Where can I go to find myself

[JimTripper]

1 hour ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

What is the problem? Where are you hitting a barrier that causes you discomfort or distress or makes you feel lost? Stop doing those things if possible.

I don't think they know the answer, but are not content to just sit where they are. The question is, where do they go to find themselves?

[EVENKEEL]

I recommend a joint, few ice cold beers and a nice semi deserted beach. That puts everything into perspective.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

20 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

I don't think they know the answer, but are not content to just sit where they are. The question is, where do they go to find themselves?

Actually I think the answer may be gym. No talk. No this and that. You lift the weights or not. You find yourself through testing yourself. If no gym for a week the mind can wander and think too much. So along with other suggestions gym could be where one can find oneself or at least can help one to stop looking for something that might not be a thing.

[Old Nomad]

As much as I love traveling to exotic locations, to find oneself might be easier in ones own culture. A new culture might be too distracting.

Assuming your are Australian: how about finding a retreat in NZ.
https://www.theurbanlist.com/nz/a-list/new-zealands-best-retreats

 

Some answered you were too old. That is nonsense! Even psychotherapie is worth it at any age.

[JimTripper]

8 hours ago, Old Nomad said:

As much as I love traveling to exotic locations, to find oneself might be easier in ones own culture. A new culture might be too distracting.

Maybe he is looking to lose himself. Anything but sitting at home looking in the mirror works!

[GammaGlobulin]

If you have money, then maybe Scotland. 

 

If you don't have money, then maybe Chiang Rai. 

 

Either way, the best way to find yourself may be to find a woman who is both very kind and half your age. 

 

Otherwise, you could devote the rest of your life to doing good works. Such a thing would provide you meaning in life. 

 

If you are worried about your own demise, and if you are feeling angst about ceasing to exist, then contact an attorney and set up a trust fund. 

 

Put your house in order, and then you will feel better. 

 

After doing this, then I would suggest that you establish some personal goal. For example, you might like to ride the rails by traveling on trains throughout India. 

 

If you did this, you would no longer have time to worry about much of anything. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 10/22/2022 at 5:57 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

But I think another option is doing something different and maybe exhausting. I.e. work on a farm

Sorry to burst that bubble, but unless you know different farms than I do, farming these days isn't exhausting. Almost everything is mechanised, and farmers ride m'bikes not horses.

We used to move hay bales by hand, but now it's all big bales that take a tractor to move, and fed out by a machine.

Even milking cows is pretty much mechanised.

About the only thing requiring regular exertion now is moving electric fences, and docking lambs.

Real exertion for such as fencing is done by contractors and a lot of their work is done by machine anyway.

I loved working on a farm, but there isn't much money in being a farm hand, and the boss has so much paper work that it's stressfull.

 

However, you would be right about working on a building site, providing they'll take unskilled workers on.

Perhaps a reasonable option is fruit picking. Physical work in the open air.

That's something they haven't mechanised yet, though that's being worked on already.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Either way, the best way to find yourself may be to find a woman who is both very kind and half your age. 

and what shop can I find one of those at? Just trying what was walking around didn't work out too well for me before.

[thaibeachlovers]

12 hours ago, Old Nomad said:

As much as I love traveling to exotic locations, to find oneself might be easier in ones own culture. A new culture might be too distracting.

Assuming your are Australian: how about finding a retreat in NZ.
https://www.theurbanlist.com/nz/a-list/new-zealands-best-retreats

 

Some answered you were too old. That is nonsense! Even psychotherapie is worth it at any age.

Good Golly, seems like many Kiwis have decided that Oz is the better country to live in, and are emigrating there. IMO he's already in the right country.

If I were still of working age I'd have been over there years ago.

 

Anyone wanting to move to NZ better have a truckload of cash if they think they are going to buy a house.

[VocalNeal]

Q. Where can I go to find myself? 

 

A. Anywhere on a motorcycle.????

 

There's an old saying, 'You never see a motorcycle parked outside of a psychiatrist's office'.

