Can U find love ...real love ?

[georgegeorgia]

 

My question is this ...

How many of you expats particular in Pattaya enjoy being alone & single ?

 

That is live by yourself and are independent...and don't want a relationship.

I say this because there was a discussion at my work today among us saying if you are looking for real real love & partner go to the Phillipines not Thailand .

(Removed)

 

Do U agree 

 

[PatOngo]

I believe you can buy love for around 1000 baht an hour on Walking Street!

[Kwasaki]

Finding a partner a wife whatever is down to the person and where they look,  there's beaut females all around the world, where you look is up to you. 

I prefer to be married not single. 

[CorpusChristie]

I prefer being single, living alone and not being loved up .

Really dont want to care for anyone else or fund their life , thanks very much 

[Dagfinnur Traustason]

Real love is in the eye of the beholder. How we look upon love, and what defines real love, is individual. That as well as the expectations of real love and the meaning of real love is different from one human beeing to another, makes your OP very diffuse. One person might prefer a black woman, while your hear people saying the Philippines is the best choice to find real love. How do you look at the definition of real love? Is it totally unconditional or does it come with rules and regulations? Could you just give real love to someone without any expectations?

What I am saying is that we all have expectations of love and that they all are different. A woman might need that you live up to the standards that gives her security in life. If so, does that make the love real or fake in your eyes? As a man you might want a woman that gives you affection and children. Does that make an infertile woman unable to give real love?

There are so many aspects on this topic, so it would be possible to write a book with more pages than the bible itself. However, I will stop here and leave you with this small information as food for thoughts. A good advice is to think yourself when it comes to dealing with real love, and not listen to how others define the subject.

[madmen]

So many cute pretty little things to fondle. 

 

What exactly is the benefit of a relationship in Thailand again? 

[onthedarkside]

Several trolling off-topic posts and a music video post have been removed.

 

[Dmaxdan]

Wow! From what I have read so far, this thread should be retitled - Can U buy love...real love? 

[Surelynot]

4 minutes ago, madmen said:

So many cute pretty little things to fondle. 

 

What exactly is the benefit of a relationship in Thailand again? 

If you are careful....you can have your cake and eat it.....I wasn't and I am now under lock and key for the foreseeable....

[richard_smith237]

I didn’t mind being single.. Had plenty of relationships here in my 20’s (moved to Thailand with work at 22).

 

I wasn’t looking for a wife or a relationship but met my Wife at a party for my close Thai friend (my wife is close friends with his wife). I was 33 she was 30. 

 

Things moved along quite naturally, family are lovely. In-laws are doting grandparents, Brother In-Law a very decent guy and doting uncle to my Son. We see the In-laws and Bro-inLaw at least once per week. 

 

 

Madmen in the post above asked what’s the benefit of a relationship in Thailand??? Some guys will never find any benefit I guess... but for me its quite simple: Happiness. 

 

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by richard_smith237

[georgegeorgia]

51 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

I prefer being single, living alone and not being loved up .

Really dont want to care for anyone else or fund their life , thanks very much 

Can I ask your age?

What about having someone who cares for you ?

[georgegeorgia]

43 minutes ago, Dagfinnur Traustason said:

Real love is in the eye of the beholder. How we look upon love, and what defines real love, is individual. That as well as the expectations of real love and the meaning of real love is different from one human beeing to another, makes your OP very diffuse. One person might prefer a black woman, while your hear people saying the Philippines is the best choice to find real love. How do you look at the definition of real love? Is it totally unconditional or does it come with rules and regulations? Could you just give real love to someone without any expectations?

What I am saying is that we all have expectations of love and that they all are different. A woman might need that you live up to the standards that gives her security in life. If so, does that make the love real or fake in your eyes? As a man you might want a woman that gives you affection and children. Does that make an infertile woman unable to give real love?

There are so many aspects on this topic, so it would be possible to write a book with more pages than the bible itself. However, I will stop here and leave you with this small information as food for thoughts. A good advice is to think yourself when it comes to dealing with real love, and not listen to how others define the subject.

Yes you are right 

I guess real love to me is having someone to care for & vice versa 

 

But..having said I'm interested in guys particularly over the age of 50 who are happy being single ...and like to be by themselves...but it obviously means they have a "support" network somewhere else whether that be family overseas they talk to regularly or even mates down at the bars .

But Is there any expats on here who are single and don't have family left in farangland ..are U happy ?

[bkk6060]

My experience is Phillipines girls can be lovely but more desperate and potential scammers.

The poor areas there seem much worse off then Thailand

Some guys need a mommy to take care of them others just want a partner.

Seems like most here though have been married in their past life and prefer to be single here.

