How Can I Help My 10 Year Old Thai 'Stepdaughter'?

[siftasam]

I know that I must speak to my Thai lawyer about this, but I wondered if anyone has any experience of, or thoughts on, a bad situation I face.

 

I have yet more serious surgery soon. I am 77 years old.

 

My EX-girlfriend (EX for 6 years) still lives in my house because I 100% support her wonderful 10 year old daughter. I call her my 'daughter'. Inevitably, that means I support her mother too but there is no legal affiliation between her mother and me. She is a bad woman to me but, because of her daughter, I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc.

 

My EX doesn't deserve to inherit. My daughter does.

 

But can I leave everything to a 10 year old girl? Even if I can, a big problem would be the executor. I have nobody and, obviously, I cannot ask one of her family. A lawyer can be an executor but I cannot see this working. Much too complicated and expensive.

 

I want my daughter to continue living in the house. 

 

What if I left my house to my EX together with some money? Could I then arrange with my lawyer that the rest of my money (enough for my daughter to finish her schooling) be 'invested' for her? The only safe way would seem to be in a Thai bank?

 

But held for her until what age? Inflation would presumably far exceed interest paid at a bank BUT at least she would have some money when she is say 16 or 18. And she is intelligent enough to use it wisely, I think. Her mother would have spent most of it on herself long before, without any thought for the future. My EX would have to get a job meanwhile, something she has not had for 8 years.

 

I presume, if I do this, that I must involve a lawyer so that my daughter will be able to access this account without any problem when she reaches the contractually stipulated age. I don't think I can arrange this legally myself with the bank?

 

A difficult situation. Many thanks for any comments!

[BritManToo]

Just leave everything to your step daughter. She can inherit anything except debt.

[eisfeld]

Just now, BritManToo said:

Just leave everything to your step daughter. She can inherit anything except debt.

The problem is that her mother as the legal guardian can do pretty much anything she wants with her daughters inheritance. A friend of mine is facing the same issue and hasn't found a cost effective solution yet. If it's more money then a reputable law firm setting up a trust or acting as custodian until she is 18 can work but it costs proper money.

[eyeman]

I would be more concerned with losing the house after passing if the intent is for your daughter to remain there, as this can be used as collateral for debt, family debt, sisters cousin debt, sisters dog's cousin's noodle shop upgrade, or settlement of the inevitable gambling and lottery ticket bonzas. I would work to securing this rather than the extra money first.

[JBChiangRai]

What you really want is a trust, unfortunately, it doesn't exist in Thai law.

 

However, there is something similar, it's called "controller of property".  

 

You need to talk to a lawyer about "controller of property" until the girl reaches adulthood, 20 years old in Thailand.  

[BritManToo]

25 minutes ago, eisfeld said:

The problem is that her mother as the legal guardian can do pretty much anything she wants with her daughters inheritance. A friend of mine is facing the same issue and hasn't found a cost effective solution yet. If it's more money then a reputable law firm setting up a trust or acting as custodian until she is 18 can work but it costs proper money.

Op can leave house to step daughter, and it can't be sold or borrowed against until she's 21.

 

Money is more difficult as Thailand doesn't allow trust funds.

 

@eyeman  Your post is incorrect, you can't borrow against property owned by a minor.

[eyeman]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Op can leave house to step daughter, and it can't be sold or borrowed against until she's 21.

 

Money is more difficult as Thailand doesn't allow trust funds.

 

@eyeman  Your post is incorrect, you can't borrow against property owned by a minor.

Maybe i read it wrong? but to me it seems the OP talks twice about leaving his house to the EX and seems more focused on the rest of the money.  If it's the case about property owned by a minor can't be sold then of course that would seem would be the way to go..

[1] I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc

[2] What if I left my house to my EX together with some money?
 

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, eyeman said:

Maybe i read it wrong? but to me it seems the OP talks twice about leaving his house to the EX and seems more focused on the rest of the money.  If it's the case about property owned by a minor can't be sold then of course that would seem would be the way to go..

[1] I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc

[2] What if I left my house to my EX together with some money?
 

Best to leave your house to the person you want to own it.

