Being Single VS Marrying a Thai Lady

[Yellowtail]

Mine is 191 which is both an integer, and a prime number. 

[FruitPudding]

99.999999999% of them are only good for a w@nk.

 

 

Edited April 15 by FruitPudding

[JayClay]

On 7/13/2023 at 9:24 PM, GinBoy2 said:

The other thing to consider.

 

Many a married man, or woman can pretend to be single when it suits them!

 

The reverse is also true.

[sipi]

Been married to a Thai for 20 years, we only speak when necessary.

The other farang cow I was with for 12 years never shut up.

[paddypower]

 

2 hours ago, sipi said:

Been married to a Thai for 20 years, we only speak when necessary.

The other farang cow I was with for 12 years never shut up.

that explains why there are so many happy married men I've  met, who have never bothered to learn any Thai.  😉

[paddypower]

On 7/3/2023 at 11:41 AM, Danderman123 said:

Gentlemen,

 

I am only talking about ladies with no common interests with their Farang, and so, little communication.

 

My point is that its possible to have communication with a bargirl, if you talk about her interests - which center on bars and bargirls. Stray from that, and she is ready to sleep.

 

Which means, once removed from the bar scene, things get quiet quickly.

and sleep is the last thing on your mind, right? there was a great post a few years back from a fella who said he used  to get the most amazing massages from this wonderful lady. Then he married her. That was the last time he ever got a massage from her.

[paddypower]

On 7/3/2023 at 10:02 AM, Danderman123 said:

 

 

Yeah, this is a new take on an old subject.

 

Its obvious from this forum that marrying a Thai lady is fraught with perils, from her going crazy after marriage, financial needs, family demands, etc.

 

But one issue is common among many failed marriages - lack of interest between husband and wife, ie nothing to talk about. You see hints of this in bars where a Farang will buy a drink for a lady and they just sit there silently, until the Farang sees another Farang and they talk about Farang stuff while the lady is ignored.

 

On the other hand, I know a lot of bargirls here in Pattaya, and can talk about the one thing the ladies like to talk about - other bargirls. Who broke up with their Thai boyfriend, who is marrying a customer, who is borrowing money from everyone, lots to talk about.

 

But, take the same lady out of her bar environment, and there is nothing to talk about.

You're right. Also, having been married for a long time, we both notice that some western couples, out socializing (especially middle aged, so with no babies to distract them) who have the same problem. Sit there silently, b/c they have nothing to talk about any more. Sad. even worse, (imo) are the expat/Thai couples who sit in a cafe/whatever and the wife just obsesses herself with the photos in her mobile. I'd be up on a murder charge, likely. (later, of course) 🙂
🙂 

[BangkokReady]

2 hours ago, sipi said:

Been married to a Thai for 20 years, we only speak when necessary.

The other farang cow I was with for 12 years never shut up.

 

 

[BangkokReady]

8 minutes ago, paddypower said:

You're right. Also, having been married for a long time, we both notice that some western couples, out socializing (especially middle aged, so with no babies to distract them) who have the same problem. Sit there silently, b/c they have nothing to talk about any more. Sad. even worse, (imo) are the expat/Thai couples who sit in a cafe/whatever and the wife just obsesses herself with the photos in her mobile. I'd be up on a murder charge, likely. (later, of course) 🙂
🙂 

 

What's your secret?

[paddypower]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

 

What's your secret?

Fear.........fear of getting old alone. 🙂 I used to do weddings, celebrants vows the lot. favourite bit of advice was - 'it's not choosing the right partner, it's being the right partner'. that works for us, for 51 years. but don't forget - fear.

[billd766]

19 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

99.999999999% of them are only good for a w@nk.

 

 

More BS.

[Henryford]

On 7/3/2023 at 11:32 AM, bignok said:

Date a normal gf

 

When you are old, fat, poor and don't speak thai how many "normal" gfs would be interested?

[paddypower]

5 minutes ago, Henryford said:

 

When you are old, fat, poor and don't speak thai how many "normal" gfs would be interested?

old is a state of mind. one my buddies (who retired here 3 years ago at the age of 72), keeps fit, (despite a lot of back problems); speaks no Thai but seems to have a very successful social (short time) life. no bars.

[NoshowJones]

On 7/3/2023 at 10:23 AM, Dmaxdan said:

You must bear in mind that on this forum we only here about Thai/Farang marriages that break down and turn volatile.

 

However, we never hear about "were did it all go right marriages" which statistically far outweigh those that go pear shaped.