 

[Dagfinnur Traustason]

25 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Yes you are right 

I guess real love to me is having someone to care for & vice versa 

 

But..having said I'm interested in guys particularly over the age of 50 who are happy being single ...and like to be by themselves...but it obviously means they have a "support" network somewhere else whether that be family overseas they talk to regularly or even mates down at the bars .

But Is there any expats on here who are single and don't have family left in farangland ..are U happy ?

What are you saying? Are you saying that guys over 50 that are single, can´t be happy if they do not have the obvious network and family as you post it?

Still an individual question. We are not wired same. What you call good, others might se as bad. What you a happy about mothers might cry over.

Why so interested about totally useless information?

[georgegeorgia]

26 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

My experience is Phillipines girls can be lovely but more desperate and potential scammers.

The poor areas there seem much worse off then Thailand

Some guys need a mommy to take care of them others just want a partner.

Seems like most here though have been married in their past life and prefer to be single here.

 

You raise a good point about why people go to the Philippines or Thailand..some do want/ need  " ," mommy' type of wife to look after them.

There is a very large guy at my work place ..200kg ...he said today he couldn't find real love partner in Thailand no matter how hard he tried ...so off he went to the Phillipines and brought back to Australia a wife .

He is the type who needs that mommy type to look after him 

[georgegeorgia]

57 minutes ago, madmen said:

So many cute pretty little things to fondle. 

 

What exactly is the benefit of a relationship in Thailand again? 

I guess do u want or need someone to care for you ?

Who will visit u in hospital?

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, CorpusChristie said:

I prefer being single, living alone and not being loved up .

Really dont want to care for anyone else or fund their life , thanks very much 

What a crazy attitude, you prefer being alone, sad, hope you never find yourself in the situation i did.

Got wiped out by a crazy pickup driver, now paraplegic, got a fantastic loving/caring wife, without her i would be in a hopeless situation.

Nobody knows when an accident can happen, if the same that happened to me, happened to you, you would be knackered, think about it.

[473geo]

9 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

I guess do u want or need someone to care for you ?

Who will visit u in hospital?

I don't think love is based on who will visit you in hospital, although understand this is an example

 

Love is more about facing the challenges of life with some one who has the same sense of direction, a partner whose company you will thoroughly enjoy along the way, both carrying high regard for the needs and expectations of the other

[OneMoreFarang]

You can find love in Pattaya and you can even find love in the bars.

But if you try to find love don't start with throwing around money.

If a girl likes you she will sit with you even if you don't buy her a new drink every 10 minutes.

Ask her to see you outside the bar for lunch, dinner, whatever. Does she like that? Does she charge for seeing you for lunch?

I think the problem with many of us, and I include myself, is that we often only see what we want to see. Like i.e. a girl shows us in 9 ways that she isn't interested but maybe we can interpret one of her behaviors in a way that maybe she loves us. Conclusion: She loves me.

Yeah, great, look again, and don't ignore all the rest. Been there, done that.

[Surelynot]

Just now, 473geo said:

Love is more about facing the challenges of life with some one who has the same sense of direction, a partner whose company you will thoroughly enjoy along the way, both carrying high regard for the needs and expectations of the other

".....a partner whose company you will thoroughly enjoy...."

 

Sounds about right...for a Saturday night in Nana....I must be in love.

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, colinneil said:

What a crazy attitude, you prefer being alone, sad, hope you never find yourself in the situation i did.

Got wiped out by a crazy pickup driver, now paraplegic, got a fantastic loving/caring wife, without her i would be in a hopeless situation.

Nobody knows when an accident can happen, if the same that happened to me, happened to you, you would be knackered, think about it.

Yes Colin but if it doesn't happen he has landed himself for life with a wife he feels he does not need, can you imagine how that would go?

 

There are those who are better off single, and may have the money later in life to pay a carer

 

[473geo]

Just now, Surelynot said:

".....a partner whose company you will thoroughly enjoy...."

 

Sounds about right...for a Saturday night in Nana...

I think you'll find that is known as a good Saturday night out - not marriage or love

[Pilotman]

2 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

 

My question is this ...

How many of you expats particular in Pattaya enjoy being alone & single ?

 

That is live by yourself and are independent...and don't want a relationship.

I say this because there was a discussion at my work today among us saying if you are looking for real real love & partner go to the Phillipines not Thailand .

(Removed)

 

Do U agree 

 

love is indefinable and is different for all the individuals concerned.  It's not about race, or ethnicity, its about a common bonding,  a mutual support and respect,  a companionship, a meeting of minds and you may find that anywhere, or never find it at all.  I 'love' my Thai wife of many years standing, as we both  have all of that list in common, although we do of course come from totally different cultural backgrounds. The relationship and love with my late first wife was of the same list.  I certainly would not wish to be single again. 

