spend the next 25 years of my life.

I will keep a little place in Thailand for a few months a year on the beach but I know now it is not the place where I want to retire. I don’t feel I have failed with Thailand, I thought it was something different than it turned out to be and now I have decided to take a different path.

Hard to tell if this is a troll-post or not. Definitely a classic in the genre of 'Thailand Filtered Through the Lens of my Home Culture'!!

It's more like a perfect example of a "failed expat." They'll never take responsibility for their failures.

[lannarebirth]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

To be fair, while the comment "...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless..." is preposterous on one level it is not on another. The truth is that anyone at anytime can be killed by the police and the laws in place support that. For a white person it could come from a traffic stop over a broken taillight, for a black person it could come from having the temerity to talk with a couple of your friends on a street corner. The blacks have it much worse given the perceived probability of someone in their group being engaged in criminal activity and laws that always back the cops play, right or wrong. I think for most individual Americans though, what the poster said is accurate.

[mikebike]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

To be fair, while the comment "...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless..." is preposterous on one level it is not on another. I think for most individual WHITE Americans though, what the poster said is accurate.

Fixed it for ya!

I think you'll find a very different conclusion from US people of colour.

Edited December 31, 2014 by mikebike

[Living in a cartoon]

Thinking about this in a personal way, the few people that I have back in the USA would be happy to see me move back and I could tell them all the truth without any shame about the reasons, whatever they may be. Can't predict the future, but if I go back the most likely reasons would be either visa or health related. It won't be about language problems, not where I live. For me living here has been largely motivated by economics and I think while it is not paradise, I have been better off here. But that of course can change.

I also happen to be interested in exploring Cuenca Ecuador some day as a potential place to move from here, rather than back to the USA, but I realize the language issue is a much bigger deal there and I seriously doubt my ability to ever be fluent in Spanish. So if I did move there thinking I could make it there with Spanish, and couldn't, yes I would consider that as a personal failure.

Definitely, get your highly successful lifestyle over to Ecuador. They have internet forums and cheap baht bus type transport. Don't know about that gay stuff though, but as you narrowed it down to that venue I'm sure you have sussed it out. Bye, we'll all miss your insightful restaurant reviews.

Downside is we will all consider you a failure as you will have left Thailand. Other than that, it's a win-win.

The odds of me moving to Ecuador are slim. Like I said, I know my strengths and weaknesses and foreign language proficiency is a big weakness. But I am interested enough to consider at least doing an exploratory visit one day but I think I would want to wait until their tram system is finished in Cuenca, which will be in a few years.

Regarding your comment about gay life, actually Cuenca Ecuador has almost no gay nightlife and it is a VERY conservative Catholic dominated culture there. But believe it or not, that isn't a high priority for me either way, as long as people don't shoot me for what I am, so that would rule out retiring in Tehran.

Fair enough. But to your OP. Not so much about "failed expats", but the part about...

"the lies they tell others and themselves"

As you have such an obvious insight into human nature, I am curious. What lies do you tell to yourself? The lies you tell to others can wait until your reply to this post.

Come on JT, let us in. You have more posts than anyone else. From what I have been able to tell, you are just another guy who finds himself late in life with insufficient financial resources and no friends, desperately seeking redemption on the internet.

Come clean JT, what lies do you tell yourself to get through the day?

Edited December 31, 2014 by Living in a cartoon

[Jingthing]

Thinking about this in a personal way, the few people that I have back in the USA would be happy to see me move back and I could tell them all the truth without any shame about the reasons, whatever they may be. Can't predict the future, but if I go back the most likely reasons would be either visa or health related. It won't be about language problems, not where I live. For me living here has been largely motivated by economics and I think while it is not paradise, I have been better off here. But that of course can change.

I also happen to be interested in exploring Cuenca Ecuador some day as a potential place to move from here, rather than back to the USA, but I realize the language issue is a much bigger deal there and I seriously doubt my ability to ever be fluent in Spanish. So if I did move there thinking I could make it there with Spanish, and couldn't, yes I would consider that as a personal failure.

