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My neighbour killed herself yesterday opposite my house

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I have had the man who lives opposite working on my house for the last two months as he is a construction laborer and work has dried up. He is OK we have known him many years. His father, not in great health also cannot find any work. The son had been working on and off in Bangkok and on construction around Kalasin but that had dried up.

 

He lives in a modest house opposite to ours on government land with his father and his second wife. This lady aged around 40-45 has been behaving very erratic of late as in pretending to answer a mobile phone when she doesn't possess one. She told me last week that the government was spying on her via her satellite dish. She seemed a bit unbalanced, but I, like everybody else, just ignored her.

 

She has been over here shouting at her husband constantly whilst he has been working, and he tends to ignore her. He is quite placid and a non drinker. She on the other hand, shouts and screams and does not listen to anything or anybody. My partner has tried to cool her down as have other neighbors.

 

Yesterday morning at 6am she was shouting again and I presumed at her husband. I had got up early waiting for the local barbers to open at 7am. The shouting continued and I switched off , had a coffee, got in the car and left.

 

I returned an hour later, and saw a mass of motorbikes roadside directly in front of my house along with ambulance, fire brigade and the Police. I immediately thought of my other half's mother, who is frail and early eighties. I pulled up and the bikes made way for me to get into my drive. I have never seen as many vehicles outside my house. I spotted my partners mother in the fray and was relieved.

 

I got out of the car and was told quickly, the wife of my handyman had just killed herself by hanging in the outside shed. I was shocked, she was ranting and raving less than an hour earlier.

 

I asked why the husband hadn't prevented it and was told he had buggered off collecting mushrooms as he couldn't sleep for his wife ranting and the father, suspected nothing when it went quiet and was just glad of the peace. So, she was in effect, shouting at herself. A troubled mind and I hadn't seen the signs, mainly because we had just got accustomed to her ravings.

 

It's come out that there is money troubles there with little or no work, and a tough life at the best of times. They certainly had been OK for money this last few weeks.

 

Just another statistic and a human who has died indirectly affected by the Covid19 epidemic that will go and be forgotten.

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  • I'm sure the pandemic didn't help but this sounds like actual mental illness and likely would have ended badly even without Covid.

  • Realistically there was not much you could do. The employment you provided to her husband was probably the most positive contribution you could make to their family.

  • BenDeCosta
    BenDeCosta

    Mental illnesses are not properly diagnosed and treated in Thailand as they are in the West.

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9 minutes ago, Scouse123 said:

Just another statistic and a human who has died indirectly affected by the Covid19 epidemic that will go and be forgotten.


I'm sure the pandemic didn't help but this sounds like actual mental illness and likely would have ended badly even without Covid.

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13 minutes ago, Scouse123 said:

A troubled mind and I hadn't seen the signs, mainly because we had just got accustomed to her ravings.


Realistically there was not much you could do. The employment you provided to her husband was probably the most positive contribution you could make to their family.

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6 minutes ago, Poet said:


I'm sure the pandemic didn't help but this sounds like actual mental illness and likely would have ended badly even without Covid.

 

Mental illnesses are not properly diagnosed and treated in Thailand as they are in the West.

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19 minutes ago, Scouse123 said:

This lady aged around 40-45 has been behaving very erratic of late as in pretending to answer a mobile phone when she doesn't possess one. She told me last week that the government was spying on her via her satellite dish.

sounds like schizophrenia. 

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6 minutes ago, Poet said:
18 minutes ago, Scouse123 said:

Just another statistic and a human who has died indirectly affected by the Covid19 epidemic that will go and be forgotten.


I'm sure the pandemic didn't help but this sounds like actual mental illness and likely would have ended badly even without Covid.

 

Mental illness comes in all sorts of flavors. There's a lady across the street from our house who every so often gets all violent and shouty and throws her other lodgers out. There's a lot of lao khao consumed by all the occupants but despite living next door to the moobahn yaaba dealer, nobody thinks she's messed up on that. She has come to our house to give gifts to the kids on their birthdays and when she has an excess of any food, she shares with the neighbors. I have spoken to her on a couple of occasions and she comes across as polite and quite smart. She's probably just bipolar and when the partying gets a bit heavy, she goes loco for a few hours.

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22 minutes ago, Scouse123 said:

Just another statistic and a human who has died indirectly affected by the Covid19 epidemic that will go and be forgotten.

 

She was suffering from a mental illness, which I doubt was brought on by covid. Most likely paranoid schizophrenia. 

 

There is very little medical / government assistance for mental illness in Thailand.  Care often falls upon untrained family members who have little financial means. It's a disgrace.  

 

Often, the mentally ill here hurt / kill an innocent member of the public, or hurt / kill themselves.        

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Indeed sad, RIP

 

Got to feel for the members left behind too.

 

Continue to do what you can to keep him employed with your big heart, maybe even talk to a few other farangs around who might need some work done on their houses.

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31 minutes ago, Poet said:

I'm sure the pandemic didn't help but this sounds like actual mental illness and likely would have ended badly even without Covid.

Agree, the mentally ill are very hard to deal with.

The husband must have endured a lot.

