Being pressured to pay off wife's mother's large debt.

[NoDisplayName]

23 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

NDN I don't know the figures sorry. I did buy land for her in her name some years ago with a view to build, but that was sold recently to help her repayments. She doesn't have her own home. 

 

"Sorry, hon.  I bought your mum some land a few years ago, and she frittered it away.  Some people just can't be helped.  I've done my part."

[Aust24R]

35 minutes ago, Hummin said:

One tried to make me pay of dept to, I packed my bags and never looked back. One of my best decissions ever. 

 

Now married to a good family. 

Lovely story, well done Hummin

[Aust24R]

10 minutes ago, NoDisplayName said:

 

"Sorry, hon.  I bought your mum some land a few years ago, and she frittered it away.  Some people just can't be helped.  I've done my part."

Funny you should say that NDN, that's exactly what I said to her

[proton]

1 hour ago, Aust24R said:

1 million I believe

 

Stuff that mate, nothing to do with you

[Dolf]

1 minute ago, proton said:

 

Stuff that mate, nothing to do with you

Why is he asking guys on the internet? 

[SAFETY FIRST]

1 hour ago, Aust24R said:

pressure to pay off her mother's historically incurred debts

Looks like you got to help. 

 

What assets has she got? 

Offer to buy land etc., transfer title to your wife, you must be rewarded. 

 

 

[Dolf]

Just now, SAFETY FIRST said:

Looks like you got to help. 

 

What assets has she got? 

Offer to buy land etc., transfer title to your wife, you must be rewarded. 

 

 

Yes he must get something back but in his wife's name not safe either.

 

She probably has no gold left, no car. Maybe family land.

[EVENKEEL]

47 minutes ago, transam said:

Says a single bloke................🤣

Are you saying you can't just walk away clean. Unless there's a kid involved.

 

Problem is some go for marriage extension and don't have funds to start over. Ball and chain.

[Aust24R]

1 hour ago, MangoKorat said:

Why do you think you should do any of that?

 

Short answer to your problem - get out, you're being used.  Don't wait another few years to realise that - cut your losses and run.

 

Seen this many times and almost bought the T shirt myself.  None of those marriages lasted - yours will be no different.

Thank you mate, I appreciate it 

[G_Money]

“Mothers historically incurred debts “

 

Translates to long term chronic gambling addiction.

 

If the OP were to pay off mums debt, chances are high the “debts” will again return.

 

While not a gambler I’m willing to bet on that outcome 

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

when you start dating someone, the first and most important thing to ask is "how much is she going to cost me?"

 

 

Here's an idea for those reading here...

 

When I was getting serious about my then future Thai wife, I made sure we sat down together to discuss our future. I made a proposal to her, and she accepted it, and we've almost never had an argument or dispute about money things in the 10+ years we've been together now.

 

I told her, I'd financially support her and our married life together fully, and whatever money she made from her job was hers to keep and she could spend her earnings on her family/parents as she wished. And in exchange for that, she (the wife) would never ask or expect me to provide any money for her parents, relatives, acquaintances, etc.

 

It's an agreement and solution that's worked out well for both of us thru the years.  And it's been a good incentive for my wife to do what she's done, and that's been to advance to a pretty successful, well-paying business career of her own (with some consulting help from me along the way).
 

 

Edited March 28 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[2ndhomepattaya]

1 hour ago, swerve said:

This is a common Thai tactic.  Choose not to pay.

Absolutely,  otherwise I am certain otehr relatives will have the same issue. But hey, you are a rich farang

[G_Money]

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

when you start dating someone, the first and most important thing to ask is "how much is she going to cost me?"

 

 

Good point!  However I feel that’s the second most important.

 

First one is to find an ORPHAN.

[Ralf001]

pressure to  pay off debts that are not ours.... tell em to sling it.

[Dolf]

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

when you start dating someone, the first and most important thing to ask is "how much is she going to cost me?"

 

 

Well yes. If more than 15,000 baht a month not worth it. Thousands of singles out there.

 

 

[indyo]

if you pay your role there is clear.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Aust24R said:

NDN I don't know the figures sorry. I did buy land for her in her name some years ago with a view to build, but that was sold recently to help her repayments. She doesn't have her own home. 