Definitely, get your highly successful lifestyle over to Ecuador. They have internet forums and cheap baht bus type transport. Don't know about that gay stuff though, but as you narrowed it down to that venue I'm sure you have sussed it out. Bye, we'll all miss your insightful restaurant reviews.

Downside is we will all consider you a failure as you will have left Thailand. Other than that, it's a win-win.

The odds of me moving to Ecuador are slim. Like I said, I know my strengths and weaknesses and foreign language proficiency is a big weakness. But I am interested enough to consider at least doing an exploratory visit one day but I think I would want to wait until their tram system is finished in Cuenca, which will be in a few years.

Regarding your comment about gay life, actually Cuenca Ecuador has almost no gay nightlife and it is a VERY conservative Catholic dominated culture there. But believe it or not, that isn't a high priority for me either way, as long as people don't shoot me for what I am, so that would rule out retiring in Tehran.

Fair enough. But to your OP. Not so much about "failed expats", but the part about...

"the lies they tell others and themselves"

As you have such an obvious insight into human nature, I am curious. What lies do you tell to yourself? The lies you tell to others can wait until your reply to this post.

Come on JT, let us in. You have more posts than anyone else. From what I have been able to tell, you are just another guy who finds himself late in life with insufficient financial resources and no friends, desperately seeking redemption on the internet.

Come clean JT, what lies do you tell yourself to get through the day?

At least the internet is real. Unlike, religious deities.

Other than that, nice try.

Bait rejected:

[Berkshire]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

To be fair, while the comment "...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless..." is preposterous on one level it is not on another. I think for most individual WHITE Americans though, what the poster said is accurate.

Fixed it for ya!

I think you'll find a very different conclusion from US people of colour.

So true. Lannarebirth, do you ever wonder why white and black Americans have such different perspectives on so many issues? Don't answer that, but THAT in itself is the problem. A separate and unequal America is what we have.

In the case of our failed expat Robert2006, here's a guy who comes over and thinks that the Thais will be kissing his ass day in and day out. Believes himself to be a "hansum" man. Etc., etc. When he finds his own flawed expectations to be false, he blames someone else for his failures. Sad.

[lannarebirth]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

To be fair, while the comment "...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless..." is preposterous on one level it is not on another. I think for most individual WHITE Americans though, what the poster said is accurate.

Fixed it for ya!

I think you'll find a very different conclusion from US people of colour.

You're not supposed to "fix" people's posts but I don't care but sometimes the mods do. I'm saying the laws and the application of those laws are racist but generally speaking most of the people are not. So, you're saying it is the people of colour (American?) who are the racists?

[lannarebirth]

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

To be fair, while the comment "...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless..." is preposterous on one level it is not on another. I think for most individual WHITE Americans though, what the poster said is accurate.

Fixed it for ya!

I think you'll find a very different conclusion from US people of colour.

So true. Lannarebirth, do you ever wonder why white and black Americans have such different perspectives on so many issues? Don't answer that, but THAT in itself is the problem. A separate and unequal America is what we have.

In the case of our failed expat Robert2006, here's a guy who comes over and thinks that the Thais will be kissing his ass day in and day out. Believes himself to be a "hansum" man. Etc., etc. When he finds his own flawed expectations to be false, he blames someone else for his failures. Sad.

Yes, in the past I have wondered about those differences in perspectives. I don't anymore. White America is beginning to get just a taste of what black Americans have always been subjected to at the hands of the police. This isn't the kind of equality anyone should want.

[sdanielmcev]

I run my own business and wouldn't live in Thailand again if you paid me a million dollars a week. My favourite Thailand memory was having a bloke, smartly dressed in a suit and tie, begging me to buy his drinks in a bar because he'd run out of money... I also enjoy watching farangs live in shop doorways in Bangkok and under bridges. That's clearly got success written all over it.

Unless you're actually working (and teaching English does not count as "working") the only reason to live in Issan is you can't afford to live anywhere else.

You paint a very narrow picture of Thailand. Expat life here can be much broader and fulfilling that that. Obviously it's not the life for most ... you included, evidently ... and that's fine. No shame in that. But as for me, I love it.

But that said, in my 70 years of life I have reinvented myself a few times, and I may well do so again. I don't foresee my residing outside of Thailand any time soon, but I may very well do just that. Either full-time residency back in USA, or Europe, back to South America ... who knows? I don't .... yet.

