'You have enough mouth for two sets of teeth.' Passed down by my mother. R.I.P.

Nothing but a wankstain on the bedsheets of humanity

Fooktard

Sir Winston Churchill is a rich seam:

 

"Mr Churchill, if I were your wife I would feed you poison!"

 

"Madam, were I your husband I would gladly eat it!"

 

For, myself, I do rather favour: " Have you been on a course, no one could be that stupid naturally!"

The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

I work with Indian tourists and often complimented on my good English I just reply ty I've been practicing for 64 years ( I'm Scottish)

Or if they describe me as English I correct them and say it's a common mistake you Pakistanis make 

It's only for fun I don't care I've been described much worse

Biggest insult i could think of on this forum would be being mistaken as BigNob.

I thought your favorite insult was saved for your wife when you say that she thinks the sun shines out your butt

 

i think you insult everyone on the forum when you tell your whoppers.  

 

since i've been here; 'up to to you' and 'see you next time', i just love using them

Now that I'm thinking about it, I also really like bitchboy.

22 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Each to his own. Surely you must be tempted occasionally, when you encounter something egregiously stupid.

Not really I just put it down to them being stupid and ignore them.

On 11/12/2023 at 4:06 AM, dingdongrb said:

'Did your parents have any children that lived?'

That's one of my favourites too.

 

Another is "Where's the village that's missing its idiot?"

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

I thought your favorite insult was saved for your wife when you say that she thinks the sun shines out your butt

 

i think you insult everyone on the forum when you tell your whoppers.  

Your irrelevance must be very frustrating for you.

From a famous Brit to a famous Australian

 

"Why are you so fat?"

 

From that Australian to that Brit

 

"Because every time I have sex with your wife, she gives me a biscuit!"

were you born stupid or do you take pills? Go away in short jerky motions....

On 11/12/2023 at 1:33 PM, Morch said:

When is your baby due?

Its the way I'm stood.

Your mother swims out to passing ships.

6 hours ago, PJ71 said:

Biggest insult i could think of on this forum would be being mistaken as BigNob.

Did you take your bf to Samet yet?

4 minutes ago, bignok said:

Did you take your bf to Samet yet?

 

Jealous?

8 minutes ago, Two Plus Two said:

Your mother swims out to passing ships.

That was a dirty crack, speaking of dirty cracks, how's your daughter?

Just now, Morch said:

 

Jealous?

You go to?

Just now, Yellowtail said:

That was a dirty crack, speaking of dirty cracks, how's your daughter?

Last night i had sex with your mum but she kept calling out your name.

Just now, bignok said:

Last night i had sex with your mum but she kept calling out your name.

How was it? She still dead? 

12 minutes ago, bignok said:

Did you take your bf to Samet yet?

Maybe....

 

 

16 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

How was it? She still dead? 

555

16 hours ago, Dave0206 said:

I work with Indian tourists and often complimented on my good English I just reply ty I've been practicing for 64 years ( I'm Scottish)

Or if they describe me as English I correct them and say it's a common mistake you Pakistanis make 

It's only for fun I don't care I've been described much worse

 

Much worse than Scottish???   Not possible.

My favourite insult (which sounds like an apology) is "sorry if it's confusing".  Taken from Fawlty Towers when Basil is showing Mr Hutchison, the spoons man, a "map" of how to get from the hotel to the Post Office, and follows it up with "sorry if it's confusing."

 

 

It is a pity that one cannot buy intelligence , but anyway , you would not have enough money ....

On 11/12/2023 at 8:39 PM, save the frogs said:

Rodney Dangerfield:

 

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

 

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

 

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

 

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

 

 

Rodney Dangerfield? 

19 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Your irrelevance must be very frustrating for you.

What you seem incapable of understanding is that when you exaggerate your competence it is an insult to those who are actually competent

 

for example when you were so excited that someone in a store understood your request for something.   And then two weeks later claimed proficiency in Thai language.  You insulted all the people who have spent years learning.  
 

or maybe you did not gain proficiency in two weeks and are just boasting a few words learned in your usual self aggrandizing style? 
 

that is an insult to others who actually can