 

 

You are not going to find a Thai wife with a lot in common with yourself. The cultures are far too different. I am an ex professional musician. My wife is a College/ University graduate, and never even listens to music, when I let her listen to a CD of one of the bands I played with she just laughed, we have very little in common, but have had a very successful life together, the first 5 years as BF/GF and then 13 years married.

We do go out to the city from time to time, she will hold my hand when we walk together and in front of her family, but if I try to kiss her near an open door or a window she will start shouting "people see".

[KhunLA]

2 hours ago, NoshowJones said:

You are not going to find a Thai wife with a lot in common with yourself. The cultures are far too different. I am an ex professional musician. My wife is a College/ University graduate, and never even listens to music, when I let her listen to a CD of one of the bands I played with she just laughed, we have very little in common, but have had a very successful life together, the first 5 years as BF/GF and then 13 years married.

We do go out to the city from time to time, she will hold my hand when we walk together and in front of her family, but if I try to kiss her near an open door or a window she will start shouting "people see".

Not sure about that, as wife and myself have a lot in common.   Different tastes in some things.  She's back to watching Thai/Asian TV/movies, though may have just got bored with the crap Hollywood is putting out, and understandable.   Took a break from Asian stuff for about 10 years.

 

Living philosophy is about the same, enjoy being home, and O&A, and enjoy the journeys as much or more than the destinations.  Like being thrifty, but wasting money when the mood hits.

 

Both prefer doing everything ourselves, to get it right, and being independent of others, people or business.  If we can't do it, we'll learn how to, then do it.

 

Maybe that's why it's lasted 18+ yrs ... 

[GammaGlobulin]

On 7/3/2023 at 10:45 AM, liddelljohn said:

All humans are potentially toxic , male or female ,, i starts with parents , then teachers , then bosses, fellow workers, friends, lovers, wives , your kids ,,

education makes little difference , neither does race  ,  

 

Best to be a castle to yourself and be careful who you let through the gates

 

I'm a Castle..

I'm a Castle...

Take this Stranger....

From my House.

 

Grand Funk Railroad Lyrics......

 

In fact, I agree with Mister John's comment...

1000 Percent.

I live my life, the way I want to...and,

Just like this.

 

 

You Gotta BLAST it...

To appreciate it.

 

Amazing tune, in fact...

Very popular on The Main Line, one great summer...

 

 

Edited April 16 by GammaGlobulin

[Walker88]

On 7/14/2023 at 2:53 AM, Danderman123 said:

Mine used to be higher, but has dropped considerably after reading this topic.

Two things to note in this long thread....

 

One is that, since the advent of the internet, most people's IQ has jumped 50 points. This seems to be due to the ubiquitous nature of self-directed IQ tests available online with scoring via the honesty method.

 

Personally, I put more faith in expert-administered tests in a controlled environment, which are somewhat rare. I guess I'm particular in that way, or just a Luddite who hasn't completely adopted "online lying learning".

 

My second point---and I state this knowing you tried to make a distinction between bargirls and non-bargirls---is that I am not really sure there is much of a difference. From my admittedly limited experience after a decade or two visiting and now living in Thailand, I have not developed much confidence in the Thai education system, even if someone took it all the way through university. While I am sure there are Thai women out there with an excellent degree of general knowledge and a keen intellect, I cannot help but think they are either all rare as unicorns or else the more savvy members of this Forum have already scoffed them all up. They had to use those genius IQs for something.

 

Having lived in many countries, I know that certain cultural beliefs and idiosyncrasies get inculcated into citizens, and some are too difficult to bridge for folks from other cultures and societies. As a non-Thai example, even if a woman was in my university classes, if she believes a woman must dress like a giant eggplant, because some deity demands it, I doubt we'd have much in common to cover years of marital conversation. An Ayaan Hirsi Ali would be okay, but she is not common. Rula Jebreal even better. I feel similarly about beliefs of the predominant Thai faith, especially how it is practiced at the retail level. Belief systems can rarely be hidden or sublimated, so they will arise over the course of a sustained relationship like marriage. If I had to listen, over time, to such silliness, I would quickly become a fan of TikTok videos of people doing cute dances, and immerse myself in hours of that banality, rather than listen to my partner spouting her 'spiritual knowledge'. No thanks.

 

I can get along and enjoy many Thai women over limited periods of time, but there always comes a point when topics of mutual interest are exhausted, and the silence ensues. I am sure I would become just as much of a bore to them, as what holds their interest and what they believe is alien to me. For those Western men who can do it, good for them.