In your 70 years have you made a more inane comment "the only reason to live in Issan is you can't afford to live anywhere else?"

[mikebike]

You're not supposed to "fix" people's posts but I don't care but sometimes the mods do. I'm saying the laws and the application of those laws are racist but generally speaking most of the people are not. So, you're saying it is the people of colour (American?) who are the racists?

"Fixed it for ya" is a forum joke! Your post remains as written, The "edit" appears only in the reply!

Any who... What I am saying is that peeps of colour in the US see an unfair playing field, institutionalized racism and an ever-dwindling, culturally segregated, white population fooling themselves into believing there is no racism.

[mikebike]

White America is beginning to get just a taste of what black Americans have always been subjected to at the hands of the police. This isn't the kind of equality anyone should want.

No surprise, things always shake out to the lowest common denominator! No need to rise-up the peeps of colour when you can just marginalize middle and lower income whites instead... Hmmm, who gains from this?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I run my own business and wouldn't live in Thailand again if you paid me a million dollars a week. My favourite Thailand memory was having a bloke, smartly dressed in a suit and tie, begging me to buy his drinks in a bar because he'd run out of money... I also enjoy watching farangs live in shop doorways in Bangkok and under bridges. That's clearly got success written all over it.

Plenty of posters on TV that live under bridges!

[HeijoshinCool]

What does expat success look like? Teaching English for less than a grand a month, endless visa runs, and living in a toilet that you would never consider living in with a prostitue half your age? Because that looks like failure to me. I'd rather go home than end up worse off in South East Asia.

I've been an expat for way over a decade and the vast majority of expats I've encountered have "failed" by any sensible measuring stick.

Staying in a country doesn't make you a success. It's what you do with your life that determines that.

and you figure youre the one that has what it takes to decide if others are living a satisfying life? rather presumptious i must say.

.

It's called an opinion, and the OP asked him for it.

[sirineou]

Consider this scenario.

Not uncommon.

You tell all your friends and family in the west, I'm moving to Thailand to live for life. I'm selling my house, car, etc.

Then you show up again in two years or even ten.

Don't kid yourselves.

To those people, they will think you did not fulfill your intentions, regardless of the loaded word failure or not.

I find my self in agreement with JT on this subject

if one enters in to an endeavor , any endeavor, with a specific set of goals in mind, and one fails to achieve these goals, then that person has failed. at least as far as that particular endeavor is concerned.

I Have thought about this subject when trying to understand the reasons behind the unusual amount of animosity a large number of expats exhibit toward Thais. and Thailand

I think this animosity is directly proportional to the rate of failure.

People arrive here with unreasonable expectations, when they fail to realize those expectations, they rationalize their failure as the fault of the Thais, or Thailand, rather than their own failure to set reasonable expectations.

perhaps its because they, like you, mistakenly feel it to be failure.

if you have a goal and you fail to achieve that goal would you declare success or would you think you failed?

or would you rationalist your failure as something other than what it is?

[AYJAYDEE]

Consider this scenario.

Not uncommon.

You tell all your friends and family in the west, I'm moving to Thailand to live for life. I'm selling my house, car, etc.

Then you show up again in two years or even ten.

Don't kid yourselves.

To those people, they will think you did not fulfill your intentions, regardless of the loaded word failure or not.

I find my self in agreement with JT on this subject

if one enters in to an endeavor , any endeavor, with a specific set of goals in mind, and one fails to achieve these goals, then that person has failed. at least as far as that particular endeavor is concerned.

I Have thought about this subject when trying to understand the reasons behind the unusual amount of animosity a large number of expats exhibit toward Thais. and Thailand

I think this animosity is directly proportional to the rate of failure.

People arrive here with unreasonable expectations, when they fail to realize those expectations, they rationalize their failure as the fault of the Thais, or Thailand, rather than their own failure to set reasonable expectations.

perhaps its because they, like you, mistakenly feel it to be failure.

if you have a goal and you fail to achieve that goal would you declare success or would you think you failed?

or would you rationalist your failure as something other than what it is?

always either/or with you aint it. folks have goals, things turn out to be working out differently than they anticipated and they change their goal. its called adaptability!

