Lack Of Thai Male Friends

[JimTripper]

I have been in Thailand over 10 years and just realized I have had zero Thai male friends the whole time.

Do other expats here have Thai male friends? If so, what are their ages, how old are you and where did you meet?
I'm talking about friends like I had in the USA where you call each other, hang out, go out to sporting events and concerts & drinking of course. Not guys you would know through a female or her relatives, but just guy friends you would meet while out and about.

Edited March 17 by JimTripper

[Dolf]

1 minute ago, JimTripper said:

I have been in Thailand over 10 years and just realized I have had zero Thai male friends the whole time.

Do other expats here have Thai male friends? If so, what are their ages, how old are you and where did you meet?
I'm talking about friends like I had in the USA where you call each other, hang out, go out to sporting events and concerts & drinking of course. Not guys you would know through a female or her relatives, but just guy friends you would meet while out and about.

Males are overrated. I find 1 hour with friends is enough. 

[pgrahmm]

Just this guy....

 

[stoner]

19 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Do other expats here have Thai male friends? If so, what are their ages, how old are you and where did you meet?

 

i had but both died. one took me under his arm and showed me thailand. we often shared bamboo together. it's what brought us together in the first place. 

 

 

[bob smith]

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

 

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

 

I have tried, many times.

I now don't have real friends here but acquaintances.

 

it is the way it is.

bob.

[Nick Carter icp]

5 minutes ago, bob smith said:

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

 

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

 

I have tried, many times.

I now don't have real friends here but acquaintances.

 

it is the way it is.

bob.

 

 

   Just a few days ago you posted 

 

Tonight I am heading out with a few thai friends.

They said they will give me pointers on how to be more thai.

I will observe them, see what they do and try and copy.

they are all hard drinkers.

 

bob.

 

[bob smith]

2 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

 

   Just a few days ago you posted 

 

Tonight I am heading out with a few thai friends.

They said they will give me pointers on how to be more thai.

I will observe them, see what they do and try and copy.

they are all hard drinkers.

 

bob.

 

they are but mere acquaintances.

 

I perhaps used the term 'friends' rather loosely.

 

bob.

[ikke1959]

You are right in 20 years in Thailand we don't have male or even female friends to hang around with, Some reasons are that they can't /don't like to speak English and they are not willing to teach you Thai, There is a class system in Thailand and some Thais think that we are different class lower or higher than they are. And the definition of friendship is something different than we are used in our homecountry.. We have given up already a long time ago.

[Prubangboy]

Time to read a book that will really help you, clarity-wise:

 

Maybe They're Just Not That Into You.

[bob smith]

8 minutes ago, ikke1959 said:

You are right in 20 years in Thailand we don't have male or even female friends to hang around with, Some reasons are that they can't /don't like to speak English and they are not willing to teach you Thai, There is a class system in Thailand and some Thais think that we are different class lower or higher than they are. And the definition of friendship is something different than we are used in our homecountry.. We have given up already a long time ago.

in your experience, would you say that the majority of Thais think we are better or worse than them?

 

over the years i have had thai people tell me that they tend to think that farang are smarter and better than them, but this could of course be a smokescreen. 

 

bob.

[sammieuk1]

I found having been here for 14 years that only miserable old gits rock up here the OP is not alone in being alone  🤔

[Kinnock]

Yes, good friends, but only two .... and they both have an international education and outlook.

[PJ71]

I do not want any Thai male friends, the majority of them have zero morals.

[bob smith]

Just now, PJ71 said:

I do not want any Thai male friends, the majority of them have zero morals.

…same as you then.

 

bob.

[Northstar1]

Thai male’s simply don’t want anything to do with falang. Unless it has to do with a beating. Polar opposite in Vietnam, they call me over to sit with them and offer me food and drink.

[PJ71]

4 minutes ago, bob smith said:

…same as you then.

 

bob.

If you say so Bobalina.

 

Are you still here?

[bob smith]

4 minutes ago, Northstar1 said:

Thai male’s simply don’t want anything to do with falang. Unless it has to do with a beating. Polar opposite in Vietnam, they call me over to sit with them and offer me food and drink.

vietnamese blokes are OK.

