Child with a thai woman??

[BritManToo]

22 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

looked down upon like the superstar Tata Young? 

Bit chunky for me.

[soalbundy]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You're right me & my pension are an important part of my family and are valued.

If I were broke, maybe not so much.

For myself I would disagree, don't put yourself down. Of course money and security are an important part of a relationship as are trust, understanding and decency but money isn't the be all and end all. I am not only a respected and loved member of my family but this extends to my relationship with the whole village where they have no financial gain from me, falang isn't a dirty word and we aren't all regarded as ATM's although we may sometimes be taken for granted, it all depends on the person, not money or nationality.

[Inala]

On 11/6/2020 at 2:19 AM, lovethai123 said:

everyone around me has a child. all my friends have a child. a child would give a purpose to life. else why should i work and rather go to the himalayas and become a sage. 

 

i cant marry this woman due to a few reasons mentioned already and primary being her job in a bar in pattaya. but child is allright. but everything is so damn complicated now. 

What's the problem with her having worked in a bar? There are literally thousands of guys here have made successful lifelong partners from ex bar girls....are you a prude? It sounds like you have may have some religious hang-ups.

 

To me, you're the one making the situation complicated.

[PatOngo]

On 11/5/2020 at 9:41 PM, Lacessit said:

Your child will be "luk krueng" ( half Thai ) and hence looked down on by all Thais. Unless you are going to bring the child up outside Thailand, forget it.

 

What a crock, I have 2 luk krueng kids 26 and 24 and never have they had a problem, have very good jobs and earn very good money!

[brianp0803]

I got confused at the earlier comments about planning to visit your child 5 days a month.  The goal is to have a child to visit and not a wife to spend time together.  Is the goal to have a Thai child to be able to get a visa?

 

I think good international school cost at least 600,000 Bhat a year.  Among well educated people, color is not important.  There might be discrimination of a child with an abscent father (5 days a month is an abscent father).

 

 

 

 

[Pilotman]

3 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

 

What a crock, I have 2 luk krueng kids 26 and 24 and never have they had a problem, have very good jobs and earn very good money!

Quite right.  My Thai/Brit daughter is envied by her cousins and Thai friends  and far from being looked down upon, they see her as a source of good information on how the rest of the world works for young people.  At 22 and with a UK university education, she has a great future ahead of her,  inevitably, not in Thailand .  

[BritManToo]

Just now, brianp0803 said:

I think good international school cost at least 600,000 Bhat a year.  Among well educated people, color is not important.  There might be discrimination of a child with an abscent father (5 days a month is an abscent father).

My kids Thai government school costs 6k x2 a year.

I doubt an absent father would be a problem as many kids have an absent mom and an absent dad and are looked after by grandma.

As a 65 year old guy picking up my 9 year old son after school, I fit in with all the other collecting grandparents.

[richard_smith237]

A good international school costs about 600-900,000 baht per year. 

A Thai Government school is far more expensive..... its costs a child their future. 

[jvs]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:57 PM, lovethai123 said:

That is why I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

Where will this be?And where will the child be?Get a puppy.

[richard_smith237]

2 hours ago, Tagged said:

Anyone here think thai is good caretaker when it comes to kids? 

 

I would never have kids with a thai woman before I was sure she could do the job by her self, and not need her mom and aunties to help out. Never et a thai who can manage to keep the home up to a standard, and taking care of kids at the same time. Not the mention raising a kid in thailand ? christ sake, no

 

Cleaning a decent western house takes 3 hours a week back home, but while a small flat here in Thailand they spend half a day with help. 

 

My Wife and many of her friends seem like perfect Mums - I can’t really fault my Wife on this front. 

During lockdown, while I was away at work, stuck outside of Thailand for Months my Wife had the additional task of homeschooling my son (with guidance from his school). My Wife met the challenges flawlessly, doubt didn’t cross my mind that she would struggle although admittedly she said she had tough days where the pressure of a 6 year old boy bored at home pushing her buttons became too much and she’d have to call me up for back up in dealing with him. 

 

(Outside of lockdown) we have a maid come twice per week to clean the house, do the laundry and Ironing etc... which eases the burden on my Wife - my thoughts on this are that its cheap, so why not. I take my car to the car wash instead of washing it myself, because its cheap.

