Left out in funeral ceremony at mother in laws funeral

[Destiny1990]

Do a test buy for her a car than wait for the next funeral.

[transam]

Forget it, go have a few beers, BUT, keep stuff in your gray cells........

[hansnl]

On 04/02/2017 at 7:30 AM, FritsSikkink said:

You are talking about hookers not girlfriends or wives

Oh?

Really?

[elgordo38]

On 3/26/2017 at 9:28 AM, dutchman said:

Living with her 5 years and take care her good is apentently not good enough

as i dont buy her a house or a car.

There you go laddie you answered your own question. She figured after 5 years a house and a car where not in the cards.

[Tony125]

On 3/26/2017 at 9:45 AM, dutchman said:

i know the mother about 10 years and i live with my gf 5 yrs now

visit the family regulary but not to many times.

the mom always was nice to me and ask me to take care her daughter at the dads funeral.

When the father died it was the mom's duty to arrange things with maybe some help from her daughter (your GF) but when the mom died  especially if she was older daughter everything fell on her so would not have had time to baby sit you.  Your mom still around ? Passed already ? If had how would you deal with the loss and responsibility of handling everything falling on you ?  Cut her some slack for goodness sakes. Its not about  if the poor farang is taken care of and consoled at this time , its her mother her trauma.  No empathy for her? It was no loss or sorrow for you.

[NoshowJones]

On 3/26/2017 at 9:00 PM, roo860 said:

Taking a back seat is sometimes better. Let them get on with it, their way, their style.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app
 

That's what I did when my MiL died two years ago, I did ask her first though and she agreed with me.

[steven100]

On 31/03/2017 at 8:30 AM, steven100 said:

You may have been with her 5 yrs .....  but you may as well have been 10 yrs, no different as you haven't provided a roof over her head or the families head, you haven't given a car or anything really ...  just bonking the daughter.

 

So until you are serious about the relationship,  thats how it is.

Surely you can see ....   she wants security and committment ...  nothing wrong with that.

as commented above ... what did you give that was a committment   ?????

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, csabo said:

You chose poorly.  My gf's mom is dead, her dad went MIA shortly after that and she hates her sister.  I'm the only family she's got and my wallet likes it that way.  I say get an orphan if you can find one.

Yes get an orphan, but make sure they don't have any close relations for obvious reasons.

[Jai Dee]

A couple of off-topic posts have been removed from this thread.

[steven100]

30 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

Yes get an orphan, but make sure they don't have any close relations for obvious reasons.

You may have been with her 5 yrs .....  but you may as well have been 10 yrs, no different as you haven't provided a roof over her head or the families head, you haven't given a car or anything really ...  just bonking the daughter.

 

So until you are serious about the relationship,  thats how it is.

Surely you can see ....   she wants security and committment ...  nothing wrong with that.

sorry possum, i just mentioned that I've had 10 beers already and will sleep real soon ... i;m a bit pi***d as everyday ....  )

[NoshowJones]

7 minutes ago, steven100 said:

You may have been with her 5 yrs .....  but you may as well have been 10 yrs, no different as you haven't provided a roof over her head or the families head, you haven't given a car or anything really ...  just bonking the daughter.

 

So until you are serious about the relationship,  thats how it is.

Surely you can see ....   she wants security and committment ...  nothing wrong with that.

sorry possum, i just mentioned that I've had 10 beers already and will sleep real soon ... i;m a bit pi***d as everyday ....  )

OK, you win, you get p****d every day as you always say

[muzmurray]

3 hours ago, maxisrael said:

Try to go from Hua Hin to Chiang Rai  and you will still be in Thailand approx 1080 kilometers......

 

984.7Km according to my maps ?

[SOTIRIOS]

...if you are 'footing the bill'....then of course it is ridiculous....

 

...so maybe time to go.....

 

...if that is the case......hope you have not laid out too much in those 5 years....

 

 

[bazza73]

I don't understand why the OP would be upset about this.

In his place, I would have buggered off to a nearby bar and read my Kindle over a quiet drink.

As falangs, we can never fathom the intricacies of Thai family relationships, so why bother trying?

[gemguy]

You broke up / split up with her??

 

You lucky dog you...

YOUR FREE  ..FREE........ Your free to do as you please......

Wah-Hoo........ Party Time.....

Do not hesitate

[smotherb]

On 4/2/2017 at 1:40 AM, swissie said:

Op has already isolated the problem: He took care of her for 5 years, but diden't buy house nor car. There is the problem.

Once more, this is a good "manual" for the Farangs. = To assure love and symphaty: Buy house, car(s) and generally just keeep on forking money over to the "Family". Matrimonial happyness is assured. By all means, don't stop.
If not adhering to this concept, the Farang will soon be classified as a long nosed foreighn subject, with no practical (financial) use for GF/Wife/Family.
It's always back to square 1 in Thailand: No money, no honey. Until Farangs comprehend this very basic concept, the grass will have to turn blue and the sky will have to turn green.
Cheers.

Is that defensive humor, swissie?

[4MyEgo]

On 02/04/2017 at 4:40 AM, swissie said:

Op has already isolated the problem: He took care of her for 5 years, but diden't buy house nor car. There is the problem.

Once more, this is a good "manual" for the Farangs. = To assure love and symphaty: Buy house, car(s) and generally just keeep on forking money over to the "Family". Matrimonial happyness is assured. By all means, don't stop.
If not adhering to this concept, the Farang will soon be classified as a long nosed foreighn subject, with no practical (financial) use for GF/Wife/Family.
It's always back to square 1 in Thailand: No money, no honey. Until Farangs comprehend this very basic concept, the grass will have to turn blue and the sky will have to turn green.
Cheers.

