Marrying a 17 year old Thai girl in the village

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, Ralf001 said:

What is a pukan ceremony ?

Few people in the villages up north are formally married at the amphur. Mostly they have a "home made" wedding ceremony in the village with a few monks and a drove of balloon chasers that show up for a free meal and some loa khao.  This home made ceremony is refered to as pukan.  

[Hummin]

25 minutes ago, MrJ2U said:

Not really.

 

I live in Sakon Nakhon.  There's very little money in rice or any agriculture.

There's 7/11's,Big C, gas stations.

 

Teachers make about 15,000 baht. 

 

I don't want to argue perhaps in your area of Issan there's a factory or something. 

 

Up here the smarter young folk head to the cities for work.

 

It's mostly a dead end around Issan. 

Well in comparison with our wealth and expectations, it is not much. But we as a family living in Isan, 4 adults, one teenager and 6 animals have a monthly living budget included some western food from makro 30 000,- baht. Her parents do not live with us, but we pay them 10 000 a month to work for us and take care of the farm while we are not there. The teenager girl getting 500 baht a week in school and pocket money. 
 

That do not include our travelling, restaurants, insurance and other luxery items. 
 

We do not live poor either, just saying. 

[MrJ2U]

1 minute ago, Smithson said:

What about building? Labor costs have gone up considerably in the last 10 years. Builders can make good money, but it takes planning and discipline. Money made needs to go back into the business.

Workers still make 200 baht while the family that owns the contractor makes a mint.

 

Issan not really huge a expanding prosperous area with skyscrapers and large complexes even for contractors.  They usually depend on government buildings and highways.  When they widened our road they hired locals at 250 baht a day.  The Contractors rented one of our houses for the Supervisors.  They ended up skipping out on rent and the electric bill.

 

There no incentive to pay people a living wage in Issan.  They'll take 200 baht without a complaint. 

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, VinnieK said:

No way a 17 yr old will marry a broke 58 yr old.

I refuse to comment on all other issues arising from it.

Not gonna happen.

 

Oh it's happening all right.  I am surprised how shocked you are.  Have you not yet visited Thailand?

[it is what it is]

 

the girl is very attractive, apparently. well attractiveness, going by the thai women most foreigners are involved/end up with, is very subjective.

 

she is young, probably naive, inexperienced in the ways of the world, impressionable, may not have many options in life, may see that getting away from mum and dad will be an exciting new life... sadly i don't think this will end well.

 

she needs some mates to give her a good talking to.

[MrJ2U]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Well in comparison with our wealth and expectations, it is not much. But we as a family living in Isan, 4 adults, one teenager and 6 animals have a monthly living budget included some western food from makro 30 000,- baht. Her parents do not live with us, but we pay them 10 000 a month to work for us and take care of the farm while we are not there. The teenager girl getting 500 baht a week in school and pocket money. 
 

That do not include our travelling, restaurants, insurance and other luxery items. 
 

We do not live poor either, just saying. 

We're totally comparable.

 

I like Issan but I personally miss some falang friends, beaches, food choices.

 

My wife and I have come to the conclusion that for our kids and ourselves we need to move on to a city.

 

We're looking into moving to Hua Hin.  We can come back to this place to visit her family (or my wife can).

 

As I'm writing this our electricity is out once again.  Infrastructure another thing lacking in our area.  It's frustrating. 

 

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, kingstonkid said:

What are her prospects living in the village?  NONE really

As to him being wealthy sure he is.  He has a great bank that he can make withdrawals whenever he wants.

His sisters

 

For the girl's sake, I think the family needs to close the bank.  Then again you get a disgruntled brother who will make life miserable for mom and dad.

 

We don't know what the other guys are like but obviously, they have not made the same impression.

 

I would suggest that the GF and sisters get together with her and have a talk.

 

Does the family want to support another family?

 

 

He is not that big of a sponge to be honest.  Sure he lives in the family home, but then that relieves both my GF and her older sister (working in Korea) from doing so (that is the norm in Isaan one of the daughters will stay with mom and pop to take care).  Mum and Dad are getting on as well.  But I already pointed out to the GF that at 17 she will want to have kids and the money for them will have to come from somewhere.  Anyway, any future financial demands will not be met by my GF, of that I 100 percent sure.  He has never been married or had kids so I am actually a bit worried that she will do the runner once the sinsot is paid up and break the brothers heart.  That happens a bit up north also.