 

[Lacessit]

Leave the assets to your stepdaughter. I'd suggest finding a reputable solicitor to act as executor, then the ex-girlfriend can do nothing.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

Leave the assets to your stepdaughter. I'd suggest finding a reputable solicitor to act as executor, then the ex-girlfriend can do nothing.

There was a firm in cm doing this .......... they stole most of their clients money.

As we aren't allowed to name and shame disreputable solicitors, how would you suggest finding a reputable one?

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

There was a firm in cm doing this .......... they stole most of their clients money.

As we aren't allowed to name and shame disreputable solicitors, how would you suggest finding a reputable one?

Probably word of mouth among foreigners, there's plenty of naming and shaming that goes on verbally. Slander is much more difficult to prove than libel, even in Thailand.

[gamb00ler]

I don't know what types of annuities are possible or available in Thailand.

 

Is it possible to purchase an annuity that simply holds the funds for a specific term and then pays out fixed amounts for a fixed term?

If yes, then you could purchase one that begins payouts when your step-daughter turns 20 and then pays monthly for the fixed term (maybe 10 years).  It may be possible to make yourself the annuity beneficiary but upon your passing your daughter would become the beneficiary.

[CashMoon]

Buy land, house, shop for your daughter and rent it to someone for 10 years. Is there any chance of doing something like this legally? Your inheritance will be protected until your daughter turns 20. 

[Gandtee]

On 1/19/2024 at 11:52 AM, BritManToo said:

There was a firm in cm doing this .......... they stole most of their clients money.

As we aren't allowed to name and shame disreputable solicitors, how would you suggest finding a reputable one?

Yes. My ex solicitor swindled me out of Bt200,000. Took him to court and it was agreed that he would pay regular amounts into the court. It never happened. He was sacked from his joint practice. The only satisfaction my wife and I got was to get him sacked from two non solicitor firms he worked at..

[Derek B]

On 1/19/2024 at 10:15 AM, siftasam said:

I know that I must speak to my Thai lawyer about this, but I wondered if anyone has any experience of, or thoughts on, a bad situation I face.

 

I have yet more serious surgery soon. I am 77 years old.

 

My EX-girlfriend (EX for 6 years) still lives in my house because I 100% support her wonderful 10 year old daughter. I call her my 'daughter'. Inevitably, that means I support her mother too but there is no legal affiliation between her mother and me. She is a bad woman to me but, because of her daughter, I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc.

 

My EX doesn't deserve to inherit. My daughter does.

 

But can I leave everything to a 10 year old girl? Even if I can, a big problem would be the executor. I have nobody and, obviously, I cannot ask one of her family. A lawyer can be an executor but I cannot see this working. Much too complicated and expensive.

 

I want my daughter to continue living in the house. 

 

What if I left my house to my EX together with some money? Could I then arrange with my lawyer that the rest of my money (enough for my daughter to finish her schooling) be 'invested' for her? The only safe way would seem to be in a Thai bank?

 

But held for her until what age? Inflation would presumably far exceed interest paid at a bank BUT at least she would have some money when she is say 16 or 18. And she is intelligent enough to use it wisely, I think. Her mother would have spent most of it on herself long before, without any thought for the future. My EX would have to get a job meanwhile, something she has not had for 8 years.

 

I presume, if I do this, that I must involve a lawyer so that my daughter will be able to access this account without any problem when she reaches the contractually stipulated age. I don't think I can arrange this legally myself with the bank?

 

A difficult situation. Many thanks for any comments!

If trusts are not available in Thailand and Thai property aside why do you not set one up in your home country?

[itsallmine68]

On 1/19/2024 at 10:15 AM, siftasam said:

I know that I must speak to my Thai lawyer about this, but I wondered if anyone has any experience of, or thoughts on, a bad situation I face.

 

I have yet more serious surgery soon. I am 77 years old.

 

My EX-girlfriend (EX for 6 years) still lives in my house because I 100% support her wonderful 10 year old daughter. I call her my 'daughter'. Inevitably, that means I support her mother too but there is no legal affiliation between her mother and me. She is a bad woman to me but, because of her daughter, I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc.

 

My EX doesn't deserve to inherit. My daughter does.

