The grim reaper, your wallet and your Thai Family..........

[swissie]

I have known many elderly Farangs in Thailand over the years. 2 of them committed suicide, because they didn't want to financially ruin their Family, due to foreseeable overwhelming hospital bills. Thus keeping their Thai Family financially "intact". As I gather, those Thai Families considerd this (as best as I can translate it) as an act of modern day "Chivallery", very much appreciated by traditional Thai-Folks.

Mirroring the same situation, as a Farang with a rather slim wallet, having the grim reaper knocking at your door? What would you do?

= Addressing Farangs with a long history of "Thai Family Ties" only.         Well understood.

[scubascuba3]

I think choosing an end date is a good thing

[sipi]

I'm worth more dead than alive and I'm still here. The misses told me she'd wheel me onto the highway if I was too much to handle, joking of course.

[RichardColeman]

22 minutes ago, swissie said:

I have known many elderly Farangs in Thailand over the years. 2 of them committed suicide, because they didn't want to financially ruin their Family, due to foreseeable overwhelming hospital bills.

Thank you for highlighting the exact reason I am living 2 retirements. Firstly my active retirement - call it 55 to 75 which i am happy to spend in Thailand health permitting with the wife, and then later my second, slow down retirement 77-death, which will be spent  back in my own UK wit the wife (then of 20+ years marriage), where I will not have to worry about the hospital bills.

 

What I cannot understand from the poster, is why going back home and getting potentially hospital care either free or more cheap, is less attractive then death ? No reason the wife cannot go.

 

I'd also ask are Thais equally being chivalrous in committing suicide to lessen the financial burden on the farang in the family ? I doubt it.

[CharlieH]

Given the opportunity, die with dignity and not be a burden to anyone would be the preferred choice of most I would think.

How you actually achieve that is another matter.

 

In an ideal world everyone would have access to "end of life" medication, where they can can choose to check out in their own way.

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

I think choosing an end date is a good thing

like Maude, in Harold and Maude?

[BritManToo]

49 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

What I cannot understand from the poster, is why going back home and getting potentially hospital care either free or more cheap, is less attractive then death ? No reason the wife cannot go.

Because that time 77+ is often spent in pain and suffering with very little quality of life.

I'm happy to give my 'Zimmer frame/nursing home' days a miss.

[robblok]

36 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Given the opportunity, die with dignity and not be a burden to anyone would be the preferred chouce of most I would think.

How you actually achieve that is another matter.

 

In an ideal world everyone would have access to "end of life" medication, where they can can choose to check out in their own way.

How very Dutch of you ????  My country has one of the best euthanasia laws int he world.

 

Im not often nationalistic but i think its a great thing to be able to choose ones own ending.

 

 

[KIngsofisaan]

48 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

Thank you for highlighting the exact reason I am living 2 retirements. Firstly my active retirement - call it 55 to 75 which i am happy to spend in Thailand health permitting with the wife, and then later my second, slow down retirement 77-death, which will be spent  back in my own UK wit the wife (then of 20+ years marriage), where I will not have to worry about the hospital bills.

 

What I cannot understand from the poster, is why going back home and getting potentially hospital care either free or more cheap, is less attractive then death ? No reason the wife cannot go.

 

I'd also ask are Thais equally being chivalrous in committing suicide to lessen the financial burden on the farang in the family ? I doubt it.

Sounds like you have a solid plan.

 

Not sure how things work in the UK, however, if you get seriously ill in your second retirement, can you stay at home or do you have to get shipped off to a nursing/care home?

 

In rural Isaan where we live, when people get to the point they are going to pass, the hospital will shoot them up with a bunch of morphine and send them home to die with the family.

 

My wife's grandfather passed this year at age 100. He was in the local hospital for a couple days only, then they sent him home to die. He survived another 4 or 5 days at home in bed, surrounded by family 24/7, then one evening died in his sleep.

 

I do not fancy going to a care home and spending my last few days there at all.

 

 

[ezzra]

Unfortunately there are many more who decide to shuffle off this mortal coil owing to unbearable health and mental issues than money problems...

Edited July 12, 2022 by ezzra

[phetphet]

2 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

call it 55 to 75 which i am happy to spend in Thailand health permitting with the wife, and then later my second, slow down retirement 77-death,

What are you planning to do from 75-77? Go back to work? ????

[zzaa09]

Overthinking most everything. 

[peterfranks]

12 hours ago, robblok said:

Im not often nationalistic but i think its a great thing to be able to choose ones own ending.

It should be everyone's right of freedom, something like the first amendment that Americans are so proud of.