 

So... Raising a kid in Thailand, there are pro’s and con’s but certainly drawing the generalised conclusion that Thai’s can’t manage to keep a home up to standard or take care of the kids at the same time is highly flawed. 

 

World wide people are different can only be evaluated on their individual merit for the variance across society, the attitudes, the education, the backgrounds are so varied any generalisation of an individual would be foolish. 

 

The generalisation’s I can make about brining up a child in Thailand are with regards to education and safety. 

The general attitudes towards Safety in Thailand is a major flaw, significantly greater observation and awareness is required - eyes on a stalk !! 

Schooling of any standard matching that of many of our home counties (UK for example) is expensive. The generalisation here is that a local school may compromise a Child's education in comparison to a local school in the UK or many Western countries. If I couldn’t place my child in an international school here, we wouldn’t be here - its a compromise I’m not prepared to make.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You're right me & my pension are an important part of my family and are valued.

If I were broke, maybe not so much.

That is probably universal... all cultures and beyond... me too. 

[soalbundy]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My kids Thai government school costs 6k x2 a year.

I doubt an absent father would be a problem as many kids have an absent mom and an absent dad and are looked after by grandma.

As a 65 year old guy picking up my 9 year old son after school, I fit in with all the other collecting grandparents.

It does however matter to the child. When my partner was divorced both her daughters asked her brother if they could stop calling him 'lung' (uncle) and instead call him papa. My step daughter in my household (not married, the father rejected her and the child) asked me, a young looking 72 year old, whether it was Ok to teach her daughter (8 months old) to call me papa as it was important for her when she starts kindergarten to have a papa in front of the other kids, so now I am no longer a 'Da' but instead a papa again. This obviously comes from her own experience as a small child, she was 5 years old when I 'took her over' and she was overjoyed to have a papa in the house, it's quite heart breaking what broken relationships do to kids.

[1FinickyOne]

55 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Bit chunky for me.

If you just listen to the music, chunky doesn't come across... sexy, naughty, b**chy... it's in the voice... 

[diks]

37 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

The general attitudes towards Safety in Thailand is a major flaw, significantly greater observation and awareness is required - eyes on a stalk !! 

Which is why I rely on my wife to make those kind of decisions here in Thailand. In the west, where we spent a number of years, it was me making those decisions.

Edited November 7, 2020 by diks
edited for clarification

[node]

Fathering a child is the easy part. Being a parent is a different thing.

It is not something one should take likely at all. 

Raising a child in a loving, caring home is a beautiful thing. A child growing up without one parent is hash.

Having a child with a Thai wife and with a Thai GF are two different things under Thai law.

You can read here, the many hoops you will have to go through to get legal rights to that child. There are tons of post here on this and you should take the time to read them.

While you are reading, have a search online for the English version of Thai Commercial and Civil code.

In there you will read all that you need to know about fathering a Thai child.

I urge you to thread carefully about your decision.

Read, read, read. Thailand, and having a Thai child is not the normal run of the mill that you may be thinking; there are lots of pitfalls along that road.

A good question you can asked yourself. " What benefit a child get's being a Thai throughout it's life". Write them down and compare with being a citizen of your own country.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Nanaplaza666]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:43 PM, lovethai123 said:

That is why I never leave this forum. Some are rude but most people try to help and give advice. I don't want to discuss it with the girl unless I am sure of a few things. I am not a thai man and if I have a child I will make sure he/ she has a better life than me. 

Did you grow up without a father ??? Because you are saying you just want to visit whenever you want and don't want to live here so that means your child will not see her/his father 24/7  . I think you should consider having a child in the first place if you are not 100% there in it's live before asking all these qeustions about visa's schools etc. If you want sensible replies and advice only you should not ask these dumb qeustions , but that's your age i geuss your still a toddler yourself and seeing your story not equiped to have a child . 

[Nanaplaza666]

Just now, Nanaplaza666 said:

Did you grow up without a father ??? Because you are saying you just want to visit whenever you want and don't want to live here so that means your child will not see her/his father 24/7  . I think you should consider having a child in the first place if you are not 100% there in it's live before asking all these qeustions about visa's schools etc. If you want sensible replies and advice only you should not ask these dumb qeustions , but that's your age i geuss your still a toddler yourself and seeing your story not equiped to have a child . 

