Married Men: Do you enjoy 'a bit on the side?'

[Somchai Jackson]

45 minutes ago, CraigInBangkok said:

I see things differently ... I don't see the point of just blowing your load in a faceless hole. I did loads of that when I was younger and its just an empty feeling, as soon as it over just trying to get them out the door. Been with my wife 18 years and for me sex never got boring plus its so much better with an emotional connection. 

Then over time as your wife/GF gets older and fatter and more wrinkled and less attractive the sex becomes seriously less frequent and the lights go off in the bedroom and suddenly you are "just blowing your load in a faceless hole." 
Wise Thai women let their men simple take care of that need and then enjoy other benefits such as money and social status.  Let some other gal worry about 15 minutes of boom-boom with the guy who is caring care of your social status needs.  Let the karaoke gal who ends up sleeping in the wet spot brag about her Fino scooter her sugar-daddy got her while your driving to the Mall in your BWM to go shopping a couple of times a week with your Hiso friends.
Western women and most western guys don't grasp that very well. 

Edited January 23, 2021 by Somchai Jackson

[bkk6060]

I have met several girls on the dating sites that informed me after the date that they were married.

So yep, it works both ways it seems.

[toofarnorth]

If the food at home goes from hot and spicey to cold and uninteresting  go out and spice up your life a bit . But then this topic is not about food is it.

[CraigInBangkok]

Just now, Somchai Jackson said:

Then over time as your wife/GF gets older and fatter and more wrinkled and less attractive the sex becomes seriously less frequent and the lights go off in the bedroom and suddenly you are "just blowing your load in a faceless hole." 
Wise Thai women let their men simple take care of that need and then enjoy other benefits such as money and social status.  Let some other gal worry about 15 minutes of boom-boom with the guy who is caring care of your social status needs.  Western women and most western guys don't grasp that very well. 

Oh wow ... we can do it with the lights on ? I reckon we can get a few more years out of that.

Honestly, I feel sorry for you

[Somchai Jackson]

5 minutes ago, CraigInBangkok said:

Oh wow ... we can do it with the lights on ? I reckon we can get a few more years out of that.

Honestly, I feel sorry for you

Who's talking about me?  I'm talking about you guys.

[bluesofa]

13 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Bit on the side hells bells i dont get any at home, let alone a bit on the side.

You must be laying facing the wrong way.

 

Edited January 23, 2021 by bluesofa

[RichardColeman]

13 minutes ago, Somchai Jackson said:

Wise Thai women let their men simple take care of that need and then enjoy other benefits such as money and social status.

I guess then if you can't get it up any longer you'd approve of your wife taking on a lover as you can't keep her happy any longer in old age. Works both ways - or is it just for the men ? Guess you may like the idea of another guy shafting your wife, but I wouldn't.

 

[colinneil]

4 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

You must be laying facing the wrong way.

 

The word i am thinking of after reading your post rhymes with banker.

[sungod]

2 hours ago, WineOh said:

My wife has no intention of sleeping around.

But she has also hinted to me in the past that she would be OK if I did...

She has never actually come out and said sleep around, but she has said things like 'boys will be boys' and 'men always do anyway' etc.

Do it, tell her and then open up another thread telling us how you got on, hopefully it will be more fun than this one!

Edited January 23, 2021 by sungod

[CraigInBangkok]

 

16 minutes ago, Somchai Jackson said:

Who's talking about me?  I'm talking about you guys.

I was as you quoted me and while we are here ...

 

28 minutes ago, Somchai Jackson said:

Wise Thai women let their men simple take care of that need and then enjoy other benefits such as money and social status

This seems to be your problem ... you seem to be willing to be a walking atm and as far as i'm concerned, thats not a great basis for a marriage.

Plus, your "all thai women involved with foreigners" nonsense tells me you've been looking in the wrong the places.

again only pity from me 

[Neeranam]

Not in 20 years. Why on earth get married if you are not going to be faithful? 

If you are sick of your wife, do the manly thing and get a divorce. 

Only weak men deliberately hurt their wives. 

[Somchai Jackson]

9 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I guess then if you can't get it up any longer you'd approve of your wife taking on a lover as you can't keep her happy any longer in old age. Works both ways - or is it just for the men ? Guess you may like the idea of another guy shafting your wife, but I wouldn't.

