Does a LT Girlfriend have property rights when we split - it's time

[gk10012001]

1 minute ago, JoeBloe said:

Indeed. I lived in CA for a while. I know the feeling!

We used to say our secretary was a General in the "Space Cadets" (referring the space between her ears, not the newly formed Space Force).

I was in the Air Force and worked on space projects and spent a lot of time in Colorado Springs at USAF Space Command

[theoldgit]

Do think this will be a surprise to her, or do you think she probably knows it's coming?

[crazykopite]

Why not offer her a monthly allowance for 6 months while she settles into her new life you have zero responsibility for her son but maybe you feel you want to contribute to his education if you see him as being an enthusiastic child who has a passion for learning . I help my ex with her child’s schooling it’s a government school so it’s not that expensive 

Edited October 18, 2021 by crazykopite

[gk10012001]

10 hours ago, blackcab said:

 

Before you give her the bad news, don't forget to secure all of your important documents, outside of the condo if you can.

 

Passport, bank cards, bank books, pension documents, title deeds, housebooks, spare property access cards and keys, vehicle registration books and spare keys, driving licenses, any documents from your home country and anything else that would be difficult to replace easily.

I had a co worker here in the states.  he was in the Navy and stationed in the PI on and off.  He married a filipina.  Had two kids.  They got separated and divorced in the States.  She burned the house down!  No lie.  All his records gone.  Took many years for him to reconcile things with the IRS. in the meantime he was stationed around the world, etc.  He did not file his taxes for several years.  Finally, he got hired at Northrop after he left the navy and settled in San Diego California.  Got a lawyer and got with the IRS. 

 

   The IRS guy says you are in big trouble for not paying taxes for the last 5 years.  My friend snapped back:  "I paid a LOT of taxes.  I just did not file. There is a big difference".  Now the guy was always on payroll with the Navy and a year or two with Northrop so of course Federal, state and SSA taxes had been taken out.  So there were records.  When the dust cleared, my friend got back a fair amount of money refunded.  Apparently though the IRS only goes back so far for paying out money owed, but they sure will go back more years if you owe them money! 

[JoeBloe]

1 minute ago, theoldgit said:

Do think this will be a surprise to her, or do you think she probably knows it's coming?

Who will be the first to blink?

Obviously things are somewhat toxic at the moment and if she believed 10% of what comes out of her mouth during her tirades, she'd have left herself long ago - or knifed me.  But she's still here and I'm still contributing to global warming ????

Clinically unstable she may be, but a fool she isn't

[crazykopite]

2 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

Have you realised that all you talk about is money money money.   Sounds like you have been seen as the proverbial walking atm.

 

And yet, even when you are contemplating a breakup  you're still wanting to be an atm.

That’s how the majority of Thai woman view us as mobile ATMs . I’m done with Thai GFs it’s not about love or feelings for the majority it’s about survival I now have a weekly cleaner and monthly Gardiner and I pay them well if I want a female it is for a couple of days and whilst with me I take good care of them I make them aware as soon as I meet them that the chance of a long term relationship where they move in to my property is zero they then have a choice and that is to turn me down or enjoy a few days if being spoilt they tend to go for the latter and as yet I have had no complaints.

Edited October 18, 2021 by crazykopite

[IAMHERE]

On 10/17/2021 at 6:08 AM, JoeBloe said:

Bizarrely, she's never set foot in a bar or "worked", but she has now developed the same "whore mentality" that equates money with sex (and says it out loud) - I blame the Thai internet forums and chat rooms for that development.

Funny that; my girl has about the same background and mentality. I blame her outlook on her girlfriends advice which pretty much all originates or influenced by ladies of the red light districts.

[Leonard Desharnais]

22 hours ago, JoeBloe said:

Thanks folks.

It is as I had expected from a legal standpoint, up to my own internal model of the world what I am willing to offer.

Some more of the story.

Her father is dead (I paid a big lump of his funeral) and she is estranged from her family. As far as I can ascertain, this is between her and her mother.  Oldest daughters v. mothers is a thing in all cultures.

During my dealings with the family I have managed to secure the remaining part of the family farm for my GF plus some another small piece of land etc.. Every time the family needed money and I was expected to contribute, I traded a chanot for it, rather than straight charity. I offered to pay a large wad the other day to zero the family debt for the other part of the farm, but they apparently already agreed to sell it. Thai rural families are easy pray for loan sharks and banks. I gain no benefit for this, but I do not doubt my GF (and subsequently her son) would have ended with nothing without my intervention, so my contribution insured some of her farm stayed in family (her) hands. From my point of view, this is me giving her money.

