I don't, I think it is disrespectful but can often be a bit strange.

I also respect the husband so I speak Thai to her, mainly when I want to tell her what time to come over for playtime tonight and he's sitting with us.

You better had to mine, that way there is some chance she will understand what you are talking about.

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

And I don't mix with foreigners that drag their wife around with them.

I speak whatever is common to those present, I don't segregate or exclude.

 

If she is married to Farang she speaks English, (as an example) so why exclude him, its rude ! 

Don't know any farang wifes, or other farangs

Chai lao!

Sawadee Khap Khon Suay.

Sabadee mai.

Khoon duu Suay wan nee.

Harmless among falang acquaintances.

 

I once knew a Brit who was offended when I called him Johnny instead of John , though.

 

There are All kinds out there ,I suppose .

I got confused!  I thought you asked if I spoke Thai to 'farang wives', which seems like a silly idea if these wives are farang!!  Then I understood what you asked.  I would speak Thai only if a Thai partner did not understand English, and I would also speak English to the foreigner out of politeness.

 

Here in Laos some of my Lao friends speak fluent English but their Lao partners do not.  So I will always speak Lao when chatting with them both, out of politeness for the person who doesn't understand English.

 

Finally, my language skills are stretched because an old French guy lives in my village and he doesn't speak Lao or English or....  So I chat with him in French whilst simultaneously translating our conversation into Lao for the benefit of the village kids who always crowd around and want to ask questions of the French guy 🙂

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

And I don't mix with foreigners that drag their wife around with them.

Your post raises a number of comments/questions

Does your wife obey your orders not to speak to foreigners?

Do you actually take your wife with you when you go out? and if so how do people know she has not been "dragged about with them"?

8 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I don't, I think it is disrespectful but can often be a bit strange.

 

Sure, sometimes.

Can be many reasons, seems natural to speak Thai to Thais. Sometimes it obvious they misunderstood the English topic and sometimes they are just sitting glassy eyed and have no clue what the heck we carrying on about.

I don't consider that disrespectful at all.

No, but I sometimes talk with a farang wife who understands English, but her husband does not.

9 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

 

Scared it could be Bob Smith, who'll nip off with her to Koh Chang while you're taking a nap ????  

 

 

 

54 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Scared it could be Bob Smith, who'll nip off with her to Koh Chang while you're taking a nap ????  

Gold-diggers who hunt foreigners are what they are, best not to introduce them to possible upgrades.

If you've got one you want to keep, park them somewhere they can't meet other foreign men.

 

Obviously if yours is different and loves you for your youth, good looks, wit, etc. you won't need these precautions, but I don't have anything but my wallet to attract a woman.

10 hours ago, riclag said:

I once knew a Brit who was offended when I called him Johnny instead of John , though.

Johnny is a British slang term for a condom.

 

 

 

I speak broken Thai with my own gf all the time. And mostly I speak Thai, as good as I can, with other Thais.

The exception are business talks with Thais who know much better English that I know Thai. So, we talk in English.

 

And sometimes, if the Thai person speaks a little English, I might speak a little Thai and a little English. That's just the way I am used to do it.

And if I speak to the Thai gf or wife of a friend, I might have a little small talk with her in Thai, especially if her English is not so good.

 

In my case my Thai is limited, and I expect that farangs who live here since years and have a Thai gf or wife speak some Thai.

If they don't do that, then maybe that motivates them to learn it. 

 

I remember some time ago that when I was maybe playing pool with my gf in a pub where many people play together that one or the other farang thought he can chat her up only talking Thai to her. If I noticed that then I made sure he knows that I speak enough Thai to understand his intention. 

13 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I don't, I think it is disrespectful but can often be a bit strange.

Hi there, long time no see

Imo, all is depends on the situation.

Indeed, it can be funny when speak the language with your partner. It can be really rough, or can be nasty and even revenge. If you have an argument, probably you want to scream to the other side by using your native language. Finally, I don't think that speaking onther language is unrespectful per se

Yes. I do it mainly to practice my Thai. It could also incentivize the Farang to learn Thai, but neither of them is my main concern. Learning to speak Thai well is my main concern.

9 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Gold-diggers who hunt foreigners are what they are, best not to introduce them to possible upgrades.

If you've got one you want to keep, park them somewhere they can't meet other foreign men.

