sin sod or not she was already married

[djayz]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

They are all angels until you have transferred all your wealth

Have to disagree with this. There are early telltale signs which give gold diggers away early on in the game. You should  be able to see these signs and get out immediately.

[Kenny202]

3 minutes ago, djayz said:

Have to disagree with this. There are early telltale signs which give gold diggers away early on in the game. You should  be able to see these signs and get out immediately.

Oh I agree, the ones that want to meet you at the mall on your first date etc. And yeah blind Freddy could see them a mile off.... although we often carry on regardless. The worst ones are the women who may not outwardly be gold diggers. You set up the family home etc, then after a year or 6 months, you are greeted with the news that she has guaranteed a loan for gambling debts with your (her) Land deeds with the local loan shark, and if you can't stump up 500k to 2 million baht, someone will be around tomorrow to take ownership of your home. She may not be a gold digger, or even a bad person for that matter. But she may be totally irresponsible with money, and you have just invested your life savings into a future with her and gave someone with a comparable third grade education complete control over your financial future. I know 2 guys have recently been through it and now back home working at 66 and 70yo. Or the other guy I know who's wife simply said she was bored, going back to the bar and if he wanted to stay in the 8 million baht home he bought and paid for he could pay her 25k a month rent. Then there are the long gamers who do go in with intent, and have played the game before. I been here 8 years now and there are good girls around, but after what I have seen repeated over and over again I am at the stage of my life where I wouldn't risk putting anything in a Thai woman's name. It is just too much of a gamble for me 

[Heng]

These are the best threads.   Been on this board for almost 20 years and it never gets old.   Reminds me of one fellow (don't know if you're still on here) who said it begins with sin sod, and ended up with him having to write his name on all his possessions (as in blender, microwave, DVD player, etc.) in magic marker because the in-laws kept walking off with his stuff.  

[Guest Isaanlife]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

I have never met one that thought she was lucky to get a better life and a caring husband unless it was a Hollywood lifestyle where she was showered in real estate and gold. I honestly think they believe they are downgrading getting a farang and expect to be renumerated for it. Different story if its an old guy and a sexy young girl, and more power to you if you can afford it but an older lady that is probably bringing nothing to the table apart from a lot of baggage and future problems....nup. have some self respect / self worth and have some expectations of your own. After you have lived here some time you will reallise there is a queue of women 30-50yo wanting to meet you from Chiang Mai to Bangkok. If it doesn't work out...nnnnext. If she seems like a nice woman give her a try. But dont commit to anything and don't invest any more than you would in a GF back home, particularly at the start. And I wouldn't automatically fire her just because she asks for money. Her friends (who have never even spoken to a farang) will be coaching her on what to expect and egging her on. Set her straight and give her one chance. The real test comes later when her jealous friends are asking where is her gold and new Louis bag? And why haven't you built her a home? Its all about face, showing off, embarrassment. Which monkey has the most bananas. If shes strong enough to push all that off and be realistic u may be on a winner 

Have to disagree with some of your response.

 

In Isaan many gals escape from poverty by marrying a farang and do indeed have a better life than they ever would have had.

 

 

[Guest Isaanlife]

34 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Oh I agree, the ones that want to meet you at the mall on your first date etc. And yeah blind Freddy could see them a mile off.... although we often carry on regardless. The worst ones are the women who may not outwardly be gold diggers. You set up the family home etc, then after a year or 6 months, you are greeted with the news that she has guaranteed a loan for gambling debts with your (her) Land deeds with the local loan shark, and if you can't stump up 500k to 2 million baht, someone will be around tomorrow to take ownership of your home. She may not be a gold digger, or even a bad person for that matter. But she may be totally irresponsible with money, and you have just invested your life savings into a future with her and gave someone with a comparable third grade education complete control over your financial future. I know 2 guys have recently been through it and now back home working at 66 and 70yo. Or the other guy I know who's wife simply said she was bored, going back to the bar and if he wanted to stay in the 8 million baht home he bought and paid for he could pay her 25k a month rent. Then there are the long gamers who do go in with intent, and have played the game before. I been here 8 years now and there are good girls around, but after what I have seen repeated over and over again I am at the stage of my life where I wouldn't risk putting anything in a Thai woman's name. It is just too much of a gamble for me 

If you pick a woman like you describe,  it is pretty obvious you did not know her very well before getting married and you get what you deserved.

 

I don't feel sorry for any farang that gets smoked.  No one to blame but themselves. If they get outsmarted by a bar girl, well, that is all on them.

 

When you are 66 and 70, getting married so someone half your age, what exactly do they expect? True love?

 

Bar girls learn all the tricks and will soon separate a fool from his life savings.

 

8 years is a good start, but after 20 years you will really know what is going on.

 

There are lots of expats married more than 20+ years. 