P.s asking other people if you should have a child with someone and those people not even being  friends or family ??? 

[hotchilli]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:34 PM, rumak said:

 

what kind of advice would be sensible ?      

 

 

Find another girlfriend.

[rumak]

Just now, hotchilli said:

Just now, hotchilli said:

On 11/5/2020 at 8:34 PM, rumak said:

 

what kind of advice would be sensible ?      

 

 

Find another girlfriend.

 

 

that advice has been given to  thousands of guys who are with the wrong woman. ......

 

free advice !      but still nobody ever takes it      lol

 

 

[brianthainess]

I'm not trying to be rude, But i would seriously think about where you met her. 

[jomtienisgood]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:46 PM, rumak said:

 

i will be happy to help.   Next time you are in CM  we can have a good long talk about all the conditions of your particular situation.        good luck

Don't forget a drink... lol

[DrMJA]

hey buddy you have already made a huge mistake, you are supporting a Thai woman who has another Thai man's child. Dude, count your losses and run, this situation can only lead to a long life of expensive drama! 

 

When you finally arrive physically in Thailand, then and only then, start to look around .... slowly, find an educated Thai woman, a woman who has her own money (even if it is a small amount) and does not have a premade family or the Thai drama that will follow! 

Then begin to court her, take your time and enjoy getting to know her, after a few years of being in each others physical company (face to face daily), begin to talk about marriage and/ or children with her.

 

We are westerners our brains and lifestyles work completely different, as do our motives.  

By-the-way you are only in your thirties, relax.

[jomtienisgood]

2 hours ago, Nanaplaza666 said:

Did you grow up without a father ??? Because you are saying you just want to visit whenever you want and don't want to live here so that means your child will not see her/his father 24/7  . I think you should consider having a child in the first place if you are not 100% there in it's live before asking all these qeustions about visa's schools etc. If you want sensible replies and advice only you should not ask these dumb qeustions , but that's your age i geuss your still a toddler yourself and seeing your story not equiped to have a child . 

it's complicated to conceive a kid by phone-sex. lol

[jomtienisgood]

3 minutes ago, DrMJA said:

hey buddy you have already made a huge mistake, you are supporting a Thai woman who has another Thai man's child. Dude, count your losses and run, this situation can only lead to a long life of expensive drama! 

 

When you finally arrive physically in Thailand, then and only then, start to look around .... slowly, find an educated Thai woman, a woman who has her own money (even if it is a small amount) and does not have a premade family or the Thai drama that will follow! 

Then begin to court her, take your time and enjoy getting to know her, after a few years of being in each others physical company (face to face daily), begin to talk about marriage and/ or children with her.

 

We are westerners our brains and lifestyles work completely different, as do our motives.  

By-the-way you are only in your thirties, relax.

Correct 100%. There are 100ds of them in 7/11, Familimart, etc;;;;; lol

[jomtienisgood]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Bit chunky for me.

Now yes, about 20yrs ago very pretty & slim, time goes by, wonder if her father still has his bar????

[jomtienisgood]

16 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

well its nt abt ugly or handsome, 30 is the barrier here. the good ones are all married now.. the ones who are unmarried are the ones no one likes, so why shud i marry them 

Be positive, soon Mr Biden is gonna change all this....  

[bodga]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:20 PM, lovethai123 said:

The purpose of a marriage is to have a child

Is  it? Id  better inform my childless  Wife  immediately..married 14  years

[bodga]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:20 PM, lovethai123 said:

The purpose of a marriage is to have a child

Is  it? Id  better inform my childless  Wife  immediately..married 14  years

[jomtienisgood]

On 11/6/2020 at 8:29 AM, tonray said:

 

couldn't you just have a virtual child ?

Too late to try on pornhub. 555555555

[lovethai123]

4 hours ago, micmichd said:

If. The child in question isn't even born yet. 

its nt jst abt being born yet. 

i haven't met he girl in over 11 months. due to the virus and travel restrictions. even if things are better i have no idea when would my country men be allowed to take a flight to the LOS