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Actually, this is a well written story, background, build up, climax and resolution. Takes the reader in. I personally don't see that death is always a bad thing. Maybe the best thing in this case.

There's more suicides or attempts than what we see in the media.

 

It's very sad when calls to a suicide hotline are not received.

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Scouse123 said:

She seemed a bit unbalanced, but I, like everybody else, just ignored her.

I don't blame you.......She's crying out for help, but we are not professionals.  Sure, we can try to help everyone, but that's impossible.  I wonder if we would help more back in our home country.......maybe, maybe not.   I've given thousands of baht worth of stuff to Thai friends, but then walk right by a guy who looks like he really needs 10 baht.  

 

difficult situation.  

We've got 2 friends with serious mental health issues.  One committed suicide, the other barely hangs in there.  Both were former yaba addicts.  Seems this drug really messes with your brain, and is now selling for something like 20 baht a pill in the villages.  These new ones are scary.

 

https://thethaiger.com/hot-news/drugs/new-yaba-pill-laced-with-crystal-meth-to-increase-potency

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Lots of folks with mental illness are effectively locked out of the health care systems now due to Covid restrictions. 

 

Not just in Thailand.

21 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Do they know about menapause and HRT in Thailand ? She was of that age.

 

Just a thought.

Yes, HRT is available here.

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I have a neighbour (female) who is also off her rocker. She'll walk  down the soi towards the main street and back 7-8 times a day (or more), all the while having a heated discussion with the ghosts in her head. I often hear her shouting when she is at home (with her husband and 2 kids).

From snippets the neighbours have mentioned, she used to be a sex worker and apparently did (or does) drugs. (From her looks, she probably was never big earner and probably spent most of her time on Beach Rd.)

Once in awhile she'll see me in the car port and try to bum 20 baht off me for cigarettes. I pat my pockets and tell her I don't have any money and she goes away. Always smiles and is polite.
15 minutes (give or take) later I'll see her walking back to her house, usually with a soda or coffee from 7-11 and some cigarettes, still having an animated conversation with the voices in her head.

I don't think I could live in a house like that, let alone raise kids in it.

Thailand's "social safety" net is lacking but one has to remember that a very large portion of the people (and businesses) here pay virtually no taxes at all, therefore the gov't doesn't have the luxury of establishing a better system to take care of the elderly, infirm and mentally challenged.

Yes, I know they can somehow find money for submarines and such but are a drop in the bucket compared to what it would cost to effectively deal with all the health issues in the country.

It's something I like to point out to people when comparing countries like Canada and Germany to Thailand. My (Thai) ex is in Germany and sees how they operate and I know how Canada operates but then I point out - how much of her salary (or mine back in the day) went straight off the top to taxes, with the possibility of having to pay more at the end of the (fiscal) year.
Germany is apparently similar to Canada in that regards as it seems they take 30-35% of your salary from every paycheque. 

That goes a long way to paying for things like better police, better healthcare, better education (and so on). Thailand is decades away from even being close to being able to do the same thing.

Which means also being decades away from being able to properly take care of those in need.

She was the right age for menopause, this could have been the trigger... unless she left a note no one will ever know for sure.

16 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Sounds like she needed medication and help but sadly everyone ignored her

Perhaps she refused assistance if and when offered, working with people who have no insight into their Mental illness, even if they do attend for assessments and therapy. 

1 hour ago, Kerryd said:

Germany is apparently similar to Canada in that regards as it seems they take 30-35% of your salary from every paycheque. 

Thailand's tax rates are the same for the highest earners, 30% and 35%. 

Part of life for humans is dealing with those who should not have survived, according to the rule of "Survival of the fittest".  

Humans and their medical advances continue to strive to keep even those with terminal conditions alive as long as possible. Pharmaceutical companies and hospitals are the only ones reaping the benefits. 

Illogical and even inhumane is many cases IMO

Peace

@Scouse123

 

From what you described, it's more like a mental health problem rather than financial problems.

 

In case your neighbour construction guy can't find anymore work, I know Chiang Mai needs construction workers as I have trouble finding them and they are always busy.

2 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

Perhaps she refused assistance if and when offered, working with people who have no insight into their Mental illness, even if they do attend for assessments and therapy. 

Maybe, but i see Beach road people with mental issues, I'm pretty sure they get happy pills

Why does this need publicity on the forum?

3 hours ago, Kerryd said:

Germany is apparently similar to Canada in that regards as it seems they take 30-35% of your salary from every paycheque. 

How is  a comparison of income tax related to this sad tale? 

I think a lot of folks are going a little crazy.   Especially extroverts who suddenly have to be at home all the time or most of the time.   We were  pretty much travelling year round for the past 5-6 years right up until almost getting stuck in Japan during the Covid flight cancellations.  Haven't been out of central Thailand in 15 months now.   Have even started surf skating and posting on TV again after a decade long hiatus....  which is basically like taking up knitting when you'd rather be snowboarding.

O P, the aid that you provided may have minimized the family's stress level; consequently, your actions may have extended her life.

 

RIP.

What's even more sad than the story itself is that some <deleted> put a laughing smilie on the original post...

 

image.png.26d6da0271f00a3f4742c5669b3c469b.png

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