[Lacessit]

A 17 yo would be too demanding on many fronts for me.

Ten years on, the brother is 68, and she is 27. I guess he'll be wearing horns by then.

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

No legal or moral issues here. Just common sense issues. Why on earth would anyone want to marry a 17 year old? Sure she likely has a great body. At least until the first kid arrives. But, what else? Anything to relate to? I totally understand getting with a younger woman. As long as there is some common ground. But, I think I suffer from the disease of CSR (common sense and reason). 

 

This sounds like a trophy thing. 

Definitely not trophy wife.  Brother is an OK guy.  Just a regular Somchai.  He has always been by himself, never married, no kids.  As I have already posted I am a little concerned that she will take off after sinsot has been paid and break dear brothers heart in the process.  If she was a trophy her parents would be requesting big $ sinsot.  But they have already indicated a small token amount will be sufficient because the daughter says she is happy to stay with the brother because he has his fishing business.

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

There is plenty of options to make a good living in Isan if you have the guts to do something, and make a plan for future. It is a cultural thing that weighs them down, but many do make a good living still. 

I have to disagree here.  My GFs family are all good people.  No hopeless drunks or drug addicts and all very hard working.  They have all tried working in the Chonburi factory jobs but it is just not enough money to save anthing for the future.  Out of 8 kids all of them except for my GF and the brother who is about to get married are currently overseas working.  Some on actual contracts with real visas and other working as little ghosts.

[Tropposurfer]

Despite any internal impetus I might feel in a similar situation the adages of; Keep my mouth shut, and hide any sense of judgement ands or opinions I might have on such a matter.

[Adumbration]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Her parents aren't farmers or counting on her and her new husband to take over the family farm when they're too old. If they were, his age would be a much more serious issue. Would be curious to know how far she got in school. Girl sounds more than a little dingy. Story sounds somewhat concocted, not true to village life. Wouldn't be sending money to help finance the wedding.

Absolutely true story...What do you think is concocted, and why?

[Chongalulu]

3 hours ago, JohnOFphon said:

Back when I was teaching English in NE... I think it was a school in Ban Phai. 

I had one 17 year old girl student that like to practice her English with me.

I thought it was good fun until the last week of school. Just before she would of turned 18.,,she invited me to her home.....to meet her parents. 

I told her I didn't have time as I needed to prepare for moving the day the school closed. 

She looked at me with big sad eyes and told me we couldn't get married unless I met her folks.

I was out of town 15 minutes after checking out at the school.

The most disturbing aspect is teaching English while writing "would of" ! Worse than underage sex in my book ! ???? 

[ed strong]

How gross, everyone saying there is no moral issues, yes it is the north of Thailand, i appreciate that but still, a 17 yr old being married to 58 year old loser with no money to his name is a bit strange. 

 

If the brother is phoning up her sister / your gf for 200 bht for bqq pork how on earth is he going to arrange sin sot and money for them all.

 

 

 

 

[Adumbration]

1 hour ago, Smithson said:

How much are the boats each?

He paid about 7 or 8 thousand each for them.  They are not big, they are like a narrow timber canal boat if you know what I mean.

[CanadaSam]

Can I get an invitation?

[Mac Mickmanus]

4 hours ago, ezzra said:

Rural Thai sex scene are like Sodom and Gomora, everybody boinking everyone regardless of age or relation,, and thinking of marrying a pretty 17 years old only makes me salivating profusely i'm ashamed to admit......

What is the appeal of marrying a 17 year old ?

[martin81]

I married my thai wife of many years when she on paper were 17 and 10 months old and I was 23. The parents signed for it at amphoe office and no problems.

 

Because of error in her papers she was actually 18 but 17 was her official age.

 

That is perfectly legal in Thailand with parents consent.

[blackcab]

Moved to the Community Pub where everyone can enjoy this topic along with a refreshing beverage.

[GinBoy2]

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Age of consent in Thailand is 15.

So no legal or moral issues.

Well maybe no legal issues, the morality of it, I'd question that!

[NativeBob]

14 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

What is the appeal of marrying a 17 year old ?

Don't want to sound nasty but I think I can explain: the young and inexperienced one is almost like a blank sheet of paper - you can teach her whatever you fancy, program to be your ***-doll, convince her that your freakiest perverted fantasies are just normal, everybody do that and so and so on. 