My deal with her explicitly excluded marriage, it was that I would provide for everything incl. the boy's education and her only job was to be a full-time mother and a faithful partner. She did a pretty good job on the mother front and since she is a great cook, they both eat well. I have been faithful and kept everyone under my roof and given them a cosmopolitan lifestyle when we are outside Thailand.

One issue now appears to be she feels inferior to other Thai women because she doesn't have an expensive watch, lots of jewellery, a big bank balance and so on. She has developed an inferiority complex versus what she perceives other Thai woman receive from their farang partners. She has built up a massive "princess entitlement" position and she's angry about it. This is quite a new development.

I could throw gifts at her, but my experience is that she treats ear rings that cost 20 THB the same as those that cost 10,000 THB. A mistake I am not willing to make again so she can play princess around other women for a while.

There you go, a bit of pointless rambling about some of what is driving me out of my own home.  There are far deeper issues though, and there aren't solutions for those,. ????

Question: How can one reasonably hide knives from the chef?
 

Your question has been answered. "No legal responsability" Saying that, now comes moral responsability. I too have been with my Mrs (not married) but I use the term as I have implied that I will take care of her as long as I live. (10 yrs). She too talks to others and now that I have retired she of course is concerned what will happen when I die so to me a break up is the same thing. It is death to a relationship. You mentioned her job was to take care of you. Same as mine as for her to work 6 days a week and 10 hrs a day would mean she is not here for me. So, there really is no fair way except to divide what the 2 of you have amassed over your 10 yr period or a cash settlement equal to the same. She did take care of you and if like my misses, she is worried about after I die or if I leave her for a younger woman. Only you know what she deserves but after 10 years, my Mrs deserves everything we have built together. House, motor bikes and bank acct or if we split, half.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, JoeBloe said:

Have you ever tried to be rational with an angry woman?

Just move somewhere else with no forwarding address, no need to tell her, just disappear.

Let her stay in the condo ......... condos are cheap to rent at the moment.

Don't give her or the kid any more money.

She'll wander off soon enough.

If she can't find you or contact you, she's unlikely to make a complaint.

 

Another alternative I always liked, was to move in with another Thai lady and let them sort it out between them.

If they end up giving each other a beating, it's nothing to do with you.

Your new woman will protect her investment.

[JoeBloe]

4 minutes ago, Leonard Desharnais said:

You mentioned her job was to take care of you.

I didn't write that, did I? From memory, I wrote that her job was to be a mother and faithful partner. I don't need a nurse now, and with a bit of luck, never.

 

6 minutes ago, Leonard Desharnais said:

divide what the 2 of you have amassed over your 10 yr period or a cash settlement equal to the same.

We haven't amassed anything. In fact I haven't either. I can't think of a single thing of value that I have "amassed" in Thailand since I met her (aside from the jalopy which isn't in my name anyway).

 

9 minutes ago, Leonard Desharnais said:

she is worried about after I die

That's an issue in my case as well. She was a young widow when I met her, so it's a real enough concern.

[JoeBloe]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Just move somewhere else with no forwarding address, no need to tell her, just disappear.

Let her stay in the condo ......... condos are cheap to rent at the moment.

Don't give her or the kid any more money.

She'll wander off soon enough.

If she can't find you or contact you, she's unlikely to make a complaint.

 

Another alternative I always liked, was to move in with another Thai lady and let them sort it out between them.

If they end up giving each other a beating, it's nothing to do with you.

Your new woman will protect her investment.

Some of you people must have no lives, no assets and share nothing. I have a lot of forwarding addresses and she knows and has visited all of them.

This "pump and dump" mentality is strange.

 

[spidermike007]

If you are serious about moving on, break it down for her, tell her she has five days to clear out, and offer her 20,000 to 50,000 baht, so she has enough to move back home to her family, or find a room, and get a job. I see guys here offering ridiculous amounts of money, out of guilt, or perceived obligation. The reality is, Thais bounce back fast. Not a big deal. You do not "owe her" anything. She has already been well taken care of. 

 

When it is over, it is over. Time to get on with your life. She has no legal basis for anything, unless the property, motorbikes, etc. are in her name. 

Edited October 18, 2021 by spidermike007

[JoeBloe]

1 minute ago, spidermike007 said:

She has no legal basis for anything, unless the property, motorbikes, etc. are in her name. 

Just the car, mainly because of the complications involved with getting it in my name (don't ask)

20-50K ????????

