Being Single VS Marrying a Thai Lady

[Dickie Dee]

20 hours ago, JayClay said:

Get married or stay single.... like that's the only two options??

Friends with Bedifits? 

[Ralf001]

6 minutes ago, LikeItHot said:

 these bags of brown meat around everywhere I go.

Ive not cut one up myself so I will take your word for it but Ive always thought human meat was more red like beef.

[Expat68]

19 hours ago, bignok said:

Date a normal gf

My girlfriend is not interested in showing me off to her family/her friends. We do not double date keep ourselves to ourselves

[EVENKEEL]

21 minutes ago, LikeItHot said:

I see guys walking into supermarkets etc with their wives and the only way to know they are a couple is they walk in fairly close proximity to each other in the same direction.  No touching. No talking. No smiling.  It's like these guys threw a net over a woman and then slowly trained it to follow them around.  I'd rather be alone.  I would rather talk to myself and make love to my fist than drag one of these bags of brown meat around everywhere I go.

Who the hell wants to stand around while the ole lady ponders which bag of rice or shampoo is best? For fork's sake, we use 2 baskets. One for her and one for me and the kid at Makro. 

 

 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

39 minutes ago, LikeItHot said:

I see guys walking into supermarkets etc with their wives and the only way to know they are a couple is they walk in fairly close proximity to each other in the same direction.  No touching. No talking. No smiling. 

Would point out touching in public is frowned on by Thai society.

[kennw]

20 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Or date & marry someone of similar socio-economic-edicational status and have a perfectly engaging and normal life... 

 

... I see such relationships all over town....   had a conversation with one of my friends about the subject recently. 

A few guys rocking up to a football tournament with their 'others' (some significant, some not !)

... its instantly recognisable who the respectable Wives are and who the 'ex-BG's' are....    

 

The educational and socio-economic status is easily identifiable by the way the ladies carry themselves, the confidence with whom they converse and interact...  It's easy to tell with the respect other Thai's treat them and even the newbies (foreigners) who do not know, somehow know on instinct that they are talking to a 'different class' of person than they'd see in the pub or bar.

 

Don't like the term 'socio-economic-educational'.... It is what it is, its identifiable, obvious to see.... and these are the couples I see around having long term mutually respectful caring interactions...  

 

In other terms... something very normal.....    Step outside those 'boundaries' and while there may also be many successful relationships, there is also likely to be stress as 'mutual respect' through 'incomplete conversation and communication' starts to slide. 

 

... Just an opinion and the caveat to that is that every relationship is different and can only be evaluated on is own individual merits... however, when attempting to generalise, the above is what I see..... 

Another way is to look at it is how non-bar ladies engage with ex bar girls away from the bar environment, in mixed company.  Long termers will have seen this.

[1FinickyOne]

21 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Its obvious from this forum that marrying a Thai lady is fraught with perils, from her going crazy after marriage, financial needs, family demands, etc.

I never knew that my wife in USA was Thai... All this time I thought she was Engiish/Irish heritage... 

[Polaky]

Problem with a lot of guys is they cannot get a lady back in their own country, so they come over here and as soon as one smiles at them they instantly fall in love, from there on it is all downhill.

[NORDO]

"DONT DO IT"

 

 

[Walker88]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I understand your words. But...

At least for me, "very intelligent" means MENSA IQ level like the following picture of that organization. Do you spot any "very attractive women"?

 

 

I guess what you write about clothes and my limited view on what I find attractive is also true.

Maybe it's just my personal taste.

 

 

 

 

I was lucky enough to attend the finest schools in the US. The women were all quite intelligent, most were HS Valedictorians/Salutatorians. As an undergrad in a co-ed dorm, I was able to do what undergrads in co-ed dorms are wont to do, and many of the women were lovely.

 

In grad school, the average IQ was even higher, and though there were a few who would fit in your Mensa photo (one was a billionaire via inheritance, and single at the time, which had some men thinking better her than Goldman Sachs after graduation), there were more than a few who got a man's juices flowing.

 

Maybe the correlation between brains and beauty is weak, but from my university and work experience, it is definitely not negative.

 

Anyone accessing this Forum on a cell phone, give thanks to Hedy Lamarr.

 

A few more.....

 

Pornstar Asia Carerra is a Mensa member, so is Elizabeth Banks, Natalie Portman a Yale Grad, Shakira is known to be extremely intelligent, Sharon Stone began university at age 15.

[kingstonkid]

21 hours ago, VinnieK said:

Too many downsides and few upsides (to marriage)

Being older, as most if us are, makes it even more pointless.

As for the helper/nurse senario , I wouldn't trust a Thai to see me thru to my last days.                                             I wonder how many old guys get the poison in the coffee treatment and we never hear abt it.

 

Is this not true about any society?

 

Why do people marry at all in that case?

 

I think the thing here is being able to come home share your life story and not have to worry about things.  

 

If you have gf you are always wining and dining.  Worried that she is going to rip you off when you take her home?