 

If the old lady was an exec at the Thai equivalent of Goldman-Sachs and was keeping me happy with with a generous bank account, toys, bling, and social status - sure, she can bang whatever boy-toy she wants.  If I can't get it up like a lot of the guys who are reading this, then why would I care?  You find a different hobby to fulfill your life and dump what doesn't work.

Money, status, a home, social perks, the comfort of the rich - why would I care about some Thai-guy with 4.5 inches of swinging.......envy.  Ha ha ha.
Have you ever noticed that unlike the West well-healed Thais don't get divorced.  Not over something as silly as engaging in mating rituals for a couple of hours and then bumping nasties for 5 or 10 minutes.  Social status is way more important.

[CraigInBangkok]

1 minute ago, Somchai Jackson said:

Money, status, a home, social perks, the comfort of the rich

Status   what is exactly is this status because i find that ridiculous

[mr mr]

honey if you are reading this i am faithful to you i swear. 

[RichardColeman]

11 minutes ago, Somchai Jackson said:

Money, status, a home, social perks, the comfort of the rich - why would I care about some Thai-guy with 4.5 inches of swinging.......envy.  Ha ha ha.

Yes, and maybe a Nigerian with grandfather clockesque pendulum !

Edited January 23, 2021 by RichardColeman

[Somchai Jackson]

13 minutes ago, CraigInBangkok said:

This seems to be your problem ... you seem to be willing to be a walking atm and as far as i'm concerned, thats not a great basis for a marriage.

Who's married?

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, WineOh said:

My wife has no intention of sleeping around.

But she has also hinted to me in the past that she would be OK if I did...

She has never actually come out and said sleep around, but she has said things like 'boys will be boys' and 'men always do anyway' etc.

 

I am a strong believer that sex on the side, is just like a side order at a restaurant and is healthy for relationships, i.e. providing there isn't any insecurity, and from what I have seen from women in general, there is lots of insecurities amongst them losing their men to another woman, probably why they don't want them getting any side orders. 

 

We too were at a dinner party years ago, albeit it, it was with all westerner couples and one wife said to her husband when the topic of cheating came up somehow, if you ever play up on me I will cut it off, that is when these women looked at my wife with utter disapproval and the lads with absolute approval albeit they were trying hard not to laugh, i.e. why wife casually said, why would you cut it off, I would never do that to my husband, I know what he does and that's ok, he goes and has fun and comes back to me, if he was ever going to leave me for the woman he was banging, well not much I could do about that, it would be his choice and that can happen with or without my approval, so why not support him. That said, she is a rare breed, the boys love her, the wives, well not so sure....probably found her as a threat, although they did ask a lot of questions and she tried to educate them with one of the wives saying to me that she lost all respect for me and my reply was, that's ok, I'm not married to you with her husband laughing his rear off, mates are mates and won't let wives come between them.

 

For me, I do as I like, and my wife of well over a decade is ok about it, as long as I don't throw it in her face and follow some precautionary rules so as not to bring anything home to her, it's also good to experiment, if both parties are willing, but I am not going to go into it here because it's full of keyboard warriors who have there own strong views on how a marriage should be, you know Romeo and Juliet style.

 

The above said, I see my wife as my best mate, we are open, discuss things and can joke about anything, she knows my appetite and I will even discuss any girl within my sights and she will make jokes, like careful you don't take on more than you can chew, she has no issues, as long as I come back home after I get it out of my system as I do, now before anyone hits the keyboards, yes what's good for the goose, is good for the gander, yep, I have no problem with that, but she is not into that, besides, Thai guys for her would be last on the list if she ever did decide to have a side order.

 

She is a true believer in "one life" enjoy it, do what makes you happy, that said, I don't go about having side orders every week, month, year, probably because we live in the bush, just as well ????

 

[Mavideol]

3 hours ago, WineOh said:

My wife then looked at me and said 'you dont, do you love?'

to which I replied 'of course not darling', but in a very sarcastic way.

did you ask your wife the same question? did her answer was as sarcastic as yours.... old saying, what goes around comes around, hope you will not be surprised when that happen

Edited January 23, 2021 by Mavideol

[1fortheroad]

yes i have a bit on the  side  but i guess more like what Thais would call a  gik  rather than  a mia noi.

 

 

This woman i have been seing, our kids go  to the  same school but are different ages. We got chatting in the school playground while we were waiting to pick the kids up at the end of the day. We probably chatted for about a year everyday first. 