 

 

 

[Kenny202]

11 minutes ago, Isaanlife said:

Have to disagree with some of your response.

 

In Isaan many gals escape from poverty by marrying a farang and do indeed have a better life than they ever would have had.

 

 

No argument from me they get a better life...It doesn't mean they will be grateful or loyal though. I really can't say I have known too many successful relationships here and always the guy that loses one way or another. Of course he does because he is the only one putting the ante in the pot. The girl usually brings nothing to the table apart from herself, and no skin in the game....then hands them all the trump cards to boot. And don't mistake a better life to them as a big air conditioned farang house with all the mod cons and appliances. In my experience it is not how they like to live. I am talking lower educated rural people here mostly. Most I met would prefer to live outdoors with their friends snacking, snoozing and playing Facebook under a tree. The house is essentially an asset....monetary value and for showing off, Facebook selfies and the like. I am sorry to seem very negative here, just hate to see blokes continually lining up to be rinsed.  

[Kenny202]

11 minutes ago, Isaanlife said:

If you pick a woman like you describe,  it is pretty obvious you did not know her very well before getting married and you get what you deserved.

 

I don't feel sorry for any farang that gets smoked.  No one to blame but themselves. If they get outsmarted by a bar girl, well, that is all on them.

 

When you are 66 and 70, getting married so someone half your age, what exactly do they expect? True love?

 

Bar girls learn all the tricks and will soon separate a fool from his life savings.

 

8 years is a good start, but after 20 years you will really know what is going on.

 

There are lots of expats married more than 20+ years. 

 

 

 

All of the newbs here including myself probably got done in one way or another, picking the low hanging fruit. And its like anything if it seems too good to be true it probably is. But I just don't think many understand the depth of lies and deceit that can go on here. And BTW, a non bar girl is no guarantee of a successful relationship or a faithful wife. I would say you would have a much better chance with an educated older lady with a good job of course ..... but I have seen heaps of relationships to straight older women go south in as bad as any bar girl. Probably because the guy was less wary. I know a few guys here in long relationships but I couldn't say any were happy. They are toughing it out because they don't have any choice. The house is in her name or on the mother in laws land. 

[ChrisP24]

Plenty of sods sinning already.  No need to add any more to the mix.

[The Hammer2021]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

No argument from me they get a better life...It doesn't mean they will be grateful or loyal though. I really can't say I have known too many successful relationships here and always the guy that loses one way or another. Of course he does because he is the only one putting the ante in the pot. The girl usually brings nothing to the table apart from herself, and no skin in the game....then hands them all the trump cards to boot. And don't mistake a better life to them as a big air conditioned farang house with all the mod cons and appliances. In my experience it is not how they like to live. I am talking lower educated rural people here mostly. Most I met would prefer to live outdoors with their friends snacking, snoozing and playing Facebook under a tree. The house is essentially an asset....monetary value and for showing off, Facebook selfies and the like. I am sorry to seem very negative here, just hate to see blokes continually lining up to be rinsed.  

The girls do all the work around the house. They are  treated like slaves often

[KhunLA]

She sounds a gem, keep her.

 

Realizes her family are money grabby idiots, and agree with her, no reason to meet the family.  She doesn't seem to want to bother with them either, good for her ????

[CharlieH]

Troll comments removed

[Kenny202]

5 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

The girls do all the work around the house. They are  treated like slaves often

Really? I haven't met one yet who would even cook for herself let alone cook for me or even help do 20% of the chores around the house. Neither do any of my mates wives particularly do much. Slaves? Often? Not in the Thailand I live. I have asked a few of them what they are bringing to the relationship as I seem to be paying for everything and doing most of the work for both of us. Answer is usually something like "I live with you everyday". I always wonder how blokes go here who don't know how to take care of themselves.   

[thaibeachlovers]

11 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

Second reason is that family will want sinsod.  she is over 50 and been married before which to me makes her  Mia Maiy e So no dowery is needed.  Is this correct?

Family is trying it on. They probably think all farangs are stupid and believe anything.

 

Absolutely no sin sod is needed. It's not actually needed for any Thai woman, previously married or not, but some farangs believe the myth. Many guys never pay sin sod.

 

A possible solution is giving sin sod so long as you get it back- just for face. That's what I did. Depends on whether you trust them to give it back.

 

Sounds like you are better off not meeting them, ever.

 

Do you REALLY want to be married?

[thaibeachlovers]

16 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Really? I haven't met one yet who would even cook for herself let alone cook for me or even help do 20% of the chores around the house. Neither do any of my mates wives particularly do much. Slaves? Often? Not in the Thailand I live. I have asked a few of them what they are bringing to the relationship as I seem to be paying for everything and doing most of the work for both of us. Answer is usually something like "I live with you everyday". I always wonder how blokes go here who don't know how to take care of themselves.   