 

If your health condition doesn't allow you a certain quality of life, why shouldn't you have the right to choose to leave? You' aren't a burden on anyone leaving by euthanasia, but since you don't get that option, suicide is the only way out.

 

I had a friend pass away recently. For the last month he was kinda vegetable, waiting in his bed for the grim reaper to come pick him up.

 

I really felt for him during that month, that he was forced to suffer, because government don't allow people the right to a quality life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2022 by peterfranks

[robblok]

14 minutes ago, peterfranks said:

It should be everyone's right of freedom, something like the first amendment that Americans are so proud of.

 

If your health condition doesn't allow you a certain quality of life, why shouldn't you have the right to choose to leave? You' aren't a burden on anyone leaving by euthanasia, but since you don't get that option, suicide is the only way out.

 

I had a friend pass away recently. For the last month he was kinda vegetable, waiting in his bed for the grim reaper to come pick him up.

 

I really felt for him during that month, that he was forced to suffer, because government don't allow people the right to a quality life.

 

 

 

It should be after consultation with some psychiatrist or something to be sure the person is not pushed into it by his or her family. Because that is the only problem with it that people might feel they have to do it to not be a burden on their family.

 

But I doubt it will ever happen that we will be totally free like that to decide too many religious people who want to oppose their views on others. Even in the Netherlands its those bible thumpers that are against it. 

 

I mean they believe life is a gift from god. Sure if they think like that then let THEM not do it but give freedom to others. Many religions are against this kind of freedom.

 

But it makes sense on a planet full of people and overpopulation.

[peterfranks]

27 minutes ago, robblok said:

But I doubt it will ever happen that we will be totally free like that to decide too many religious people who want to oppose their views on others. Even in the Netherlands its those bible thumpers that are against it. 

Until recently, Switzerland as the only country where assisted suicide was legal.

 

There were I think 4 organisations (clinics), where you could go to. Price was around 10K Euro.

 

Last I heard is that it has changed, and that now 2 doctors have to certify that you are suffering from a health condition that can not be cured.

[billd766]

14 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I think choosing an end date is a good thing

I think that choosing a way is better than choosing a time and date. It gives you more time to break it to the family and discuss the problems form both sides.

 

In my case it gives me time to teach my wife how to transfer my pensions from Wise to Thailand.

 

At the moment my 3 pensions go from the provider to wise. I do a manual transfer to Bangkok Bank and from there to Kasikorn Bank where our joint account is.

 

I brought it up yesterday and she asked why I used BBK and she asked why not straight to Kasikorn. My answer is the BBK transfers show up as an FTT which is what Immigration want to see.

 

If I do it through Kasikorn I have to open a new account, bring my passport, Thai ID, Yellow book, pension letters etc, plus my wife, her blue book, ID card etc. However I then have to go to Kasikorn call centre once per month to get credit advice notes to prove that the pensions come from offshore.

 

My marriage extension on income is due in October so I will set it up his year to start in November. That way when I die the pensions can keep coming to Kasikorn.

[Reposed]

Upon my arrival in this village, I looked for the poorest of families.

 

Without taking time for details, I have arranged for them to assume ownership of my belongings and cash. Not easy, and could go sideways, but one does ones best.

 

Thai family? No way. Even my dog is farang.

 

P.S. I would urge the AN powers that be to remove this <deleted> spell checker from this site. Since it t still does not know that farang is a word, it's <deleted>. Tired of having to correct the corrector.  

 

 

 

[Reposed]

17 minutes ago, peterfranks said:

Until recently, Switzerland as the only country where assisted suicide was legal.

 

There were I think 4 organisations (clinics), where you could go to. Price was around 10K Euro.

 

Last I heard is that it has changed, and that now 2 doctors have to certify that you are suffering from a health condition that can not be cured.

Who needs assistance? The unsure, perhaps? Then it becomes murder.

 

10k Euros? You have to pay to kill yourself? D@mn, that's crazy.

[scubascuba3]

20 minutes ago, billd766 said:

I think that choosing a way is better than choosing a time and date. It gives you more time to break it to the family and discuss the problems form both sides.

 

In my case it gives me time to teach my wife how to transfer my pensions from Wise to Thailand.

 

At the moment my 3 pensions go from the provider to wise. I do a manual transfer to Bangkok Bank and from there to Kasikorn Bank where our joint account is.

 

I brought it up yesterday and she asked why I used BBK and she asked why not straight to Kasikorn. My answer is the BBK transfers show up as an FTT which is what Immigration want to see.

 

If I do it through Kasikorn I have to open a new account, bring my passport, Thai ID, Yellow book, pension letters etc, plus my wife, her blue book, ID card etc. However I then have to go to Kasikorn call centre once per month to get credit advice notes to prove that the pensions come from offshore.