[GuestHouse]

Hypersensitivity to the discussion of a subject is as sure a sign of 'hidden issues' on the subject as you'll get.

[Jacz]

I'd like to know what the OP refers to as 'expat failure'.

What is his/her definition of 'failure' ?

I own a crappy old car, had two sprogs with a Thai woman who I haven't married, I live more of my time in Thailand then I do the West, so fair enough to be classed as an expat ... so ... did I 'fail'?

.

I think you are definitely not an expat if you live a large chunk of time in your home country every year.

The roots that real expats have cut, you clearly have NOT cut them.

But you're free to think whatever you like.

I would class thinking you're an expat when you are objectively not an expat as a lie that you tell yourself (and here others).

Not suggesting it is superior or inferior to be an expat or not ... that's your choice how you wanna live residence-wise, just keeping it real.

I pretty much already provided a definition of expat failure ... having clear intentions on foreign residency and backing off from them when faced with reality.

People can go overboard here and try to hijack this thread into being only about the use of the word failure.

That was not my intention in starting the thread, so if that does happen, I would say that's a sign of a failed thread attempt (with a little help from my "friends").

Cheers, dude.

I am going to make an attempt to join this discussion.

I had no problems cutting roots and making a very happy substantial home for myself and my always welcome friends and family.

I took to life in Thailand like a duckling to water, not one second did I regret my move, nor do I now.

I put 100% of myself into my new life, and was welcomed with open arms ( and pockets ) which was understandable and reasonable;- with reasons I drew in like the fresh air, experienced and understood the Thai work ethics along with the Thai misunderstanding that I had more money than was healthy, so for them to relieve me of it was very generous of the Thai people currently in my thoughts as it all went to educate me much faster than any university could of the psychological attitude towards living hand to mouth, and the "poetic licence" needed to survival by work is to create work so that they can earn a living wage from, ingenious.

Especially when it is practically breaking every law in Thailand;- to wash your self, do your own cleaning, DIY, repairs and alterations to my home as a ferang.

To remain legal was sadly very difficult for me after the crash of the pound which halved my income overnight and cut my savings in half at a stroke;- hence no longer able to legally fulfil the requirements for my next OA visa, so I had even less to spend on travel backwards and forwards to my birth country to renew my O visa.

Even now not to be beaten by this unforeseen disaster I remained happy to say I was not breaking any laws of Thailand which would be very disrespectful as I continued to remain living in my home within the law of this chosen land, as opposed to existing in my birth country.

I wore dirty clothes and was satisfied to ignore the wrinkles so did not need to employ someone to iron my clothes and stuck the broom up my backside which saved me from doing any housework illegally.

We ate raw food or bought from the street traders any cooked food, saved hiring a cook of course, yes we can still make this work for us and remain legal.

What finally finished my life and dragged me back to my birth country kicking, protesting and crying from frustration objecting every which way I could I returned to face the music.

My birth country moved the goal posts and for my survival on my own money I was legally obliged to do it by the current government and the law in this dump called the UK as we/I can no longer take our money out of Europe so;-.

I now exist in a cold damp hovel the RSPCA would remove my pets if they knew as it literally is not fit for a dog to live in and I have 3.

We still have our house and furniture in Thailand ( standing empty apart from the gecko's ) which is a palace to where I now literally exist.

My health has gone down the toilet ( hog nam ) am allergic to the mould on the walls I cannot afford the alterations eg damp proof course, and building work required, I cannot afford to buy fresh food as I could in Thailand my situation is;- I failed to escape from my birth country as this government will stop my pension if I take it outside of Europe..........I am riddled with arthritis from the cold and damp, and if I did escape my birth country and could keep my money and return to Thailand which uncannily is more in touch with the British laws than the Brits has now changed the age for a woman to be able to get an OA visa from 50 to 65 over night, so without the benefit of a degree and ability to work in Thailand I now need to wait another 5 years to be old enough to retire to Thailand when 10 years ago I was the correct age ( old enough at 50 ) which is something I have NO control over, so I sit and wait for one or the other country to change its laws AGAIN or go to Spain or Greece and forget my lovely home friends and family living in Thailand.

