I recently celebrated 20 years marriage and was reminiscing. 

 

I met my wife at the Amari Watergate hotel.  I saw a beautiful girl in the at Henry Beans bar, chatting to her friend and fell in love; I went over and said (in Thai), "excuse me, can you help me?" yes "I've lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?".  The rest is history.

I walked into the Star bar in CM to watch a game of football and one of the girls working there said to me "I don't have an ATM card, can I have yours" , nine years later , she's still using it 

Mine worked at Harrods and she helped me select some new shoes and sweaters.

 

Don't recall what our firsts words were but most likely

"hello, Iam looking to buy some shoes".

Bar fined mine from a gogo.

She said she didn't like me and didn't want to sleep with me.

It reminded me so much of my former Brit wife, I just had to have her.

He was on stage as a go-go boy in the gay part of BKK. He was no. 33 and had a smile from ear to ear. Took me half an hour to get up courage to put up my hand and say: "I'll have number 33 please".

 

Next Wednesday we celebrate our 10th anniversary since that night.

Met online on Thaicupid. 10 years ago.

They are not all hookers on dating sites.

First words were the normal text messages, I as making sure she wasn't looking for a customer, and she was making sure I wasn't asking how much, color of underwear, or sending dickpics.

 

It was a blind date, no really! 

 

I have a long term Thai friend who has lived in England for 30 plus years and she was always determined to fix me up with a suitable Thai lady. So she did some calling around her family and friends, found a good candidate and arranged the meeting, unbeknown to me whilst I was on holiday in Chiang Mai.

 

That was 2005 and my blind date and I have been happily together ever since with our 12th wedding anniversary fast approaching. 

 

I have no memory of what our first words were, 'hello, how are you" probably. It was quite a surreal day...

"DateinAsia" 2005

She was set up by her aunty.Posted her pic etc and initially she couldnt speak English, it was done in like a 3 way with her Aunty translating. Been together ever since.

Introduction from a friend - an arranged marriage you might say... and he did a much better job of choosing than I would have... he said nothing about her, only, she has a great family... and after 20 years, that is possibly the most important part of our relationship... 

Here's few good jokes on marriage and couples...

 

1. My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.

 

2. How do you know if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

3. I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm.
She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work.

4. I can remember when I got married and I can remember where I got married.
For the life of me, I can’t remember why I got married.

5. My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing.
I told them I wasn’t yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.

6. What’s the difference between a relationship and a video game?
They both start off fun and easy, then get a litter harder. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.

7. “I love you,” she said.
“Is that you talking,” I asked, “Or the wine?”
“It’s me talking to the wine.”

8. Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands?
Because they always have to repeat themselves.

 

9. My boyfriend and I met on the internet and my mother asked him what line he used to get me.
He said, “I just used a modem.”

10. What do a wife and a grenade have in common?
They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.

...

26 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Bar fined mine from a gogo.

She said she didn't like me and didn't want to sleep with me.

It reminded me so much of my former Brit wife, I just had to have her.

Well done. Funniest thing I have read in ages.

I've been Thai married going on 9 years.

Brilliant stuff????.

Recruited directly from the "Thai University of love" with Masters in English.

They all have the same introduction speech:

 

Hello handsome.

Where you from?

Where you go?

I go with you?

How long you in Thailand?

You can speak Thai?

You have Thai GF or wife?

You work in Thailand?

What's your job?

How much was your car?

How much is your salary?

You want to have a son?

You like big family?

 

etc...;

10 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

They all have the same introduction speech:

 

Hello handsome.

Where you from?

Where you go?

I go with you?

How long you in Thailand?

You can speak Thai?

You have Thai GF or wife?

You work in Thailand?

What's your job?

How much was your car?

How much is your salary?

You want to have a son?

You like big family?

Mine couldn't speak a word of English, but after 20 years, she can get by. She met some of her best friends at ECC when she started learning.

Internet dating 2005.........she  couldnt speak with her  mouth  full so  dunno what she said???? Ive managed to ignore anything she  says  for 16 years  now

10 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Mine couldn't speak a word of English, but after 20 years, she can get by.

me too...

I saw her on stage in a gogo bar.

Do you want a drink?

 

Soon after the first words: Let's go!

