Don't make that classic mistake.

[kilslug]

I was a newbie to Thailand and I made the classic mistake many first time visitors to the country make. Dating a massage girl. Actually it's more typical to date a bar girl. I don't know of many massage girl stories but I assume they're out there too. I mainly just want to put this story out for educational purposes. I know plenty of people who have been visiting or living in Thailand for a long time will see this as preaching to the choir but It keeps happening to people so I think there's good reason to share these stories so others don't make the same mistakes.

I was on holiday in Phuket on the way to find a gym. Already had been hassled by quite a few massage girls and had ignored all of them. I didn't actually know that almost every massage parlor in Thailand is a front for prostitution but given how much attention these girls were giving me I figured that out pretty quickly. One girl caught my eye because she was very attractive. She also took a much less pushy approach and spoke extremely good English. She was just less in my face and had a softer demeanor somehow. She asked if I wanted a massage for 200 baht. I said I didn't want a massage and was just looking for a gym.  She said that was totally fine and asked for my phone to show me where to go on google maps. We sat down in the shop veranda. She put her head on my shoulder played with my phone for a few minutes and showed me where to go. I thanked her and and then went to the gym for a workout session.  On the way back I passed her shop again and she shouted my name to get my attention. I ignored her and kept walking. She shouted a second time and I decided I was being rude so I crossed the street to see her. She walked up to me and asked If I would like to go out with her and her friend to a Buffet. I didn't really have an all positive feeling about going out to dinner with a prostitute and her friend but she did appear to have a nice temperament and she was very good looking so I didn't want to say no. 

I'll skip over a lot of the details here but after our first date I found I enjoyed spending time with her and we spent two weeks together in Phuket doing various things. She had to work a lot of the time so sometimes I would meet her after midnight to take her out to a club and then back to my hotel. I had to pay the shop if i wanted to take her out early. Probably a scam of some kind and she was keeping that money for herself. I can't imagine farrang taking massage girls out of the parlor on dates isn't worked into the system somehow. It's probably like the commission system for bar girls and the number of drinks you buy them. I refused to pay one night and had an argument with her about it telling her I thought it was just another form of prostitution. She started crying when I said this so I backed off and decided I didn't want the drama. I apologized to her even though I wasn't the least bit sorry and knew there was some form of finical exploitation going on. 

She always took me to the same club. Sometimes I would pay and sometimes she would pay. In reality I don't think she paid anything. Seemed like she knew everyone at the club extremely well and had some kind of arrangement with them. She brings them in customers and the gets free access I imagine. There was also this spin the wheel game that she would play and win at every single night which I imagine was some underhanded way she would get paid. I'm just guessing. No idea how she and the club set these things up but there was some obvious underhanded deals going on. I was getting sex affection and a lot of attention from a good looking girl so none of this bothered me all that much. She was also a single mother with two children and claimed that both partners had cheated on her which was a story I was very skeptical of but thought "Yeah ok, maybe."

She asked me If I wanted to be her boyfriend towards the end of the holiday. I had put every suspicious thing that had happened at the back of my mind and was feeling very addicted and affectionate towards her. I added her as my girlfriend on Facebook kissed her goodbye and headed home. I told her I had a great time with and said I would like to plan another holiday with her in a couple of months.  She texted and video chatted me everyday. Didn't mind at all because I liked the attention. Assured me she wasn't cheating on me and I could trust her. Many things happened during that time that made me suspect she was cheating and I couldn't trust her. For one thing she would always say her phone was about to run out of battery and she needed to charge it and I wouldn't hear from her until the next day. She would video chat me from the female toilets in the club that we would visit together. She would take frequent toilet breaks with me while we were playing pool. This is why I knew that there was a good chance there was guy in the club with that she was with. Why didn't I confront her about this? Because why would I? Nobody who cheats tells the truth about it. 

