Cost of death in a village in Buriram

[Sandboxer]

GFs brother-in-law dropped dead last night. Poor guy was only 35. Super nice the few times I met him, hard working, 2 kids+wife. Family is a typical farming family i.e. they ow a bit of land, a good herd of buffalo, a few rai of rubber trees. So they do ok and live a relatively decent standard of life. 

 

Question - how much ROUGHLY will this whole death process cost? The ceremonial stuff, feeding the villagers (probably about 300 of them) who come to pay respects, temple costs + cremation.

 

Any guesses appreciated.

 

And before the jokers here comment the obvious - no, I'm not contributing any money for this. I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each, so I think I'm off the hook for a while.

 

 

[CharlieKo]

It depends on how many days the mourning process lasts for. Normally it's 3-4 days. Can cost up to 100,000 baht depending on the food provided. But people who come to pay their respects will contribute to the cost so you might get 40-50,000 baht of the cost. Rich people may do 7 days. Temple cost for the cremation can be anything from 60-100,000 baht depending on the temple. 

[proton]

30 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

GFs brother-in-law dropped dead last night. Poor guy was only 35. Super nice the few times I met him, hard working, 2 kids+wife. Family is a typical farming family i.e. they ow a bit of land, a good herd of buffalo, a few rai of rubber trees. So they do ok and live a relatively decent standard of life. 

 

Question - how much ROUGHLY will this whole death process cost? The ceremonial stuff, feeding the villagers (probably about 300 of them) who come to pay respects, temple costs + cremation.

 

Any guesses appreciated.

 

And before the jokers here comment the obvious - no, I'm not contributing any money for this. I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each, so I think I'm off the hook for a while.

 

 

Mrs dad died in Surin Village in 2011, dirt poor but they spent 400k allegedly, depends how much they want to show off and how many to feed. Last funeral I went to in Bkk cost millions of Baht

[Sandboxer]

Thank you gentlemen, that gives me a much better idea of what they're dealing with. The cremation will be on the 3rd day.

 

I haven't been hit up by gf for any contribution but feel somewhat compelled to pitch in even though they don't really need my money (but it's not like they're loaded so I think any extra help is appreciated?). The guy was the first male in the family to really warm up to me once he realized I'm not a douche (well....y'all can debate that later) and I truly liked him.

Edited July 22, 2023 by Sandboxer

[OneMoreFarang]

There are no clear rules.

Some families spend little, some want to have a big and long party. 

IMHO you should contribute, but you don't have to be the big spender.

Sometimes part of the cost is also covered by some kind of death insurance which many Thais seem to have.

[proton]

34 minutes ago, Sandboxer said:

Thank you gentlemen, that gives me a much better idea of what they're dealing with. The cremation will be on the 3rd day.

 

I haven't been hit up by gf for any contribution but feel somewhat compelled to pitch in even though they don't really need my money (but it's not like they're loaded so I think any extra help is appreciated?). The guy was the first male in the family to really warm up to me once he realized I'm not a douche (well....y'all can debate that later) and I truly liked him.

Dont, it will never be enough and they usually have a village funeral insurance fund they pay into

[novacova]

1 hour ago, Sandboxer said:

I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each

Sorry, am I reading this correctly? Or is this a typo?

[sungod]

2 minutes ago, novacova said:

Sorry, am I reading this correctly? Or is this a typo?

I am puzzled too, did they get a house each (the husband and the boyfriend) , or is he insinuating the husband now has a boyfriend?

 

I guess anything goes up in the jungle....I must be living a sheltered life down here in Pattaya. Thought I'd seen it all!

[brianthainess]

1 hour ago, Sandboxer said:

. I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each,

Ok then  how old is your boyfriend? 

[mokwit]

1 hour ago, Sandboxer said:

I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each

Relax, they are her brothers.

[mrwebb8825]

There's a village death fund as mentioned above that every member of the village pays into their whole life that covers the basic expenses. (20-50 baht per month) Donations are collected at the final temple service before escorting the deceased to the furnace. These are in envelopes so there's no monetary marker saying how much is in each 1. The family is responsible for for the after-chamber (the tall shrine-like thing that holds the ashes and a picture - don't recall the Thai name).

Have buried grandma, a nephew and a sister and they all went into the same family shrine.

[connda]

200K THB.

