I'm trying to find any informal groups of old expats who get together for lunch and conversation.  Other old, fat, bald, curmudgeons like myself, who've been in Thailand enough years so that “rose colored glasses” are long gone.  Get together to talk about life here and maybe can help each other about the inevitable problems that come up.  Anything like that around Bangkok??

 

But daytime only, because thoughtful conversation impossible if “meet for a beer” in a bar with loud noise, pestering women, etc.

 

As for that web site “Meetups”, I've tried a couple of those already:  Waste of time.

 

When I've mentioned this other other expats, all say, “Great idea!”  But when I then say, “How about Wednesday, the 15th, at Bourbon Street restaurant,” then the excuses start:   “Can't. I play golf on Wednesdays.”  “Can't. The wife goes to Big-C on Wednesdays, and I have to help her carry the bags”. Etc.

 

Years ago (I've been here 15 years) old expats used to say hello to each other, strike up conversations, sometimes continue over lunch or just coffee.  Had many pleasant and worthwhile conversations like that.  These days, not at all -- in my experience.  Is there any way to find pleasant conversations like that among old expats here?

"Get together to talk about life here and maybe can help each other about the inevitable problems that come up"

Looks like a session of moaning about the Thais and their way of doing things.

OP, I feel if I turned up to one of your meet-ups and I still enjoy Thailand without any problems, We wouldn't have anything in common.

 

Why not list a couple of positives that could be part of the discussions.

 

Maybe not intentional but It sounds like you want to find some groups to wallow in the negative.

 

21 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

"Get together to talk about life here and maybe can help each other about the inevitable problems that come up"

Looks like a session of moaning about the Thais and their way of doing things.

 

What's wrong with people complaining and letting off some steam?

 

You think your post is any better?

I expect topics of conversations among old expats something along these lines:

• I need to buy good quality set of open-end wrenches -- NOT made in China? 
• My car has been in the shop for 3 weeks already.  How can I get them to speed up the repair?
• I keep getting headaches from street food.  In Thai, how do you say, "Don't put any MSG in my food." ?
• Is it worthwhile ordering on Lazada -- or just too much trouble?
• What's happening at your condo with any Air BnB checkins?
• What's been your experience with Grab?  Do you find private cars better than taxis, or the other way around?
• After all these years, my Thai language is still pretty thin.  Should I take some classes?
• Restaurants with good "home style" meals are getting harder to find.  Any recommendations?
• Have you tried the grocery delivery services from Villa, TOPS, Lotus, and others?

And, finally, on a really positive note, I will reveal my secret source of top quality hamburger in Bangkok.  (Note: It's not cheap, and I will only reveal it in person, not on any public forums.  In fact, thinking about it now, that would be a good location for a lunch meeting!)

 

.

38 minutes ago, RLAretired said:

And, finally, on a really positive note, I will reveal my secret source of top quality hamburger in Bangkok.  (Note: It's not cheap, and I will only reveal it in person, not on any public forums.  In fact, thinking about it now, that would be a good location for a lunch meeting!)

Aha...the old bribery technique. (Just kidding)

37 minutes ago, james.d said:

Aha...the old bribery technique.

 

Yes, exactly.

 

Some clever readers here will ask, if you want answers to those questions, why not just post on Thai Visa?  Well, I already have solutions or experience for every topic on my list above.  On those topics I can OFFER positive information based on many years experience. 

 

So, here's a bit more bribery to encourage lunch meetings:

 

Yesterday I went to ตม. (Bangkok) to ask about any new requirements for Visa Extension based on Retirement, specifically insurance.  I spoke with an officer in khaki uniform with gold stripes on the shoulders -- not some flunky at the information counter.  I learned something useful.

 

Also yesterday at ตม. I spoke to three khaki uniforms about visa agents there.  I learned a few things from their "body language".

 

Finally, my use of "ตม."  in this post.   If someone wants to ask about pros and cons of learning the local language, I'm available to discuss that over lunch.  (I think there are more "cons" than "pros", but too late now for me to un-learn.)

 

.

 

Sounds negative, depressing and low self esteem.

But, there are so many here like that should be easy to find.