[AYJAYDEE]

Hypersensitivity to the discussion of a subject is as sure a sign of 'hidden issues' on the subject as you'll get.

its also a sign of impatience with irrational subjects

[GuestHouse]

Hypersensitivity to the discussion of a subject is as sure a sign of 'hidden issues' on the subject as you'll get.

its also a sign of impatience with irrational subjects

Habitual impatience, habitual irritation over others expressing views one does not agree with.

Both point to hidden issues.

People who are happy with their life choices are seldom concerned over criticism others make of those choices. Its one of he defining characteristics of being happy with one's lot.

[mikebike]

@ Jacz:

Two thoughts...

1. A good English friend, who has resided in Thailand for a couple of decades, has been dealing with Brit govt regarding his disability benefit for a year now. Horrible business, demeaning and requiring multiple trips back to balmy old England...

2. How can British law govern your visa status in Thailand? Just come with tourist visa, convert to non-o then apply for extension based on age ... you only have to be 50.

[kungpao]

Society has pretty clearly demarked the definition of success

In your 'society' does the success of a orphaned, developing-world child reaching maturity safely and in good health, then going on to live a healthy and personally rewarding life equal the success of privileged child graduating from schools then going on to lead a life of monetary and material growth?

Are you trying to tell me that the majority of **** ups in this part of the world are Western orphans escaping care homes? I think you might want to recalibrate the advantages of growing up in the West and compare them to the disadvantages of growing up for most people in the 3rd World. Nearly every expat has had the benefit of a free education, free/subsidized healthcare, a decent diet, etc. the fact that they took all these advantages and turned them to living in a shack eating rubbish and drinking 20 lagers a day is not something to be proud of.

Suggest you speak for yourself about "living in a shack, eating rubbish and drinking 20 lagers a day". There are always exceptions, however, there are none that I know of living in this vicinity of Isaan, a city of over 40,000, although we do have the odd recluse.

I run my own business and wouldn't live in Thailand again if you paid me a million dollars a week. My favourite Thailand memory was having a bloke, smartly dressed in a suit and tie, begging me to buy his drinks in a bar because he'd run out of money... I also enjoy watching farangs live in shop doorways in Bangkok and under bridges. That's clearly got success written all over it.

Unless you're actually working (and teaching English does not count as "working") the only reason to live in Issan is you can't afford to live anywhere else.

I would have to disagree. I don't live there, yet. However, wife and I plan to lively farm there. Not perfect, but don't want a boss anymore, including customers from private business. Some of us have run the world and been everywhere and seen it all. Time to live In peaceful place. Farm. Whether in Thailand or where ever.

[mikebike]

..wife and I plan to lively farm there. Not perfect, but don't want a boss anymore, including customers from private business. Some of us have run the world and been everywhere and seen it all. Time to live In peaceful place. Farm. Whether in Thailand or where ever.

Before I comment, may I ask if your wife is Thai?

[kungpao]

Yes wife is Thai and has land. We live in Ameica. I told her I want to farm and live off land. It's what my recent ancestors did.

[Caitrin]

I'm just visiting Thailand, and so far, have no desire to move here. Vacation from time to time, but not live here.

That said, I am not just an expat, I'm an immigrant. I moved to Japan after finishing university, and aside from a brief time in grad school, I have lived in Japan as a legal resident for the past seven years, only leaving on fairly short trips. I'm public school teacher, and will be getting my Japanese teaching license so I can takeover a homeroom. I'm naturalising to Japan and will have Japanese nationality in about two years. I'm happily giving up American citizenship. I also have a full time journalism job. I was never a functional adult in the States, since I moved to Japan directly after university (with a short six months in Seoul, Korea and about a month in Sydney, Australia), and I have no idea what being an "American adult" even means. I'm essentially a Japanese adult. Why would I ever leave? Why would I want to, when I'm happy?

I've met a great deal of expat failures in Japan, many with stories mirroring some of those told about expat failures here in Thailand, but I don't think that applies to me, well ensconced in not one but two careers. I'm just an immigrant, and I think a lot of people in the West are used to immigration to their countries, they never really can fathom someone might end up making the choice to leave.