[Iamfalang]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Good Golly, seems like many Kiwis have decided that Oz is the better country to live in, and are emigrating there.

Australia ranks the highest among more than 20 countries for meth use

[JimTripper]

22 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and what shop can I find one of those at? Just trying what was walking around didn't work out too well for me before.

Probably not in a go-go bar.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Probably not in a go-go bar.

Good looking gogo girls thought they were special, so never an option for me as a long term option, though there was one that really was a bit special.

I still dream about the good old days when every night was in a gogo and every dawn had a new face to look at. Happy days back then.

[FolkGuitar]

The only Zen you find at the top of the mountain is the Zen you bring up with you.

[Iamfalang]

first, inner peace.  Not sure what that means, but find that.   Then go a few weeks without anything bothering you.  I am not sure how that feels.  Then invite others into this peacefulness.  I have no idea what this is like.    lol.

 

Pattaya, crazy every night, beers to dull the mind, fried food to kill the brain, and girls who hate you more than you hate yourself.......but they love your money.

 

this is the way.   lol 

[rumak]

On 10/21/2022 at 9:34 PM, georgegeorgia said:

Thankyou !????

After going there I left a completely new man.  Sometimes I can not even remember who I am.  I spend countless hours,  even days,   when I relax in peace as i recite the lovely mantra that was especially picked for me by the american monk :    

I start with a simple   OM     OM     OMMMMMMMMMMM

as one progresses through the hours and hours of learning the true meaning of life emerges....    

Sing along brother !

 

 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Iamfalang said:

and girls who hate you more than you hate yourself.......but they love your money.

You must be picking the wrong Thai ladies.

All the ones I've let pick me seemed happy enough with their choice.

Walk in, sit down, order a beer, and let the girls approach you, works every time.

 

Ways to have an epic fail, demand the one hiding as far away from you as possible, order a soft drink, arrive with a bunch of drunk mates, don't be rude to the fat one that tries to choose you when you reject her.

[malthebluff]

I dont think you would find yourself being alone and being alone could make your feelings worse, that said I live in a very very quiet of Phuket very cheap rent (3500 baht ) 2 bed house in kind of a complex of only 4 houses, all the mod cons good internet and cable tv, very safe and secure with excellent naughbours, we have BBQS each month and help each other out when needed but we dont live in each others way, I am  around 1 hour from the best beaches and 20 mins to the big shops, it's nice to be alone but also nice knowing I can talk to people when I wont to and in my terms, I am 62 now and felt the same 20 years ago when I left and for me it's the best thing I ever did. No more being screwed by government tax and paying out big for any necessary stuff. If I was you iwould come to Thailand and travel around  you would know yourself when you find what you search for as recommendations from others suit others and may not suit you. 

[JimTripper]

5 hours ago, malthebluff said:

I dont think you would find yourself being alone and being alone could make your feelings worse, that said I live in a very very quiet of Phuket very cheap rent (3500 baht ) 2 bed house in kind of a complex of only 4 houses, all the mod cons good internet and cable tv, very safe and secure with excellent naughbours, we have BBQS each month and help each other out when needed but we dont live in each others way, I am  around 1 hour from the best beaches and 20 mins to the big shops, it's nice to be alone but also nice knowing I can talk to people when I wont to and in my terms, I am 62 now and felt the same 20 years ago when I left and for me it's the best thing I ever did. No more being screwed by government tax and paying out big for any necessary stuff. If I was you iwould come to Thailand and travel around  you would know yourself when you find what you search for as recommendations from others suit others and may not suit you. 

You found yourself through cheap housing, interesting.

[malthebluff]

2 hours ago, JimTripper said:

You found yourself through cheap housing, interesting.