 

Obviously if yours is different and loves you for your youth, good looks, wit, etc. you won't need these precautions, but I don't have anything but my wallet to attract a woman.

One of the most honest posts I've seen here, and happens to be pretty true. Without the cash they are likely to dash.

I wouldn't be friends with the type of Farang who would be married to a Thai that cannot speak very good English.  
 

20 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I don't, I think it is disrespectful but can often be a bit strange.

 

I find it difficult to avoid; usually they will speak to me in Thai first so I can't just ignore them.

 

I try to respond in Thai and then also translate to English for the husband but that can be tiring and also difficult when a conversation is flowing.

9 hours ago, BambinA said:

Hi there, long time no see

Imo, all is depends on the situation.

Indeed, it can be funny when speak the language with your partner. It can be really rough, or can be nasty and even revenge. If you have an argument, probably you want to scream to the other side by using your native language. Finally, I don't think that speaking onther language is unrespectful per se

Hey, how are you? 

 

Sometimes I meet farang new to Thailand and have GFs that don't speak much English and want to speak Thai with me. 

I feel the farang don't like it. 

25 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Hey, how are you? 

 

Sometimes I meet farang new to Thailand and have GFs that don't speak much English and want to speak Thai with me. 

I feel the farang don't like it. 

Totally agree with you. I'm not going to speak silly thailish to appease her boyfriend.

Sometimes I think it's a wee bit disrespectful when foreigners refer to other foreigners as farang. 

It usually is an awkward and sometimes strained interaction if the foreign husband's Thai is limited. Most of the time the wife senses the husband doesn't like it and will either clam up, try to inhibit the conversation by claiming to have great difficulty understanding your Thai, or if they themselves are proficient in English, will cut off your Thai conversation attempts with a rude dismissive wave of their hand before you even get three words out. Out of the husband's presence, however, Thai wives can be curious about your level of fluency once they realize you're a reasonably experienced speaker, usually mainly to assess whether your level of fluency is higher or lower than someone else they know.

 

I once had a very enjoyable conversation in Thai with an English woman in the presence of her Thai husband who spoke no English. On another occasion I jokingly said in Thai to a foreign guy's Thai wife in his presence that he had an evil sounding laugh and asked if his laugh ever scared her mother. This got a laugh out of the wife, but the foreign guy, hearing his wife laugh, and imagining I had said something unkind behind his back, had some kind of anxiety attack, and became outright angry and shockingly verbally abusive. Since then, I have only rarely made efforts to speak Thai to Thai spouses in mixed company situations.

 

If English is at least understood by all, it is common decency to stick to it.

 

I've lived and worked abroad for 30 years and I can't recall a single instant when, in a group, someone has switched to their own language to say or discuss anything.

14 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Scared it could be Bob Smith, who'll nip off with her to Koh Chang while you're taking a nap ????  

 

 

 

I don't mind, if he goes away, Bob's wife is a bit of a goer, and that thing she does with her tongue is fantastic. 

On 2/27/2024 at 12:05 PM, CharlieH said:

I speak whatever is common to those present, I don't segregate or exclude.

 

If she is married to Farang she speaks English, (as an example) so why exclude him, its rude ! 

When my wife speaks English I have to explain/translate what she is trying to say  

5 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

I don't mind, if he goes away, Bob's wife is a bit of a goer, and that thing she does with her tongue is fantastic. 

it’s a bit like the second hand Aston Martin add…

 

…. But in this case I’d very much care who went before me….

 

… I’d be concerned about touching the door handle !!!! 🤣🤣🤣

 

 

On 2/27/2024 at 11:59 AM, BritManToo said:

I don't allow my wife to speak to other foreigners.

And I don't mix with foreigners that drag their wife around with them.

I agree entirely, I did meet with other couples before to only learn they start debating who is getting the best benefits, or talking about private matters of the husbands. Stopped that entirely, since then all problems gone too.

 

Actually foreigners individually no issue, just specifically thai woman with another foreigner.

 

Most of these couples are miserable or jealous all the time anyway, pointless.

22 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Your post raises a number of comments/questions

Does your wife obey your orders not to speak to foreigners?

Do you actually take your wife with you when you go out? and if so how do people know she has not been "dragged about with them"?

I know a  Kiwi here who is like that, if I stop to talk to him his wife stands 10 meters away, very weird, not a peep out of her. control freaks IMO.