Could and would you live where you live without your wife?

[Hummin]

9 hours ago, grain said:

No way, if we had a big row and split up, 30 minutes later I'd have my stuff packed in my car and hit the highway. Living in a little rice paddy village in NE was the last thing I wanted to do, but it slowly happened step by step. 

I thrive among rice fields and Forrest, but without my gf, nope

[vinci]

Quote

If you think 74 is old then that's sad. 

i know it's hard to admit, we all want to be young forever, i get that

[Jotnar]

To the title, Yes, as wife is an added plus, but far from necessary.

 

Live semi rural, so would have to improve my Thai vocabulary a bit more, maybe.  Could easily get by with what little I know.  Not fluent enough to engage in conversation, but enough to shop & order food. 

 

With translation apps (Google Lens) can read just about anything.

[Hummin]

@theoracle

 

Many foreigners in Petchabun, and they have local meetings many places, but I guess you have to search Facebook to find them, or ask those you meet at the shopping malls. Many times heard my local language spoken, or recognized the accent and spoke to a few there.

 

But it takes a bit action from you to get to know somebody who live in your neighborhood.

 

 

[Moti24]

9 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Could and would you live where you live without your wife?

I can't say it would make a lot of difference considering most of her time involves the telephone, sleeping and eating.  However, it would be a lot quieter.

 

So, I suppose the answer is  yes.

[CM Dad]

I fell in love with Thailand when I was stationed here during the wars in Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos.  I was lucky to be stationed in a small NSA security post located next to a typical Thai rural village.  I moved from the modern and very comfortable, self-contained military post to a teakwood house built on stilts with no running water in the village the first week I was there. I truly felt that I was at home.  Once I finished my tour of duty and returned to life in the States, I dreamed of returning some day.  It took me twenty years to get back and now I am very content.  I have not been to my home country since the death of my mother fifteen years ago, and I am quite sure that I will never go back again.  Though I have a Thai family for whom I am very grateful, I would choose to stay where I am even if I were alone.  I speak Thai and spend most of my time with Thai people.  While I know many westerners, I would call only three or four friends.  Unlike many, I did not come here for sex or the party life.  I don't go to bars.  I avoid places where most westerners gather like Bangkok and beach areas.  In short, I am content and I have no desire to leave.  Thailand is not perfect, but then no place is.  However, Thailand has been my home for more than thirty years and will remain my home until I die. 

[Sparktrader]

" If she would die in an accident I would continue to live in the same place and most of my life would continue as usual."

 

sounds like u dont care much

[The Hammer2021]

9 hours ago, JayClay said:

You let it happen!

 

If you don't want to be there; move.

We rarely do things we don't want- if we really didn't want to  do them we wouldn't...

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, Isaan sailor said:

Good question.

When you build a big house in your wife’s village, you come to regard it as your retirement home.  Very comfortable in this house and the neighbors (mostly family) are quite friendly and accepting.  If I lost my wife—I would stay.  Plenty of stunners around,  although would probably spend more time at our small rented beach house.

You recently moved back to the states didn't you?

 

If happen to me, my gf said her family will let me stay as long I want, but can not bring a new lady ????

[Sparktrader]

9 hours ago, grain said:

No way, if we had a big row and split up, 30 minutes later I'd have my stuff packed in my car and hit the highway. Living in a little rice paddy village in NE was the last thing I wanted to do, but it slowly happened step by step. 

Sounds fun

[AgMech Cowboy]

Our son has left the roost and the wife is rarely home, it seems, but she won't consider selling. No, I wouldn't stay here in our 'village' (more of a suburban neighborhood), but I'd look for something with similar amenities.  We have a 'solid' 24 hr security team and the monks, police and/or vendors don't roam our streets.  But, it's not a 'great' place for a lone 69 yr old man. I'd move....

[VocalNeal]

3 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

" If she would die in an accident I would continue to live in the same place and most of my life would continue as usual."

 

sounds like u dont care much

Is there an alternate response that shows caring?