I go to see her a second time and stay at her apartment. This is where the nail in the coffin happens. A few days into the holiday I catch what can only be the clap from her. All the symptoms to a tea. I had not been having sex with anyone else during those two months away from her so It was definitely from her. We were in Pattaya at the time and after an argument she takes us to a near by clinic which was clearly the worst clinic ever because they took my urine sample in a pint glass. We both got tested and I know she got a nurse to lie to me about her test results because I asked the doctor at the clinic about her results on our second appointment and he gave me a very different story. I asked her to go to the hospital a few days later to get another test and some better medicine and she refused claiming her period had just started and she couldn't get examined. Fortunately I did convince her to take me and I got some better medicine than the <deleted> the clinic had prescribed me. She later went to private hospital to pick up some antibiotics. (Go figure)

I kind of just pretended I was stupider than I was (which you can guess is pretty stupid by reading this story) and convinced her I believed she didn't cheat on me and I still wanted to be in a relationship with her even though I didn't at this point. I would have had to of payed a lot of money to fly home early so I decided I would stick it out with her until my departure date. We were still having some fun and seeing some nice places and I knew I would miss her after breaking up with her so why not make the most of it I thought. Wasn't like I totally hated her at all. I was just very disappointed. Since these suspicions had been building up in my mind a while I wasn't completely surprised when it happened. I felt angry at her for sure but I also felt a fair bit of pity. You could argue I was the idiot and victim in this situation but she's having sex with multiple tourists a month, catching STD's from them and believing these games she is playing are somehow bringing her closer to her goals of achieving a more prosperous life is delusional. There are plenty of men who are ahead of the game and will chew girls like this up and spit them out. You couldn't trust her to hold on to a worthy investment to save her life. To wrap up this story she never admitted to cheating or giving me the STD. She did briefly when I put her under a lot of stress and pressure but would always resort back to claiming innocence later. She broke up with me and tried to get back together about a week later. I told her I didn't want to. 
 

 

 

[steven100]

geeze .....  my life is so boring compared to yours

[samsensam]

jackanory.

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, kilslug said:

You could argue I was the idiot and victim in this situation but she's having sex with multiple tourists a month,

An attractive massage girl working in a good spot will be banging 8 guys a day.

Enjoy the ride, forget your jealousy, take the antibiotics.

Edited February 6, 2020 by BritManToo

[tonray]

Is there a short version ?

[kilslug]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

An attractive massage girl working in a good spot will be banging 8 guys a day.

Oh I know. I'm talking about the guys outside of her work. She had fair few Farrang guys she was barebacking and keeping in touch with I'm fairly sure. 

[worgeordie]

Another first time poster with a novel .

regards Worgeordie

[Denim]

That was the good thing about the Gettysburg address. It was succinct in its brevity.

 

The abridged version :

 

Dated a bar girl but it didn't work out.

 

 

 

Edited February 6, 2020 by Denim

[RichardColeman]

Would not feel too bad about it, I imagine that catching a dose of the clap is a big - if not promoted - club among expats 

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, kilslug said:

Oh I know. I'm talking about the guys outside of her work. She had fair few Farrang guys she was barebacking and keeping in touch with I'm fairly sure. 

I've been banging everything that moves for the past ten years.

Only been asked to use a condom twice.

Barebacking is the norm.

[ezzra]

Preaching to the choir my friend... many of us been there and done that, one of those caveats that comes with living in this country...

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, RichardColeman said:

Would not feel too bad about it, I imagine that catching a dose of the clap is a big - if not promoted - club among expats 

Easiest disease in the world to cure.

I've been coughing and bunged up for the past month with the flu ..... would swap for the clap in a second.

5 days of Amoxcillin 500, and all the symptoms are gone after the first day.

[Denim]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've been banging everything that moves for the past ten years.

 

Note to self :

 

Stand perfectly still if in this posters vicinity.

[tonray]

25 minutes ago, Denim said:

That was the good thing about the Gettysburg address. It was succinct in its brevity.

 

The abridged version :

 

Dated a bar girl but it didn't work out.

 

 

 

'Fourty Bar Fines and seven years ago, my buddies introduced me to Pattaya"

[CharlieH]

A path well trodden !

Same old song but slightly different lyrics.

 

 

[Pravda]

I don't understand. 

 

Are you getting back together? 

[kilslug]

7 minutes ago, Pravda said:

I don't understand. 

 

Are you getting back together? 

LOL. Some guys might get back together with a girl who gave them an STD but that's a deal breaker for me. 

[Orton Rd]

41 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

Another first time poster with a novel .

regards Worgeordie

Getting so obvious too

[Skallywag]

1 hour ago, kilslug said:

We were in Pattaya at the time and after an argument she takes us to a near by clinic which was clearly the worst clinic

Dude, I got the "clap" from a "normal" girl in the USA in 1979, what is your point?  It can happen anywhere.