Too many farangs are stupid suckers and pay their beloveds to just be with them, so word got around, and others probably think they can get the same deal.

Happy to say my wife went to work every day to earn her own money. She also cooked for me if she was at home ( she worked as a cook at Sizzler ). In return she got a better life than she could have afforded.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

The girls do all the work around the house. They are  treated like slaves often

5555555555555555

I did all the housework. She didn't know how to use a broom.

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, The Hammer2021 said:

The girls do all the work around the house. They are  treated like slaves often

I take care of her, she take care of me! 

 

She have everything she needs, support her family with monthly work for her parents, and she work on the farm for her self, even I have said we hire people when we need, she want to do it her self. She also have cleaning help once a week. 

 

She clean my clothes and are the best chef I ever have been together with. Fresh grained Coffe first thing in the morning served on the bed ????

 

We manage to have quality time together something we would not have if she worked 6 days a week 10 hours a day. 

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, Isaanlife said:

8 years is a good start, but after 20 years you will really know what is going on.

Was 30 years with my Brit wife before she grabbed for everything.

As they say in the adverts, previous returns are no guarantee of future ROI.

They can strip you bare after 30 days or 30 years, you can't trust women.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Really? I haven't met one yet who would even cook for herself let alone cook for me or even help do 20% of the chores around the house.

Mine says, I employed her for the bedroom, and if I want a maid or housekeeper I should employ one.

[Kenny202]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Was 30 years with my Brit wife before she grabbed for everything.

As they say in the adverts, previous returns are no guarantee of future ROI.

They can strip you bare after 30 days or 30 years, you can't trust women.

That's pretty much my feeling too. I am at a stage of my life where I can't afford to gamble. I love living here, love the people but it's very important to me to maintain control of my life. And that means I rent a home, in my name. 

[bbko]

She's over 50, so her parent are how old? 75? 80?  If they are rural Issan types, 10,000b sin sod should be fine.

[Hummin]

She have reasons for not bringing you back to her village. Respect that, or move on

[Neeranam]

When a woman from a society of codependents meets a man who should be in SLAA, it's amazing the things they do to save face. 

[Neeranam]

15 hours ago, Heng said:

These are the best threads.   Been on this board for almost 20 years and it never gets old.   Reminds me of one fellow (don't know if you're still on here) who said it begins with sin sod, and ended up with him having to write his name on all his possessions (as in blender, microwave, DVD player, etc.) in magic marker because the in-laws kept walking off with his stuff.  

Indeed, how many of these threads have we seen? 

I often wonder why foreigners use 'sinsot' and not 'dowry', 'tabien baht' and not 'housebook', 'bargirl' and not.....

[Hummin]

15 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Indeed, how many of these threads have we seen? 

I often wonder why foreigners use 'sinsot' and not 'dowry', 'tabien baht' and not 'housebook', 'bargirl' and not.....

We are alle xperts or was it xpats?

[The Hammer2021]

19 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

In context I don"t see theres anything wrong with her saying her family will want money. We all know it would be true. All your new best friends sitting there like drooling mongrels waiting for a hand out. Maybe she feels embarrassed about it. On the other hand if you feel she is hinting that you will need to grease them up if you want the pleasure of her families company that's a huge red flag but a very typical and common one if they are from a poor / village back ground. I used to wonder how these girls became so entitled and expectant of going from the outhouse to the penthouse but there never seems to be any shortage of fresh meat queuing  up for the slaughter

A family  do not expect money for a 50 year old. They should be paying him!

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, The Hammer2021 said:

A family  do not expect money for a 50 year old. They should be paying him!

Dowry has nothing to do with age. 

[chalawaan]

22 hours ago, HAPPYNUFF said:

Maybe   she  doesnt want you to meet her "brother" ???

They're just kissing cousins from Alabamgkok.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Indeed, how many of these threads have we seen? 

I often wonder why foreigners use 'sinsot' and not 'dowry', 'tabien baht' and not 'housebook', 'bargirl' and not.....

And call themselves farang .......... cos they're ting tong ........

[zyphodb]

22 hours ago, Neeranam said:

She's embarrassed/ashamed. 

And, also possibly honest...

 

[The Hammer2021]

12 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Really? I haven't met one yet who would even cook for herself let alone cook for me or even help do 20% of the chores around the house. Neither do any of my mates wives particularly do much. Slaves? Often? Not in the Thailand I live. I have asked a few of them what they are bringing to the relationship as I seem to be paying for everything and doing most of the work for both of us. Answer is usually something like "I live with you everyday". I always wonder how blokes go here who don't know how to take care of themselves.   

How odd! We obviously must know very different  kinds of people. After 30 years experience here I just assumed all Thai females  were the same: forever, cleaning, sweeping, dusting non stop. Guess I've just been lucky