Just in case nobody mentioned it until now:

 

Many Thai have huge debt which are unbelievable high compared to what any bank would possibly give them.

Many have to pay money to loan sharks with astronomic interest rates. They don't even know how much they have to pay because the loan sharks will never say: now all is paid, thanks.

Many have crazy ideas. Like i.e. you give them money on Friday for a bill which they should pay on Monday. What do they do? Gamble. Like: I can double my money on the weekend. I would be stupid not to do that. And then on Monday there is no money left. This is not unusual.

 

Family members, especially daughters, and especially daughters who work in the night life business, and especially daughters with farang bf/husband are often set tremendously under pressure. Like: If you don't help us then you don't love your parents. We did everything for you, now look at you, .....

 

I never heard about a happy ending of any of those stories.

 

[noobexpat]

22 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Most of us are old and ugly with big ears. 

 

I think ears and nose continue to grow throughout your life.

[noobexpat]

Apparently not lol...

 

 

 

Do your ears and nose get bigger as you age?

 

Not only does cartilage grow, but earlobes also elongate from gravity, which can make ears look even larger. Our ears are 90 percent grown by age six, and our noses are almost fully grown by the time we're teens, but both can change shape and appear to enlarge as we age.

[steevjee]

1 hour ago, riclag said:

Good Idea

X  riddled with potential bad outcome, how would he know if daughter doesnt just sign it back again

[EVENKEEL]

19 minutes ago, noobexpat said:

Apparently not lol...

 

 

 

Do your ears and nose get bigger as you age?

 

Not only does cartilage grow, but earlobes also elongate from gravity, which can make ears look even larger. Our ears are 90 percent grown by age six, and our noses are almost fully grown by the time we're teens, but both can change shape and appear to enlarge as we age.

Some old guys have ginormous ears.

[Denim]

Just tell her you would be willing to pay off her mother's debt because of your love for her ( your wife ).

 

Unfortunately,  the bulk of your money is tied up in investment bonds, the first of which will mature 10 years from now.

 

So tell her to tell her mum to rest assured that as soon as the bonds mature you will pay off her debt. She just needs to be patient and not rack up more debt.

[Dolf]

26 minutes ago, Denim said:

Just tell her you would be willing to pay off her mother's debt because of your love for her ( your wife ).

 

Unfortunately,  the bulk of your money is tied up in investment bonds, the first of which will mature 10 years from now.

 

So tell her to tell her mum to rest assured that as soon as the bonds mature you will pay off her debt. She just needs to be patient and not rack up more debt.

Then in 10 years walk away?

[Liverpool Lou]

3 hours ago, save the frogs said:

if your wife runs a business that fails or any other number of scenarios, it becomes your problem.

marriage is basically joint finances,

That is not accurate.   Any debts incurred by her, or businesses failing that are in her sole name, with him receiving no resultant benefit, do not become his problem legally.   

Edited March 28 by Liverpool Lou

[Liverpool Lou]

2 hours ago, Dolf said:

2 hours ago, transam said:

Well it would seem you have plenty of knowledge about men, I'll give you that........😘

Still stalking. You need help.

Clearly, it's not him that needs help.

[Dolf]

2 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Clearly, it's not him that needs help.

You too.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, Ralf001 said:

pressure to  pay off debts that are not ours.... tell em to sling it.

Hear, hear!

[Keeps]

1 minute ago, Liverpool Lou said:

No one else seems to have wading problems.

Why would I be concerned about others problems in this regard? That is why I said I have the issue, not others.

[Liverpool Lou]

4 minutes ago, Keeps said:

8 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

No one else seems to have wading problems.

Why would I be concerned about others problems in this regard?

Exactly, why are you concerned about other members posts that do not affect you in any way?

[nightfox]

Your not be liable to pay any in laws debts as it's a deal you made with your wife when you married her, your fault. You got to lay down the law and not let them bully and take advantage or look for a new wife. If my Thai wife put a gun in my head to demand these requirements before marriage I would tell her good luck with your next marriage.