You can't do it with 25+ and obviously that's the main reason.

PS: Meanwhile older women got similar approach to young boys, but that disgusting as well, but often they pay well. 

[flexomike]

5 hours ago, bob smith said:

you are not the only one bro.. just imagining her shape is enough to send me into a fenzy. 

I think if the wind blows you are sent into a frenzy

 

[couchpotato]

I don't see the relevance of the OP's post.

Why should we be interested (or even make comments) on a Thai guy marrying a Thai girl, regardless of age. Its a Thai marriage in some village in the middle of nowhere, and there is already 3 pages of comments and advice. IMHO. 

[Mac Mickmanus]

3 minutes ago, NativeBob said:

Don't want to sound nasty but I think I can explain: the young and inexperienced one is almost like a blank sheet of paper - you can teach her whatever you fancy, program to be your ***-doll, convince her that your freakiest perverted fantasies are just normal, everybody do that and so and so on. 

You can't do it with 25+ and obviously that's the main reason.

PS: Meanwhile older women got similar approach to young boys, but that disgusting as well, but often they pay well. 

And don't forget the icing on the cake .

You would likely to die within 15 years and leave her as a 32 year old and single and her best years behind her . 

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 hours ago, bob smith said:

you are not the only one bro.. just imagining her shape is enough to send me into a fenzy. 

Many older Thai ladies have the body shape of teenagers , not sure why a teenager would get you so aroused .

   Middle aged Thai ladies are often more petite than todays teenagers 

[MrJ2U]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

No legal or moral issues here. Just common sense issues. Why on earth would anyone want to marry a 17 year old? Sure she likely has a great body. At least until the first kid arrives. But, what else? Anything to relate to? I totally understand getting with a younger woman. As long as there is some common ground. But, I think I suffer from the disease of CSR (common sense and reason). 

 

This sounds like a trophy thing. 

The girl most likely has an IQ a bit higher than the man boy.

 

Issan education.  Nothing to write home about. 

[NativeBob]

3 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

And don't forget the icing on the cake .

You would likely to die within 15 years and leave her as a 32 year old and single and her best years behind her . 

Exactry!

70+ years old villager - what a great story: "The boatman's call"

My guess is she will dump him within a year and either go complete banana at her mooban or join working sisters in tourist areas.

But one thing you're absolutely right - her future is very bleak. 

[Gecko123]

1 hour ago, Adumbration said:

Absolutely true story...What do you think is concocted, and why?

Improbabie that:

 

1) 17 y/o girl would by-pass other younger suitors in favor of 58 y/o man

2) girl would not be under social pressure from extended family, friends in village to break off age-inappropriate relationship.

3) 17 y/o girl would perceive a 58 year old guy catching fish as providing financial security

4) It's also improbable in my opinion that a typical 48 year old village guy would actually want to marry such a young girl. Have sex with her? Sure, of course. But a lot of guys would be leary of the headaches and heartaches such a relationship would likely bring as well.

 

This is all taking place up north while you're down south, right? So, you're hearing all this through wife and other family members. If he's telling everybody he's going to marry the girl and soliciting money for help paying for the wedding, can you really be sure the wedding's actually going to take place? I wasn't suggesting you concocted the story. I was more suggesting that the marriage might be a ruse to get family members to shell out money for a wedding that might never happen.

 

There's a woman who was in maybe 6th grade 20 years ago in my village. I happened to have briefly taught her. She was developmentally mentally slow, but functional. She ended up getting pregnant with a guy who lived in the same cluster of houses, and I suspect he was related to her. That's the only instance of a very young girl marrying someone 30 years her senior I've seen in the time I've been living in rural Thailand.

 

In my opinion, these "keep hope alive" threads about older men marrying teenage brides may fuel relatively harmless lecherous fantasies but they're simply not grounded in reality. As a rule, teenage girls are not marrying 50 year old men in rural Thailand. If you scour the countryside looking for exceptions ,can you find them? Yeah, I suppose, if you make it your life's work. The only explanation I can come up with for this girl's behavior is some type of mental or psychological impairment.

[StevieAus]

Unless they go to the District Office and follow the procedure there. they are not legally married. 

Whatever ceremony they carry out in the village means nothing. 

[redwood1]

Well if she dumps the 58 year old, I know a 61 year old in Pattaya that maybe just what she is looking for....