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Yes you are right 

I guess real love to me is having someone to care for & vice versa 

 

But..having said I'm interested in guys particularly over the age of 50 who are happy being single ...and like to be by themselves...but it obviously means they have a "support" network somewhere else whether that be family overseas they talk to regularly or even mates down at the bars .

But Is there any expats on here who are single and don't have family left in farangland ..are U happy ?

 

I have a friend who is a hermit type, and he prefers being alone. Sometimes he thinks having a woman around would be pleasant. But, he does not seem willing to put up with any nonsense, and he does not like the associated expenses of having a woman to take care of. No getting around that. It can be expensive. 

[DaLa]

I thought four letter words were prohibited on this forum.

[Berkshire]

28 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

You raise a good point about why people go to the Philippines or Thailand..some do want/ need  " ," mommy' type of wife to look after them.

There is a very large guy at my work place ..200kg ...he said today he couldn't find real love partner in Thailand no matter how hard he tried ...so off he went to the Phillipines and brought back to Australia a wife .

He is the type who needs that mommy type to look after him 

I think finding "real love" for a farang in either the PI or Thailand would be difficult.  Now finding someone who will marry you, quite easy.  All  (or most) of us had "real love" back home back in the day.  Did it last?  Obviously not.  So not sure if that should be the goal.  In Thailand for example, there are countless single mothers who would be great wives.  If you can handle that, it's a target-rich environment.   

[Madgee]

There is a guy in town who is in his late seventies. Up until about three years ago he was enjoying the single life in every sense of the word, often seen with different women and many were 'stunners'. How the envious used to mock him! 

 

He suffered a mild heart resulting in him giving up his womanising ways so he got a live-in carer. Plenty of them about! I think he's actually pleased now as she dotes on him better than any wife would and he's not wealthy by any standards.

I reckon he's done it about right. Lucky maybe?  

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

Stay away from the stunners for an LTR. Absolutely not worth the headaches, the demands, the maintenance. I’ve seen those couples far too many times, and heard their ridiculous arguments. At the shopping malls, they want this and that, and oh god, at the banks. An absolute indifference to whatever their partner’s plight might be, and in its place, absolute greed. 

 

Sure, I reckon they get their minute of fun every once in awhile. But just like the ones you might’ve brought back to your room at some point, the rest of their time is then spent on their phones. Their job’s done, and like at a mall kiosk, they’re now between customers. Such an attitude has been formed since puberty, from all the attention they’ve had. If it’s not from you, then they’ve got their queue.

 

Of course, there’s no way to guarantee a sure bet against this. We’ll all get screwed sometime by somebody. But from personal and friends’ experience, you significantly improve your odds by sticking around your own age, and dialing back your requirements on attractiveness. Get someone cute and sweet, but absolutely not a head turner.

 

I just love the looks my wife and I get, “What’s she doing with him?” What’s she got?” (Not tooting my own horn, almost any farang represents an elevation in status in the eyes of most Thai women.) Well, it’s been actually possible and enjoyable to live with her.

[RichardColeman]

Much as people the mick, I found my wife on thaifriendly - school teacher from Nan. We chatted for 2 months, I flew to Thailand on 23rd August 2015 and married her on 10th September. We have been together over 5 years and have one daughter.

 

She is the most suitable person for me that I have ever found in my life, kind, considerate, gentle, great with money, cleaning fanatic and content with a non rich - but good - life. 

 

Have I played around whist together - no. Have I strewn my wild oats - Hell, yeah,  15 years visiting Pattaya previous you can bet I have.

 

However, I respect those living the single life - I've done it, and enjoyed it greatly (and expensively).

 

But, to those single guys, I can honestly say that there is a great security in having that person in your life that you know will be with you to the end and take care of you in your last days. I have too many friends now that lived the life and now are basically trapped in their homes awaiting death on their own. A good marriage to a good woman is better than an insurance policy and a few happy memories 

[CharlieH]

So many variants in this type of topic, many westerners are trained and believe a certain way in what they want or what they expect from a woman and vice versa, but women's lib and various other things screwed all that up. That relationship in the west falls apart for many men, they come East. Many then carry on those beliefs and usually end up getting burnt. Why? because simply put Eastern females are not the same, their thinking expectations are vastly different. They dont want to be boss, or even equal, they want to be told and the man to take care of them. The male is king, the breadwinner the boss, her "job" or role is to take care of him and the home/kids, that's there general attitude and how they actually want it.

 

You try that stuff in the west and you would be accused of all kinds of wrong. But here, and this is why I feel so many actually come here, and find wives here is because it throws back to how it was (should be?) and it quite simply works for many in the order of things. Women are more feminine, and play more of that traditional role. All in my humble experience and opinion of course. Your mileage may vary. ????

 

A good partner, good relationship is what you choose to make it. Its about what works for you and we are all different in our wants and needs. Be happy ! in whatever direction you choose.