 

She is married but separated. her husband lives and works in Bangkok. Her family own a condominium block that is rented out mainly to Thai people. 3,000 baht per month kind of place not too far from where I live. One day I was helping a farang mate look for an apartment to rent and he said lets look there. By chance this woman was sat behind reception.

 

At that point we exchanged Line and started chatting. 

 

Long story short I have been dropping by the apartemnts every week for about  the last year, apart from lockdown!

the sex is incredible. it is just a no strings attached kind of thing. Our meetings are sometimes quite unromantic, just sex. But as  I  said, sex is incredible. 

 

the is  no money involved, no commitments, just sex. 

[Somchai Jackson]

You either understand it or you don't.  Many of you guys are trying to press Western values into a Thai mold.  Then you get all self-righteous when it runs over the sides and you end up with a mess.  If you think you have a wonderful relationship with a Thai woman by Western standard, good for you. But stop pissing on the culture you are living in.  It's not Western and it doesn't work they way you believe it does.  And for that of us who simply accept the culture for what it is and fit in.  Wish us happiness.  Stop being moralistic frumps.

[2530Ubon]

My better half seems to know everyone in this country and would find out pretty quickly. Thai women love to boast apparently, and I quite like my pecker attached to my body.

 

Anyway, I'd never do it because I'd hate to think if the shoe was on the other foot...

[yeahbutif]

I think the wife/girlfriend.would let you play around so they could.it seems to me they would let you play around if you have nothing to offer the table.and it would give them chance to find a better provider..

[BangkokReady]

21 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

she tried to educate them

 

Interesting interpretation of the word.

[BangkokReady]

21 minutes ago, 1fortheroad said:

We probably chatted for about a year everyday

 

That's quite a conversation.

[BangkokReady]

Doesn't this all come down to the way Thais view love and marriage?  As more of a "services provided" thing than we might see it in the West.

 

I guess if you're happy with that, then go for it.  As many seem to have said, they would be happy if their wife played away also, so it seems like their relationships are hardly the same as what we might see in the West.

 

The key thing is, are you happy with that?  Your job is simply to provide money and, as a result, as long as the money comes, your wife doesn't care what you do.  But she simply cannot love you in the same way as we love in the West.

 

Up to you, but not really what I'm after.  Personally I would hope to find something a little bit more "exclusive" from both sides.

[CraigInBangkok]

11 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Doesn't this all come down to the way Thais view love and marriage?  As more of a "services provided" thing than we might see it in the West.

 

I guess if you're happy with that, then go for it.  As many seem to have said, they would be happy if their wife played away also, so it seems like their relationships are hardly the same as what we might see in the West.

 

The key thing is, are you happy with that?  Your job is simply to provide money and, as a result, as long as the money comes, your wife doesn't care what you do.  But she simply cannot love you in the same way as we love in the West.

 

Up to you, but not really what I'm after.  Personally I would hope to find something a little bit more "exclusive" from both sides.

 I know a fair few horror stories (most of which you can see from a mile off), but I also know plenty of westerners who are not service providers and are happily married to Thais. Don't let the response of few TVF experts tell you its different. Many different types of people in different situations, which is just the same all over the world. 

[Felt 35]

Its something missed here. Its more or less only focus on men........my wife once said to me when I still was relatively young and still travelled quit a bit in South East Asia included Thailand due to some organization I was involved with. Once this question come up and I ask here, don't you trust me...no its not you its my "sisters" here, was the answer. ????

 

[CharlieH]

It was once described to me that females look at sex and relationships from the neck up.

Men look at it from the waist down !

 

So, simply put, women are much mors emotinally attached and invested in "the act" generally, whereas (most) men its a totally unattached physical act and little else.

 

Where the danger enters is that emotional aspect of the female in most cases. Obviously if its a business transaction thats different but you get what I mean here in general terms.

 

My personal view, no way, couldnt handle it, the deciet etc is just all wrong and I would be devastated and no going back if the boot was on the other foot, total betrayal and goodbye.

But thats me and each to their own and what works for your relationship.

[Bruce Aussie Chiang Mai]

If your wife so ok with it and you  happy to share your wife go for it.

Otherwise you are just an ********

 

 

[elliss]

5 hours ago, KannikaP said:

In English we say What's good for the goose is good for the gander ! (Or the other way round).

So just pose the same question to your other halves and see what they say.

 

     You may not be happy with the reply ..

      Why she go to the village   every week , many times. 555