Most villages have a 'death fund' which villagers pay into most of their lives and then they receive about that much for the purposes of offsetting funeral costs.

However.....

Nobody said you have to have a fancy funeral.  If my wife kicks before me, she'll either go to CM University to be a medical student project, or if they refuse the body, my son and I will have her boxed up, have a family only ceremony with chanting monks, then off to the crematorium.  We're not feeding the village.  Same goes for me.
The 200K THB will go to my son

Anyway - approximate cost will be about 200K THB.

[sirineou]

4 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

The guy was the first male in the family to really warm up to me once he realized I'm not a douche (well....y'all can debate that later) and I truly liked him.

I don't get some people.

The guy unexpectedly lost someone close in the family. he is asking for some advice and people are making jokes.

No one loves a joke more than I do but there is a place for it and IMO this is not. 

Sorry for your loss my friend. Hope everything works out well.I know the family must be devastated. 

[bunnydrops]

Depends a lot. Where I am the village does not have a funeral fund. My wife's mother has her own bank account saving for her funeral. She already paid to have her ashes put in the temple wall. My wife's father's ashes are in the "ghost house" on our land, so no payment for "keeping" at the temple. I have heard that the very rich hire professional mourners to sit and cry at the funeral.

[The Fugitive]

5 hours ago, mrwebb8825 said:

There's a village death fund as mentioned above that every member of the village pays into their whole life that covers the basic expenses. (20-50 baht per month) Donations are collected at the final temple service before escorting the deceased to the furnace. These are in envelopes so there's no monetary marker saying how much is in each 1. The family is responsible for for the after-chamber (the tall shrine-like thing that holds the ashes and a picture - don't recall the Thai name).

Have buried grandma, a nephew and a sister and they all went into the same family shrine.

I think they call them 'columns'. We had two deaths (my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law) within a few weeks last year. Mother-in-law was keeping four cremation urns in her house so we bought a column which was installed at our nearest temple and now all six have been placed inside it.

[The Fugitive]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

There are no clear rules.

Some families spend little, some want to have a big and long party. 

IMHO you should contribute, but you don't have to be the big spender.

Sometimes part of the cost is also covered by some kind of death insurance which many Thais seem to have.

Many thanks for mentioning the life insurance! My Mrs took it out upon her mother, her uncle and myself. 20 year term, annual premiums £760. Pay out on death £7,142. I'm aiming to survive the twenty year term, after which you get all your premiums returned plus a bonus of £1,428 totalling £16,628. If you die within the first two years you get nothing. I'll have you know she got a free continental quilt and an umbrella for each policy!  

[The Fugitive]

8 hours ago, Sandboxer said:

GFs brother-in-law dropped dead last night. Poor guy was only 35. Super nice the few times I met him, hard working, 2 kids+wife. Family is a typical farming family i.e. they ow a bit of land, a good herd of buffalo, a few rai of rubber trees. So they do ok and live a relatively decent standard of life. 

 

Question - how much ROUGHLY will this whole death process cost? The ceremonial stuff, feeding the villagers (probably about 300 of them) who come to pay respects, temple costs + cremation.

 

Any guesses appreciated.

 

And before the jokers here comment the obvious - no, I'm not contributing any money for this. I already bought both my gf's husband AND boyfriend a house each, so I think I'm off the hook for a while.

My brother-in-law died last year, total cost £3,500 GBP. Mother-in-law died a few weeks later, total cost £4,800 GBP. My Mrs had taken out life insurance to provide for her Mum. My brother-in-law's wife was unable to find the money so I paid for his.

[scorecard]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

There are no clear rules.

Some families spend little, some want to have a big and long party. 

IMHO you should contribute, but you don't have to be the big spender.

Sometimes part of the cost is also covered by some kind of death insurance which many Thais seem to have.

Often called 'funeral insurance', very common in rural villages. 

[The Fugitive]

17 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Often called 'funeral insurance', very common in rural villages. 

My Mrs had three (now down to two) life insurance policies with; www.ThaiLife.com Policies taken out with a local insurance agent who also collects the monthly premiums.

[Sandboxer]

8 hours ago, novacova said:

Sorry, am I reading this correctly? Or is this a typo?

 

8 hours ago, brianthainess said:

Ok then  how old is your boyfriend? 

I guess I have one of those sense of humors that is not easily understood by everyone.????