 

But can I leave everything to a 10 year old girl? Even if I can, a big problem would be the executor. I have nobody and, obviously, I cannot ask one of her family. A lawyer can be an executor but I cannot see this working. Much too complicated and expensive.

 

I want my daughter to continue living in the house. 

 

What if I left my house to my EX together with some money? Could I then arrange with my lawyer that the rest of my money (enough for my daughter to finish her schooling) be 'invested' for her? The only safe way would seem to be in a Thai bank?

 

But held for her until what age? Inflation would presumably far exceed interest paid at a bank BUT at least she would have some money when she is say 16 or 18. And she is intelligent enough to use it wisely, I think. Her mother would have spent most of it on herself long before, without any thought for the future. My EX would have to get a job meanwhile, something she has not had for 8 years.

 

I presume, if I do this, that I must involve a lawyer so that my daughter will be able to access this account without any problem when she reaches the contractually stipulated age. I don't think I can arrange this legally myself with the bank?

 

A difficult situation. Many thanks for any comments!

LAWYER for sure

[steven100]

On 1/19/2024 at 11:48 AM, Lacessit said:

Leave the assets to your stepdaughter. I'd suggest finding a reputable solicitor to act as executor, then the ex-girlfriend can do nothing.

 

This may be true ....  however,  in reality ...  later on the EX is going to convince / or coerce the daughter into signing the house over to her and the same will happen with any money ... I would bet that for sure. 

[Lacessit]

11 minutes ago, steven100 said:

 

This may be true ....  however,  in reality ...  later on the EX is going to convince / or coerce the daughter into signing the house over to her and the same will happen with any money ... I would bet that for sure. 

You may be right. One way around that is to specify in the will the house is not inherited by the daughter until she is an adult, same with any other assets. The executor pays the daughter a monthly allowance out of the assets until she is of age.

By then, the daughter can decide for herself.

[BusyB]

On 1/19/2024 at 4:15 AM, siftasam said:

I know that I must speak to my Thai lawyer about this, but I wondered if anyone has any experience of, or thoughts on, a bad situation I face.

 

I have yet more serious surgery soon. I am 77 years old.

 

My EX-girlfriend (EX for 6 years) still lives in my house because I 100% support her wonderful 10 year old daughter. I call her my 'daughter'. Inevitably, that means I support her mother too but there is no legal affiliation between her mother and me. She is a bad woman to me but, because of her daughter, I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc.

 

My EX doesn't deserve to inherit. My daughter does.

 

But can I leave everything to a 10 year old girl? Even if I can, a big problem would be the executor. I have nobody and, obviously, I cannot ask one of her family. A lawyer can be an executor but I cannot see this working. Much too complicated and expensive.

 

I want my daughter to continue living in the house. 

 

What if I left my house to my EX together with some money? Could I then arrange with my lawyer that the rest of my money (enough for my daughter to finish her schooling) be 'invested' for her? The only safe way would seem to be in a Thai bank?

 

But held for her until what age? Inflation would presumably far exceed interest paid at a bank BUT at least she would have some money when she is say 16 or 18. And she is intelligent enough to use it wisely, I think. Her mother would have spent most of it on herself long before, without any thought for the future. My EX would have to get a job meanwhile, something she has not had for 8 years.

 

I presume, if I do this, that I must involve a lawyer so that my daughter will be able to access this account without any problem when she reaches the contractually stipulated age. I don't think I can arrange this legally myself with the bank?

 

A difficult situation. Many thanks for any comments!

 

I've scrolled down through some of the replies which appear all tailored for Thailand. I'm potentially facing a similar situation. Though the mother is a decent friend I know the power of extended families.

 

I'm planning to have a life insurance payout (for if I die unexpectedly) handled by a friend/lawyer/trust  here in Germany. Do you not have a similar possibility in your own home country rather than trying to do it in Thailand?

[HighPriority]

2 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

You had only one job to keep a family together and raise your daughter.  Just leave before you cause more harm.

Is there a particular drug that you can recommend?