[Skeptic7]

Wow, your hypothetical scenerio is my actual awful, <deleted> reality. My much younger GF of 10 years (whom everyone considered my wife & I her husband) suddenly and unexpectedly died early last year. I was shattered and worthless for months and still suffer almost daily. Still shattered but doing my best to accept it and carry on. Will never get over her death...the loss, the sorrow. It still disables and breaks me down at times and suppose always will.

 

The answer to the OP query is...No. Not at our house. I just couldn't handle it emotionally. We had a house custom built, which she designed, in a beautiful, secluded setting in her home province Kanchanaburi, surrounded by mountains and across from a large lake. I fell in love with it. We had 6 dogs and 4 cats. A Honda motorbike and a Toyota Fortuner. 

 

After her death, I never returned. Never saw my house or pets or car or motorbike again. Too many memories and It would just have been too painful as everything was done with her...and for her/us...and without her all that was lost to me. I gave everything to her mom and stepdad. We also had an apartment in BKK. I ended that too. Moved to Jomtien.

 

 

Normally, I should have predeceased her by a couple decades easily. Life doesn't always play out as planned or by the statistics. I miss her every single day. ????

 

Staying in Thailand...yes...been here a LONG time. Just can't handle it in Kanchanaburi without her. Been making the best I can of it by living in Jomtien the past year. Also traveling often and spending time in Bangkok (where I lived for many years), Udon Thani and especially Chiang Mai. Back up to CM Monday for the third time this year. 

Edited May 7, 2022 by Skeptic7

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, Hummin said:

@theoracle

 

Many foreigners in Petchabun, and they have local meetings many places, but I guess you have to search Facebook to find them, or ask those you meet at the shopping malls. Many times heard my local language spoken, or recognized the accent and spoke to a few there.

 

But it takes a bit action from you to get to know somebody who live in your neighborhood.

Is that good enough?

I regularly see many people who speak "my language" but that is no reason for me to become friends with them or even talk to them. Personally I think it's good if there are thousands of people to choose from who you want to be friends with - and obviously vice versa. I call may 5 or 10 "my friends".

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Is there an alternate response that shows caring?

If my wife died, I could not bear the loss, and would have to move, since living there would remind me of her all the time.?

[Isaan sailor]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You recently moved back to the states didn't you?

 

If happen to me, my gf said her family will let me stay as long I want, but can not bring a new lady ????

I live in Isaan and at the Gulf.  Wife doesn’t want me to find  a replacement wife, either.  But nothing wrong with an occasional gf…

[FolkGuitar]

It would be a far more lonely place without my wife; she is my best friend. But Chiang Mai would still be a good place for me to live, and I wouldn't move anywhere else... certainly not back to the States.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is that good enough?

I regularly see many people who speak "my language" but that is no reason for me to become friends with them or even talk to them. Personally I think it's good if there are thousands of people to choose from who you want to be friends with - and obviously vice versa. I call may 5 or 10 "my friends".

It is a bit different more remote places where there is not many farangs around. Most stop and talk for a bit when meeting at local marked or alike. I mean, it can take weeks without seeing anyone. In Chaiyaphum I do not speak to everyone I see ????

 

However I do not feel lonely, and do not interact much with people unless I know them from before riding together or of other reasons. 

[Tarteso]

I couldn’t leave…life without daily visit of mother in law…it would not make sense… ????

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

" If she would die in an accident I would continue to live in the same place and most of my life would continue as usual."

 

sounds like u dont care much

That's your imagination at work.

 

My point was and is that I wouldn't make my life dependent on my wife and her family.

It seems in this thread are mostly answers from happy guys who can afford to move somewhere else if they want.

But in many other posts I read comments from guys who have to accept all kind of s#$t from their wife and family because they paid for a house which is in her name and they can't afford to go anywhere else.

At least for me that is not the way I want to live.

 

 

[timkeen08]

8 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

Could and would you live where you live without your wife?

 

I did for almost 20 years. People say the place is boring. I like boring.