 

To everyone who replied with all this seriously valuable info both publicly and via PM, thank you. I now know the amount I feel ok to (again, entirely voluntarily without having been asked for dime) contribute without going into extremes either way (and that's really what it's about in this place sometimes, isn't it,,,)

 

Edited July 22, 2023 by Sandboxer

[Sandboxer]

2 hours ago, The Fugitive said:

We had two deaths (my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law) within a few weeks last year.

Horrible. sincere condolences.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just for clarification: Life Insurance and Death Insurance (or whatever it is called) are two different things.

 

The idea about the death insurance is to pay for the funeral.

The idea about the life insurance is to provide the bereaved with money to continue to live (maybe without the main person who created income in the family). 

[The Fugitive]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Just for clarification: Life Insurance and Death Insurance (or whatever it is called) are two different things.

 

The idea about the death insurance is to pay for the funeral.

The idea about the life insurance is to provide the bereaved with money to continue to live (maybe without the main person who created income in the family). 

Thanks for this. Maybe something lost in translation with me. I've never looked into a 'Funeral Plan' as they seem to be termed in the UK. The three policies my Mrs took out appear to all be the same, with a twenty-year term. Does that mean they can't be funeral plans? Surprisingly, the insurance agent said that my medical history was irrelevant. Or maybe she just said that to sell the policy? My Mrs got paid out without any difficulty when her Mum died.

[prakhonchai nick]

Families generally splash out more for a farang funeral than for a Thai funeral, despite, in most cases, the deceased farang wanting nothing more that a simple cremation.

 

What I have always failed to understand is why is there the necessity to feed the local villagers morning noon and night for the days leading up to the funeral and the day after. Yes, maybe they drop 100bt in an envelope, but in most cases it does not cover the cost of the unnecessary food, which the majority collect in bags and take away 3 times a day.

 

If only I could find a way to prevent all this nonsense when my time comes.

[Ralf001]

How much is it just for the carcass to be torched ?

 

Will instruct the misso no funeral and just toss my ashes on the side of the road on the way home.

 

[prakhonchai nick]

8 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

How much is it just for the carcass to be torched ?

 

Will instruct the misso no funeral and just toss my ashes on the side of the road on the way home.

 

You can tell her what you want 1 million times, but she will do just whatever she and her family want!. Worry later about how she is going to repay the loans she took to pay for it all.

[Ralf001]

2 minutes ago, prakhonchai nick said:

You can tell her what you want 1 million times, but she will do just whatever she and her family want!. Worry later about how she is going to repay the loans she took to pay for it all.

True dat.

 

Her family hates me so will likely insist on the 7 day millions of baht option.

[prakhonchai nick]

5 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

True dat.

 

Her family hates me so will likely insist on the 7 day millions of baht option.

Gotta keep the Monks happy.........They come first!!!!!!!!!!

[OneMoreFarang]

37 minutes ago, prakhonchai nick said:

Families generally splash out more for a farang funeral than for a Thai funeral, despite, in most cases, the deceased farang wanting nothing more that a simple cremation.

 

What I have always failed to understand is why is there the necessity to feed the local villagers morning noon and night for the days leading up to the funeral and the day after. Yes, maybe they drop 100bt in an envelope, but in most cases it does not cover the cost of the unnecessary food, which the majority collect in bags and take away 3 times a day.

 

If only I could find a way to prevent all this nonsense when my time comes.

What do they do in whatever country you come from? I don't think there is any country or religion or even people without religion without any funeral rituals.

It's not about the money. It's about remembering the deceased and maybe to show off what kind of party they can organize or pay for - not just in Thailand.

 

My future funeral director knows already that I want that she plays this:

 

[ChipButty]

1 hour ago, prakhonchai nick said:

Families generally splash out more for a farang funeral than for a Thai funeral, despite, in most cases, the deceased farang wanting nothing more that a simple cremation.

 

What I have always failed to understand is why is there the necessity to feed the local villagers morning noon and night for the days leading up to the funeral and the day after. Yes, maybe they drop 100bt in an envelope, but in most cases it does not cover the cost of the unnecessary food, which the majority collect in bags and take away 3 times a day.

 

If only I could find a way to prevent all this nonsense when my time comes.

I know of one recently and the amount of food was unnecessary in my view, they didn't know what to do with it all my wife took our Burmese maid to help and they gave her that much food to take home she could feed the camp,