What's so interesting about cheap housing you must live a very dull life to find anything so dull as cheap housing interesting. The point was that he would find it hard to live completely alone in trying to find himself and could make his feelings worse

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, Iamfalang said:

Pattaya, crazy every night, beers to dull the mind, fried food to kill the brain, and girls who hate you more than you hate yourself.......but they love your money.

All good. Some enjoy beer- all good to drink it ( in moderation ), fried food is yummy, didn't care if girl hated me as long as pretended to like me as long as necessary, and then she went away. Cheaper than the girl that loved me and ended up with me hating her after getting married.

[LaosLover]

If you're even asking how to find yourself, that means you're already well down that road, a road not taken by many people. Even the simple aspiration sets you well apart.

 

So just keep doing what you're already doing: talking to people, dipping into new idea's, loving and forgiving yourself, loving and forgiving others. You don't need an outside guru or a prison sentence of a long term meditation retreat (unless that's what you like, in which case I say try 3 days first).

 

When I was young, I was very moved by the Springsteen lyric, "take a knife and cut this pain from my heart", but it's not workable. Your heart wants, demands gentler healing.

 

It's not about tramping around in the Himalayas', it's about feeling right. You can only feel right by living broadly right over time. You can't big-experience yourself into that. You have to show up every day, punch the you-time clock, and do the work. As per the joke, wherever you go, there you are.

 

For me, Insight Meditation was a big breakthrough, partic. via Joseph Goldstein's take, of which there are hundreds of free hours on Youtube, along with his many worthy peers's work too. I just listened to a bunch of Lisa Ernst's talks on Soundcloud. A lot of people love Pema Chodrin.

 

These teachers stay true to Buddhist concepts, but reframe them for Western sensibilities. As Big B himself said when asked what people should do when they'd already done everything, "just abide".

[Photoguy21]

On 10/21/2022 at 9:49 PM, BostonJoe said:

  How does someone find themselves ? Okay I'm lost  Is this a trick question 

Does this have anything to do with the famous saying "Do you know who I am?"

[seedy]

On 10/21/2022 at 8:51 PM, georgegeorgia said:

Im 62 and I just will take a year off from my work to find myself

There is a Wat near Mae Hong Son where English speaking monks live and teach.

But running to - or away - from whatever is not , IM not so HO, wise.

You can Run, but you Can't Hide.

[ThailandRyan]

Strip naked and look in the bathroom mirror, there you will find yourself......the true you with nothing to hide your exterior from your interior.

[Sparktrader]

On 10/25/2022 at 6:34 PM, JimTripper said:

You found yourself through cheap housing, interesting.

He doesnt have to work hard for expensive ones therefore more fun time

[Sparktrader]

On 10/28/2022 at 5:56 PM, seedy said:

There is a Wat near Mae Hong Son where English speaking monks live and teach.

But running to - or away - from whatever is not , IM not so HO, wise.

You can Run, but you Can't Hide.

People get old or die. Imo the op should write down his top 5 hobbies or interests. Go do them.

 

What makes one happy could make another unhappy.

 

If travel,food, women, massages, temples are your top 5 then Thailand is it.

 

I find myself travelling.

[Sparktrader]

On 10/28/2022 at 6:00 PM, ThailandRyan said:

Strip naked and look in the bathroom mirror, there you will find yourself......the true you with nothing to hide your exterior from your interior.

Over 50yos shouldnt do that

[Sparktrader]

On 10/24/2022 at 9:28 AM, Iamfalang said:

Australia ranks the highest among more than 20 countries for meth use

Aussies are miserable. Many go to Bali or Thailand to escape the misery.

[Sparktrader]

On 10/25/2022 at 9:24 PM, malthebluff said:

What's so interesting about cheap housing you must live a very dull life to find anything so dull as cheap housing interesting. The point was that he would find it hard to live completely alone in trying to find himself and could make his feelings worse

Easy to get gf. The west is more lonely even if you have a wife cause its dog eat dog. 

 

Thailand is more fun.