[AustinRacing]

She’s only 10. You have no idea how she’ll turn out as a teenager with no father figure and a not so good mother. I wouldn’t do anything if I were you. If you want to support her after you pass liquidate all your assets in Thailand, send the money back home, rent here, ask a family member back home to send her money provided she’s doing the right thing. Young Thai girl with no father and a nutcase of a mother having access to plenty of funds is a big target for vultures. Your thoughts are admirable but be careful that it may backfire on her. 

[Dan O]

On 1/19/2024 at 10:15 AM, siftasam said:

I know that I must speak to my Thai lawyer about this, but I wondered if anyone has any experience of, or thoughts on, a bad situation I face.

 

I have yet more serious surgery soon. I am 77 years old.

 

My EX-girlfriend (EX for 6 years) still lives in my house because I 100% support her wonderful 10 year old daughter. I call her my 'daughter'. Inevitably, that means I support her mother too but there is no legal affiliation between her mother and me. She is a bad woman to me but, because of her daughter, I made my EX the heiress in my Will to my house (held by usufruct), money etc.

 

My EX doesn't deserve to inherit. My daughter does.

 

But can I leave everything to a 10 year old girl? Even if I can, a big problem would be the executor. I have nobody and, obviously, I cannot ask one of her family. A lawyer can be an executor but I cannot see this working. Much too complicated and expensive.

 

I want my daughter to continue living in the house. 

 

What if I left my house to my EX together with some money? Could I then arrange with my lawyer that the rest of my money (enough for my daughter to finish her schooling) be 'invested' for her? The only safe way would seem to be in a Thai bank?

 

But held for her until what age? Inflation would presumably far exceed interest paid at a bank BUT at least she would have some money when she is say 16 or 18. And she is intelligent enough to use it wisely, I think. Her mother would have spent most of it on herself long before, without any thought for the future. My EX would have to get a job meanwhile, something she has not had for 8 years.

 

I presume, if I do this, that I must involve a lawyer so that my daughter will be able to access this account without any problem when she reaches the contractually stipulated age. I don't think I can arrange this legally myself with the bank?

 

A difficult situation. Many thanks for any comments!

Transfer the house to your daughter. Then move your other assets not needed here out and set up a trust in your home country with a law firm or trusted family member,  friend as executor with complete instructions of disbursement criteria. 

[john donson]

SOLUTION :

 

as usufruct holder, YOU can make a lease of 30 years, even you die, the lease taker has the rights to the house...

 

is there anybody you trust, that is adult and not your ex ?

 

with a lease registered on the chanote, the ex will not be able to sell it...

 

[john donson]

On 1/19/2024 at 10:21 AM, BritManToo said:

Just leave everything to your step daughter. She can inherit anything except debt.

 

her mother, as a guardian, could have access to the funds pretending it is for the education...

[john donson]

4 hours ago, Dan O said:

Transfer the house to your daughter. Then move your other assets not needed here out and set up a trust in your home country with a law firm or trusted family member,  friend as executor with complete instructions of disbursement criteria. 

 

NOT WITHOUT CONSENT of both the parents of the child

 

you think the ex will allow this ?

[john donson]

20 hours ago, steven100 said:

 

This may be true ....  however,  in reality ...  later on the EX is going to convince / or coerce the daughter into signing the house over to her and the same will happen with any money ... I would bet that for sure. 

 

not without a family court's judge's consent, in theory

 

only if it would benefit the minor

[steven100]

30 minutes ago, john donson said:

 

not without a family court's judge's consent, in theory

 

only if it would benefit the minor

and you think the Ex will do everything by the book ...

will the court's consent be requested when mama & daughter head off to the lands office to change the deed ownership name ?

and as soon as that money is released into the daughters account I am sure mama will have it moved over ....

 

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, steven100 said:

and you think the Ex will do everything by the book ...

will the court's consent be requested when mama & daughter head off to the lands office to change the deed ownership name ?

and as soon as that money is released into the daughters account I am sure mama will have it moved over ....

 

Land office won't allow sale of property held by a minor without a court order.

and a court order is almost never granted.

[Liverpool Lou]

On 1/19/2024 at 10:23 AM, eisfeld said:

If it's more money then a reputable law firm setting up a trust or acting as custodian until she is 18 can work but it costs proper money.

Individual trusts are not recognised in Thailand.

[it is what it is]

 

i've used a trust back home, if such a thing exists here?