Can't remember the first words, but will never forget her first expression - a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

 

I'd been working late, and was walking back home the 'long way' to relax, and as I was going passed the entrance to a night club, I noticed that the girl managing the queue of customers had great legs.  I was on the other side of the road, she was busy with customers, so I took a long letcherous look at those legs.  As I scanned upwards I took in her shapely waist and finally reached her pretty face, to see her gently mocking eyes staring right at me.

 

She'd been looking at me the whole time, olong with half the queue of couples entering the club and two security guys.

 

Thinking this was not the best prelude to a cheesy chat-up line, I kept walking.  But that intelligent, mocking look was sooo hot I had to regroup and try again.

 

It was like that scene in Memphis Belle where the bomber turned around for another run at the target.  Luckily, she'd also noticed me walking home on earlier nights - I guess a guy dressed for work looked a bit out of place in a Thai nightclub area, so she was happy to chat and arrange to meet up the next day.

 

She turned up for our first date with a girlfriend as a chaperone - guess my letcherous stare made her wary ????

 

11 years later, I still stare at those legs, and she still gives me the mocking look.

1 hour ago, Dmaxdan said:

fix me up with a suitable Thai lady

Did they ask you what you want?

18, small, brown and innocent?

 

36 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

How much was your car?

How much is your salary?

You want to have a son?

You like big family?

I never made it that far. Or to quote Elvis:

"A little less conversation, a little more action please"

15 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Can't remember the first words, but will never forget her first expression - a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

 

I'd been working late, and was walking back home the 'long way' to relax, and as I was going passed the entrance to a night club, I noticed that the girl managing the queue of customers had great legs.  I was on the other side of the road, she was busy with customers, so I took a long letcherous look at those legs.  As I scanned upwards I took in her shapely waist and finally reached her pretty face, to see her gently mocking eyes staring right at me.

 

She'd been looking at me the whole time, olong with half the queue of couples entering the club and two security guys.

 

Thinking this was not the best prelude to a cheesy chat-up line, I kept walking.  But that intelligent, mocking look was sooo hot I had to regroup and try again.

 

It was like that scene in Memphis Belle where the bomber turned around for another run at the target.  Luckily, she'd also noticed me walking home on earlier nights - I guess a guy dressed for work looked a bit out of place in a Thai nightclub area, so she was happy to chat and arrange to meet up the next day.

 

She turned up for our first date with a girlfriend as a chaperone - guess my letcherous stare made her wary ????

 

11 years later, I still stare at those legs, and she still gives me the mocking look.

Ohhh, now I know why she disappeared so quickly.

Rumours were that a small farang has taken her away.

Congratulations.

 

Ten years +2 for us.

 

Andaman national park.

1 minute ago, Chad3000 said:

Congratulations.

 

Ten years +2 for us.

 

Andaman national park.

That's 12

Just now, RafPinto said:

That's 12

Together 2 before marriage.

 

Introduced by mutual friends.

 

She didn't speak a word of English.  Ahh, those were the days, of glorious silence........

Damned if I can remember, it was over 30 years ago. All I do know is that they proved to be the most expensive words I have ever uttered. 

Here some more relationship jokes...

 

11. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single.
Once you’re married, you can’t even change the television channel.

12. I saw my wife putting on her sexy underwear this morning. This can only mean one thing.
It’s laundry day.

13. Every morning I like to remind my wife who’s in charge by holding a mirror up to her face.

14. My husband and I have agreed to never go to bed angry with each other.
So far, we’ve been up for three days.

15. When my wife and I argue, I always get the last word.
They’re usually, “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

16. Once you’re married, people stop asking about your sex life.
They know you don’t have one.

 

17. I play the world’s most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.

18. I asked my wife which she liked better, my face or my body?
She said, “Your sense of humor.”

19. My wife prefers to take the stairs, but I always take the elevator.
I guess we were just raised differently.

20. How can you tell if a woman is divorced?
She’s bungee jumping for joy.

21. Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the “Terms of Use” on the internet.
Eventually, you just give up and say, “I Agree.”

22. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight!
Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on...

"I'll have the full English, tea and orange juice please"

That'll be 25 years next April, but married 16 years next February, I didn't rush. 

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

"DateinAsia" 2005

She was set up by her aunty.Posted her pic etc and initially she couldnt speak English, it was done in like a 3 way with her Aunty translating. Been together ever 

Saw the bit first about a 3 way with her aunty, then was ......disappointed!

????????????

On exit from Samui airport I was met by 3 lovelies, only expecting one, the first words were "which one you want?"

First words:

he: how much?

she: long time or short time?