Saw a group that fits your description at Kiwi at Breakfast last week maybe enquire there.

Soi 8.

Seems like there were quite a few cheapskate, retiree expats spending a few hours at T21 food court.. I quit going in there a while back.  Maybe some of the piers would be a good meeting place.  Maybe not Nonthaburi, but they have places to sit, pay toilets, two 711, and countless vendors.. always a little breeze out there.  I did a sweep of Sathorn, Sukhumvit, and KSR the other evening.  Saw some very inspiring street food around Sathorn, but nothing grabbed my attention around Sukhumvit, and KSR was on the way home.. 90 for a large Chang, but maybe not even cold.. I can think of 500 better places to party.. 

 

Bitter or not, I agree with the OP about the decline of expat friendliness, here, over the years.. but there has also been a decline in the famous Thai friendliness over the years, too.  

 

 

Well being here only 15 years hardly qualifies you. Suggest you post similar in another 15 years by which time any venue proposed may have safe and accessible wheel chair ramps. And by the way many of us old farts still enjoy the pestering women and loud music so it strikes me you are living in the wrong country, try Belgium, should suit you better. ????

The last paragraph of the OP I agree with.

 

When I first came here the number one thing people were telling me was: Don't trust expats.

 

Kind of sad but my experience now after 10 years sadly,  pretty much confirms this.

 

A recent "friend" said he cannot qualify for the new rules and asked me to loan him 800, 000 b..

Sorry bucko no can do bye bye.

 

I pretty much stick to golf for any socializing.  Four hours and head home.

what i can't figure out is :   If all the expats say that you can't trust any expats...........  is that like saying

that four thousand, two hundred and sixty two times zero is  zero ?

 in a bar with loud noise, pestering women, etc.

 

What are you on about . 97% of the old fat bald men are only here for the pestering women because the women back home dont even notice them !

Just keep in mind that nowadays talking among old friends that even nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Troll comment removed.

On 5/28/2019 at 1:08 PM, bkk6060 said:

The last paragraph of the OP I agree with.

 

When I first came here the number one thing people were telling me was: Don't trust expats.

 

Kind of sad but my experience now after 10 years sadly,  pretty much confirms this.

 

A recent "friend" said he cannot qualify for the new rules and asked me to loan him 800, 000 b..

Sorry bucko no can do bye bye.

 

I pretty much stick to golf for any socializing.  Four hours and head home.

old golfers never die.    they just lose their balls 

On 5/28/2019 at 1:08 PM, bkk6060 said:

The last paragraph of the OP I agree with.

 

When I first came here the number one thing people were telling me was: Don't trust expats.

 

Kind of sad but my experience now after 10 years sadly,  pretty much confirms this.

 

A recent "friend" said he cannot qualify for the new rules and asked me to loan him 800, 000 b..

Sorry bucko no can do bye bye.

 

I pretty much stick to golf for any socializing.  Four hours and head home.

Strange. Whats the big deal here about not trusting expats? Assuming you have one or two very close friends then the rest are usually acquaintances or just the bloke at the bar your having a chat with.

Met more con artists in the west than I ever met here. Expats here are pretty laid back, have a chat in a bar and then go home. 

 

I find those that hide in a Thai ghetto because they hate expats are usually just anti social and not received well by others and thats a fact!

17 hours ago, madmen said:

Strange. Whats the big deal here about not trusting expats?

 

Certainly if a person has similar agendas and thinking it may be difficult to figure out.

 

Gawd some miserable responses here, OP had a reasonable idea and gets dumped on from all around.

 

OP if you already have some people lined up for this, still plenty of decent, non-plastic, non lowlife, venues round lower Suk, even Soi 4.

 

If you haven't and your budget can stand it the British Club might be worth a try. They do daily and weekly memberships so you can test the water first.

On 5/29/2019 at 1:58 AM, overherebc said:

Just keep in mind that nowadays talking among old friends that even nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

wish I could remember was nostalgia was ????

On further reflection "lunch" might not be the best time. To quote from a post a while ago "there is no daytime drinking scene in bangkok now". If you are stuck to.that time of day the Robin Hood by Phrompong BTS  could be worth a try.