[GammaGlobulin]

On 7/16/2023 at 8:47 AM, Yellowtail said:

Mine is 191 which is both an integer, and a prime number. 

 

So is 7.

 

The number 7 is both an integer and prime.

 

However, an IQ of 7 is not considered to be Lucky.

 

 

[GammaGlobulin]

14 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Two things to note in this long thread....

 

One is that, since the advent of the internet, most people's IQ has jumped 50 points. This seems to be due to the ubiquitous nature of self-directed IQ tests available online with scoring via the honesty method.

 

The Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS)  is way too expensive for most here to easily afford.

It cannot be self-administered.

If you try to lie on the WAIS, then this type of behavior is self-defeating.

 

 

[simon43]

46 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Two things to note in this long thread....

 

One is that, since the advent of the internet, most people's IQ has jumped 50 points. This seems to be due to the ubiquitous nature of self-directed IQ tests available online with scoring via the honesty method.

...

 

I would day that most people's claimed IQ has jumped by 100 points!  According to Dr Google, Albert Einstein had an IQ of about 160, Isaac Newton had an IQ of between 170-190.  So it seems that some of our forum members are very, very clever indeed.....

[still kicking]

On 7/3/2023 at 11:07 AM, marin said:

 

Some of us did not marry bargirls. I have never spoken to my wife about this and we have never been in a bar like you are talking about. 

Ditto.

[Confuscious]

First, it is a misconception that when someone is alone he/she is lonely.

Anyone can be alone without being lonely at all.
Many people nowadays made the choice to live alone to protect themselves from all the pitfals that have been created trough marriage/living together.
Specially for the man in a divorce.

And they are happy with their life.

Second, until 2018, I could meet a complete stranger and talk the whole day about anything.
When sitting at the local restaurant, people came to sit at my table to have a conversation with me as they knew that I could have a conversation about everything.
We had always fun at the meetings.
But after November 2018, something broke inside, and I could hardly have a sensible conversation.
Many times, I was sitting at my table without speaking a word to anybody.
Only a few (good) friends, who knew what I had been trough, understood my feelings and could have a conversation with me .
Avoiding at all costs sensible subjects.
Since 2018, I meet a few ladies (not barladies) and we tried to have a relation.

But I was unable to give and live in happiness.
Now, 6 years later, I came to peace with myself and I know that I am not fit for a relation anymore.
I am alone, but not lonely.
Many times, I travel to the beach or to some festivity and I enjoy the moment.
I have a few friends and I know a few people who are always friendly to me and are happy when they see me and have a short conversation with me.
But a relationship is not for me.

[paddypower]

15 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

I'm a Castle..

I'm a Castle...

Take this Stranger....

From my House.

 

Grand Funk Railroad Lyrics......

 

In fact, I agree with Mister John's comment...

1000 Percent.

I live my life, the way I want to...and,

Just like this.

 

 

You Gotta BLAST it...

To appreciate it.

 

Amazing tune, in fact...

Very popular on The Main Line, one great summer...

 

 

absolutely...Music was meant to be played VERY LOUD. and I don't mean most of today's divas and pretty boys, ..that.'s music??

[paddypower]

i understand  it's common for many Thai wives to only go to bed at night, clothed. I'm a committed nudie, so for me, what's the point? Although I do understand the socio-cultural differences. I always find it odd that when you look at ''traditional'' post cards, images on monuments and so on - Thai women had no trouble baring it all  to the wind, in the old days.

[paddypower]

On 4/16/2024 at 4:15 PM, Confuscious said:

First, it is a misconception that when someone is alone he/she is lonely.

Anyone can be alone without being lonely at all.
Many people nowadays made the choice to live alone to protect themselves from all the pitfals that have been created trough marriage/living together.
Specially for the man in a divorce.

And they are happy with their life.

Second, until 2018, I could meet a complete stranger and talk the whole day about anything.
When sitting at the local restaurant, people came to sit at my table to have a conversation with me as they knew that I could have a conversation about everything.
We had always fun at the meetings.
But after November 2018, something broke inside, and I could hardly have a sensible conversation.
Many times, I was sitting at my table without speaking a word to anybody.
Only a few (good) friends, who knew what I had been trough, understood my feelings and could have a conversation with me .
Avoiding at all costs sensible subjects.
Since 2018, I meet a few ladies (not barladies) and we tried to have a relation.