 

It is nice to not have to go out hunting in the forest and have your meal ready for you and avail at night without worrying bout bar fine or is she is going to be one that you can not get rid of.

 

 

[CecilM]

“Saying you know a lot…” Maybe expand your horizons. There’s more to life & marriage than Pattaya and bar girls. I can easily list many marriages that are doing just fine. 

[KhunLA]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Would point out touching in public is frowned on by Thai society.

Thankfully the younger generation is moving away from that silliness.

9 minutes ago, CecilM said:

“Saying you know a lot…” Maybe expand your horizons. There’s more to life & marriage than Pattaya and bar girls. I can easily list many marriages that are doing just fine. 

I only know 2 that ended in divorce, mine and a bud of mine.   All the rest still going strong.  Some have their problems (worldwide) but still together.

 

Considering the divorce rate in USA is something like 50% for first timers, things are good here.

Edited July 4, 2023 by KhunLA

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Polaky said:

Problem with a lot of guys is they cannot get a lady back in their own country, so they come over here and as soon as one smiles at them they instantly fall in love, from there on it is all downhill.

What is your definition of "they cannot get a lady back in their own country"?

I didn't want any fat woman with an attitude. 

In farang-land, at least where I came from, are very few slim young women who don't have an attitude problem. And then there are obviously about a hundred guys who are interested in that special women.

At home I looked for a girl with <=50kg, I guess they were less than 10% of all females.

 

When I arrived here the majority of girls had <50kg, and they were nice and didn't have feminist attitude problems.

In the hindsight I am very happy that I didn't lower my standards back in farang land. Because if I would have done that then I am sure at some stage I would have realized that there are other countries with pretty girls without stupid western attitudes. 

[wwest5829]

23 hours ago, Dmaxdan said:

You must bear in mind that on this forum we only here about Thai/Farang marriages that break down and turn volatile.

 

However, we never hear about "were did it all go right marriages" which statistically far outweigh those that go pear shaped.

 

 

I agree that the sour stories outweigh the successful but ... I do recall over the last decade of reading positive stories so I have to disagree that on the Forum we hear "only Thai/Farang marriages that break down and turn volatile".

[CecilM]

17 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

Thankfully the younger generation is moving away from that silliness.

I only know 2 that ended in divorce, mine and a bud of mine.   All the rest still going strong.  Some have their problems (worldwide) but still together.

 

Considering the divorce rate in USA is something like 50% for first timers, things are good here.

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you’re OK. 

[KhunLA]

18 minutes ago, CecilM said:

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you’re OK. 

Moved on long time ago.  Too experienced at divorce. That was #3 or 4 marriages ????????

 

4th is a charm, as they say, been living together 17+yrs, married 9 of those, I think.

 

Obviously, I don't give out marital advice.

Edited July 4, 2023 by KhunLA

[bignok]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Would point out touching in public is frowned on by Thai society.

Old myth.

[spidermike007]

16 hours ago, Goat said:

I am lowly educated and not too bright.

So it is easy for me to find smarter ones. But they always are complaining that they can not have an intellectual conversation with me. I think they are only using me for my body.

 

Gotta love the farangs who have lived here for a decade plus, havent picked up the local lingo and who complain that the Thais are lacking in knowledge. 

Ironic isnt it?

Intelligence, knowledge and intellect are completely distinct and different things. I know alot of smart people here and elsewhere, who are not the least bit intellectual. And that is fine. Granted, a higher education can mean more knowledge of certain areas. But, not always. 

 

So, I tend to have wide ranging discussions with my foreign friends, while many Thais consider the topics of history, cosmology, biology, oceanography, wreck diving, astronomy and science to be highly boring. It is not an issue of intelligence, but rather interest. And perhaps curiosity. 

Edited July 4, 2023 by spidermike007

[novacova]

As for me, I never hung out at bars and never dated a bar girl. Though I met a lot of women here, Thai, Burmese, Chinese, Korean and Singaporean, all of which were well educated and employed. My search for my best friend ended when I met my current wife, best of friends and we keep each other well entertained. 
My guess is that most guys come here desperate and are attracted to desperate women, tilling through short relationships. Personally I can’t imagine having a fulfilling life in such a state. Though I don’t judge those who mutually choose to engage in short relationships, but what I hate seeing is foreigners toying with women that are only interested in serious long term relationships, it takes a real chitttyyy person to perpetrate such behavior.

[billd766]

3 hours ago, LikeItHot said:

I see guys walking into supermarkets etc with their wives and the only way to know they are a couple is they walk in fairly close proximity to each other in the same direction.  No touching. No talking. No smiling.  It's like these guys threw a net over a woman and then slowly trained it to follow them around.  I'd rather be alone.  I would rather talk to myself and make love to my fist than drag one of these bags of brown meat around everywhere I go.

When I used to go to the supermarket with my wife, we would split up and she would get the stuff that she wanted, and I would get the stuff that I wanted. We would meet back at the cashier and I would pay for it. Then we would load the truck and go home.

 

She didn't need to follow me around.