[BTB1977]

My not legally married thai wife  sometimes throws the my friends husband gives her this and that. My friend has the credit card of her farang husband. My friends has 2 baht gold necklace, ring or what ever.  So I did an experiment on how she would take care of me if I let her have control of money I gave her 1,000 baht. And explained that this money is for taking care of us/me for that day. Food ,coffee whatever. She had every excuse for not pulling out that 1,000 baht all day. I left it at the shop. It's under the motorcycle seat 10 feet away, but didn't want to go get it. On and on. She has her own business so makes money for her mother, father and 2 lazy 20 somthing boys. Our arrangement is I take care of her. Her shop takes care of the family.  So I told her on our last anniversary that she can go s$ch her friends husband's Richard if she wants all that. I also said to ask her thai friend if her rich husband has a rich friend that might be interested in her and she can leave anytime. She has not brought up the BS my friend  stories ever again. 

[BritManToo]

41 minutes ago, JoeBloe said:

Some of you people must have no lives, no assets and share nothing. I have a lot of forwarding addresses and she knows and has visited all of them.

This "pump and dump" mentality is strange.

 

You're right, I have no significant assets in Thailand.

And I learned never to share information about me with anyone, certainly not the woman in my bed. 

Would point out you're the one likely to be killed or jailed, not me.

Best not to share a room with a woman that despises you.

My first gf drove her car over her American husband, then had him arrested and deported.

My second gf had her Swiss husband killed by a 'hit and run'.

 

I'm not really a pump and dump guy, but there's no reason to tell them more than they need to know. These women can be dangerous!

 

How much will your condos in Thailand be worth if she gets you deported?

Edited October 18, 2021 by BritManToo

[JoeBloe]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You're right, I have no significant assets in Thailand.

And I learned never to share information about me with anyone, certainly not the woman in my bed. 

Would point out you're the one likely to be killed or jailed, not me.

My first gf drove her car over her American husband, then had him arrested and deported.

My second gf had her Swiss husband killed by a 'hit and run'.

These women can be dangerous!

Did these woman have relationships with you before or after their murderous behaviour?

The number of farangs that die in mysterious circumstances in Thailand is astonishing. I don't wish to be the next statistic, that's for sure.

 

[RafPinto]

17 minutes ago, BTB1977 said:

My not legally married thai wife  sometimes throws the my friends husband gives her this and that. My friend has the credit card of her farang husband. My friends has 2 baht gold necklace, ring or what ever.  So I did an experiment on how she would take care of me if I let her have control of money I gave her 1,000 baht. And explained that this money is for taking care of us/me for that day. Food ,coffee whatever. She had every excuse for not pulling out that 1,000 baht all day. I left it at the shop. It's under the motorcycle seat 10 feet away, but didn't want to go get it. On and on. She has her own business so makes money for her mother, father and 2 lazy 20 somthing boys. Our arrangement is I take care of her. Her shop takes care of the family.  So I told her on our last anniversary that she can go s$ch her friends husband's Richard if she wants all that. I also said to ask her thai friend if her rich husband has a rich friend that might be interested in her and she can leave anytime. She has not brought up the BS my friend  stories ever again. 

I had the same type of GF.

Always telling that all her friends who are together with "old germans" in Germany get at least 50k Baht pocket money each month.

 I told her to make a video call to see what all those rich girls really have or if they are cleaning somewhere toilets.

Never a video call was done.

I told her to get on her bike and look for a rich sponsor.

Off she went.... to the village.

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, JoeBloe said:

Did these woman have relationships with you before or after their murderous behaviour?

The number of farangs that die in mysterious circumstances in Thailand is astonishing. I don't wish to be the next statistic, that's for sure.

 

First was during/after, she forgot to mention she was married, and he was away working to send her money.

Second was after, she was in the process of selling his kid to his parents when I was with her.

They will hire people to kill you.

Edited October 18, 2021 by BritManToo

[JoeBloe]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

First was after, she forgot to mention she was married, and he was away working to send her money.

Second was after, she was in the process of selling his kid to his parents when I was with her.

They will hire people to kill you.

I know, and she's got one in the family somewhere for sure :o

Those two sound like the dregs of our species and in a Darwinian world would be deselected.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, JoeBloe said:

Those two sound like the dregs of our species and in a Darwinian world would be deselected.

I view them as normal Thai women.

Don't make the mistake of thinking yours is different.

[Hummin]

15 minutes ago, JoeBloe said:

Did these woman have relationships with you before or after their murderous behaviour?

The number of farangs that die in mysterious circumstances in Thailand is astonishing. I don't wish to be the next statistic, that's for sure.

 

When you read some of the mentality in here, and how they describe their relationship, I understand why! Do not need to be Einstein to know why. 

[theonetrueaussie]

This is really simple, No she has no rights to anything as you are not married. This is why many men choose to live in Thailand because there are no crazy laws like if she lives with you for 6 months she is entitled to 50% of your wealth like the crazy west!!