Lessons learned.

Peace

 

 

Edited February 6, 2020 by Skallywag

[Skallywag]

18 minutes ago, Pravda said:

I don't understand. 

 

Are you getting back together? 

Why not, like keeping a used car, you don't want to buy another because you have already fixed all the problems with that car.  555

Peace

[potless]

55 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

Would not feel too bad about it, I imagine that catching a dose of the clap is a big - if not promoted - club among expats 

The one thing tat bothers me is H.I.V. I dont want that again.

[RotBenz8888]

32 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

A path well trodden !

Same old song but slightly different lyrics.

 

 

Pin this post as a template for "newbies"?

[ChipButty]

The worst I ever got was Crabs after 20 years in Thailand

[AhFarangJa]

59 minutes ago, Denim said:

 

Note to self :

 

Stand perfectly still if in this posters vicinity.

Personally I would feel safer sitting down........

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, AhFarangJa said:

Personally I would feel safer sitting down........

Just don't bend over.

[impulse]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

An attractive massage girl working in a good spot will be banging 8 guys a day.

Enjoy the ride, forget your jealousy, take the antibiotics.

 

Screw the antibiotics.  This ain't the '70s.  There's stuff out there that they can't cure.  Wear a condom.  Then get tested anyway.

 

Edited February 6, 2020 by impulse

[Puchaiyank]

It's a business...you are a client...she gets rewarded for being attractive and nice.

 

She did not cheat...she just serviced some other customers...

 

Realizing you are just another paying customer will help you put things in proper perspective in Thailand...????

[impulse]

8 minutes ago, Puchaiyank said:

It's a business...you are a client...she gets rewarded for being attractive and nice.

 

She did not cheat...she just serviced some other customers...

 

Realizing you are just another paying customer will help you put things in proper perspective in Thailand...

 

Unless you paid extra for the girlfriend experience.

 

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, kilslug said:

I go to see her a second time and stay at her apartment.

Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but from reading your novel, I have come to the conclusion that you feel duped.

 

She is a massage girl, it is a paying job, she sees many customers and services their needs for payment and they, "the customers" are glad to pay for the service, why are you so angry ?

 

Yes she probably did sleep around with others, how else is she supposed to survive, you know income, something we all need, i.e. unless you were sending her money to survive on, but I doubt that as you come across from your novel as a cheap Charlie, just saying, after all you stayed at her apartment second time around.

 

As for the clap, yes you would be more exposed to it by sleeping with a girl working in a massage or bar girl environment, roll of the dice really, you could get herpes and be the carrier for decades without knowing you had it until it becomes fully blown while having infected many others in the process.

 

Ok, so she gave you the clap, your cured, I think at the end of the day, she escaped your jealous and possessive nature, much to her benefit, albeit she maybe looking for a better life, but with jealousy and possessiveness comes jail, no thanks.

 

Not everyone ends up in your situation, it's a numbers game, for example, I and many, many, many others here have married bar girls, massage girls and remain very happily in love decades later, other have gone to the wayside for a number of reasons which I would need to right a novel on, but it appears I am going down that path now, so I will wind it up.

 

It basically comes down to the luck of the draw and personalities, my wife of 13 years, worked as a bar girl when we met, it didn't bother me in the least, in fact just the other day I asked her about her customers, we speak openly, it was part of her life, no shame, it's just sex, and I used to take girls home after a night out in the old country after buying them drinks or out for dinner, here it's a little different, the girls don't have the opportunities that girls back in our countries have, so they have to do what they have to do, doesn't make them bad, although yes it does expose them to guys with the clap, who will infect them and then they will then infect us if they don't know they have it, me for one, I ended up with good old herpes, he visits me 4 times a year, which means she also has gets a visit from him too, don't know which one of us got him first as I never saw him before, as she claims as well, but at the end of the day, it's not a blame game, it's about understanding that sh-t happens.

 

If your looking to get into a relationship with a Thai "working" girl, do a little more research and perhaps make your next novel a cracker, inspiring all of us happy chappies ????

 

Edited February 6, 2020 by 4MyEgo

[Traubert]

7 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

 me for one, I ended up with good old herpes, he visits me 4 times a year, which means she also has gets a visit from him too,

 

Yep, you can't rely on women, but herpes will never abandon you.

 

Hello old friend, really good to see you once again, hello old friend....