Of course that's the problem.

 

To be fair, all women, want security, especially from a farang, yes yes yes there are others that want just the money and be done with it very early in the "relationship", and this can be in any country around the world, but lets have a listen here, she was with him for 10 years, living with him for 5 years, as a father of 3 girls, if he was in my house I would be asking my daughter what the hell she is doing with this cheap Charlie.

 

I wonder who is taking care of who, sure she probably looking after him domestically wise, and he probably looking after her monetary wise, otherwise they wouldn't be together for so long, with her hoping for her future to be a little more secure with a car and a house, I call that a fall back position, its a way of life here, and no different back home, i.e. the Jones and Smiths, but of course here in Thailand if things fail, you only lose about 10% of your worth, otherwise you were broke going into the relationship and ended up worse off.

 

He also sounds very needy and should not be looking for sympathy, but supporting her through her loss and not thinking about himself, did I mention cheap Charlie, yes I think I did, my Mrs has a big house, a car in her name, a bike, furniture and the rest, we have been together 10 years, she deserves it all, she puts me 1st, our kids 2nd, then her family when required, the way it should be, and like I and others have said, only invest as much as your prepared to lose, its give and take, and if you think chicks are with you because of your good looks, have another look at yourself 555

 

To be fair, she could also be a ball breaker, I don't know, just going off the information at hand from the source, but for a chick to be living with a cheap Charlie for 5 years is showing desperation, no insult intended ?

 

Edited April 4, 2017 by 4MyEgo

[hobobo]

On 27/03/2017 at 8:07 AM, dutchman said:

I did sit back all the time but i was left out in the part taking me up to

the final say goodbye.

I know about this when her father died i never complain.

we did the envelop exchange at her fathers house together and at the temple she took me go up together to the coffin same as all visitors do to say last goodbye.

and her father i d only saw 1 time

Now she just handed me her bag and go up alone and left me behind.

Her explanation was i d say goodbye to her mom at the  house already.

Don't assume your cultural values are universal! Maybe your ego made you to lose a partner; it couldn't have been so bad if you were together for 10 years. I'd say, Your Loss mate

[Covertjay]

I have rarely read anything here that was so incredibly shallow as this. 

Totally. The true cynics are never disappointed but oh so joyless no? And this dude added sexism and cultural contempt for a triple wammy.

How can some of us be happily married with kids? Maybe like every relationship you meet people halfway and realise you're in this thing together. No more me and you if there's an us.

[madusa]

On 2017/3/25 at 7:59 PM, whoareyou said:

When the golden goose didn't deliver she wanted out. That's pretty clear

I wouldn't worry about the funeral now, sounds like you got the cold shoulder. Her mind already made up, now she just needed a good fight to to justify it.

I am not being busy body, but you can't really figure out what was happening from a few short sentences of the relationship.

How to figure out what is happening when you can only hear only one side of the story?

[Destiny1990]

What is your urge as a farang to be on a stage during a Thai funeral?i would be perfectly happy being on the background.

[dansbkk]

Perhaps this line in your question sums up the situation the best.

 

You said.

"this was all in opposit with her dad s funeral where drag me to do all ceremonial things with her

together"

 

Maybe your girlfriend felt you weren't really interested in attending her Dads funeral since you had to be dragged to all the ceremonial things and she was cutting you a break by not dragging you along to all the funeral ceremonies for her Mom?

[steven100]

It's not rocket science ...

she wants security, commitment and obviously that is the house talk & family assistance.

You haven't put anything up ....  just bonking her week in week out ....

[F4UCorsair]

 

You were included at her father's funeral, but not her mother's.

 

She'd made a decision, based on you not being the generous provider, and just generated grounds for a confrontation.  If it was otherwise, she would have explained the situation up front.

 

I think you said you'd split??  If not, dump her!

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

I don't go to many funerals, just don't care for them, but it seems to me that it is up to me to get up and view the corpse if I want to - - there are no formalities and invitations... I just don't see any slight here... unless you want there to be one.

[1FinickyOne]

On April 2, 2560 BE at 7:30 AM, FritsSikkink said:

You are talking about hookers not girlfriends or wives

 

On April 2, 2560 BE at 1:40 AM, swissie said:

Op has already isolated the problem: He took care of her for 5 years, but diden't buy house nor car. There is the problem.

Once more, this is a good "manual" for the Farangs. = To assure love and symphaty: Buy house, car(s) and generally just keeep on forking money over to the "Family". Matrimonial happyness is assured. By all means, don't stop.
If not adhering to this concept, the Farang will soon be classified as a long nosed foreighn subject, with no practical (financial) use for GF/Wife/Family.
It's always back to square 1 in Thailand: No money, no honey. Until Farangs comprehend this very basic concept, the grass will have to turn blue and the sky will have to turn green.
Cheers.

Why do you put this out as Thailand - - I think in most parts of the world providing for a family if you are able is an expected thing. Would a Swiss man who made decent money but shared nothing with his family be looked upon well? 

[catman20]

On 4/2/2017 at 7:30 AM, FritsSikkink said:

You are talking about hookers not girlfriends or wives

all the same arnt they ???????

 

 

 only joking just trying to see if anyone biting this morning.

[chuang]

Farang kit neow.. 

[Tony125]

Guess the OP doesn't really want to hear opinions as he hasn't been back to view replys since the 28th of March , 2 days after he posted.

[Covertjay]

How did they invent copper wire?
Two Dutch men fighting over a penny!