 

Otherwise happy-hour ish between say 4 and 7 would be better.  The Kiwi in Soi 8 as mentioned, Chequers Soi 4 or the Black Swan Soi 19 possibly fit the bill. Happy hunting, unfortunately I am not in Bangkok so much these days and neither unfortunately do I drink so much.

 

i'd be interested in something more cultural as i'm not interested in alcohol, bars or anyone working in bars. i have a couple of mates and we tend to meet in parks (season permitting) and coffee shops and as well as taking about our lives (past and present) we all have an interest in movies, books, current affairs and culture both thai and back home.

On 5/28/2019 at 8:06 AM, RLAretired said:

I keep getting headaches from street food.  In Thai, how do you say, "Don't put any MSG in my food." ?

Mai sai pong chu rot. 

I got this at just about any bar i went into, except it always turned negative, about peoples problems in some way.

 

One of my biggest pet peeves about thailand. There just never seemed to be "normal" happy people on vacation without money problems or over the top complaints, like you might find in france, THe bahamas or other areas, and i dont think it was me since i consciously tried to avoid this stuff on many occasions without success, so i just become less trusting and a bit mored sceptical each time, peolle pick up on it and things get worse over time, eventually im an lld grump before you even open your mouth. others mileage may vary.

6 hours ago, lamyai3 said:

Mai sai pong chu rot. 

 

That's a helpful example of why I'm looking for face-to-face conversations with other, old expats.  Lamyai3 has some knowledge of Thai language and is willing to help.  And, in turn, I could help him do even better in that situation, because his suggestion above is not complete and, sometimes, will not be understood by the waitress or cook.

 

This topic is about conversation with other old expats, not about MSG or Thai language, so I won't go into depth here:  just enough to make the point.  There are three ways to refer to MSG in Thailand:  "pong chu rot" is only one of them.  A face-to-face conversation could quickly and easily bring out the differences.  And, could help others to learn and practice the essential tones for saying that.

 

I hope that example helps explain why I'm looking for in-person conversations with other experienced expats.

 

(And I welcome private messages about any of this.)

 

2 hours ago, fhickson said:

I got this at just about any bar i went into ... eventually im an lld grump before you even open your mouth.

 

Hello from one old grump to another.  (In English, can also say, "curmudgeon".)  I agree with you about going into any bars.  Same experience for me.  That is exactly why, in my opening post, I specified day time (lunch) and no bars.  Thank you for emphasizing that in your post above.

21 hours ago, rott said:

OP if you already have some people lined up for this, still plenty of decent, non-plastic, non lowlife, venues round lower Suk, even Soi 4.

 

Thank you for that advice, but venue is not the question here:  have countless suitable locations all over Bangkok.  I've even had pleasant conversation at food court in Lotus.   The challenge is to find other intelligent expats with whom to enjoy those conversations.   I don't expect to find such expats anywhere near Suk 4.

 

(To discuss the more "delicate" aspects of this topic, I welcome private messages.)

.

 

i see one member here has mentioned robin hood near phrom phong BTS.  i would also recommend trying that one.  it is typically quiet and you won't get pestered by women.  lots of older guys in there reading newspapers, sipping non alcholic beverages and such during the daytime.  i think they do a sunday roast and that might be a good time to catch some regulars.  if you meet some likeable folk, can meet a different day but sunday might be a could day to start.  alot of people recommend the 'value' breakfast but i haven't heard much about the lunch offerings other than sundays.  maybe a late breakfast would also allow some opportunity to meet some regulars.

 

edit:  i've been to RH once but i prefer the noisy bars with ladies so haven't been back.  i am in that area often and can see what's going on at RH through the windows as i stroll by.

27 minutes ago, buick said:

might be a good time to catch some regulars. 

 

I appreciate advice, but apparently my opening post was not clear enough ... The goal is thoughtful, intelligent conversation about expat life in Thailand.   That just doesn't happen in a bar, any bar, even a nice place like Robin Hood.   (I used to live nearby.)

 

What a marvellous idea, thanks for posting. 
PM
Good to see some positivity here, instead of the usual moaning and complaining.