I'm with you. I've worked and lived in many BIG cities in the US including near Florida beaches, as well as in some other country's BIG cities, army brat. So I'm not impressed with Bangkok, etc... Y'all can have all the beaches and tourists areas. That's one of the reasons I took the SSA early retirement cut and we moved to my Thai wife's home in a village along the Mekong as soon as I was eligible. Her family does not need my money. Not going back to America. Everything is set for me to stay where I am if she should pass before me. I'm 69 and she is 63. Married 10 years, only 4 years in the US. So her Thainess that I love so much wasn't ruined by living in America. It just broadened her view. No children except for my own 2 sons in their early 40's back in America that are waiting for this C19 mess in Thailand to "get over it" to visit us here. (Eagles Pun Intended).  Then and only then will I fly to Bangkok.

[OneMoreFarang]

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If my wife died, I could not bear the loss, and would have to move, since living there would remind me of her all the time.?

Is moving away and trying to not be reminded in any way a better choice?

 

I know it's different but I remember when I split up with my first Thai girlfriend. Many places reminded me of her. At the beginning more and later not so much anymore. And after a while it didn't hurt anymore.

 

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is moving away and trying to not be reminded in any way a better choice?

 

I know it's different but I remember when I split up with my first Thai girlfriend. Many places reminded me of her. At the beginning more and later not so much anymore. And after a while it didn't hurt anymore.

Longest gap I had between one leaving, and a new one moving in was a week.

 

[Sparktrader]

20 minutes ago, Skeptic7 said:

Wow, your hypothetical scenerio is my actual awful, <deleted> reality. My much younger GF of 10 years (whom everyone considered my wife & I her husband) suddenly and unexpectedly died early last year. I was shattered and worthless for months and still suffer almost daily. Still shattered but doing my best to accept it and carry on. Will never get over her death...the loss, the sorrow. It still disables and breaks me down at times and suppose always will.

 

The answer to the OP query is...No. Not at our house. I just couldn't handle it emotionally. We had a house custom built, which she designed, in a beautiful, secluded setting in her home province Kanchanaburi, surrounded by mountains and across from a large lake. I fell in love with it. We had 6 dogs and 4 cats. A Honda motorbike and a Toyota Fortuner. 

 

After her death, I never returned. Never saw my house or pets or car or motorbike again. Too many memories and It would just have been too painful as everything was done with her...and for her/us...and without her all that was lost to me. I gave everything to her mom and stepdad. 

 

Normally, I should have predeceased her by a couple decades easily. Life doesn't always play out as planned or by the statistics. I miss her every single day. ????

 

Staying in Thailand...yes...been here a LONG time. Just can't handle it in Kanchanaburi without her. Been making the best I can of it by living in Jomtien the past year. Also traveling often and spending time in Bangkok (where I lived for many years), Udon Thani and especially Chiang Mai. Back up to CM Monday for the third time this year. 

Sorry to hear. My condolences. Maybe stay in CM.

[Sparktrader]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Longest gap I had between one leaving, and a new one moving in was a week.

 

You the king.

[OneMoreFarang]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Longest gap I had between one leaving, and a new one moving in was a week.

 

Just in case someone asks you. There is a difference between sex and love. Just having a new partner for sex is no replacement for love.

[n00dle]

I do live where i do without a wife.

[Skeptic7]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is moving away and trying to not be reminded in any way a better choice?

 

I know it's different but I remember when I split up with my first Thai girlfriend. Many places reminded me of her. At the beginning more and later not so much anymore. And after a while it didn't hurt anymore.

 

Don't think there's any correct answer, except what works best for the individual...but losing someone to a breakup isn't the same as losing someone that dies. I hate it that all I try to do for the past year is forget about the only person I thought and cared about for 10 years. It's so sad and awful, but it's the easier path for me. She was my everything.

 

Had we split up, I would have moved away too. But would have been able to function/carry on much easier and not be the emotional trainwreck I still am now. It's gotten better, but far from normal. 

[bert bloggs]

My wife is 23 yrs younger than me,we livedin the UK for many years and jave lived here in Pattaya for a long time,,if god forbid she died before me i would not stay,luckily i have somewhereto live in the UK ,however i am sure i will go first ,her family and our son are not short of a bob or two ,but i think she may go back to the UK when i pop my clogs as she has a place to live and work there as well and family.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Just in case someone asks you. There is a difference between sex and love. Just having a new partner for sex is no replacement for love.

1 out of 2 ain't bad!