 

Married life is as easy or as hard as you want to make it.

[LikeItHot]

9 minutes ago, billd766 said:

When I used to go to the supermarket with my wife, we would split up and she would get the stuff that she wanted, and I would get the stuff that I wanted. We would meet back at the cashier and I would pay for it. Then we would load the truck and go home.

 

She didn't need to follow me around.

 

Married life is as easy or as hard as you want to make it.

Thanks.  I needed a totally irrelevant unrelated anecdotal response from a random single representative of an entire population to make my data complete.  While you may think the observable universe revolves around your individual minuscule life experiences and are therefore projectable upon all of humanity, I can assure you that is not the case.  

[billd766]

4 minutes ago, LikeItHot said:

Thanks.  I needed a totally irrelevant unrelated anecdotal response from a random single representative of an entire population to make my data complete.  While you may think the observable universe revolves around your individual minuscule life experiences and are therefore projectable upon all of humanity, I can assure you that is not the case.  

It certainly does not revolve around your comment. 

 

How can you assure me that is not the case? It is only your observation.

 

Most people go to supermarkets to shop, and not to check if a man and woman are married.

[LikeItHot]

2 hours ago, Walker88 said:

I was lucky enough to attend the finest schools in the US. The women were all quite intelligent, most were HS Valedictorians/Salutatorians. As an undergrad in a co-ed dorm, I was able to do what undergrads in co-ed dorms are wont to do, and many of the women were lovely.

 

In grad school, the average IQ was even higher, and though there were a few who would fit in your Mensa photo (one was a billionaire via inheritance, and single at the time, which had some men thinking better her than Goldman Sachs after graduation), there were more than a few who got a man's juices flowing.

 

Maybe the correlation between brains and beauty is weak, but from my university and work experience, it is definitely not negative.

 

Anyone accessing this Forum on a cell phone, give thanks to Hedy Lamarr.

 

A few more.....

 

Pornstar Asia Carerra is a Mensa member, so is Elizabeth Banks, Natalie Portman a Yale Grad, Shakira is known to be extremely intelligent, Sharon Stone began university at age 15.

Jerry Hall was married to Mick Jagger and is, perhaps, the most famous Texas model. She came a long way from the woman who once worked at a Dairy Queen in Mesquite, Texas.

 

Hall said she had this advice on keeping a man like Mick: “My mother said it was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.” 

 

She didn't mention a Mensa membership but notably Hall and Jagger eventually split up so that could have been the deciding factor.  Of course it could also be because after 22 years and 4 kids she was tucking her teets in her jeans.  

[Yellowtail]

4 hours ago, LikeItHot said:

I see guys walking into supermarkets etc with their wives and the only way to know they are a couple is they walk in fairly close proximity to each other in the same direction.  No touching. No talking. No smiling.  It's like these guys threw a net over a woman and then slowly trained it to follow them around.  I'd rather be alone.  I would rather talk to myself and make love to my fist than drag one of these bags of brown meat around everywhere I go.

Thanks.  I needed a totally irrelevant unrelated anecdotal response from a random single representative of an entire population to make my data complete.  While you may think the observable universe revolves around your individual minuscule life experiences and are therefore projectable upon all of humanity, I can assure you that is not the case. 

[Hummin]

On 7/3/2023 at 5:11 AM, stoner said:

Being Single VS Marrying a Thai Lady .....life vs death

Happy married men live longer ????

 

 

[Hummin]

On 7/3/2023 at 5:45 AM, liddelljohn said:

All humans are potentially toxic , male or female ,, i starts with parents , then teachers , then bosses, fellow workers, friends, lovers, wives , your kids ,,

education makes little difference , neither does race  ,  

 

Best to be a castle to yourself and be careful who you let through the gates

Or open yourself up and find a wonderful woman.

 

In most cases the mirror effect is a strong power working both ways 

[OneMoreFarang]

32 minutes ago, novacova said:

As for me, I never hung out at bars and never dated a bar girl.

That is obviously fine and your choice.

 

What I find sometimes disturbing is that some smart and/or educated people think that no smart and educated person would go to bars. And no smart and educated person would play with bar girls.

There are lots of smart, well educated, and rich guys who (regularly) go to bars. And many of them play with the girls. 

I didn't try to analyze scientifically why they do what they do. I guess part of it is that they just want to relax and have fun. Have a beer, (maybe) have a girl, listen to music, talk with the guys and relax.

It seems especially the relax part is much easier in a bar than somewhere else.

[stoner]

25 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Happy married men live longer ????

 

 

you know him ? :)

[Hummin]

22 minutes ago, stoner said:

you know him ? ????

I know a few who is happy married, and of course more men who is unsatisfied out of several reasons.

 

Common with those unsatisfied men, they put themselves and their needs first solely, and have no what so ever no social skills or empathy with other people than themselves, and their own feelings. Also tends to choose the same type of women again and again, and continue to blaim everyone else than themselves.

 

Nothing learned, just keep on doing the same over and over again and again