The situation could be complicated because she may refuse to leave. Simple solution is to tell her you have money problems and can no longer afford the place or her generous monthly expenses. Rent a fan room for 5-6k a month and pay 3-6 months upfront. Tell her you need to move to the new room as you need to sell the condo and then let her know that you can only afford to give her 6-10k a month living expenses as you are broke now. Give her say a month to move and then after that you can safely break up with her but I give it 50-50 odds she maybe will have left you for someone else by then anyways! 

Edited October 18, 2021 by theonetrueaussie

[Almer]

On 10/17/2021 at 10:37 AM, JoeBloe said:

Thanks folks.

It is as I had expected from a legal standpoint, up to my own internal model of the world what I am willing to offer.

Some more of the story.

Her father is dead (I paid a big lump of his funeral) and she is estranged from her family. As far as I can ascertain, this is between her and her mother.  Oldest daughters v. mothers is a thing in all cultures.

During my dealings with the family I have managed to secure the remaining part of the family farm for my GF plus some another small piece of land etc.. Every time the family needed money and I was expected to contribute, I traded a chanot for it, rather than straight charity. I offered to pay a large wad the other day to zero the family debt for the other part of the farm, but they apparently already agreed to sell it. Thai rural families are easy pray for loan sharks and banks. I gain no benefit for this, but I do not doubt my GF (and subsequently her son) would have ended with nothing without my intervention, so my contribution insured some of her farm stayed in family (her) hands. From my point of view, this is me giving her money.

My deal with her explicitly excluded marriage, it was that I would provide for everything incl. the boy's education and her only job was to be a full-time mother and a faithful partner. She did a pretty good job on the mother front and since she is a great cook, they both eat well. I have been faithful and kept everyone under my roof and given them a cosmopolitan lifestyle when we are outside Thailand.

One issue now appears to be she feels inferior to other Thai women because she doesn't have an expensive watch, lots of jewellery, a big bank balance and so on. She has developed an inferiority complex versus what she perceives other Thai woman receive from their farang partners. She has built up a massive "princess entitlement" position and she's angry about it. This is quite a new development.

I could throw gifts at her, but my experience is that she treats ear rings that cost 20 THB the same as those that cost 10,000 THB. A mistake I am not willing to make again so she can play princess around other women for a while.

There you go, a bit of pointless rambling about some of what is driving me out of my own home.  There are far deeper issues though, and there aren't solutions for those,. ????

Question: How can one reasonably hide knives from the chef?
 

Offer a chunk of cash and the “Chef” will go elsewhere, unless of course she still loves you then it’s a devil to get them out.

[gk10012001]

2 hours ago, JoeBloe said:

In an early post I pointed out that there is a clinical issue. Re-read that one.

Personally, until recently, I've never considered her a freeloader. Not contributing $ to a relationship is not the same as not contributing anything to a relationship.

Yes.  Many relationships are symbiotic in many ways, not necessarily financial.  Wishing the best for both parties..

[Mac Mickmanus]

35 minutes ago, JoeBloe said:

The number of farangs that die in mysterious circumstances in Thailand is astonishing. I don't wish to be the next statistic, that's for sure.

 

It really isn't , mysterious felang deaths are quite rare 

[nobodysfriend]

1 hour ago, JoeBloe said:

She was a young widow when I met her, so it's a real enough concern.

Hmm ... what did her former husband die from ? You know that ?

[connda]

On 10/17/2021 at 6:08 AM, JoeBloe said:

I have been with my GF 10+ years. It's a long story, but basically the question is;

* when I split from her, does she have any legal avenue for extracting compensation for time spent.

Nope.  However, she may exact a pound of flesh in a different manner as TIT.

[connda]

On 10/17/2021 at 7:02 AM, JoeBloe said:

She only knows how to spend money, not save it.

Well, there's the definition of a Thai woman for ya! 

[connda]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Just move somewhere else with no forwarding address, no need to tell her, just disappear.

Let her stay in the condo ......... condos are cheap to rent at the moment.

Don't give her or the kid any more money.

She'll wander off soon enough.

If she can't find you or contact you, she's unlikely to make a complaint.

 

Another alternative I always liked, was to move in with another Thai lady and let them sort it out between them.

If they end up giving each other a beating, it's nothing to do with you.

Your new woman will protect her investment.

[FritsSikkink]

On 10/17/2021 at 6:49 AM, JoeBloe said:

The drama will be immense, for clinical reasons. Pent up psychological trauma from long before I was in the frame that has consumed her soul and mind from the inside. They all come with baggage.

This is not because I don't care for her or the boy, but I need to get out before it gets ugly.

If you want to do it the nice way; find her a cheap condo, move her stuff out and tell her to go look for a job. Give her minimal support so she has an incentive to find a job or new friend and give her a timeline when you will stop supporting. If you don't care, tell her to go to her family.