 

My marriage extension on income is due in October so I will set it up his year to start in November. That way when I die the pensions can keep coming to Kasikorn.

On death why would pensions keep coming? have you investigated if your wife is still entitled to all 3?

 

choosing an end date date is purely to avoid years of slow painful death, of course if you're fine, no need to

[Reposed]

13 hours ago, KIngsofisaan said:

I do not fancy going to a care home and spending my last few days there at all.

Both my parents passed in Hospice.

 

Surrounded by family, without pain. Can't think of a better place to die.

 

"Care home" is an ambiguous term.

[Reposed]

35 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

On death why would pensions keep coming? have you investigated if your wife is still entitled to all 3?

 

My mom received my dad's SSA and his teacher's pension for 22 years after his death. Totally legal.

[Chris.B]

14 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

Thank you for highlighting the exact reason I am living 2 retirements. Firstly my active retirement - call it 55 to 75 which i am happy to spend in Thailand health permitting with the wife, and then later my second, slow down retirement 77-death, which will be spent  back in my own UK wit the wife (then of 20+ years marriage), where I will not have to worry about the hospital bills.

 

What I cannot understand from the poster, is why going back home and getting potentially hospital care either free or more cheap, is less attractive then death ? No reason the wife cannot go.

 

I'd also ask are Thais equally being chivalrous in committing suicide to lessen the financial burden on the farang in the family ? I doubt it.

Ha! Free care? You will probably end up on a trolley in some hospital corridor somewhere.

[KIngsofisaan]

55 minutes ago, Reposed said:

Both my parents passed in Hospice.

 

Surrounded by family, without pain. Can't think of a better place to die.

 

"Care home" is an ambiguous term.

I can and it certainly won't be a hospice.

[KIngsofisaan]

1 hour ago, Reposed said:

Upon my arrival in this village, I looked for the poorest of families.

 

Without taking time for details, I have arranged for them to assume ownership of my belongings and cash. Not easy, and could go sideways, but one does ones best.

 

Thai family? No way. Even my dog is farang.

 

P.S. I would urge the AN powers that be to remove this <deleted> spell checker from this site. Since it t still does not know that farang is a word, it's <deleted>. Tired of having to correct the corrector.  

 

 

 

Farang is NOT a word in US dictionaries.

[LaosLover]

I talked to my wife about buying long term care insurance (not worth it, btw), and she said, Honey, I'm your long term care insurance".

 

I had a spouse die of a really miserable disease and she wanted me to assist in her suicide, but like I thought, when she got near the end, she didn't want to pull the trigger. It's a very small percentage of humanity that does.

 

People's wishes should be respected, but most people will want to hang around just for the prospect of still hanging around.

[Sparktrader]

15 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Given the opportunity, die with dignity and not be a burden to anyone would be the preferred choice of most I would think.

How you actually achieve that is another matter.

 

In an ideal world everyone would have access to "end of life" medication, where they can can choose to check out in their own way.

Get too many suicides. I would be dead already if there were easy access pills.

[kimamey]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Because that time 77+ is often spent in pain and suffering with very little quality of life.

I'm happy to give my 'Zimmer frame/nursing home' days a miss.

The thing is you don't know until it happens. 

When I was young I couldn't imagine being in my late 60s, deaf in one ear dealing with the after effects of prostate cancer but here I am. When I was married to my first wife the idea that in her early 40s she'd be diagnosed with aggressive Multiple Sclerosis and would be dead when she was 50 would have been unimaginable. Even in the early days if you'd told me the extent of personal care I would have to provide towards the end I would have said that it was something I couldn't do but slowly without realising that's what I did. Living here in Thailand wasn't something I would have thought possible.

I think we just grow with the situation we find ourselves in. Sometimes that may get too much and maybe we'll want to give up but I don't think you can make that decision until the time arrives.

[kimamey]

13 hours ago, phetphet said:

What are you planning to do from 75-77? Go back to work? ????

There's bound to be someone who's looking for a wrinkly stripper

[Denim]

16 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I think choosing an end date is a good thing

Yea ....but whose ? 

 

Is the MIL worth a bob or two  ?  Anyone else worth terminating for a useful windfall ? Data collection is your friend when deciding who to ' assist ' first . 

[billd766]

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

On death why would pensions keep coming? have you investigated if your wife is still entitled to all 3?

 

choosing an end date date is purely to avoid years of slow painful death, of course if you're fine, no need to

My state pension dies with me. However my widow is entitled to a % of my RAF and company pensions until her death.

 

Yes I did investigate that several years ago.