But I was unable to give and live in happiness.
Now, 6 years later, I came to peace with myself and I know that I am not fit for a relation anymore.
I am alone, but not lonely.
Many times, I travel to the beach or to some festivity and I enjoy the moment.
I have a few friends and I know a few people who are always friendly to me and are happy when they see me and have a short conversation with me.
But a relationship is not for me.

sounds like you might have had a mid-life crisis? (I've had at least 3 (starting at 40). Or depression (ditto for me since I had a mental breakdown at 52 from overwork). Good to see you have found your true self. very few people are that lucky.

[BritManToo]

On 4/16/2024 at 2:53 PM, Walker88 said:

I can get along and enjoy many Thai women over limited periods of time, but there always comes a point when topics of mutual interest are exhausted, and the silence ensues. I am sure I would become just as much of a bore to them, as what holds their interest and what they believe is alien to me. For those Western men who can do it, good for them.

Men are for conversation, women are for sex.

If you confuse their uses it won't work.

(Saying that, I've not tried sex with a man, so I may be partially wrong)

[BritManToo]

On 4/16/2024 at 1:17 PM, KhunLA said:

Both prefer doing everything ourselves, to get it right, and being independent of others, people or business.  If we can't do it, we'll learn how to, then do it.

 

Maybe that's why it's lasted 18+ yrs ... 

Who financed everything?

No need to answer, we already know!

[Danderman123]

1 hour ago, paddypower said:

i understand  it's common for many Thai wives to only go to bed at night, clothed. I'm a committed nudie, so for me, what's the point? Although I do understand the socio-cultural differences. I always find it odd that when you look at ''traditional'' post cards, images on monuments and so on - Thai women had no trouble baring it all  to the wind, in the old days.

The influence of the British Empire on Siam was pernicious.

Edited April 18 by Danderman123

[Confuscious]

1 hour ago, paddypower said:

sounds like you might have had a mid-life crisis? (I've had at least 3 (starting at 40). Or depression (ditto for me since I had a mental breakdown at 52 from overwork). Good to see you have found your true self. very few people are that lucky.

Not a mid-life crisis.

Read the whole story here:

www.child-abduction.net

 

[KhunLA]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Who financed everything?

No need to answer, we already know!

Joint collaboration, since I can't buy RE, or research the Thai sites, bank sites where she found present land house is on (@ bank site), for better value.  Buying for ฿76k, with lot of same size, 4 lots down, sold for ฿460k. Along with finding land for 2nd house, on Thai site.

 

And she does almost all the manual labor.   She built our greenhouse, every aspect of it, welding, roofing, fencing.  Negotiated the ฿1.1M price for present house, and play liaison with builder for 2nd house, to make sure things done correctly.  Along with land department getting 6 rai chop to 2 rai + four 1 rai lots.

 

She redid the plumbing of present house, as they sucked at it. 

 

Without her, I would not have got the price for the first house, that we did, and at best broke even, instead of 50% profit, as she did a lot of the work prepping to sell.  She has earned her way, all the way, in our relationship. along with being mother to my village orphan as if her own.   PRICELESS stuff.

 

Without her, after that sold, 1st house, I would have rented.   Without her, we couldn't have bought the 6 rai, and built the 2nd house, sold that, and the other 4 rai separately, that returned all the cost of the land & 2nd house build, along with profits paying for the 3rd house, w/solar & EV.

 

Literally saving myself about about ฿3.2M in rent alone, over 18 years, for comparable properties to live in @ ฿15k a month, if I rented.  That's quite the contribution without having a salaried job.

 

She was a computer graphic designer, and I asked her to quit working after we met.   She was on a 'relationship break' then divorced her husband when I met her while working at Sis's night market restaurant.

 

It's not always about how much each puts into a relationship financially  That's why wives get 50% of all at divorce, because they probably earned it.   Especially if they had to put up with some of the sh!t I've seen some of these A-hole subjected them to.   You can't put a price an that BS.

 

So reality, she financed most everything, after I gave her access to the mere 1.4M to work with, what the first house sold for, that only cost ฿800k.   She provided a very nice ROI.   Lived about 3M rent free over 18 yrs, and have about ฿4M+ in assets now.

 

Saving me at least ฿4M out of pocket, along with future rent of ฿15k a month, if not having present house.

 

She's PRICELESS in this relationship, and it's nice having an intellectual equal to talk to and be with 24/7.   We're quite like minded in other aspects of our life 😉😉

 

There's a reason it lasted 18+ years ... we treat each other as equals.

 

Edited April 18 by KhunLA