 

i think its the fact they have been colonized before and dont have any superiority complex like the thais do. Vietnamese people are generally warm and hospitable.

 

bob.

[theblether]

I have several, ranging in age from around 30 to 60 plus. Among other useful things they look after my house when I'm away, cutting grass, etc. They ensure the place is immaculate when I return. They have been known to travel to meet me in places such as Hua Hin and BKK when I'm in country. They also have been known to extract me from days-long drinking sessions in Chiang Mai and transport me back to the village. We go to a lot of events, such as drag racing, festivals etc and have spend weekends away in the mountains with their families. 

 

I commend the OP for thinking about this. Thai men will warn you and protect you from the vagaries of life in Thailand. Contrary to the received wisdom that "Thai men are no good" there are plenty who live in long and successful marriages. They'll point out that the women you see in places like Pattaya are the village bikes, the bipolar headcases, the yabba heads and the drama queens that literally leave blood in their wake. 

 

There is no one more expert on Thai women than Thai men - if you believe the "Thai men no good" trope I have a bridge to sell you. 

[OneMoreFarang]

No Thai male friends.

I have a couple of Thai male business associates, and I trust them. But no personal Thai friends.

 

Our cultures are without question very different. I don't look down at them and in general I don't think Thais look down at me. We are just different. 

[pub2022]

There's not much you can talk about with them.

Because of the language and culture, just a small talk is ok.

There are exceptions of course.

[zhounan]

European and Thai culture is as distant as the earth from the moon. So, it is difficult to find common topics other than the usual trivial things. I don't even understand their sense of humour honestly.

[NoDisplayName]

No interest whatsoever.

[Ben Zioner]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

 

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

 

I have tried, many times.

I now don't have real friends here but acquaintances.

 

it is the way it is.

bob.

Bob is right.

[save the frogs]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

Jesus, do you ever stop with your cartoonish one-sided portrait of the place?

[scubascuba3]

I have a good thai female friend (non paid so not a fake one), with thai men it's tricky as often a language barrier, a couple i have a little chit chat with

[Captain Monday]

Like LAX, a friend will pick you up at BKK airport

But if he is a real friend you would never ask him to do that

[ikke1959]

7 hours ago, bob smith said:

in your experience, would you say that the majority of Thais think we are better or worse than them?

 

over the years i have had thai people tell me that they tend to think that farang are smarter and better than them, but this could of course be a smokescreen. 

 

bob.

indeed... maybe they feel ashamed to be friends with us...so they keep distance

[bob smith]

6 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Jesus, do you ever stop with your cartoonish one-sided portrait of the place?

was what I said wrong? if so, why?

 

bob.

[Chalky0w]

Probably only one genuine Thai male friend. Few acquaintances that I’m friendly with. Few hangers on that pretend to be friendly if they think I’ll pay a restaurant bill or something.

 

Met my friend about 5 years ago when he was working in the same place as my partner. We’re about the same age.

 

Been to football with him, restaurants / Thai bars / nightclubs, visit each others houses, day trips with him and his family, etc.

 

Always asks when I’m back if out of the country, offers to pick me up / drop me off at airport if he’s not working, brings me little gifts if visiting my house.

 

To pre-empt the cynics amongst you, this friend always wants to pay his way despite a big disparity in earnings. I think he gains face by paying whereas I like to pay because I earn more so normally whoever gets to the bill first.

 

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, bob smith said:

I would say that it is pretty much impossible for a farang man to have a true male thai friend.

 

We value honesty and integrity, they value face and deference.

 

I have tried, many times.

I now don't have real friends here but acquaintances.

 

it is the way it is.

bob.

I'm not sure Thais have friends as we know it.

They have people they borrow money from, and they have family.

Mostly they have family in place of friends.

 

Not suitable friends for us anyway, too lacking in education and general knowledge of the world while thinking they are much better/important than they really are, and at the same time being extremely sensitive and touchy, likely to try and kill you at any moment.

Just my opinion, maybe they aren't like that at all and the problem is me.

Edited March 17 by BritManToo